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One Year and Over Club Part 19

Old 10-23-2014, 02:14 PM
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Oh DG I hate when that happens. I hope you manage to catch up. X
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Old 10-24-2014, 12:00 AM
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Good morning Overs.

DG - sorry to hear about your broken nights sleep.

On Wednesday I was trying to make a jig to do a repetitive job quicker. The arithmetic for setting up a power tool wasn't hard but it defeated me, so I thought I'll do it by hand. Finished it and went to cook our evening meal. Thursday I go to use it and discover it is too big! Puzzling what I'd done wrong I discovered I'd made a jig exactly the correct size to make the jig I needed.

Have a great day.
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Old 10-24-2014, 12:51 AM
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I used to like reading and responding in the new comers. Lately it gives me the irks. not really sure why. Dee i am full of admiration for your work there - i think posts where the social situation, or sleep problems is seen as a justification for drinking probably do irk me the most. I need to work on acceptance and compassion

The last few springs have set off the AV but this time drinking doesnt cross my mind much- i have a lot going on and get some enjoyment in life- i know what is at stake and i am not inclined to blow it
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Old 10-24-2014, 01:13 AM
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Instant - I still respond to new comers but I know what you mean. Where are all the 'Three years and Over Club' members? There are some loooong timers around but not many. When you've dug your way out of the alcohol pit is it hard to reach back to the people still mired in it?

My AV is pretty much silent these days. I went to a pub with friends two weeks ago and had no thoughts of drinking. The only hump in the road was they didn't have any orange juice!
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Old 10-24-2014, 02:24 AM
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Instant I haven't been on newcomers threads for a while, for me it has been a time factor, but I totally understand. For me it was frustration that some of them seem to like being 'victims' to the decease. The ones who always have an answer for every possibly solution giving reasons why it won't work. The ones who come back time and again saying sorry I slipped up what can I do, agree with all the advice swear they will do things differently and are back two days later...guess what, I slipped again,help.
I know it is not for me to judge another's path to sobriety, but I do know that if I don't have positive words to offer in the right frame of mind, I am better leaving them to those with endless patience and giving my support to those who are working hard at their recovery but still need a hand over the hurdles.

DG it must be catching, I had a crap night last night, one more night down south and then I get to head home back to my own bed, my own pillow and my own routine. Roll on Saturday morning!
Then of course I will be moaning that I still don't have Internet at home and I still don't have a functional car. Though I have a pretty Porsche 911 to look at and a high end Merc that draws the eye. Just a shame the wheels currently don't go round on either of them!!!
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Old 10-24-2014, 02:43 AM
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As the last few posts attest, it's probably frustration/burnout that stops most old timers from sticking around, treerat.
Some simply move on too, back to 'real life',

The site is massively bigger than it was when I started here. I could read everything then - family and friends included. That's just not possible now.

The constant is that core group of committed members who stick around to mentor/advise or just simply to help newcomers

D
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Old 10-24-2014, 04:48 AM
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for me, i do a tremendous amount of newcomer work live

at meetings, institutions and rehabs

and believe me, my phone should be on permanent ring! lol
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Old 10-24-2014, 05:04 AM
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You do amazing work Zip - I'm certainly not judging anyone

D
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Old 10-24-2014, 05:12 AM
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no worries dee, it wasn't taken that way

and thanks
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Old 10-24-2014, 06:05 AM
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Was in a funky, low mood last night. Lots of changes going on I do not like and a lot of the f-- it thoughts that were triggered by ugly thoughts of jealousy and "why me??" or "why not me... what do I always do wrong? " self pity and beating myself up.. that usually sent me to a drink/addiction binge. But I am stronger, more grounded and these things can be a blip or a challenge, not a plunge to doom.

Dr trying out the new regime and dosages of meds too, that always can mess one up as we try to find a good combo.

I like helping the newer members since with 18 months under my belt I have a bit of wisdom to share. But I do know what Toots is saying, I get frustrated with the ones that just seem to not get it. There is one now who has attended the SR meetings and I have gotten to know a bit through SR who is posting daily of their struggle. I just want to scream "do what you know you need to do, no more excuses".

But then I have been there, so I can relate.

Off to catch up some more with the SR gang, have a good one Overs!
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Old 10-25-2014, 07:04 AM
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Drake, it's a good feeling to know we can get through our low times without turning to alcohol. And each time we do make it through we are stronger for it.

I read a lot less of the newcomer posts and less here in general. I've learned so much about alcohol, drug addiction and recovery that many of the posts are just repeats of the same questions and issues. 'What do I tell my friend/mom/coworker/person when I go out and I don't to drink?' and things like that. The threads that cover new ground and that I learn from are much fewer and farther in between. And I have less of a need to put my opinion out there. Much of the time there are others that have already given great answers and I don't need to add the same thing in different words. So, between reading less and commenting less when I do read, I post much less.

