One Year and Under Club Part 41
hey again you lot
sober again today.......have had a really relaxing day, trying as it has been suggested to focus on moving forward again in sobriety........
am very grateful for all the ongoing support
am very aware today on the insidious nature of the disease and as such no matter how I feel am not putting anything in my blood that aint blood....
hope you guys have had an awesome day and a great weekend
sober again today.......have had a really relaxing day, trying as it has been suggested to focus on moving forward again in sobriety........
am very grateful for all the ongoing support
am very aware today on the insidious nature of the disease and as such no matter how I feel am not putting anything in my blood that aint blood....
hope you guys have had an awesome day and a great weekend
BF, great going on planning. I think that when we plan ahead it causes us to think it through so that we don't mindlessly act in the moment and regret later. If you need to leave in the middle or not go at all, those are options, too! I've avoided many situations where I might be tempted and am slowly starting to put back in my life a minimal number of situations where others are drinking when I have other reasons to be there, with a plan.
BF, I overheard a coworker make the womp-womp sound effect the other day. I thought of you immediately. What a sweet little reminder from the universe to send extra support vibes your way. Your resolve in the midst of these difficult situations is exactly what it takes to stay sober. And like Saskia said, you can always leave if it gets too heavy.
I'll catch up properly later on. Be well, Undies!!
I'll catch up properly later on. Be well, Undies!!
Good day Undies, I have pages and pages of posts to catch up on but alas I must be headed out the door now to my parents house (lots of family activities planned this next couple of weeks). Lots of drinking will be going on around me but not a drop for me and I love it this way! I love the sober me (and guess what, so does everyone else! ).
Love and hugs to you all ! Catch up more soon ....
Love and hugs to you all ! Catch up more soon ....
Interesting lunch with my 10 year old. He asked for lemonade and then told me that I’d inspired him not to drink soda (or alcohol when he was an adult). Wow.
My son is a big football fan and I always remind him about Todd Manovich (groomed to be a pro QB since birth with strict exercise / diet- then went in the opposite direction in college when he was able to make independent decisions) to drive home the topic of moderation.
I don’t want him growing up craving or romanticizing something b/c he thinks it’s ‘taboo’. And I’ve he knows that soda or alcohol- in responsible moderation- is not bad.
But what an interesting comment. Can’t help but think if I would have ‘inspired’ him to drink if I hadn’t quit. Goes towards the saying that with kids “more things are caught— than taught”.
My son is a big football fan and I always remind him about Todd Manovich (groomed to be a pro QB since birth with strict exercise / diet- then went in the opposite direction in college when he was able to make independent decisions) to drive home the topic of moderation.
I don’t want him growing up craving or romanticizing something b/c he thinks it’s ‘taboo’. And I’ve he knows that soda or alcohol- in responsible moderation- is not bad.
But what an interesting comment. Can’t help but think if I would have ‘inspired’ him to drink if I hadn’t quit. Goes towards the saying that with kids “more things are caught— than taught”.
This is the first chance I've had to collect my thoughts in a few days - whew! A breakneck pace had always been my preference, but I'm finding that although I can keep up, when I don't have a chance to relax or process through my thoughts, my quality of life declines. I'm a little more anxious, a little less grateful, a little more cranky. I may be coming into maturity a little bit later than others, but it's neat to have these aha moments.
My birthday was a nice day. I received calls, texts, and visits from friends, family, and coworkers - that I actually remembered the next day. I had dinner with my family Thursday night at a very nice restaurant with a very nice wine list. Now, by the end of my drinking, I had settled for less expensive bottles, but a fine red was my preference. It crossed my mind that I could have one drink, or one half a drink. My husband wouldn't have stopped me, nor would have my father or stepmother. In fact many of our nicest evenings together were spent appreciating good red wine. It was a really fleeting thought, though, not one that had any feet. The bottom line is I know now that I drank to alter my consciousness, and if I did that night, it would have reset that downward spiral that I was on nine months ago back into motion. I would have spent my night wondering where my next drink was coming from. Instead, I enjoyed a fabulous dinner, with attention and presence to the people who shared it with me.
Friday I had the chance to compare my life as it is now to what it used to be. At dinner, there was a large group of women. They were dressed up for a big night out, and all looked really nice. Then one of them vomited all over the floor, knocked down a chair, and stumbled to the bathroom - and they ended up getting kicked out of the restaurant. It was nice for that NOT to be me making a mess, doing something embarrassing, and ruining the night. That was the kind of stuff that made my husband irate with me. Although while I was actively drinking, I thought that I was having a really good time and making something memorable happen..... I don't cause scenes anymore. I still have fun, though - and I remember the memorable things, even though my cognitive function is supposedly in decline now that I'm 40.
