Gilmer

Things are good with me, Toots. I've finished reviewing Hebrew I--and, in spite of my odd new terror, I am scheduled to start Hebrew II tomorrow. I have decided not to wait till next week: I'm starting right in tomorrow.

Tomorrow I won't be giving out candy: my husband will be home alone doing that (hope he doesn't get a fright)!

I'll be with the marching band: serving the kids boxes and boxes of pizza at 5:00, then hanging around the game till the third quarter, at which time I'll sell them hot dogs at the concession stand.

By that time all the trick or treaters should be gone, unfortunately (although we might get a few teenaged 9:00 stragglers).

Gilmer

Definitely continue to stand tough, Chris!

calichris

Yes M'am !! After all, the cost of giving in and relapsing is gut-wrenchingly miserable. Would rather feel these uncomfortable feelings for a while sober than the excrutiating aftermath of a relapse.

I am standing tough by the Grace of God and all your support thanks so much everyone !!!!

LonelyShadow

Thanks toots, this site has been so important to me in early recovery, when I found it back in February the support and knowledge helped me get 155 days which I was so proud of, I had tried before on my own and never managed more than a couple of weeks. I got very disappointed with myself when I relapsed but I realise that you can't dwell on it, just learn from the mistake and keep moving forward.

I think it's important to keep coming back even though your addiction is screaming at you to just give up. There are a couple of positives in that the relapses i've had before lasted a couple of weeks, but i've managed to pull this one around in four days. Four awful, terrible days that shouldn't of happened, but I take the fact I could stop sooner than before as a positive.

I want to be sober for the rest of my life. I am NOT giving up on myself, I will NOT let this happen again.

Gilmer

LonelyShadow

Yeahh!! Rock N' Roll!!

lol

Thanks Gilmer

calichris

Guys and gals I am almost in tears (good tears!). I came home to find this. My wife made me double chocolate chip brownies to celebrate 80 days.
What an amazing surprise! Just exactly when I needed it too !! How blessed and lucky am I ???
I am so grateful !!!! snif, snif
My PAWS did not instantaneously go away but I must say this made my day and I wanted to share the love with you all.

LonelyShadow

That's so awesome calichris, that looks delicious

Saskia

That's super, Chris! Good to have nearby support. Shhhh, it's not for publication yet but I'm at 84 or 85 days and am waiting for 3 months to celebrate. That will be a first for me since joining SR in May 2012.

LS, you will do this. I lost count of how many times I slipped and struggled back by my fingernails. As Toots noted, where else are people so understanding and helpful?! I learn so much here by reading others' posts. If you all didn't struggle at all, I wouldn't learn much.

I had my last IOP session this morning! I have decided to do the after care group also - that focuses on relapse prevention and meets once a week for 1.5 hours. With my upcoming move, I thought that would be a wise choice.

When I have a chance I'd like to share something I learned today about relapse prevention. I want to find a succinct and clear way to describe it. Although I feel strong this time, I've learned more about potential pitfalls and how to deal with them.

Gilmer

CaliChris, congratulations for having such a fantastic wife! Oh, and for your 80 days, too!

Sass, it'll be a smiley extravaganza for your 3 months' anniversary!

LonelyShadow

Thanks saskia I would like to hear what you learned about relapse prevention, I need all the help I can get!

I honestly think this site and the members saves lives. Looking back I stopped posting about a week before I lapsed, I have to remember to stay close to this site, even if I feel like I don't need to.

gleefan

Hi Undies -

Welcome Calichris!

What a great discussion today about self forgiveness and acceptance - two of the most transformative forces in my recovery. I know that everything I've don't hasn't been good, kind, acceptable, or right. When I stopped obsessively churning around the past in my head in an -aholic manner, the process of forgiveness began - of myself, of my parents, of everything that bothered me. I don't condone my mistakes - I wouldn't advise anyone else to make the same ones - but I accept them. This radical acceptance deepened my regard, my love, for myself and others.

Don't mistake me, I'm most definitely a work in progress. I am not oozing love and warmth at every moment. I still create my fair share of drama. Old habits die hard. The principles of self forgiveness and acceptance, on a day to day basis, like Carlos wrote about, have made a huge difference in my life.

Be well, Undies!

LonelyShadow

Your continuing progress is really inspiring Glee

SparkyMcSparky

Eat the whole thing yourself.

That'll punch your PAWS solidly in the nuts.

Saskia

Chris, so nice that you have a supportive wife

Dee74

Have a great weekend folks

D

Gilmer

You. too, Dee!

LonelyShadow

Thought I'd better check in, slept surprisingly well last night and feel okay today just a bit foggy-headed. Going to spend the day thinking of ways to stoop this happening again, first thing is first I'm going back to the doctors so I'm going to make an appointment right now, It's something I've been putting off and I think it would be good for me to explain a bit more about my problem to them and maybe ask a bit more about my anxiety and possibility of PTSD, might also be a good idea to get blood work done again to see how i'm getting on with the physical side of things.

I'm also going to have a chat with my dad about my boundaries, I'm getting to a stage where I have the means necessary to finally move out of this house but until then I have to find a way to co-exist with my Dad without him driving me absolutely crackers.

I'm reading Rational Recovery and although there are some things that I do agree with i'm surprised at just how different it is to AA! I had no idea it disagreed with the disease model of addiction so that might take some thinking about.

Hope everyone is well out there today! Keep fighting the good fight!

Gilmer

Hi, LS. I'll bet you'll find that just setting out your boundaries with your dad will help you a lot. It will empower you. You will be symbolically handing over full responsibility to your father for his own actions; in so doing, you will be able to keep from internalizing his actions so much.

LonelyShadow

Thanks Gilmer that's what I was vaguely hoping would be the case but you've just put it into words much better than I could!