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Class of March 2012 Part 7

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Old 12-01-2013, 03:24 PM
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Three of you in one place...: LOL

D
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Old 12-01-2013, 04:12 PM
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Haha, we're not that scary Dee!

What a fab day It was lovely to meet you both. And INH, if you ever get to the UK again...! You have your own little British fan club x
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Old 12-01-2013, 04:24 PM
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I'll remember that, if'in I ever head your way again I will be sure to let you all know. I doubt I ever will but it could happen.

Either way I'm glad you all enjoyed yourselves.
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Old 12-01-2013, 10:01 PM
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Ha ha Dee you cheeky bugger!!

Yes, all three of us in one place...and it was still standing when we left. Thanks girls...I had the best time.

And Hypo wasn't joking about your fan club INH...

Have a good day everyone xxx
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Old 12-07-2013, 12:48 AM
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Hey everyone... How are you all doing. Just thought I'd bump us back up to page one (Yup it's me that doesn't like being on page 2 INH ).

Nothing much to report here. I am off to see family today and tomorrow which is potentially stressful but I am sure I'll cope. Work is seemingly fine at the mo but I am expecting a sh*t storm anytime now. Know my boss wants to talk to me about something but he hasn't said what.

Hope you are all well xxx
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Old 12-07-2013, 01:01 AM
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I'm good thanks Hypo. Can't believe we slipped to page 2...that's outrageous!!

No projecting about what your boss wants to speak to you about...he could be wanting to give you a Christmas bonus! Xxx

How are you INH?

Hope the family visit goes well. I'm seeing my Mum and sister for some Christmas shopping tomorrow. That has potential too..my sis is very outspoken and my Mum is very anxious. I do my peacemaking bit very frequently but I'm totally stepping away from that role now. I am not worrying about it.

Have a good weekend guys. Lots of love to you all xxx
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Old 12-08-2013, 03:10 AM
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It was awesome!!! So ******* special to see you guys. LDT thought it was hilarious we met up in a pub, she's still giggling about it now

Can't wait for the next one. It was stupidly good to get to actually hug you guys.

I've spent the week with flu, falling asleep on the floor wrapped in a blankie with QI reruns on Netflix. It would have been pretty cool if it wasn't for all the emails from work telling me everything that was going wrong with my job, in real time, as it was happening. But I still get a kick out of not drinking through flu - it kills me now that we used to do that.

INH, we love our furniture. At the age of 37 I actually have real furniture, not inherited, stick-it-in-a-bedsit crap. It's a big deal!

Me and the H have got a busy day planned today - we've got 2 flourless chocolate cake recipes to try out (yes, that will involve cooking and eating 2 chocolate cakes, what of it?) and then we're trying to get past the next bit in Batman on the PS3 because I've finally upgraded my SNES.

Fun times!

Love you all xxxxx
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Old 12-08-2013, 03:28 PM
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Sorry you haven't been well Hux. Hugs xxx I need to learn to bake seeing as there are very few shop bought things I can eat now. I want to make stuff for my music group as the a few of them are gluten free too. But in reality I will probably post that I made cake in about a years time... I got some recipes from an ace vegan place in Manchester (apparently I am not the only vegan in the north Hux ) so I will have to now.

Well the family visit was okay. But my mum is nuts. I got a bit paranoid because she completely shut off everytime I spoke to her, until I realised that it was because she was just really anxious. My whole family seem to live in this constant state of anxiety. But my mum is quite irrational and tend to focus on things that upset her. Like she got a bee in her bonnet that there were no pictures of her in my sisters house, which personally I think is an odd thing to notice. It isn't like there are family portraits and hers is missing, just a few scrappy pics here and there. But there was a collage someone did and all of the family are in it but her. So she was upset and there was no telling her otherwise. I guess I know where my tendency to focus on the negative comes from. But as she drank more she became more and more obsessed with it and had this edge, boy do I not miss that. She hadn't drank much, maybe a bottle of wine but I just know that any amount of alcohol just makes bad feelings worse.

I am glad to be home now but my boiler is broken. Little things like this tend to make me a bit hyper anxious. I am not sure where to fit these things in. I will have to wait at home some time to get it fixed and I have already managed to go over my holidays this year, which also means January I will be a bit skint. Hey ho.

That's my mini rant. Hope everyone else is doing well x
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Old 12-13-2013, 09:56 PM
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Hey ladies (and Dee),

How's it going all? Things have been a bit slow around here and I am probably more to blame for that than anyone. I think the last time I posted anything significant was a couple of weeks ago.

Right now I'm sitting in the nearest sushi place there is to me waiting on a ridiculously large order of sushi. What I'm about to get would probably feed three people . I will end up with a lot of leftovers and I know it.

Hypo, that doesn't sound like all that much fun but family rarely is. I know I have been observed myself the tendency of a drunk to focus on one subject to the extreme annoyance of everyone else. Good luck with the baking, its something I want to explore as well but haven't yet either. I am thinking i might (huge might) try to start bring fresh baked whatever's to my meeting. If nothing else it would provide me with an opportunity to experiment.

