Class of October 2014 Part 5
Thanks guys for all the support and compassion. I'm afraid that sobriety isn't going to improve my mental health. I was diagnosed with bipolar II after I was sober for several months and still had serious problems. Even the right meds only do so much. I'm scared to deal with this for the rest of my life without alcohol. I don't really believe people when they say it will get better with sobriety. Yes I'm sure to some degree it will, but I'm scared about the times when it doesn't and I can't get away. I guess I have to toughen up and learn how to deal with it, but that is a very daunting task. I just have a low tolerance for negative feelings and am feeling pretty sorry for myself. I have to learn how to live, and that seems impossible right now.
Hello team. Checking in. Been sick as a dog all week so I haven't been posting much. Didn't really want anything to do with this recovery thing. Still doing well relatively. Been sober since September 30th. First month was fairly easy. But now second month in I'm having doubts again about long term sobriety. This is what usually happens with me. What to do...anyhow I got a gig tonight in a bar with my buddies. Wish me luck.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Hi Octsobers.
My interweb connection has been down all day, and I've really missed you.
My heart goes out to you Briar and Jenn. I can't add any more advice than has already been given other than to say that I share everybody's love and concern for you.
I'm no stranger to depression myself and have been on meds for it for many years. I know how very difficult it is to reach out when that black cloud descends, but I also know now that it is the reaching out that helps to pull me out of the abyss. I've also come to understand that alcohol plays havoc with the medication and I hope that once the alcohol leaves us and stays away then things will settle down and become more balanced.
On a lighter note, it's roll call day on Monday, so if you're just lurking, get posting to let us know how you're getting on, whether it's good, bad or indifferent. It's only the people who've posted in the week that get included in the roll call. You don't want to be marked absent because I'll have to send a letter home to your parents!
Happy, sober weekend all.
My interweb connection has been down all day, and I've really missed you.
My heart goes out to you Briar and Jenn. I can't add any more advice than has already been given other than to say that I share everybody's love and concern for you.
I'm no stranger to depression myself and have been on meds for it for many years. I know how very difficult it is to reach out when that black cloud descends, but I also know now that it is the reaching out that helps to pull me out of the abyss. I've also come to understand that alcohol plays havoc with the medication and I hope that once the alcohol leaves us and stays away then things will settle down and become more balanced.
On a lighter note, it's roll call day on Monday, so if you're just lurking, get posting to let us know how you're getting on, whether it's good, bad or indifferent. It's only the people who've posted in the week that get included in the roll call. You don't want to be marked absent because I'll have to send a letter home to your parents!
Happy, sober weekend all.
Thanks everyone, and good luck tonight Arbor. Stay strong.
I had a hair appointment this morning. It was right across the street from a drugstore that sells hard liquor. I was by myself, and today is the start of a week off with very few obligations. I was so tempted to buy a bottle. I reasoned that I would just buy it to have, not to drink, and I would figure out the rest later. Funny how it's hard to think ahead. It takes me one step at a time. Just buy it. Then just put some in a smaller bottle so it's easily accessible. Then just think about it for a while. Relax, you're not drinking, just thinking. Then pour some in a glass. Don't worry, you're not drinking, you're just putting it in a glass.
So I was on to it today, and I came home empty handed. It's been very convincing lately, though.
I had a hair appointment this morning. It was right across the street from a drugstore that sells hard liquor. I was by myself, and today is the start of a week off with very few obligations. I was so tempted to buy a bottle. I reasoned that I would just buy it to have, not to drink, and I would figure out the rest later. Funny how it's hard to think ahead. It takes me one step at a time. Just buy it. Then just put some in a smaller bottle so it's easily accessible. Then just think about it for a while. Relax, you're not drinking, just thinking. Then pour some in a glass. Don't worry, you're not drinking, you're just putting it in a glass.
So I was on to it today, and I came home empty handed. It's been very convincing lately, though.
Hi Dee.
Two Ireland v Australia internationals today. International rules (Aussies won) and rugby (Ireland won)
Unfortunately the All Blacks beat Wales. Close with 10 mins to go. Flattering score in the end.
Two Ireland v Australia internationals today. International rules (Aussies won) and rugby (Ireland won)
Unfortunately the All Blacks beat Wales. Close with 10 mins to go. Flattering score in the end.
