Class of March 2015 Part 4
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Originally Posted by JimdiGriz 
Well had my meeting with a potential sponsor.
Reccomended 90 in 90 and to read doctors opinion in the big book.
And suggested calling him every day.
My face fell!
Reading is not a problem.
90 in 90 just ain't gonna happen although i will do my best: although it feels like something else to fail at.
But calling every day? Seriously? I hate that kind of accountability.
Any thoughts? Is it all just my ego?
*deep sigh
Reccomended 90 in 90 and to read doctors opinion in the big book.
And suggested calling him every day.
My face fell!
Reading is not a problem.
90 in 90 just ain't gonna happen although i will do my best: although it feels like something else to fail at.
But calling every day? Seriously? I hate that kind of accountability.
Any thoughts? Is it all just my ego?
*deep sigh
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Originally Posted by Mvngon
Good morning!
Thought I would do a check in, as it's been awhile.
Secretary--I am so sorry for your loss. Lots of love headed to you from me.
Spirit--I enjoyed your poem. You have a great gift. Please share your work anytime.
Things are going well for me--still sober. I've been busy doing "life", but I do read all of your posts, and I'm always with you in spirit.
I don't feel like I am struggling much with this, and that does concern me a little. This thing has run it's course, and I think that it may be over. Hoping that this thought is not naive, and hoping that I am not missing something that I should be doing for my recovery--but I do believe that I've come to accept that drinking can not ever be moderated or normal for me.
Like many, I have had some epic fails over the past two years. A drink that seems pretty innocent that is followed by weeks of trying to moderate, and still feeling like a slave to the cycle. My body can no longer have even a single glass of wine without feeling "off" for days to come. I've had to accept that one glass of wine at dinner will never support my good health, and I have given up trying to make that work.
This can be tough, as most of my social circle does drink. I've had to turn down a lot of social opportunities, and this is okay, because frankly I find myself annoyed at the drinking and "bonding" that's happening that I feel left out of.
I am working at establishing new relationships with non-drinkers, but this will take time. In the meantime, I'm taking a variety of fitness classes to keep me healthy and somewhat social. I hope to meet some like-minded friends by doing these activities.
My best to each and every one of you today. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!!
Much love,
MV
Thought I would do a check in, as it's been awhile.
Secretary--I am so sorry for your loss. Lots of love headed to you from me.
Spirit--I enjoyed your poem. You have a great gift. Please share your work anytime.
Things are going well for me--still sober. I've been busy doing "life", but I do read all of your posts, and I'm always with you in spirit.
I don't feel like I am struggling much with this, and that does concern me a little. This thing has run it's course, and I think that it may be over. Hoping that this thought is not naive, and hoping that I am not missing something that I should be doing for my recovery--but I do believe that I've come to accept that drinking can not ever be moderated or normal for me.
Like many, I have had some epic fails over the past two years. A drink that seems pretty innocent that is followed by weeks of trying to moderate, and still feeling like a slave to the cycle. My body can no longer have even a single glass of wine without feeling "off" for days to come. I've had to accept that one glass of wine at dinner will never support my good health, and I have given up trying to make that work.
This can be tough, as most of my social circle does drink. I've had to turn down a lot of social opportunities, and this is okay, because frankly I find myself annoyed at the drinking and "bonding" that's happening that I feel left out of.
I am working at establishing new relationships with non-drinkers, but this will take time. In the meantime, I'm taking a variety of fitness classes to keep me healthy and somewhat social. I hope to meet some like-minded friends by doing these activities.
My best to each and every one of you today. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!!
Much love,
MV
Thanks for the compliment! And congrats on your decision. I honestly don't have much of a social circle and fortunately the few ppl I do socialize with have been surprisingly accepting of my decision to quit. However, had they not been, I probably would be moving on just as you are. You have to do what's best for you and your sobriety, even if it might hurt some feelings.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Spirit - love the poem!!! Agree share any time it's great to hear and 90 in 90 is 90 meetings in 90 days
Jimdi- that's pretty intense, my sponsor is nothingggg like that she's very chill and we just call when we feel like, but I'm probably more of an exception I think, a lot of people have spoken about having a sponsor similar to yours. I think it's up to you to decide if that works for you or not - me personally, I need the accountability of being at a homegroup every week and attended 4 meetings week min, but if I had to call everyday or do 90 in 90? Yeah would just send me spiralling into anxiety. But maybe you need that? If you're just resisting because it's not 'ideal' or you can't really be bothered maybe just try what they say. If you know that situation just isn't right for you though, find another sponsor? They all have different ways of working it I've found
Mv- im not sure if it's a bad sign but I feel like my time drinking is over too. I'm not finding it as easy as you, I've had some low times recently and been tempted when feeling depressed, but never got as close as I would have before (even the times I resisted before my last relapse I came very very close and that hasn't happened this time) so I think it's good we feel 'done' with alcohol, as long as it doesn't allow you to get complacent
and 90 in 90 is 90 meetings in 90 days Jimdi- that's pretty intense, my sponsor is nothingggg like that she's very chill and we just call when we feel like, but I'm probably more of an exception I think, a lot of people have spoken about having a sponsor similar to yours. I think it's up to you to decide if that works for you or not - me personally, I need the accountability of being at a homegroup every week and attended 4 meetings week min, but if I had to call everyday or do 90 in 90? Yeah would just send me spiralling into anxiety. But maybe you need that? If you're just resisting because it's not 'ideal' or you can't really be bothered maybe just try what they say. If you know that situation just isn't right for you though, find another sponsor? They all have different ways of working it I've found
Mv- im not sure if it's a bad sign but I feel like my time drinking is over too. I'm not finding it as easy as you, I've had some low times recently and been tempted when feeling depressed, but never got as close as I would have before (even the times I resisted before my last relapse I came very very close and that hasn't happened this time) so I think it's good we feel 'done' with alcohol, as long as it doesn't allow you to get complacent
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Thank you all so much for your love and support. I'm incredibly sad and miss my little guy so much. But I'm hanging in and resolving not to turn to alcohol in this time of sadness. The really good news is that my husband is trying not to drink!!! He sees me trying so hard and he feels that the least he can do is try also!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Secretary im so glad to hear your husband is trying too and that you're hanging in there, again so sorry for your loss it's heartbreaking, I hope you're being kind to yourself and taking time to grieve. we're always here
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Secretary im so glad to hear your husband is trying too and that you're hanging in there, again so sorry for your loss it's heartbreaking, I hope you're being kind to yourself and taking time to grieve. we're always here
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
Originally Posted by secretary
Thank you all so much for your love and support. I'm incredibly sad and miss my little guy so much. But I'm hanging in and resolving not to turn to alcohol in this time of sadness. The really good news is that my husband is trying not to drink!!! He sees me trying so hard and he feels that the least he can do is try also!!