Hux, I hope the cakes were good. I would so be down to get you and your husband through that level. My sister used to often and still does from time to time get stuck on a game and has me beat it for her whenever I am around.

Sorry Jen I'm typing on my phone which doesn't afford me the opportunity to go back and read your last post again while drafting a post of my own.

For my life, the cheating scandal kinda exploded for a day, then imploded immedioutly after that lol. Basically they said they were going to put the whole class back three months and our class said "********". There are measures one can take when they have a grievance with their command and several of the class did just that. So the next morning they came back with their minds changed upon seeing our resolve to not just put up with it. They have made one or two changes to make the class more difficult but that's fine so long as we graduate on time.

Things have gone for me pretty much normal otherwise. I go to work/class, then a meeting then home and sleep, rinse wash repeat. I did get some presents for when I go home, my cousin has kids that I've never met (a 1st cousins kids are second cousins right?). So I bought them some toys. I also bought a game for the adults that I love! If you all are interested you should check out "cards against humanity, a party game for horrible people". Its hilarious in the absolute worst way. Hux I definitely think you would dig it.

Other than that not much has transpired. For randomness sake, have played that Uber nerdy starwars game a few more times. I am thinking about hiring someone to just clean my place for me, but I probably won't do it. Ummmmmm, what else...... I guess that's about it for now.

Have a good one all!
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:05 PM
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doing OK INH - the busy time of the year here tho - I have to try and keep the balance right....

Hope you have a great home Christmas

D
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:40 PM
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Hi guys...yeah Dee, I guess this must be the busiest time for you. Christmas can bring out the latent alcoholic in many of us. Hope you manage to get that balance and have a stress free Christmas yourself too xxx

I'm good thanks INH. I've got bad at posting here and on my May thread too. To be honest, I am just too busy nowadays. I used to literally spend hours on SR every day, but I just can't do it any more. I guess that's a positive in some ways...I obviously don't need that same level of support..after almost 19 months I guess that I'm letting go just a little. Learning to walk without Dee holding my hand (lol).

Life is good. Work is really busy...lots of hyper kids and worn out staff. I'm a lot more confident at work these days, not so anxious. I've lost a lot of that fear generally that used to rule my life. Things are a lot more simple you could say. I'm calm for the most part and just got better at not letting things get to me.

Christmas will be at my parents. I was dreading that last year...now I'm not. Think I've finally got that detachment thing sussed. Hopefully...

Lots of love to all on our March thread xxx
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Old 12-15-2013, 01:08 AM
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Hello beautiful people!

It's been all sorts down here. Like Jen I've been so busy it's making my ears bleed and last week especially was BRUTAL and for the first time since my well-documented relapse I really thought about drinking. Didn't come close but wanted it. I did quite a lot of reading here even though I was too tired to post much but it really helped. It's crazy seeing what the newbies are going through and realising how far we've come. And however hard my job is, I really do love it and could no way have done it while I was drinking.

Went out with my team for our Christmas dinner last night and completely threw myself I was sober. Haha! That should not be news to me after a year and a half!! Of course you're sober, crazy! You've been sober for ******* ages now. Idiot. I felt really shy for about the first ten minutes then it went with a swing. This will be my first sober Christmas, and now I really think it's going to be great. H will be at work until about midday so I'm going to get up, go for a run to where he's working, give him a big fat Christmas day kiss and run home to start fixing the lunch. Run, food, a little lovin', that's, like three of my favourite things right there!



Originally Posted by InsertNameHere View Post
If you all are interested you should check out "cards against humanity, a party game for horrible people". Its hilarious in the absolute worst way. Hux I definitely think you would dig it.
LMFAO!! Yeah, it sounds good - I'll check it out H says you'd always be welcome btw. I think he'd like another man about the house. It's doing his head in that I'm better on the PS3 that he is On the other hand he can sit on his arse for a month and then just pull fifty press-ups out of nowhere so it's still an equal partnership. A weird but equal partnership.

Right! I'm dragging nine under-10s around Hyde Park in the rain today, I gotta run.

Love y'all xxxxxx
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Old 12-15-2013, 01:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Huxley View Post
Run, food, a little lovin', that's, like three of my favourite things right there!
replace the 'run' word with just about anything else, and I'm in absolute agreement. Xxx
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Old 12-16-2013, 01:14 AM
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I am still waiting for those occasional drinking thoughts to go away Hux... Just yesterday a pupil of mine gave me Xmas present of a mini bottle of wine and some chocolates (two things I can't have!). My immediate thought was that I wanted to drink it... and that I could cos it was just a little bottle... then I thought 'I can't it's warm', but then I thought 'that's okay I can put ice in it'... this whole thought process before I put it in the corner next to the other presents and decided to give it to someone at work tomorrow... And that wasn't even a stress response, just a 'there's wine in my house' response!

