Class of September 2013 - Part 25
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Originally Posted by Renarde 
Diesel, This is a crude interpretation of something I once read - something bad didn't happen every time I drank, but every time something really bad happened I had been drinking.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hi everyone, had a good weekend and a lovely day with my girls today, don't feel 100% health-wise but mentally feeling better. The past week has probably been the hardest since I quit drinking. Im glad that I have talked things through with my potential sponsor and spoke with him for an hour last night about stuff which has been on my mind- feel better for it.
My friend stayed in and drank three beers on Saturday night and one last night, I feel for him because his alcoholism hasn't developed as much as mine has and he's giving it another go,he's hoping self knowledge and his fitness regime will keep him in line, I know I cannot moderate and have to be honest with myself that 'a' beer would turn into a binge. My other friend called me drunk last night but didn't mention it, and I didn't ask them about it- I just have to believe that for me ive had enough and it wouldn't make my life any better.
That place you're going looks great Fish, hope you enjoy some relaxing time there.
My friend stayed in and drank three beers on Saturday night and one last night, I feel for him because his alcoholism hasn't developed as much as mine has and he's giving it another go,he's hoping self knowledge and his fitness regime will keep him in line, I know I cannot moderate and have to be honest with myself that 'a' beer would turn into a binge. My other friend called me drunk last night but didn't mention it, and I didn't ask them about it- I just have to believe that for me ive had enough and it wouldn't make my life any better.
That place you're going looks great Fish, hope you enjoy some relaxing time there.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Hi everyone, had a good weekend and a lovely day with my girls today, don't feel 100% health-wise but mentally feeling better. The past week has probably been the hardest since I quit drinking.
....
I just have to believe that for me ive had enough and it wouldn't make my life any better.
....
I just have to believe that for me ive had enough and it wouldn't make my life any better.
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by 1stepup
he's giving it another go,he's hoping self knowledge and his fitness regime will keep him in line, I know I cannot moderate and have to be honest with myself that 'a' beer would turn into a binge. My other friend called me drunk last night but didn't mention it, and I didn't ask them about it- I just have to believe that for me ive had enough and it wouldn't make my life any better.
What you said about self knowledge struck a cord for me, as I just read the passages below (part of the chapter "More About Alcoholism" in the Big Book) YESTERDAY with my sponsor. They used italics in 1939 when the Big Book was originally printed to emphasize the most important points, as italics were more expensive to print:
"But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened."
"That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience."
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
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Originally Posted by rochele
Brooksie, Happy Black History Month to you! Will you enjoy some events in celebration? I imagine there will be lots going on in NYC for that.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
Made it to my cabin in Bat cave and got a surprise there was a bucket of champagne on the kitchen table ugh ugh ugh .... Why does fate always have to mess with me. Did go on a nice little walk along the creek I'm just going to try to unwind this week before I go I'm having some good reflecting time no urges except the urge to get in the hot tub... I put the champagne out there where the bears can find it
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
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I think I'm gonna go sit over here by the fireplace bring me a cup of cocoa and read a book about world war 2 that mentions my grandfather and great uncle. The book is titled the mighty eighth.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 464
Wanted to share a moving read....
A Note About Philip Seymour Hoffman: Addiction Is Not Selfish. | The Electric Feast
A Note About Philip Seymour Hoffman: Addiction Is Not Selfish. | The Electric Feast
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Good night, all. Hoping to get more sleep tonight as I'm on the tail end of the meds for the wheezing. One of the side effects is insomnia and the last few nights have left me exhausted. Good thing we had a snow day, because I got to take a 3 hour nap. I can't usually sleep during the day, but I was OUT.
Anyway... I'll check in at some point tomorrow.
Bye!
Anyway... I'll check in at some point tomorrow.
Bye!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
BLKDiesel:
I'm not sure how you can say it was moderate drinking with no repercussions....
...Especially when you continually repeat in your post about "craving" alcohol already (the next day),
..... and you're ruminating about alcohol,
.... and imagining the alcohol,
.....and asking for help with the alcohol......
It sounds like your four beers actually did quite a number on your head and body...
as you're already making drinking the center of your thinking.
Just know, all that stuff you wrote, is ALL your Addiction's voice, and not you.
And don't let your addiction try and tell you otherwise.
I'm not sure how you can say it was moderate drinking with no repercussions....
...Especially when you continually repeat in your post about "craving" alcohol already (the next day),
..... and you're ruminating about alcohol,
.... and imagining the alcohol,
.....and asking for help with the alcohol......