Sneaky indeed, Sparkos. I've heard the whisper today too. Few responsibilities in the upcoming week, home alone, no one would know, not even SR peeps, blah blah blah. What a bunch of garbage. It's actual poison, people! It can't possibly truly help.
You know what can help? Thai chicken soup in the crockpot.
Also... Folding laundry, visiting with a friend, cleaning the fridge drawers, painting your toes, watching old favorite movies like Stand by Me, going for a drive, ... That's what has worked for me today. I'm curious to hear...what is working for everyone else?
Rock on, Arbor and Dee!
You know what can help? Thai chicken soup in the crockpot.
Also... Folding laundry, visiting with a friend, cleaning the fridge drawers, painting your toes, watching old favorite movies like Stand by Me, going for a drive, ... That's what has worked for me today. I'm curious to hear...what is working for everyone else?
Rock on, Arbor and Dee!
Hi Conquest, my daughter and are making some tomato veggie soup. While it's cooking I'm attempting to clean up the seven levels of mass destruction she has brought upon our home. Nail painting is a good way to stay sober. Doing it drunk is a bad plan. I speak from a whole lot of experience.
Briar, Tomato veggie sounds awesome. And yes, I've also woken up with some pretty jacked up looking tootsies after a midnight polish party. Lol
I hope you and your cutie pie have a fun night together. It sounds like it's already off to a pretty sweet start.
I hope you and your cutie pie have a fun night together. It sounds like it's already off to a pretty sweet start.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Today was up early for coffee and then to gym. Picked up donut holes for my little one. Took sample of pool water to get tested and see what I need to do for winterizing. Went to lowes. Worked in the yard for hours. Have had a shower and am gonna watch football. That's about as exciting as I could manage for today....but I didn't drink! I hope y'all are having a nice Saturday.
Lost 3 posts. Basically I've had no sleep got screwed over all day by my stupid wife, got a long drive to pick the kids up, everything hurts, and I've got my usual 4 day out hangover/ psycho thinking process going on. Hating everything right now. If I had nerve pills I'd eat em, but none of that really has ever helped me. Just not to drink-that's it. Ought to be simple. So mad I just want to scream at the world.
AV, I guess. God I'd love an escape.
I'd really love if I hadn't typed this crap twice already ! Haha
Gotta get it out of me though.
Sober is better than dead. That's where booze takes you.
I hate it that other ppl suffer alcoholism but I'm glad to talk to ppl who know what this is like.
Sober is all I got right now.
AV, I guess. God I'd love an escape.
I'd really love if I hadn't typed this crap twice already ! Haha
Gotta get it out of me though.
Sober is better than dead. That's where booze takes you.
I hate it that other ppl suffer alcoholism but I'm glad to talk to ppl who know what this is like.
Sober is all I got right now.
JL I'm so sorry you've had such a bad day. Drinking would just draw it out and turn one sh**** day into two. You're really tired, can you sit down and rest now? Have a little time alone? I know it's hard with a pack of kids, but maybe just step outside for a few minutes and sort out what you're feeling, see if you can come down from it.
thanks briar,
took a melatonin and a Benadryl. I feel drowsy, therefore calmer. Ive learned that I am an absolute nut when detoxing from even 1/2 pint. Its causes depression in me for like 4-7 days. I cant make any decisions that I can trust. Basically am useless for a period of time, except for stumbling through life. Today I was supposed to "perform" socially for plans my wife had made, then asked me to stay up with the kids playing, then get up with them while she slept, THEN go out and do social stuff. Day from hell ! hahaha
Thank you for being there.
Tomorrow will get a little better.
Im hoping your time with little people went good this evening. Kids rock. Theyre little ppl without all the crap, yet !
God love em !!
took a melatonin and a Benadryl. I feel drowsy, therefore calmer. Ive learned that I am an absolute nut when detoxing from even 1/2 pint. Its causes depression in me for like 4-7 days. I cant make any decisions that I can trust. Basically am useless for a period of time, except for stumbling through life. Today I was supposed to "perform" socially for plans my wife had made, then asked me to stay up with the kids playing, then get up with them while she slept, THEN go out and do social stuff. Day from hell ! hahaha
Thank you for being there.
Tomorrow will get a little better.
Im hoping your time with little people went good this evening. Kids rock. Theyre little ppl without all the crap, yet !
God love em !!
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