Class of August 2012
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 297
Ahhhh, Friday. I am headed up to my sister's house to spend the day/evening with her and her kids. They are Mormon so there will be no drinking temptations at her house!
@Rosie What dvd's/books do you have planned to watch/read?
@Rosie What dvd's/books do you have planned to watch/read?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 61
427!
That sounds awesome! I, too, LOVE local music. I cannot wait until I can go back out to places and listen to live music and maybe buy a CD or two. Austin is a fantastic city for live music.
Most of the time, I would just drink too much then I wouldn't remember the band well. But that's going to change!
Here's to success and saved money
That sounds awesome! I, too, LOVE local music. I cannot wait until I can go back out to places and listen to live music and maybe buy a CD or two. Austin is a fantastic city for live music.
Most of the time, I would just drink too much then I wouldn't remember the band well. But that's going to change!
Here's to success and saved money
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 40
Ohhhh Friday, here we go! I made a plan for myself for the day so I will not be tempted to stray out to the bars with invites from friends ... Work, workout, movie, ice cream to treat myself at the end of the day. Here is to Day 7! Have a wonderful day everyone!
@Lakia- Welcome!
@Lakia- Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 250
@ ebshot
downloaded lots of different types of books on my kindle comedy detectives and now just got the Russel brand autobiography as suggested in another thread not a fan but I am interested to learn how he overcome his addiction
dvds same got a mixture bought the swedish trilogy of girl in dragon tatoo need to be sober to read it my logic anyways lol did try watching after wine and convinced myself I could understand it Opps I so couldn't also got comedies drama mood changes so covering all bases I hope
downloaded lots of different types of books on my kindle comedy detectives and now just got the Russel brand autobiography as suggested in another thread not a fan but I am interested to learn how he overcome his addiction
dvds same got a mixture bought the swedish trilogy of girl in dragon tatoo need to be sober to read it my logic anyways lol did try watching after wine and convinced myself I could understand it Opps I so couldn't also got comedies drama mood changes so covering all bases I hope
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 508
I'm back. Quit on Aug 1st probably only made it a day or two. Moderation isn't working yet again. When will I learn. Really need to stop for my health. I'm calling today DAY 1 but I feel like I'm already lying to myself. People are coming for the weekend - drinkers.
I'm already planning on making a yummy non-alcolholic fruit punch so I'll have something to drink.
I know it is my decision not to drink but every time I go back to worrying about my relationship with my husband and what impact my not drinking could have. I really need to start being more positive and thinking about what good things could come to our relationship if I stopped having to worry about my drinking all the time.
I'm already planning on making a yummy non-alcolholic fruit punch so I'll have something to drink.
I know it is my decision not to drink but every time I go back to worrying about my relationship with my husband and what impact my not drinking could have. I really need to start being more positive and thinking about what good things could come to our relationship if I stopped having to worry about my drinking all the time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Surprise AZ
Posts: 293
Day 7! Friday has always been a killer for me. Good news is this is the longest I have been sober for a long time.
I also plan on some DvD lovin Rosie. I plan on watching a TV show called Firefly, which coincidentally has a spaceship named Serenity - actually its the same ship that's in my avatar. Ive already seen the show twice, but its a show I can easily get lost in and watch show after show.
Ive also found that my cravings are always the strongest when I first get home after work. (especially on fridays), I found that a cup of strong hot tea is really good for knocking the edge off those cravings and making them more manageable.
Relapse is NOT an option today!
I also plan on some DvD lovin Rosie. I plan on watching a TV show called Firefly, which coincidentally has a spaceship named Serenity - actually its the same ship that's in my avatar.
Ive already seen the show twice, but its a show I can easily get lost in and watch show after show.Ive also found that my cravings are always the strongest when I first get home after work. (especially on fridays), I found that a cup of strong hot tea is really good for knocking the edge off those cravings and making them more manageable.