I finally got a good night's sleep last night. And I was able to sleep in this morning. So I'm feeling a bit better. I really don't function very well without enough sleep. I'm heading home today. It's almost 8 hours drive time and longer if I stop to eat or anything. I've done much longer drives, but I'm still not too psyched about this one. It's a long time to spend driving. But I have good motivtaion as my house, kitties and drums await me at the end.
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Old 10-25-2014, 08:04 AM
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Well DG, as has happened in the past from time to time, I must disagree with some of what you said above. Fact is, I have found your advice to be more than slightly different on a recovery issue more than a few times. It was obvious that you were going to say what was on your mind, and yes, there were many times that your spin was far from a regurgitation . Plus, I have always admired your ability to cut to the point, be concise, and at times contrarian. I still take and most time enjoy the long way home. Also, my limited business skills were never as sharp as when I was fresh off teaching a class of fresh faced rookies at how to separate the business person from his money...kidding, at properly offering a solution to pain, or ways for them to grow their market share and profits. (yeah - right)

Hi Overs!!

I got my driver's licence back and about to enjoy some of the spoils today. Driving to meet some friends for a friendly, no scratch that, competitive game of golf on the beautiful Indian Summer day here in West-Central PA. Next week I hit the road for work again and will end the week in Columbus, where my youngest rug-rat is in grad school. We have tickets to the Ohio State game next Saturday too. So wonderful to have the ability to go and do as I please...kinda, I am still on probation and cannot leave home base for any extended period for another 6 months. Sobriety, no, Recovery is the BOMB!

Enjoy your day, Overs.

Carlos
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Old 10-25-2014, 12:31 PM
  # 333 (permalink)  
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[B]Andy wrote:[/B]“Itchy - no muffler? Was the guy a redneck? I like to tweak stuff but it has to be an improvement on the original, not just make it louder.”
Andy, yes it was owned by a redneck, and oilfield trash to boot! It’s funny but those are terms they consider to be proud of being.
Andy wrote:
On Wednesday I was trying to make a jig to do a repetitive job quicker. The arithmetic for setting up a power tool wasn't hard but it defeated me, so I thought I'll do it by hand. Finished it and went to cook our evening meal. Thursday I go to use it and discover it is too big! Puzzling what I'd done wrong I discovered I'd made a jig exactly the correct size to make the jig I needed.
Measure twice cut once?

Toots wrote:Itchy, that is one awesome picture, my eurofighter is well impressed
Nice Eurofighter shot. Makes it look so smiley, friendly!

Instant wrote:
“I cannot sing and I am struggling with the complexities of home recording, mixing etc so don't hold your breath”
Hey bud!, How many millionaire singers do you want me to point out that made it? I am no great shakes but many liked me because I “entertained.” My funny songs are talking more than singing. My guitar work was never on a par with Hendrix, but when folks are listening because they are being “entertained,” they get an impression that is greater than the sum of its parts. I can grab a crowd on stage, in a classroom, on the shooting range, or in a public crowd anywhere. Presence projected when I want, fading back when I choose. Dee and everyone who ever got on a stage or in front of a camera and felt invigorated not terrified, or uneasy, which shows, and is worse!

“I used to like reading and responding in the new comers. Lately it gives me the irks. not really sure why. Dee i am full of admiration for your work there - i think posts where the social situation, or sleep problems is seen as a justification for drinking probably do irk me the most. I need to work on acceptance and compassion

The last few springs have set off the AV but this time drinking doesnt cross my mind much- i have a lot going on and get some enjoyment in life- i know what is at stake and i am not inclined to blow it “
Instant, it is the same for me. I barely make time to come here anymore.

General comments for all here:
Many times, when I click on new posts and see the newest posts I find nothing to offer a majority of the time. I certainly can’t just go and tell the obvious ones that they need to come back when they really want to “get a life!” I do not have any problem around drinking or drinkers, but have had some folks hammer me in posts that they felt that I was not acknowledging the struggles of others. Some folks base their sobriety on the amount of positive strokes they get. In other words, after the novelty wears off for others around us, some folks get depressed because they don’t get the same kudos. And then there are the revolving doors. They get sober for a set period, then relapse after said set period. Then there are the ones preparing for a relapse WHO TALK ABOUT STRUGGLING WHEN THE STRUGGLE IS ONLY HOW LONG THEY HOLD OUT UNTIL GIVING IN. As they plan all along.

