Class of August 2014 Part 10
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: texas
Posts: 328
Originally Posted by maximus97 
Hello team. After much thought, I've come to realise that I only got upset about Glandons post because it hit home. He was right, obviously what I'm doing, or not doing, isn't working for me. I'm not open to AA at all, tried that and it didn't work for me. I'm just not getting this staying sober. It makes me upset, only with myself. All I can do is keep trying and try to figure out something that works for me. Thanks everyone for understanding, and trying to help me. And for caring enough to try. I'm grateful to all of you. Thanks for the pms too. I'm going to stick around, and annoy you good folks some more!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 118
I think I can humbly say that Phase 1 of my new sobriety is pretty much under control. I rarely have any strong urges or cravings and I posted here recently that the mere thought of AL is repulsive. So, much of the “physical” aspects of AL abuse seem to be in the rear view mirror. I can still see them, which is good (so I am not complacent about my addiction), but AL is not in my future.
So, with the physical urge of my quit, thankfully at bay, this provides me the ability and hopefully clarity to now look at things that may be very uncomfortable.
I am ready to look at myself more deeply. Into my personality, habits and psyche (as much as I can) to figure out the “WHY”? Why did I spend so much of my adult life needing to self-medicate? To daily numb myself and my feelings? Why couldn't I be satisfied with life as is; vs. feeling the need to get high on AL and check out?
Honestly, I am more worried about what lies ahead on this Phase 2 than I was in getting through Phase 1. But, I don’t think I can really say to myself that I am in a meaningful long term recovery, without getting these issues identified and resolved.
To start this, in a day or so, I am going to sign off from SR for a period of time. I am going to a cloistered Benedictine Monastery in Northern New Mexico. I will be entering just before my 80th AF day and returning on my 90th day. The Monastery is in a very remote location, no internet, phones and only limited electricity. I will be living with about 30 monks who are there and I’ll be in total silence, other than being in Mass, and praying the Liturgy of the Hours with the monks (an ancient monastic tradition of prayers during the day and evening). Last bell is at 7:50 PM and first bell is at 3:50 AM. So, my day will be in prayer and some manual labor. By the way, I had requested to be allowed to come to this Monastery last summer, before my quit, and received approval a couple of months ago. So, maybe this is part of God’s plan that I should be going there at this point in my recovery?
Anyhow, chances are that I will really need the counsel and guidance of you all, as I move into this new Phase. In fact this has already happened… I read Chris’s blogpost of March, 2014. Powerful comments in there Chris… I will take them with me when I leave.
So, with the physical urge of my quit, thankfully at bay, this provides me the ability and hopefully clarity to now look at things that may be very uncomfortable.
I am ready to look at myself more deeply. Into my personality, habits and psyche (as much as I can) to figure out the “WHY”? Why did I spend so much of my adult life needing to self-medicate? To daily numb myself and my feelings? Why couldn't I be satisfied with life as is; vs. feeling the need to get high on AL and check out?
Honestly, I am more worried about what lies ahead on this Phase 2 than I was in getting through Phase 1. But, I don’t think I can really say to myself that I am in a meaningful long term recovery, without getting these issues identified and resolved.
To start this, in a day or so, I am going to sign off from SR for a period of time. I am going to a cloistered Benedictine Monastery in Northern New Mexico. I will be entering just before my 80th AF day and returning on my 90th day. The Monastery is in a very remote location, no internet, phones and only limited electricity. I will be living with about 30 monks who are there and I’ll be in total silence, other than being in Mass, and praying the Liturgy of the Hours with the monks (an ancient monastic tradition of prayers during the day and evening). Last bell is at 7:50 PM and first bell is at 3:50 AM. So, my day will be in prayer and some manual labor. By the way, I had requested to be allowed to come to this Monastery last summer, before my quit, and received approval a couple of months ago. So, maybe this is part of God’s plan that I should be going there at this point in my recovery?
Anyhow, chances are that I will really need the counsel and guidance of you all, as I move into this new Phase. In fact this has already happened… I read Chris’s blogpost of March, 2014. Powerful comments in there Chris… I will take them with me when I leave.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by Ultramarathoner
I look as it as spending 25 years learning what doesn't work as well for you- and using those learnings to passionately embrace what does!
You're at an enviable spot now- early retirement, pets which you love, hobbies which you enjoy, and 25+ more years to enjoy it all alcohol free.
