Class of March 2012 Part 7
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Hey Leezer! How are you doing? I am doing well considering the way the lasy year has went. I lost my job, basically I was forced out by a girl who was complaining about me, who also happens to be having an affair with the boss. It wasn't one I could win and I had been miserable there for so long. I ended up with a settlement agreement so got a bit of money and a good reference, I work as a mental health support worker now and in a domestic violence refuge. I was lucky in that I had been volunteering for years so had a bit if experience to back my applications up. I am just building on that now working ridiculous hours but I am loving it. I feel appreciated where I work now and don't have any drama to deal with, well, not from staff anyway.
I had a proper lapse with smoking, I have been smoking again for the last year I think. But still sober. I think the stress just got to me and I fell back on old coping strategies. I am still with the same counsellor which has been incredibly helpful. My confidence is so much higher than it was a few years ago. I feel like a totally different person. It's been over 4 years since I had a drink, still get the occasional urge but that option is just not on the table anymore. Seriously thinking about giving up smoking now too. I need to change my lifestyle still a bit. I have put on a lot of weight and am quite unfit, apart from all the dog walking. I have two dogs now who are my total heroes
They keep me smiling every day even if there isn't much else to smile about
Hope you are all doing okay.
How are you INH?
I had a proper lapse with smoking, I have been smoking again for the last year I think. But still sober. I think the stress just got to me and I fell back on old coping strategies. I am still with the same counsellor which has been incredibly helpful. My confidence is so much higher than it was a few years ago. I feel like a totally different person. It's been over 4 years since I had a drink, still get the occasional urge but that option is just not on the table anymore. Seriously thinking about giving up smoking now too. I need to change my lifestyle still a bit. I have put on a lot of weight and am quite unfit, apart from all the dog walking. I have two dogs now who are my total heroes
They keep me smiling every day even if there isn't much else to smile about Hope you are all doing okay.
How are you INH?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Hey guys. Just thought I would post here again, I know it's quiet but things are **** for me at the moment and this is where I track the shitness of life 
I hop you are all still around somewhere and doing okay.
I have been doing pretty well, My work has been going well, but I nearly burnt myself out doing 66 hour weeks for about 3 months. That wasn't so smart. I have cut it back now as I am studying again, last year of my oh so long English degree and I have just started a diploma in Health and Social care. I have a band now which I am not sure if I mentioned before and that has provided me with another social outlet, and I got another dog who is officially the love of my life.
On the downside I split from my partner. Well this is happening right now and even though we still live together I haven't spoke to him about it yet. It has been up and down for a while. Since he moved in with me he has been smoking weed more and more, pretty much every day. It started of with him saying he wouldn't smoke around me to this. I guess I feel cheated a bit. But it makes him unable to function. He is lazy around the house and I said from day one that we would have to share the housework etc. I had spoke to him about it loads of times saying he either made an effort or think about whether he wanted to be here and the last time I brought it up he said he was gonna move out. Initially I felt really positive about it. I haven't been 100% on this relationship for a while but on the other side I am actually really sad and terrified of being all alone again. And that isn't a dramatic exaggeration, it will be just me and the dogs. Zero friends and an unsupportive family. Because of my job change I have less money and cos I work long hours I will need to pay a dog sitter every time I go to work. I am basically gonna be broke. I will lose the rent my partner paid me and my current wage is nearly half of what I was on before. I own my own ****** house which is slowly falling apart and I will never be able to get things fixed. Plus owning property means I couldn't get housing benefit if I lost my job. I can't work in the refuge any more as that is 16 hour shifts and would need someone to be with the dogs. I can't lose them as they are my life and I don't think I could cope here without them. I pretty much need to find another job, but without driving my choices are limited. Plus I cut back my hours for studying. I guess I just have way too much on at the moment to emotionally process this.
I hope everyone else is doing okay x
I hop you are all still around somewhere and doing okay.I have been doing pretty well, My work has been going well, but I nearly burnt myself out doing 66 hour weeks for about 3 months. That wasn't so smart. I have cut it back now as I am studying again, last year of my oh so long English degree and I have just started a diploma in Health and Social care. I have a band now which I am not sure if I mentioned before and that has provided me with another social outlet, and I got another dog who is officially the love of my life.