Relapse is NOT an option today!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 53
On day 11 and the beginning of my 2nd weekend. I am actually feeling very good and the obsessive thoughts are easier to manage. Last night my dh asked, "You're still not drinking? I'm impressed." So am I, but it also makes me think how bad my drinking was, how often I did it, that it's such a triumph.
I feel like my interactions with dh carry more weight, as they are not discussions fueld by wine that errupt in arguments. And, a big and, I never need to question what I actually said or if my thoughts or concerns are real and founded rather than a drunken rant.
I like waking up and being able to function normally, free of headaches and other symptoms of over-indulgence in alcohol.
I have a busy weekend planned and think I will get through with less challenges than last weekend. Today I have cleaning, food shopping, preparing for camping, and cooking planned. I'll finish the evening with a movie or board games with the kids. Tomorrow I have to work at the winery - my biggest challenge of the weekend. I did great last weekend and know I can do it again. The hardest part is skipping the glass of wine at the end of the day and not bringing any wine home. Sunday morning we go camping and return late Monday. Then it's back to work!
Hoope you all have a great sober weekend!
I feel like my interactions with dh carry more weight, as they are not discussions fueld by wine that errupt in arguments. And, a big and, I never need to question what I actually said or if my thoughts or concerns are real and founded rather than a drunken rant.
I like waking up and being able to function normally, free of headaches and other symptoms of over-indulgence in alcohol.
I have a busy weekend planned and think I will get through with less challenges than last weekend. Today I have cleaning, food shopping, preparing for camping, and cooking planned. I'll finish the evening with a movie or board games with the kids. Tomorrow I have to work at the winery - my biggest challenge of the weekend. I did great last weekend and know I can do it again. The hardest part is skipping the glass of wine at the end of the day and not bringing any wine home. Sunday morning we go camping and return late Monday. Then it's back to work!
Hoope you all have a great sober weekend!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Notheast US
Posts: 524
Today marks two weeks! I feel a lot of positive energy from the class today.
Between thinking about my own journey and reading posts from people coming to SR, it seems obvious that the road to sobriety is indeed a very long one and starts long before quitting the addiction. I searched online for some help in finding something that would give a good overview of the process and look at the hurdles along the way. To me, the following article does a good job of defining stages. I think for most of us, the first stage is the hardest one to fully embrace and that nagging thought that we might have a problem can get tossed around and dismissed for many years before we can’t rationalize it or deny it any more.
If you take the time to read this, I’m wondering when you look back at yourself, how did you rationalize or deny things before you attempted sobriety? Do you think that you have fully accepted your unhappiness with your addiction?
Excerpt from the Stanton Peele Addiction Website (Out of the Habit Trap: Five Stages to Freedom )
How does anyone manage to kick a habit after years of living with it? To find out, San Francisco sociologists Dan Waldorf and Patrick Biernacki interviewed heroin addicts who quit on their own, and sociologist Barry Tuchfeld at Texas Christian University talked with some 50 alcoholics who recovered without therapy or AA. And in conducting our own field research with addicts of all types, my associate Archie Brodsky and I have outlined the critical steps in self-cure.
The key word is self: taking charge of your own problem. Some psychologists call this self-mastery; others, self-efficacy; others, the belief in free will. It translates into three components necessary for change: an urge to quit, the belief that you can quit and the realization that you must quit—no one can do it for you. Once you have quit, the rewards of living without the addiction must be great enough to keep you free of it.
The stages of successful self-cure are remarkably similar, regardless of the addiction:
1. Accumulated unhappiness about the addiction. Before a change can take place, unhappiness with the addiction has to build to a point where it can't be denied or rationalized away. This phase of the process of self-cure, to use Vaillant's analogy, is like the incubation of a chick. Just because the chick hatches, rather abruptly at that, doesn't mean it happened spontaneously. A lot of changes go on first beneath the outer shell.