Not a massive amount to report on my front. I had a successful date the other day. I was actually excited and enjoyed myself. I have decided I am not doing anything anymore unless it's fun. These things should be fun, not stress inducing. The other two people I was chatting to have fallen by the wayside so I have no fears of ending up on countless dates so that's taken away one worry. And this particular person seems totally unjudgemental which is nice. I was very nearly completely honest about the drinking thing and he didn't even flinch, haha. I have this fear that on dates you have to be this perfect version of yourself and I have too many flaws to cover, it's nice not to feel as if you have to hide yourself for fear that people won't like you.

I also had a good week at work. I was not well at the beginning of the week, virus or something, and took a few days off but I got a ton of stuff done in my three days back. I have one job I would really like to finish before my Xmas holiday and I think I may be able to get it done now. Still haven't had that 'chat' with my boss, so no idea what is going on there. This might not be a nice reason to feel okay about it but my manager has been complaining about him a lot so I feel like she is on my side and that there is an element that we will never be able to keep him happy. I guess if I am pleased with what I am doing then I should just content myself with that. But being my own worst critic I am not sure I ever will be content...

Jeni, you sound so much better and happier in your work and with your family... any tips for the still crazy makers..?

Today I am going to phone up about getting counselling again and maybe arrange to meet up with my sponsor. I think she sensed I have been stressed as she has mostly been emailing tentatively asking if I am okay rather than pushing me forwards. But with this little break at Xmas I feel like I have the head space to do it.

Hope you're all well xxx
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:15 PM
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It's funny you both talking about occasional drinking thoughts...I still get them too sometimes. Not anywhere near troubling me...but just some weird messed up memory of happy drinking over Christmas. I found the worst thing to do was stuff them away because they kept tapping on the door and that tapping got louder and louder....

I just posted and talked about them. I even spoke to H about them...and we don't discuss drinking. Not ever. I'm always too wary of one of us triggering the other or a response of 'hell yeah let's have a drink or 2...' It's sometimes a bit like the elephant in the room, but it's ok.

It's funny how once those thoughts are brought out into the open and faced, they slither away again. I guess it's because drinking would make no bloody sense for any of us would it? We are alcoholics forpetessake!!

I'm worn out, can't wait for Friday and the end of term.....

As for how I've managed to relax at work and with my family stuff Hypo...I honestly don't know. I can only put it down to 10 months of counselling, re-working the steps with a really dynamic sponsor, learning how to meditate and finding a faith from somewhere. Whatever it is, I feel much calmer generally. I'm still a complete fruit loop (obviously), but I'm hoping one day I might actually be sane!

Have a good day everyone. Love to you all xxx
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Old 12-17-2013, 12:51 PM
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I don't think you're fruit loopy at all Jeni. You make far more sense than most people I know. And you certainly have a knack for talking sense into me x

I am happy today because I sold a bit of wood which will help with the money that will be taken out of my wages for going over my holidays... And I have a counselling session in early January which will hopefully be a good start to the new year x
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:28 PM
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You had your wages docked? That's a bit harsh.

Not much to say really...I'm sort of limping towards Friday. Think I've done all the buying of presents, now I just need to think about food. And I like thinking about that, so that's ok

I was thinking about how different this Christmas feels compared to last one, and how different I feel compared to last year. The change is really monumental. I was in a weird head space last year...lots of nightmares and anxiety. It's funny, I never thought I'd get past that. There's a lesson in there..nothing lasts forever as long as we keep taking steps forward.
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Old 12-21-2013, 01:34 PM
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This Christmas feels much better for me too Jeni. Last year was a bit of a struggle, though a triumphant one. I feel like I can actually start enjoying myself now rather than just protecting myself. I had a few alcohol related blips though. I was getting ready for a date the other day and decided it felt really odd doing that without gin... but that is just another first I guess. The other one was that I went out for a xmas meal with work and where we went very kindly did me a vegan dinner, a ratatouille stuffed pepper which was cooked in wine! I had to giggle to myself at the situation I had kinda put myself in. It didn't trigger me like the last time I tasted alcohol in food but I was annoyed that it tasted so damn good! It hasn't derailed me any, I still intend to avoid food with alcohol in it but I am not going to give myself for eating it this time, I had very little alternative.

I am off to see my sisters tomorrow after my music group which I am really looking forward to, and then one of my sisters is visiting on Monday too. All in all things are pretty good, though I know my two weeks off are going to fly by.

How is everyone else doing? x
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Old 12-21-2013, 02:02 PM
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I'm good thanks...where's INH? Your fan club are missing you, bout time you checked in....

All set for Christmas now, and God, it feels good to have finished work for a few weeks.

So how's the dating going? It's funny how the 'firsts' are still triggering even after all this time. I've managed to kick the odd drinking thought into touch now. Christmas is better without it, and besides we've saved a fortune not having to stock up on alcohol. Between us we used to knock it back a bit.

I'm going to stop my counselling in the new year. It is starting to really conflict with my AA philosophy and just messing with my already messed up brain. Truth is I don't need it any more. She keeps pushing me to explore what she perceives as repressed anger (I just don't think it's true). Anyway, time to call it a day with that.

Other than that everything is fine and dandy.

It would be better if INH showed up obviously....xx
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Old 12-21-2013, 03:12 PM
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what am I - chopped liver?

LOL

D
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