My vision, my self directed will, of success at 40 was that I'd fit into the same size clothes as I did at 20. I DONT fit into the same size as when I was 20, and am more doughy than milfy. Although I didn't achieve that goal (yet), I'm more of a success than I imagined because I am happy and peaceful in my imperfections.
I'm optimistic that I can handle what comes my way because I'm a nondrinker, yet I take life one day at a time - and sometimes one hour or one minute at a time. The two approaches compliment one another. I appreciate the support in AA, which is why I volunteered to make coffee at my home group, but I broke up with my AA sponsor for not respecting the rational components to my recovery, or the legitimacy of the support we share with each other on SR.
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
My birthday was a nice day. I received calls, texts, and visits from friends, family, and coworkers - that I actually remembered the next day. I had dinner with my family Thursday night at a very nice restaurant with a very nice wine list. Now, by the end of my drinking, I had settled for less expensive bottles, but a fine red was my preference. It crossed my mind that I could have one drink, or one half a drink. My husband wouldn't have stopped me, nor would have my father or stepmother. In fact many of our nicest evenings together were spent appreciating good red wine. It was a really fleeting thought, though, not one that had any feet. The bottom line is I know now that I drank to alter my consciousness, and if I did that night, it would have reset that downward spiral that I was on nine months ago back into motion. I would have spent my night wondering where my next drink was coming from. Instead, I enjoyed a fabulous dinner, with attention and presence to the people who shared it with me.
Friday I had the chance to compare my life as it is now to what it used to be. At dinner, there was a large group of women. They were dressed up for a big night out, and all looked really nice. Then one of them vomited all over the floor, knocked down a chair, and stumbled to the bathroom - and they ended up getting kicked out of the restaurant. It was nice for that NOT to be me making a mess, doing something embarrassing, and ruining the night. That was the kind of stuff that made my husband irate with me. Although while I was actively drinking, I thought that I was having a really good time and making something memorable happen..... I don't cause scenes anymore. I still have fun, though - and I remember the memorable things, even though my cognitive function is supposedly in decline now that I'm 40.
My vision, my self directed will, of success at 40 was that I'd fit into the same size clothes as I did at 20. I DONT fit into the same size as when I was 20, and am more doughy than milfy. Although I didn't achieve that goal (yet), I'm more of a success than I imagined because I am happy and peaceful in my imperfections.
I'm optimistic that I can handle what comes my way because I'm a nondrinker, yet I take life one day at a time - and sometimes one hour or one minute at a time. The two approaches compliment one another. I appreciate the support in AA, which is why I volunteered to make coffee at my home group, but I broke up with my AA sponsor for not respecting the rational components to my recovery, or the legitimacy of the support we share with each other on SR.
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Hi Undies,
I'm nine months sober today. My life is different than it was nine months ago, in ways I never planned, and never would have imagined, from turning my will over to gratitude, peace, joy, and freedom.
My husband didn't stop drinking when I did. His compass is still firmly pointed to getting the next drink. This weekend, in celebration of my birthday, I asked him not to drink. I guess he thought that being grumpy, non-communicative, self-centered - and sober - when we went out Friday night fulfilled my request, because yesterday I could tell he was drunk FROM HIS TEXTS in the afternoon.
With his compass pointed solidly towards where the next drink is coming from, last night he made up for "lost time," because the night before he "lost out" on drinking. Instead of drinking he "had to" eat a nice dinner, then "was stuck" window shopping and walking around all night alongside his lovely wife, "forced" to do what she wanted (window shopping) instead of what he wanted (to saddle up to a bar, drink, watch a hockey game, and get driven home by someone else). Then she had the audacity of falling asleep on the final leg of the car ride home (one of his biggest pet peeves) after a long week at her new job.
I enjoy having friends over. I love hanging out with people, and I really like the couple who we hung out with - at least when they're sober - but I know that the other guy drinks like hubby, alcoholically. When my hubby and that hubby showed up with a 30 pack to share, it was a sign of where their compasses were pointed - not to shared laughs, or camaraderie, or joy, but to the next drink. The conversation, laughs, and stories among the four of us degenerated over the course of the night into slurred words, red eyes, and lumbering to the fridge to get the next drink.
It's interesting that my husband thinks that his drinking is akin to me eating ice cream (it's not healthy), or me going out with my friends (because I'm "not there" with him). But during those acts I don't alter my consciousness, change my reality, say stuff that's out of character, or become unaware of my surroundings alongside other people who are unaware of their surroundings. And when I go out, I come home afterwards, capable and willing of engaging with him and the people around me.