It sounds like your four beers actually did quite a number on your head and body...
as you're already making drinking the center of your thinking.
Just know, all that stuff you wrote, is ALL your Addiction's voice, and not you.
And don't let your addiction try and tell you otherwise.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,021
Originally Posted by Br00ksie
I will add that whenever a person "slips," it usually starts with a few beers but a few beers very quickly turns into beers and a mixed drink, then more mixed drinks and then the whole moderation factor goes out the window.
It is the obsession of EVERY alcoholic to want to be able to drink moderately. But we can't. One good night does not equal being able to moderate.
Someone without a drinking problem would not think to buy alcohol in a snow storm just because they are bored. Most likely because a normal person doesn't feel the need to go out in a snow storm and buy alcohol.
I appreciate your honesty and say all of this, not out of judgment but because I relate to and have experienced everything you're talking about.
If you think you can drink moderately today, test it out. See how long you're able to moderate before old behaviors resume.
Or, don't get the beer. Chalk yesterday up to good fortune and drink some tea. Have a nice, sober afternoon and watch a movie or read and enjoy a nice sober afternoon which will guarantee no hangover in the morning!
It is the obsession of EVERY alcoholic to want to be able to drink moderately. But we can't. One good night does not equal being able to moderate.
Someone without a drinking problem would not think to buy alcohol in a snow storm just because they are bored. Most likely because a normal person doesn't feel the need to go out in a snow storm and buy alcohol.
I appreciate your honesty and say all of this, not out of judgment but because I relate to and have experienced everything you're talking about.
If you think you can drink moderately today, test it out. See how long you're able to moderate before old behaviors resume.
Or, don't get the beer. Chalk yesterday up to good fortune and drink some tea. Have a nice, sober afternoon and watch a movie or read and enjoy a nice sober afternoon which will guarantee no hangover in the morning!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I feel great no hangover, no craziness and feeling very "present" this morning all in all a great morning but there is a little guilt and a craving for a couple of beers but I think I'm thinking out of my heart and not my head more than anything and I need some input folks......PLEASE ADVISE!!!
Originally Posted by Dee74
'At Least I didn't get drunk'
It seems I'm seeing people saying this more and more often here these days....
I've actually been waiting for a day when I haven't seen it here, so I can post this and not have people think I'm picking on them...
but everyday I see some one post saying 'hey I drank, but at least I didn't get drunk'
I understand to a certain extent because I used to do the same.
When I was trying to get a handle on my drinking, not getting drunk was an achievement, a victory - it was hope to me, somewhere deep in me, that hey maybe I could control my drinking whenever I wanted....at the very least it was proof I was 'getting better'...
If I really looked back at my history I'd have seen the times when I drank 'like a gentleman' were the rare exception, not the rule.
I had 100s, maybe 1000s, of times where I got wasted and embarrassed or hurt myself or others - but I'd always go back to those handful of times where I'd had a glass or two and 'nothing happened'.
I really wanted to be a normal drinker, so I guess it's not surprising I clung to those few nights....but I'd always return to my normal pattern of drinking.
Looking back now, the truth was I was a blackout alcoholic drinker who sometimes had a 'normal' drinking experience - it was blind luck, not good management.
Please don't fall for the same lies I did for all those years.
Alcohol and I have a disastrous relationship. My drinking caused me immense pain and suffering, and it damn near destroyed me and all I loved....
if I drink - even one or two glasses - it's anything but a triumph.
D
It seems I'm seeing people saying this more and more often here these days....
I've actually been waiting for a day when I haven't seen it here, so I can post this and not have people think I'm picking on them...
but everyday I see some one post saying 'hey I drank, but at least I didn't get drunk'
I understand to a certain extent because I used to do the same.
When I was trying to get a handle on my drinking, not getting drunk was an achievement, a victory - it was hope to me, somewhere deep in me, that hey maybe I could control my drinking whenever I wanted....at the very least it was proof I was 'getting better'...
If I really looked back at my history I'd have seen the times when I drank 'like a gentleman' were the rare exception, not the rule.
I had 100s, maybe 1000s, of times where I got wasted and embarrassed or hurt myself or others - but I'd always go back to those handful of times where I'd had a glass or two and 'nothing happened'.
I really wanted to be a normal drinker, so I guess it's not surprising I clung to those few nights....but I'd always return to my normal pattern of drinking.
Looking back now, the truth was I was a blackout alcoholic drinker who sometimes had a 'normal' drinking experience - it was blind luck, not good management.
Please don't fall for the same lies I did for all those years.