Now if we can just get the individual in the book club to start finding rainbows in every selection rather than her current 'go to'. . .
You're at an enviable spot now- early retirement, pets which you love, hobbies which you enjoy, and 25+ more years to enjoy it all alcohol free.
Now if we can just get the individual in the book club to start finding rainbows in every selection rather than her current 'go to'. . .
Speaking of the book club - - We were discussing what three characters had in common in the book we just finished, and (probably because we read the most straight-laced book we have read in a few years,) you-know-who put her purse on the table and took out a lipstick, a smart phone stylus, a fat pen, a mascara, a chap stick, on and on - - and said, "I am more interested in what these things have in common!" Writing it now, it sounds funny, but at the time, I did not even smile. She thought I was a mean drunk; now she must think I am a sour sober!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Good afternoon everyone.
I swam, had a manicure and pedicure, then went to The Paper Store which is having a big anniversary sale. By then I was hungry, and decided to phone a nearby steak house, which is about the only place I ever get steak; I never cook it, and I only order it in steak restaurants. I have been craving steak, and decided to order a meal to go, because that is one of the places I relate to ice-cold Lite beer.
I have been treating myself all day because today is Day 70. I was going to wait until Day 100, but decided to celebrate today. I then thought that the steak is never as good when I bring it home, so I should make a sandwich at home...then, I drove right into the parking lot, ordered my favorite steak dinner with a Caesar salad, loaded baked potato and WATER!! I DID IT ! ! ! ! I sat in a booth in the bar area, where I usually sit, and I was fine. (Since retiring I frequently go to lunch with neighbors, family members, Y friends, so it doesn't bother me to occasionally go alone - especially to a place where I usually go with others - - it makes me feel like they know I have friends - - WEIRD, I know they probably only care about the size of the tip I leave!)
I came home to give Scooter a good walk ; we have been having really short ones with this crazy wild Northeaster. Now, I am going to a book store. Tonight I am going to a potluck dinner at a neighbor's house where drinking will not be an issue. I just hope it is not going to be to establish a Neighborhood Watch or something. This is the neighbor who saw a strange truck and now seems to be patrolling! I got the mass email invitation a few days ago - -all people in our development. It should be something!
I hope everyone is having an easy, happy, sober day.
I swam, had a manicure and pedicure, then went to The Paper Store which is having a big anniversary sale. By then I was hungry, and decided to phone a nearby steak house, which is about the only place I ever get steak; I never cook it, and I only order it in steak restaurants. I have been craving steak, and decided to order a meal to go, because that is one of the places I relate to ice-cold Lite beer.
I have been treating myself all day because today is Day 70. I was going to wait until Day 100, but decided to celebrate today. I then thought that the steak is never as good when I bring it home, so I should make a sandwich at home...then, I drove right into the parking lot, ordered my favorite steak dinner with a Caesar salad, loaded baked potato and WATER!! I DID IT ! ! ! ! I sat in a booth in the bar area, where I usually sit, and I was fine. (Since retiring I frequently go to lunch with neighbors, family members, Y friends, so it doesn't bother me to occasionally go alone - especially to a place where I usually go with others - - it makes me feel like they know I have friends - - WEIRD, I know they probably only care about the size of the tip I leave!)
I came home to give Scooter a good walk ; we have been having really short ones with this crazy wild Northeaster. Now, I am going to a book store. Tonight I am going to a potluck dinner at a neighbor's house where drinking will not be an issue. I just hope it is not going to be to establish a Neighborhood Watch or something. This is the neighbor who saw a strange truck and now seems to be patrolling! I got the mass email invitation a few days ago - -all people in our development. It should be something!
I hope everyone is having an easy, happy, sober day.
here! 71/72 days sober. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 625
Checking in on this sober Friday. Today is day 27. I've been trying to keep up with all the posts. There are so many!! I see that many posts cover peoples struggles but others touch on things people are doing instead of drinking. I think that's great and find it to be motivating. I know I need new hobbies and need to find non drinking related activities to do. I am trying. It truly is about changing my lifestyle. The posts about book clubs, exercise, etcetera are great!! Keep up the good work team!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Dee74
glad all is ok Ultra 
bon voyage Glandon - sounds amazing.
glad you're staying max
congrats bbf and scooter
hope everyone has a great sober weekend
D
bon voyage Glandon - sounds amazing.
glad you're staying max
congrats bbf and scooter
hope everyone has a great sober weekend
D
Thanks for the kind words Glandon I know these 10 days will be transformational for you! Oh, and enjoy it too
! We all should 'unplug' from time to time I am looking forward to hearing all about it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Glandon, you continue to approach your quest vigorously and methodically. I expect your 19 days will nourish your soul.