On the downside I split from my partner. Well this is happening right now and even though we still live together I haven't spoke to him about it yet. It has been up and down for a while. Since he moved in with me he has been smoking weed more and more, pretty much every day. It started of with him saying he wouldn't smoke around me to this. I guess I feel cheated a bit. But it makes him unable to function. He is lazy around the house and I said from day one that we would have to share the housework etc. I had spoke to him about it loads of times saying he either made an effort or think about whether he wanted to be here and the last time I brought it up he said he was gonna move out. Initially I felt really positive about it. I haven't been 100% on this relationship for a while but on the other side I am actually really sad and terrified of being all alone again. And that isn't a dramatic exaggeration, it will be just me and the dogs. Zero friends and an unsupportive family. Because of my job change I have less money and cos I work long hours I will need to pay a dog sitter every time I go to work. I am basically gonna be broke. I will lose the rent my partner paid me and my current wage is nearly half of what I was on before. I own my own ****** house which is slowly falling apart and I will never be able to get things fixed. Plus owning property means I couldn't get housing benefit if I lost my job. I can't work in the refuge any more as that is 16 hour shifts and would need someone to be with the dogs. I can't lose them as they are my life and I don't think I could cope here without them. I pretty much need to find another job, but without driving my choices are limited. Plus I cut back my hours for studying. I guess I just have way too much on at the moment to emotionally process this.
I hope everyone else is doing okay x
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I'm glad to see you Hypo - sorry about the changes in your life tho. Sounds like you're getting a little overwhelmed with thinking into the future.
Maybe something as simple as getting a roomie in could at least help with the rent, the dogs and the social interaction?
D
Maybe something as simple as getting a roomie in could at least help with the rent, the dogs and the social interaction?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I would Dee but the house is in no state to take a lodger. The spare room is full of crap, you can't use the taps in the bathroom and the rooms haven't even been decorated yet. I know my time has been taken up with my recovery, losing my job and studying but my house really is a joke. On the plus side, if I can hold down a job through all this it is my house. The mortgage is a lot cheaper than rent, but then I am gonna have to find money to fix things. I am projecting a lot, and I know this yet another transitional period for me but it just feels like too much at the moment. It takes a lot for me to acknowledge any emotional response to a situation so in a way I am growing as a person I am hoping one day to have a calm stress free life...
Thanks for responding. How are things with you? x
I am hoping one day to have a calm stress free life...Thanks for responding. How are things with you? x
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I'm doing well thanks Hypo
I dunno - I've lived in some pretty funky places as a student LOL.
I hope things will turn out better than you fear - and I hope maybe other people reading might have ideas too and chime in to help
D
I dunno - I've lived in some pretty funky places as a student LOL.
I hope things will turn out better than you fear - and I hope maybe other people reading might have ideas too and chime in to help
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Hi all, just checking in again. In the end I never split up with my partner. He had being having a rough time at work and he ended up apologising. Things still aren't great. We both work a lot of hours and hardly see one another but it's what is right for us at this time. He still spokes too much weed and has been taking coke alot too. He hid this for ages, then said he quit but hadn't... it's an ongoing issue. I would feel hypocritical dumping him over this (and also all the above issues are stopping me, plus I do kinda like him) and am just being supportive till he gets it together enough to quit, which he does say he wants to do sometimes. We'll see.
My major stress at the mo is having to reapply for my job. I was on a temporary contract covering sick leave and now the person I was covering has left. It's a really precarious situation. Shortlisting happens next week and interviews are on friday. There is no guarantee I would get it and I panicked a bit at the start of my notice period and applied to two more jobs. I got offered both on a relief basis so hopefully I should be okay for work if I don't get it. It will just be extra chaotic for a while. If I did get the job it would give me a bit of stability and I could cut back on my other relief work a bit as I have always kept that up in case I lost this job...
On the plus side, still sober. Still smoking but will tackle this when all this dies down...
Hope everyone is doing well xxx
My major stress at the mo is having to reapply for my job. I was on a temporary contract covering sick leave and now the person I was covering has left. It's a really precarious situation. Shortlisting happens next week and interviews are on friday. There is no guarantee I would get it and I panicked a bit at the start of my notice period and applied to two more jobs. I got offered both on a relief basis so hopefully I should be okay for work if I don't get it. It will just be extra chaotic for a while. If I did get the job it would give me a bit of stability and I could cut back on my other relief work a bit as I have always kept that up in case I lost this job...
On the plus side, still sober. Still smoking but will tackle this when all this dies down...
Hope everyone is doing well xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
I have this habit- hyp. of just clicking on anything with March on the title. So far- am welcome in 2 other years 92016 mine0. I hope you are okay - remember stress takes hold when not paying attention to the HALTS but.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,068
I'm here!
Hey guys.
Just popped back to see how you're all doing and delighted to see some familiar names.
I'm still here and still sober thanks to AA and this wonderful site.
How's everyone doing?
Anyone still about here?
Just popped back to see how you're all doing and delighted to see some familiar names.