Take care, secretary. You are doing so well right now. We are all proud of how you are hanging on.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Just popped in because I saw my lovely friend Mvngon here, (and lots of other friends as well ), and then I read about your dog secretary. Sending you so much love.
Our furbabies are such incredible blessings, but when we have to say goodbye it is heartbreaking beyond belief. My heart goes out to you and your husband.
Love to all of the Marchers. ♥
), and then I read about your dog secretary. Sending you so much love. Our furbabies are such incredible blessings, but when we have to say goodbye it is heartbreaking beyond belief. My heart goes out to you and your husband.
Love to all of the Marchers. ♥
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Back after the weekend trip with my son. Strugling just a tad since I feel a bit of a "let down" after the weekend. Not going to see him for almost a month because he has things going on over the next 2-3 weekends. Bummed about that, weight gain in sobriety even though I am eating less (thanks God, you jerk), and 2+ weeks of GI issues. Sober life kinda sucks atm. Not planning to drink though.
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Hope all my fellow Marchers are having a great weekend. Even a bad day sober is better than a day drunk or high or what have you.
I myself am having a crappy day today. No AV really just feeling really drained. Have been for about a week.
To top it off, I can't seem to get anything out on paper. I have so many story ideas floating around but I can't seem to pin any of them down to start the outlining process. I feel stuck and beyond frustrated.
I myself am having a crappy day today. No AV really just feeling really drained. Have been for about a week.
To top it off, I can't seem to get anything out on paper. I have so many story ideas floating around but I can't seem to pin any of them down to start the outlining process. I feel stuck and beyond frustrated.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by Pouncer
This is good to hear. I remember when my dog died 7 years ago - it was so painful that I worry about getting attached to my current dogs. Dogs can be closer to you than people. They see you get dressed, they sleep with you, they spend more time with you than your closest friends. Take care, secretary. You are doing so well right now. We are all proud of how you are hanging on.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by Bmac
Back after the weekend trip with my son. Strugling just a tad since I feel a bit of a "let down" after the weekend. Not going to see him for almost a month because he has things going on over the next 2-3 weekends. Bummed about that, weight gain in sobriety even though I am eating less (thanks God, you jerk), and 2+ weeks of GI issues. Sober life kinda sucks atm. Not planning to drink though.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn
Hope all my fellow Marchers are having a great weekend. Even a bad day sober is better than a day drunk or high or what have you. I myself am having a crappy day today. No AV really just feeling really drained. Have been for about a week. To top it off, I can't seem to get anything out on paper. I have so many story ideas floating around but I can't seem to pin any of them down to start the outlining process. I feel stuck and beyond frustrated.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 262
Failed again. Made it 34 days and then effed up Friday. felt motivated Saturday, screwed up today. Quit while I was kinda ahead today. Decide against strict club with cocaine involved. But, don't know how I'm going to do this with out Antabuse. Going back on tomorrow. Lost lonely and afraid. And sad. Really really sad.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
34 days is great but it's really early too. You've shown you can be sober...you just need to work out what else you need to do to make this a permanent transition.
If Antabuse helps you stay sober, I say go for it. As I said 34 days is still pretty early in the piece - you can always stop it later on - I'd speak with your Dr first tho next time?
D
If Antabuse helps you stay sober, I say go for it. As I said 34 days is still pretty early in the piece - you can always stop it later on - I'd speak with your Dr first tho next time?
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 262
Yes I know. I spoke with him last week. Had liver tests down and everything is ok. It just seems like every single thing I do involves alcohol and not in an irresponsible way. My friends can have a few drinks and be responsible. I hate to say it, but I had fun today drinking wine with my fiancé and his sister. I definitely made a good choice by staying home, but I know if I keep drinking it will spiral. I need to be ok with being the person who doesn't drink In a world where everyone does. I just wish I had the will power. I feel so worthless
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