To break an addiction, you must believe the rewards you'll get (from not smoking, from exercising and losing weight, from cutting down on or giving up alcohol or drugs) will surpass what you got from the habit. Heroin addicts who "mature out" typically explain to interviewers that a life of hustling, prison and the underworld was no longer worth it.
2. A moment of truth. An alcoholic pregnant woman told Tuchfeld: "I was drinking beer one morning and felt the baby quiver. I poured the rest of the beer out and I said, 'God forgive me, I'll never drink another drop.' " Another woman who had quit (and resumed) smoking several times found herself sorting through the butts in an ashtray late one night, desperate for a smoke: "I saw a snapshot of myself in my mind's eye," she told me, "and I was disgusted." She has not been a smoker for 15 years now.
Most ex-addicts can pinpoint a moment at which they "hatched" from the addiction and left it behind. It is impossible to distinguish the real moment of truth from the addict's previous vows to quit, except in retrospect. But it is just as foolish to disregard these reports altogether. Because they are part of such a high percentage of successful cures, they seem to have an important meaning to the ex-addict.
Epiphanies that work can be brought on by dramatic, catastrophic events: an alcoholic becomes falling-down-drunk in front of someone he admires, or a cigarette smoker watches a friend die of lung cancer. But most moments of truth seem to be inspired by trivial remarks or chance occurrences. Either way, they work because they crystallize the discrepancy between the addict's self-image and the reality.
3. Changing patterns. People successful at self-cure usually make active changes in their environment—they may move away from a drug culture, become more involved in work, make new friends. But some people break a habit without changing their usual patterns. The man whose story began this article—the heavy drinker and smoker—was a musician who continued to spend nearly all his nights in bars. He wrapped himself in a new identity—"I'm a nondrinking, nonsmoking musician"—that protected him from his familiar vices.
4. Changing the identity of addict. Once former addicts gain more from their new lives than from the old ways—feeling better, getting along with people better, working better, having more fun—the lure of the addiction pales. One longtime heroin addict quoted in the book High on Life quit the drug in his thirties, went to school and got a good job. Later, during a hospital stay, he was given an unlimited prescription for Percodan, a synthetic narcotic. He marveled at how he had no desire to continue the drugs when his pain stopped: "I had a different relationship with people, with work, with the things that had become important to me. I would have had to work at relapsing."
5. Dealing with relapses. One of the problems with biological theories of addiction is the image of imminent relapse it creates for the addict—the idea that one slip is a return to permanent addiction. Many of Schachter's ex-smokers admit having a puff at a party. Half of those ex-addicts who had been in Vietnam did try heroin at home, Lee Robins found, but few returned to a full-fledged addiction. The addict who has successfully modified his or her life catches the slip, and controls it.
The steps out of addiction, therefore, are: to find a superior alternative to the habit you want to break; find people who can help you puncture your complacent defenses; change whatever you need to in your life to accommodate your new, healthier habits; celebrate your new, non-addicted image whenever you can.
The common feature in all these steps is your action, your beliefs. Self-curers often use many of the same techniques for breaking out of an addiction that formal treatment programs do.
Here's to a fun, sober weekend for all!
Between thinking about my own journey and reading posts from people coming to SR, it seems obvious that the road to sobriety is indeed a very long one and starts long before quitting the addiction. I searched online for some help in finding something that would give a good overview of the process and look at the hurdles along the way. To me, the following article does a good job of defining stages. I think for most of us, the first stage is the hardest one to fully embrace and that nagging thought that we might have a problem can get tossed around and dismissed for many years before we can’t rationalize it or deny it any more.
If you take the time to read this, I’m wondering when you look back at yourself, how did you rationalize or deny things before you attempted sobriety? Do you think that you have fully accepted your unhappiness with your addiction?
Excerpt from the Stanton Peele Addiction Website (Out of the Habit Trap: Five Stages to Freedom )
How does anyone manage to kick a habit after years of living with it? To find out, San Francisco sociologists Dan Waldorf and Patrick Biernacki interviewed heroin addicts who quit on their own, and sociologist Barry Tuchfeld at Texas Christian University talked with some 50 alcoholics who recovered without therapy or AA. And in conducting our own field research with addicts of all types, my associate Archie Brodsky and I have outlined the critical steps in self-cure.