I'm still here and still sober thanks to AA and this wonderful site.
How's everyone doing?
Anyone still about here?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Hi everyone, Not sure if anyone from this group will still be on here but just popped in because I am writing a blog on recovery and wanted to read some of my old posts. It is incredibly useful having all this to look back on.
Just a quick update from me. I think next Feb I will be 10 years sober. Still totally fine on that front and hardly think about it at all. I am still with my partner - he eventually left to work in another area and eventually admitted he needed to do this to get away from his dealer because he had developed a coke habit. He has stopped that completely now but still smokes weed but nowhere near as bad as he did. Our relationship is much better now we don't live together. Apart from his drug use I think I really struggled with our relationship to start off with because I had only ever had abusive relationships before. I am still smoking but in my defence the last how ever many years were really stressful on a work front. After my last update, I got the job, but one month later the council withdrew 50% of our funding - we all I ended up having to reapply for our jobs - again! They changed the shift patterns to 8 hours and we lost one of the houses which was closer to my home so I would have had to pay more for transport and dogsitters. It was around this time my partner got a job out of area so basically I couldn't work night shifts anymore so I ended up getting a job working with victims of crime which I loved but the pay was horrendous. Racked up a fair amount of debt just trying to live but I was more or less happy. I stopped seeing my counsellor because I couldn't afford it and walked to work because I couldn't afford the bus. After a year of this I applied for a job in the civil service and this was the best move I ever made. I loved the work and was appreciated in a way I never have been in the workplace before. I got a promotion a year later and am now on the same money I used to get in my old job. I actually have savings now! House is still a mess but I reckon in a few years I will have enough money to do some work on it. Oh and the dogs are still with me
I hope everyone is doing okay.
Just a quick update from me. I think next Feb I will be 10 years sober. Still totally fine on that front and hardly think about it at all. I am still with my partner - he eventually left to work in another area and eventually admitted he needed to do this to get away from his dealer because he had developed a coke habit. He has stopped that completely now but still smokes weed but nowhere near as bad as he did. Our relationship is much better now we don't live together. Apart from his drug use I think I really struggled with our relationship to start off with because I had only ever had abusive relationships before. I am still smoking but in my defence the last how ever many years were really stressful on a work front. After my last update, I got the job, but one month later the council withdrew 50% of our funding - we all I ended up having to reapply for our jobs - again! They changed the shift patterns to 8 hours and we lost one of the houses which was closer to my home so I would have had to pay more for transport and dogsitters. It was around this time my partner got a job out of area so basically I couldn't work night shifts anymore so I ended up getting a job working with victims of crime which I loved but the pay was horrendous. Racked up a fair amount of debt just trying to live but I was more or less happy. I stopped seeing my counsellor because I couldn't afford it and walked to work because I couldn't afford the bus. After a year of this I applied for a job in the civil service and this was the best move I ever made. I loved the work and was appreciated in a way I never have been in the workplace before. I got a promotion a year later and am now on the same money I used to get in my old job. I actually have savings now! House is still a mess but I reckon in a few years I will have enough money to do some work on it. Oh and the dogs are still with me
I hope everyone is doing okay.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hey Hypo, how lovely to see you pop back here again.
All well with me too. I will be 6 years sober in Feb, and like you I don’t think about drinking any more. I’m about to start my 4th and final year of studying to become a counsellor for children and young people which has been a very enlightening journey for me leading to lots of personal growth. I’m still working in school leadership for 3 days a week, and combining the 2 roles has been extremely hard at times. I will retire from my school job in just under 3 years time, and I am looking forward to a simpler life ahead.
My kids have both left home, and my Mum has been living with us for the past 5 months. She was finding it increasingly hard to manage living alone, and had a big house to maintain. We’ve found her a little place now and she will be moving out in the next few weeks.
Life is good when I remember to focus on the positives, and live in the moment, and I’m getting so much better at that.
I hope all is well with everyone else ❤️
All well with me too. I will be 6 years sober in Feb, and like you I don’t think about drinking any more. I’m about to start my 4th and final year of studying to become a counsellor for children and young people which has been a very enlightening journey for me leading to lots of personal growth. I’m still working in school leadership for 3 days a week, and combining the 2 roles has been extremely hard at times. I will retire from my school job in just under 3 years time, and I am looking forward to a simpler life ahead.
My kids have both left home, and my Mum has been living with us for the past 5 months. She was finding it increasingly hard to manage living alone, and had a big house to maintain. We’ve found her a little place now and she will be moving out in the next few weeks.
Life is good when I remember to focus on the positives, and live in the moment, and I’m getting so much better at that.
I hope all is well with everyone else ❤️
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