Scooter, well done! Great reward! Next book club perhaps you can reference the items that have / will soon be found in Mavis's shopping cart and ask a similar question. Regardless of the items I think we all know the answer to what they will end up having in common.
Let's have a powerful weekend team!
Scooter, well done! Great reward! Next book club perhaps you can reference the items that have / will soon be found in Mavis's shopping cart and ask a similar question. Regardless of the items I think we all know the answer to what they will end up having in common.
Let's have a powerful weekend team!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
That is going to be an awesome experience, Glandon!
Scooter, Wooooooohoooooo 70 days of sobriety! I hope your potluck is simultaneously interesting and drama free
BBF-Awesome job! Sober pumpkins are the cutest pumpkins!
Pink, I was confused over lemsip, too! I tried saying it out loud, said it backwards, and considered whether it was a powder medicine, a tea, or lozenge, all while online with a Google tab beckoning...
Glad your son is ok, Ultra! My son is going to a haunted fair tonight and I volunteered to drive the kids back home. Who cares? It doesn't interfere with my tea drinking one bit!
Rah, I have tried out so many hobbies now that I am sober! I'm horrible at all of them, but that's why they are hobbies. Nature photography (but got chased by a wild turkey), guitar (3 whole chords...yeah), writing (some how still working on this, but i'm very doubtful that even an editor would be willing to read it-even for pay), running (nope), home decorating (but then I might have to dust), Zumba (my class is full of 25 year olds and I horrify them with their future-but look who memorized all of the dance moves and doesn't get side aches-ha!), biking (accidentally rode through dog doo on a rainy day and it sprayed all over me), nordic walking (HOW could I have injured myself walking?), jewelry making (ummmm...working with wire is so much harder than YouTube lead me to believe!), and I think that's all so far.
Winter is coming, and I have so many things to try (and achieve mediocrity).
I've had so much fun!
London, glad you are feeling better and are now the smoothest and coolest guy at work!
Determined, thanks for role call!
TeamAugust-all of you, thanks being here and sharing-I'm so grateful for each and every one of you! I have a really small support system in RL and it's been a week where I just couldn't meet the demands on me with as much grace as was required. But it's Friday!
Also, I feel as though we haven't had nearly enough fireworks in here lately. Count your minutes, hours, days, weeks or months, and every time you have ever put your foot down and told that AV to back off! Terrific work!
Scooter, Wooooooohoooooo 70 days of sobriety! I hope your potluck is simultaneously interesting and drama free
BBF-Awesome job! Sober pumpkins are the cutest pumpkins!
Pink, I was confused over lemsip, too! I tried saying it out loud, said it backwards, and considered whether it was a powder medicine, a tea, or lozenge, all while online with a Google tab beckoning...
Glad your son is ok, Ultra! My son is going to a haunted fair tonight and I volunteered to drive the kids back home. Who cares? It doesn't interfere with my tea drinking one bit!
Rah, I have tried out so many hobbies now that I am sober! I'm horrible at all of them, but that's why they are hobbies. Nature photography (but got chased by a wild turkey), guitar (3 whole chords...yeah), writing (some how still working on this, but i'm very doubtful that even an editor would be willing to read it-even for pay), running (nope), home decorating (but then I might have to dust), Zumba (my class is full of 25 year olds and I horrify them with their future-but look who memorized all of the dance moves and doesn't get side aches-ha!), biking (accidentally rode through dog doo on a rainy day and it sprayed all over me), nordic walking (HOW could I have injured myself walking?), jewelry making (ummmm...working with wire is so much harder than YouTube lead me to believe!), and I think that's all so far.
Winter is coming, and I have so many things to try (and achieve mediocrity).
I've had so much fun!
London, glad you are feeling better and are now the smoothest and coolest guy at work!
Determined, thanks for role call!
TeamAugust-all of you, thanks being here and sharing-I'm so grateful for each and every one of you! I have a really small support system in RL and it's been a week where I just couldn't meet the demands on me with as much grace as was required. But it's Friday!
Also, I feel as though we haven't had nearly enough fireworks in here lately. Count your minutes, hours, days, weeks or months, and every time you have ever put your foot down and told that AV to back off! Terrific work!
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