Lest anyone think me insensitive, let’s remember I’m a recovered alcoholic. It is hard being an alcoholic all the time when drinking, we just twist it 180 degrees in self-delusion. The hard part is quitting, and acknowledging that I was using drinking as an excuse to not engage life. All of us have our reasons, but they are hard to admit, especially to ourselves! Never mind the unwary who deem it their duty to show us the error of our ways, and learn that can be hazardous to their continuing a relationship with us. No one came between me and my beer! NO ONE!

I admit that it appears some folks will not let go of their awareness of their sobriety as if they were naked and trying to get used to it. In some ways we all were or are. We have to face the aftermath of every decision including the one to keep drinking long past the time we knew we were in deep, deep, trouble, just because it was easier. Most often I hear how boring they are when not drinking, and then think when they drink they become the life of the party. We all see those drinking buddies today and just shake our heads. See, no one could ever tell me I had a problem, because they were trying to come between me and my girl/buddy/family/alcohol. No one gets to my family and friends without going through me and my booze first.

Some of us are boring. Let me define boring, with the definition I wrote here several years ago:
Boredom is wanting to do something, anything, as long as you don’t have to actually do something to do it.
From about six months sober I realized that we indeed need to start with a clean slate, and here it is before us, and many times we look at the blank canvas we asked for, and we see the paints we can use and choose, and that the brushes are all cleaned and ready, but for some reason we say we can't, when won't is really the truth we need to face. I was afraid I would bung it up again.
Boredom comes from not picking up the brush and beginning to paint, when we asked for a blank canvas. The alcoholic canvas is done, painted, painting it over and over is what is boring.
I have decided the blank canvas shows me to have been, and now must decide what to be. I am not a world class performer. Nor do I possess the perfect body/looks/possessions/relationships/job/retirement/intelligence. Nor am I stupid, because we all know you can’t teach stupid. And I am willing to learn to accept myself sober.
By my own hand, just as I drank.


Dee wrote:It can take a while to find the right line up Instant - musos tend to have pretty healthy egos - and it can take a while to get used to recording etc - but you will, mate...if I can do it anyone canAmen Dee, you de man! Yeah!

Drake wrote:
Just joking about the chip, sorry to get anyone concerned! I don't think Derek even knew what I was talking about!
Drake, I am sure Derek did not know what you were talking about eh Dee?

DG wrote:Itchy- Glad to hear you're enjoying the bald head.
I took it one step further. I shaved my face too yesterday just for a lark. It does the same as coloring hair does for others, the lack of gray makes the years fade away.
I’m sure you will be glad to be home!

Drake wrote:I am a baldy Itchy, been so for over 4 years now. I had so little left it was the natural thing to do. Once upon a time, I had a jungle... but that lasted till my 30's. Son is going the route it seems.

Drake I have a full head of steel gray hair and a full beard and ‘stache. My youngest son, now 38 was bald by age 19. If he didn’t look my spitting image, I’d have done paternity tests! I was full on salt and pepper by age 30 though. Drake you sound like you are a fellow Boomer! I was born in ’52, you?

Zippy wrote:
dee, you might consider getting a nose job?
Zipster! You should talk, you might consider just getting a nose!

Dee said: “The site is massively bigger than it was when I started here. I could read everything then - family and friends included. That's just not possible now.”

Dee, I can’t keep up with this one thread! I used to try to do 2 but gave up. It used to be Whiners and here, then HATZ and here, and now barely here. But when I feel a bit down, or needing a break myself, I can always come here and to the new posts, and feel of some value to help others get free too.

Carlos wrote:
Well DG, as has happened in the past from time to time, I must disagree with some of what you said above. Fact is, I have found your advice to be more than slightly different on a recovery issue more than a few times. It was obvious that you were going to say what was on your mind, and yes, there were many times that your spin was far from a regurgitation . Plus, I have always admired your ability to cut to the point, be concise, and at times contrarian. I still take and most time enjoy the long way home. Also, my limited business skills were never as sharp as when I was fresh off teaching a class of fresh faced rookies at how to separate the business person from his money...kidding, at properly offering a solution to pain, or ways for them to grow their market share and profits. (yeah - right)

"Hi Overs!!

I got my driver's licence back and about to enjoy some of the spoils today. Driving to meet some friends for a friendly, no scratch that, competitive game of golf on the beautiful Indian Summer day here in West-Central PA. Next week I hit the road for work again and will end the week in Columbus, where my youngest rug-rat is in grad school. We have tickets to the Ohio State game next Saturday too. So wonderful to have the ability to go and do as I please...kinda, I am still on probation and cannot leave home base for any extended period for another 6 months. Sobriety, no, Recovery is the BOMB!"