The key word is self: taking charge of your own problem. Some psychologists call this self-mastery; others, self-efficacy; others, the belief in free will. It translates into three components necessary for change: an urge to quit, the belief that you can quit and the realization that you must quit—no one can do it for you. Once you have quit, the rewards of living without the addiction must be great enough to keep you free of it.
The stages of successful self-cure are remarkably similar, regardless of the addiction:
1. Accumulated unhappiness about the addiction. Before a change can take place, unhappiness with the addiction has to build to a point where it can't be denied or rationalized away. This phase of the process of self-cure, to use Vaillant's analogy, is like the incubation of a chick. Just because the chick hatches, rather abruptly at that, doesn't mean it happened spontaneously. A lot of changes go on first beneath the outer shell.
To break an addiction, you must believe the rewards you'll get (from not smoking, from exercising and losing weight, from cutting down on or giving up alcohol or drugs) will surpass what you got from the habit. Heroin addicts who "mature out" typically explain to interviewers that a life of hustling, prison and the underworld was no longer worth it.
2. A moment of truth. An alcoholic pregnant woman told Tuchfeld: "I was drinking beer one morning and felt the baby quiver. I poured the rest of the beer out and I said, 'God forgive me, I'll never drink another drop.' " Another woman who had quit (and resumed) smoking several times found herself sorting through the butts in an ashtray late one night, desperate for a smoke: "I saw a snapshot of myself in my mind's eye," she told me, "and I was disgusted." She has not been a smoker for 15 years now.
Most ex-addicts can pinpoint a moment at which they "hatched" from the addiction and left it behind. It is impossible to distinguish the real moment of truth from the addict's previous vows to quit, except in retrospect. But it is just as foolish to disregard these reports altogether. Because they are part of such a high percentage of successful cures, they seem to have an important meaning to the ex-addict.
Epiphanies that work can be brought on by dramatic, catastrophic events: an alcoholic becomes falling-down-drunk in front of someone he admires, or a cigarette smoker watches a friend die of lung cancer. But most moments of truth seem to be inspired by trivial remarks or chance occurrences. Either way, they work because they crystallize the discrepancy between the addict's self-image and the reality.
3. Changing patterns. People successful at self-cure usually make active changes in their environment—they may move away from a drug culture, become more involved in work, make new friends. But some people break a habit without changing their usual patterns. The man whose story began this article—the heavy drinker and smoker—was a musician who continued to spend nearly all his nights in bars. He wrapped himself in a new identity—"I'm a nondrinking, nonsmoking musician"—that protected him from his familiar vices.
4. Changing the identity of addict. Once former addicts gain more from their new lives than from the old ways—feeling better, getting along with people better, working better, having more fun—the lure of the addiction pales. One longtime heroin addict quoted in the book High on Life quit the drug in his thirties, went to school and got a good job. Later, during a hospital stay, he was given an unlimited prescription for Percodan, a synthetic narcotic. He marveled at how he had no desire to continue the drugs when his pain stopped: "I had a different relationship with people, with work, with the things that had become important to me. I would have had to work at relapsing."
5. Dealing with relapses. One of the problems with biological theories of addiction is the image of imminent relapse it creates for the addict—the idea that one slip is a return to permanent addiction. Many of Schachter's ex-smokers admit having a puff at a party. Half of those ex-addicts who had been in Vietnam did try heroin at home, Lee Robins found, but few returned to a full-fledged addiction. The addict who has successfully modified his or her life catches the slip, and controls it.
The steps out of addiction, therefore, are: to find a superior alternative to the habit you want to break; find people who can help you puncture your complacent defenses; change whatever you need to in your life to accommodate your new, healthier habits; celebrate your new, non-addicted image whenever you can.