Alcohol and I have a disastrous relationship. My drinking caused me immense pain and suffering, and it damn near destroyed me and all I loved....
if I drink - even one or two glasses - it's anything but a triumph.
D
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by kellbell123
Wanted to share a moving read....
A Note About Philip Seymour Hoffman: Addiction Is Not Selfish. | The Electric Feast
A Note About Philip Seymour Hoffman: Addiction Is Not Selfish. | The Electric Feast
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
Originally Posted by GotGrace
Hey BLK. As I was reading the first half of your post the phrase "slippery slope" popped into my mind. Then you used that exact phrase. That is exactly what you are on. I have a feeling you have tried to moderate before because just about anyone with an alcohol problem has tried desperately to be a normal drinker. How did that work for you? I think if any of us was good at moderating we wouldn't be here in the first place.
You kept a lid on it last night which is a blessing. You are feeling good today and so your AV is capitalizing on that. Don't be fooled. Make some plans for this evening that preclude alcohol. Go to a movie, have a sober friend over, I can't remember if you go to AA but hit a meeting if you do.
Don't pick up. You know where it will end.
Keep checking in and let us know how we can help!
You kept a lid on it last night which is a blessing. You are feeling good today and so your AV is capitalizing on that. Don't be fooled. Make some plans for this evening that preclude alcohol. Go to a movie, have a sober friend over, I can't remember if you go to AA but hit a meeting if you do.
Don't pick up. You know where it will end.
Keep checking in and let us know how we can help!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
Originally Posted by Br00ksie
I will add that whenever a person "slips," it usually starts with a few beers but a few beers very quickly turns into beers and a mixed drink, then more mixed drinks and then the whole moderation factor goes out the window.
It is the obsession of EVERY alcoholic to want to be able to drink moderately. But we can't. One good night does not equal being able to moderate.
Someone without a drinking problem would not think to buy alcohol in a snow storm just because they are bored. Most likely because a normal person doesn't feel the need to go out in a snow storm and buy alcohol.
I appreciate your honesty and say all of this, not out of judgment but because I relate to and have experienced everything you're talking about.
If you think you can drink moderately today, test it out. See how long you're able to moderate before old behaviors resume.
Or, don't get the beer. Chalk yesterday up to good fortune and drink some tea. Have a nice, sober afternoon and watch a movie or read and enjoy a nice sober afternoon which will guarantee no hangover in the morning!
It is the obsession of EVERY alcoholic to want to be able to drink moderately. But we can't. One good night does not equal being able to moderate.
Someone without a drinking problem would not think to buy alcohol in a snow storm just because they are bored. Most likely because a normal person doesn't feel the need to go out in a snow storm and buy alcohol.
I appreciate your honesty and say all of this, not out of judgment but because I relate to and have experienced everything you're talking about.
If you think you can drink moderately today, test it out. See how long you're able to moderate before old behaviors resume.
Or, don't get the beer. Chalk yesterday up to good fortune and drink some tea. Have a nice, sober afternoon and watch a movie or read and enjoy a nice sober afternoon which will guarantee no hangover in the morning!
I also had on my task list a music project to work on and in the past I would have a couple of lite beers as I worked on my music being that the projects are quite long and arduous hence wanting to go out in the snow and purchase some beer being that I was going to be house bound.
I did feel a little guilty and quite "off" yesterday and didn't like the not being fully present feeling. But I didnt fall prey to the AV and worked on the project with a half gallon of water and went to bed quite early. Thanks for your honest input as usual.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
Originally Posted by Renarde
Diesel, This is a crude interpretation of something I once read - something bad didn't happen every time I drank, but every time something really bad happened I had been drinking.
One night without a blackout does not a non-alcoholic make. And today here comes the itch for more. What will happen if you start making allowances for yourself and bargaining and rationalizing why you can or should drink? That's a genuine question.
A couple of thoughts. One, bringing alcohol as a hostess gift is probably not a healthy choice for an alcoholic trying to stay sober.
Two, maybe around 30 days dry you are not ready for events where people are going to be drinking like that.
My last thought is that maybe you need a new game plan for around the 30 day mark.
One night without a blackout does not a non-alcoholic make. And today here comes the itch for more. What will happen if you start making allowances for yourself and bargaining and rationalizing why you can or should drink? That's a genuine question.
A couple of thoughts. One, bringing alcohol as a hostess gift is probably not a healthy choice for an alcoholic trying to stay sober.
Two, maybe around 30 days dry you are not ready for events where people are going to be drinking like that.
My last thought is that maybe you need a new game plan for around the 30 day mark.
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