Carlos I agree completely about DG and others here adding some Lagniappe to the threads we choose to participate in.
Congrats on getting yer driving perquisites back! Recovery is indeed the bomb, second only to seeing a friend make that transition.
Aha! Caught up now I am! As Yoda would say. Me, I have to go see my in laws as my MIL has cancer as I said, and yesterday I shaved off my goatee and ‘stache! I am hairless from the neck up! Amazing how different I look with no gray! And I am even more in solidarity with her. Gotta go and early vote too!

Happy you must all be!
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Old 10-25-2014, 04:27 PM
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Both Itchy's and my given name is Derek, but lets not confuse things further itch

D
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Old 10-25-2014, 05:41 PM
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the old sniffer still works itch! lol
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Old 10-25-2014, 05:59 PM
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Yeah even I got confuzzled a bit too many Dereks in the mix!

I am a boomer, Itchy but a bit later born in 57.
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Old 10-25-2014, 09:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Both Itchy's and my given name is Derek, but lets not confuse things further itch

D
Oh the temptation to start calling you Del Boy! Andy for sure will understand, I'm not sure how far across the planet 'Only Fools and Horses' travelled, but it was a classic british sit com. It probably needed sub titles!

Well I just travelled 500 miles on a train with a stomach bug. Not my happiest journey, thank goodness I have the best behaved dog on the planet ( well trained by yours truly of course). We are home now and I am still feeling icky and having not eaten for 36 hours I feel hungry but want to wait for 48 hours before trying eating. At least I've hooked my ipad to my phone hotspot so I can now use it instead to post.

Itchy I took that photo specially because the plane looked so goofy and happy! We were at the annual air show at Leuchars, just around the corner from where we live. I love air shows, I think my favourite plane is the old Vulcan, a Delta Wing. Then again the Harrier with VTOL was an innovation in its time and the immensity of an Antonov.... And of course the close formation of the Red Arrows display team really do take some beating.

DG safe travels sweetie, 8 hours is a monotonous journey, you should get learning CDs, you could arrive home fluent in Swahili!

Drake I hope the condo issue has resolved for you and you are feeling happier sweetheart.

Carlos, how did the golf go? I hope to get a game in some time now I am home, though of course I too need a functional car to do it!

Zip I think you have a cute nose! And it's very unusual to see plaited nose hair, but it suits you!

Instant how's the bike riding coming on? I sold mine last year and now the bus timetable has changed I may need another just to get to town if I manage to get work. Grrr!

FG how are things with you? Dottie Comme ça? MB, is it a year sugar free yet?
Grace, I thought you were going to be more regular??? Do you need some AllBran? Lol seriously, I hope all is well with you. Any other Overs I haven't mentioned, apologies, the squeaky wheels get the most oil!!
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Old 10-25-2014, 09:51 PM
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LOL apart from the name and a lack of height, Del Boy and I have nothing in common Toots

I do like the nifty Robin Reliant van tho

D
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Old 10-25-2014, 10:12 PM
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Morning, evening, goodnight, haha. We've put our clocks back so that's me confused for a few days. It's 5.10 am Sunday now the clocks gone back.

I don't see this thread very often but love to read all your anecdotes.

We don't see many of those reliant robins anymore, Dee. My uncle had one years ago but, being the boy racer, if that's possible in a RR, he rolled it going round a bend and it obliterated. Him and my dad were always racing cars.haha.

Just reading itchy s post and I don't know why I'm here still visiting SR. Well, that's not true, I enjoy coming here, I want to be able to help newbies and anyone reaching out but think I've got a bit cynical. Sometimes reading too much between the lines. So I have to remind myself how delicate people are feeling.

The advice I got from Dee and many many more was so helpful when I was in despair and I guess we go through a pattern. I'm waffling so I will stop, but I'm so glad I found this site and it's like visiting friends every day. So I think I will be here for a while but I don't feel very wise, not that I'm supposed to be. Here I go again, waffling.
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Old 10-26-2014, 02:30 AM
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Good morning Overs.

Toots - Welcome home! Sorry to hear you are unwell.

Dee and RZ - thanks for all you do on SR or live!

Drake - hope you're feeling better.

DG - Glad you slept better.

Carlos - hope you had a good day with your friends.

Itchy - 'measure twice cut once' or 'I've cut it twice and it's still too short.'

Mags - I know what you mean about not feeling very wise.

We planted the first sixty Hazel trees yesterday. We averaged 90 seconds per tree and didn't feel tired. Last year we started at the rate of 1 every 30 seconds, but couldn't sustain that rate. We're planning on doing 120 tomorrow
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