He can't access the joyful, thoughtful, or playful parts of himself when he's sober. And I don't want to access any parts of him when he's drinking because he doesn't follow through after the buzz wears off.
Today, at nine months sober, I'm free from the obsession with alcohol, and every day I'm more and more free of the codependent behaviors that I mistakenly thought were synonymous with compromise in relationships. My life may sound like it's crumbling, but I swear it's not! I didn't enjoy myself last night, but I let it go. I woke up grateful for my children, for the day ahead of me, for my freedom from the obsession to drink, for the direction my compass is pointed to these days. I'm grateful for SR and AA and all of the people in both programs for making space for me to find my way.
Have a great day, Undies!!
I'm nine months sober today. My life is different than it was nine months ago, in ways I never planned, and never would have imagined, from turning my will over to gratitude, peace, joy, and freedom.
My husband didn't stop drinking when I did. His compass is still firmly pointed to getting the next drink. This weekend, in celebration of my birthday, I asked him not to drink. I guess he thought that being grumpy, non-communicative, self-centered - and sober - when we went out Friday night fulfilled my request, because yesterday I could tell he was drunk FROM HIS TEXTS in the afternoon.
With his compass pointed solidly towards where the next drink is coming from, last night he made up for "lost time," because the night before he "lost out" on drinking. Instead of drinking he "had to" eat a nice dinner, then "was stuck" window shopping and walking around all night alongside his lovely wife, "forced" to do what she wanted (window shopping) instead of what he wanted (to saddle up to a bar, drink, watch a hockey game, and get driven home by someone else). Then she had the audacity of falling asleep on the final leg of the car ride home (one of his biggest pet peeves) after a long week at her new job.
I enjoy having friends over. I love hanging out with people, and I really like the couple who we hung out with - at least when they're sober - but I know that the other guy drinks like hubby, alcoholically. When my hubby and that hubby showed up with a 30 pack to share, it was a sign of where their compasses were pointed - not to shared laughs, or camaraderie, or joy, but to the next drink. The conversation, laughs, and stories among the four of us degenerated over the course of the night into slurred words, red eyes, and lumbering to the fridge to get the next drink.
It's interesting that my husband thinks that his drinking is akin to me eating ice cream (it's not healthy), or me going out with my friends (because I'm "not there" with him). But during those acts I don't alter my consciousness, change my reality, say stuff that's out of character, or become unaware of my surroundings alongside other people who are unaware of their surroundings. And when I go out, I come home afterwards, capable and willing of engaging with him and the people around me.
He can't access the joyful, thoughtful, or playful parts of himself when he's sober. And I don't want to access any parts of him when he's drinking because he doesn't follow through after the buzz wears off.
Today, at nine months sober, I'm free from the obsession with alcohol, and every day I'm more and more free of the codependent behaviors that I mistakenly thought were synonymous with compromise in relationships. My life may sound like it's crumbling, but I swear it's not! I didn't enjoy myself last night, but I let it go. I woke up grateful for my children, for the day ahead of me, for my freedom from the obsession to drink, for the direction my compass is pointed to these days. I'm grateful for SR and AA and all of the people in both programs for making space for me to find my way.
Have a great day, Undies!!
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Welcome, Dee939918! May I call you Dee9 for short? It is nice to have you among us--this thread "the Undies"--is really supportive and given to excellent advice. Many times it has picked me up when I was feeling down or helped me when I was struggling. Please make yourself at home!
Thanks Saskia! I have better days than others. Right now I am going through kind of a "blah" phase the past few days with the shorter days and less sunlight etc. I know I will emerge on the other side of this my normal chipper/happy self but for now I am just going to ride through this "blah" phase as a surfer would wait patiently for his/her wave to come. I do know one thing for certain which is that I would feel 1,000,000,000 times worse than "blah" if I were drinking so I am so grateful to be sober blah !!!!
Love you all with all my heart. So proud to be an Undie !!!
Love, Chris
Love you all with all my heart. So proud to be an Undie !!!
Love, Chris
Glee, many congrats on 9 months sober!!!
Dee9, welcome to this wonderful group. It's almost always lively and oh so helpful. With Undies in all different stages of sobriety, I learn new things just about daily and some days there are many pearls.
Dee9, welcome to this wonderful group. It's almost always lively and oh so helpful. With Undies in all different stages of sobriety, I learn new things just about daily and some days there are many pearls.
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