GroundhogDay

Hi, I'm back. Made it through my first wedding since quitting drinking. It wasn't an issue for me to stay sober at all. A few people were hungover the next day, but I wasn't one of them. No pressure to drink either.

Short, but lovely holiday.

Peace, sounds like you had a wonderful day hiking.

Magellan, sorry about the contract termination, but it also sounds like you will be glad when you get settled into the next one. Something different to keep your brain challenged. I know I can't stand to do the same job for long periods of time.

Dee74

good for you GHD

D

Magellan

Thanks Peace - I was worried about me over here....haha. I did go to the gym yesterday, small workout, although it just made me feel awful as my mobility and strength weren't good, oh well. I like the goal of being disciplined in what I do, regardless of fitness, work, family, etc. - I always ask God in my prayers to help me with my willpower to make the right/good choices and the discipline to stay focused. The weather here was blah, kinda like my mood, but I'm glad to hear it was nice over by you, I hope hiking was great!

Magellan

GHD & Peace - I actually saw Ghd's post right before bed and it made me smile and put me in a great frame of mind. I had another tough day, thought about wine, not like Friday but I thought again that I want sobriety more and I didn't want to post that I failed and I am so glad I didn't cave, with Peace getting through "hell week" and doing much better, getting out and hiking and GHD getting through a wedding( yay...way to go!!!), a very big and sometimes very alcohol centric social event unscathed. I was very happy that I wasn't going to be the downer and post a new day 1 event I think it was a turning point yesterday, aside from my insomnia and doom & gloom attitude of worry and dread, I feel good and happy., if that makes any sense. If nothing else I'm sober. Thanks for the encouragement from both of you
Hope you both have a great Sunday! I'll be sure to check in later.

GroundhogDay

Magellan,

I think you are currently in a tough stretch of make-or-break weeks regarding sobriety. Carvings start to wane when you can count your sobriety in months. So, hang tough.

You have a great opportunity here to get back into good physical fitness and spend some quality time with the family before your next contract.

workforit

Peace -- Glad you enjoyed your hike. My hub and I went out hiking yesterday, too. There's something about being out in the woods that's good for the soul.

As we speak I'm wearing my t-shirt that says "Hiking - Cheaper than therapy"

Magellan

Hi GHD - you are absolutely correct this is a tough stretch of make-or-break weeks regarding...I think everything! My cravings seem to have increased lately, I hope they do start to wane soon, way to close for comfort tonight. Luckily I did get rid of the crappy beer in the house and refrig and luckily the garbage men picked up (crazy that those two things needed to happen) - I was on my way to the store for a few things that I didn't really need with the thought (really big thought) of getting wine, car was fixed and I have more mobility, I guess good and bad, then of all things my wife said she needed to support me more and wasn't going to have any wine tonight and since I haven't had any she was going to try to stop for awhile. We went for a walk and she was caving the whole time, but by the time we were back to the house I was past my cravings so I'm good now and she is downstairs researching liver detoxes right now.
You are right I gave a great opportunity just staring me in the face...I don't want to blow it... I want sobriety more!! I hope it gets easier as I go forward. Gonna hang tough and hope my guardian angel does as well

Magellan

The wave crashed - I wasn't prepared to have to be there to announce the sale and my departure to 150+ people I've known for awhile so I drank, simple as that. Had a glass of wine by myself, I knew I wasn't doing well earlier in the day when I went to the gym and my "workout" was aweful, as I'm lifting I started to tear up, I left. I'll pull my self together, early bed time...to the office, tough day and home. I'll be back, stupid decision, move on

Magellan

Sorry

Dee74

No need to leave Magellan.

This doesn't have to be a dumper of a wave

You're not back at square one - you know a lot more now.

Sounds like you need to focus on stress and anxiety a little more and maybe some strategies to deal with uncomfortable situations?

D

GroundhogDay

Magellan,

Sorry to hear it was such a distressing day. I know it is hard to believe, but you can reach a point where days like this don't lead back to drinking.

Magellan

Thanks D & GHD - all that glass of wine did was make me tired, really dumb decision and I even knew it at the time, I gave myself an excuse and I took it. Luckily it wasn't anything more and I still have my nightly insomnia to deal with along with my bowl of cereal. I'm not going to let this set me back, I still do have a tremendous opportunity to get in better shape, spend some great time with my wife & kids and really just hit the reset button on life, sorry to disappoint! I know I can do better, truth be told it wasn't even good, not sure what the nostalgia fairy was saying

GroundhogDay

Magellan,

I am also glad you stopped at one glass. However, be on your guard against the bad fairy. I know from experience that one glass reopens the door to the cravings cycle.

Magellan

The press release went out overnight in the U.S., which is first thing in the morning in Europe and is really making me smile, my inbox is full of good luck wishes, compliments and many remembrances of very good times in Europe when I was called over for meetings (of course many of those good times involved alcohol at Tivoli - probably wrong spelling in Copenhagen) I won't let the Bad fairy in today
I'll check in after the company meeting! Have a great day.

Magellan

The door is shut! It may have been a little tough to push closed, but I'm back on track
I know the next few days will be a bit tough but 25 days of sober muscle workouts left me a bit more prepared.
Watched Maleficent tonight, maybe I'll sleep better if not I'll be checking in later.
Thanks for the support.

GroundhogDay

I don't usually have a problem with insomnia, but I woke up at 2 a.m. this morning. Luckily, I went back to sleep fairly quickly. Definitely yawning tonight.

Managed to rally and have a somewhat productive day. Funny how lazy I can get after just a couple of days off. Yesterday, I couldn't manage to do much except read the news and easy stuff like that.

GroundhogDay

Enjoy your holiday, Peace. I'm looking forward to my holiday next month.

Magellan

Reading the news and easy stuff is great fun along with playing a dumb game with the kids or building a fairy houses (Daddy!! everything needs to be from nature....I wanted to use nails and stuff...my bad )
You need days like that, I have come to realize this so that when I look back at my life the memories will make me smile. That is something that has given me a bit more perspective during the last 4 weeks, slow down and don't let to much time pass by without counting the blessing of each moment. Alcohol tends to speed up time so that we can quickly get over the current moment and move to the next, leave the alcohol out and experience each moment for everything it is...sorry my philosophical me sneaked in this am...hahaha

Magellan

Last minute holidays are so much fun, hope you have a great time!!

GroundhogDay

Magellan,

Living in the moment is definitely part of my recovery plan. I borrow from Taoism a lot in constructing my personal philosophy.