The common feature in all these steps is your action, your beliefs. Self-curers often use many of the same techniques for breaking out of an addiction that formal treatment programs do.
Here's to a fun, sober weekend for all!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: AZ
Posts: 183
@Iwillbesober: Oh yeah, you're in one of the best places Ever to hear music!!!! A good friend of mine lives in San Marcos and is always posting Jimmy Vaughan, The Trish's, all kinds of awesome music! For Me (and I'm Not endorsing this for everyone by any means! I was lucky last night, and happy for it, but it Was a Risk!) I was okay w/ drinking iced tea. But word of warning: If you're only 1 week into recovery and have problems w/ insomnia... uh, iced tea ain't the best choice, lol! Got home before 12:00 (new in itself!), but didn't get to sleep until about 5:30 this morning!!!!
Glad everyone is doing good! I'm still spacy as ever but maintaining. And welcome to the newcomers! Have a great group here!
Onward through the fog!
OH, and P.S. - A Really drunk couple came in at the end of the night and sat at our table (uninvited, lol!). The girl could barely hold herself up and could not stop laughing! That, of course, made me laugh, so we both looked like a couple of nut cases! BUT, I was sober!!! Yay!!!! Saw things a little differently! Poor girl had her shirt on inside-out, too! Did I look like that???? Nawwww.
Glad everyone is doing good! I'm still spacy as ever but maintaining. And welcome to the newcomers! Have a great group here!
Onward through the fog!
OH, and P.S. - A Really drunk couple came in at the end of the night and sat at our table (uninvited, lol!). The girl could barely hold herself up and could not stop laughing! That, of course, made me laugh, so we both looked like a couple of nut cases! BUT, I was sober!!! Yay!!!! Saw things a little differently! Poor girl had her shirt on inside-out, too! Did I look like that???? Nawwww.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Heart of Dixie, United States
Posts: 433
Day 1 again.
Had a crappy blood lipids test and got put on Zocor for high cholesterol. I also got my tennis elbow treated with a steroid shot in the arm. OUCH! I have to finish up a 6 day DexPak for inflammation, and Flexiril for muscle cramps at night.
Needless to say, I celebrated my bad news by drinking every night except for tonight.
Self destruction at its best.
Interestingly, I made an inspection in an old downtown building, and found the long ago former home of AA upstairs. I sure didn't expect that. There were many positive messages in the room on the walls. At the top of the stairs before you entered the room, someone had written "12 more steps to a better life" on the wall. Pretty neat, I thought.
I'm using it as motivation tonight to not go out and get a 6 pack.
Divine intervention? Luck?
I'll take either one tonight.
Had a crappy blood lipids test and got put on Zocor for high cholesterol. I also got my tennis elbow treated with a steroid shot in the arm. OUCH! I have to finish up a 6 day DexPak for inflammation, and Flexiril for muscle cramps at night.
Needless to say, I celebrated my bad news by drinking every night except for tonight.
Self destruction at its best.
Interestingly, I made an inspection in an old downtown building, and found the long ago former home of AA upstairs. I sure didn't expect that. There were many positive messages in the room on the walls. At the top of the stairs before you entered the room, someone had written "12 more steps to a better life" on the wall. Pretty neat, I thought.
I'm using it as motivation tonight to not go out and get a 6 pack.
Divine intervention? Luck?
I'll take either one tonight.
...is awesome!
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 107
Day 18. Well it's flown. My addiction is screaming in my ear today, seriously can it shut up already. Im so sick of it trying to destroy me!!! My urges to drink today are pretty strong but I haven't given in and made my mind up that im going to get drunk today which I would do in the past.....just give in and tell myself 'fine, ok just get it over with and do it, get drunk'! Coca Cola is losing it's appeal and im in NEED of something. How I ever made it through nearly two years sober without a second thought (after many years and attempts at battling this) is baffling to me right now. Why did I have to bloody drink again grrrrrrrrrrrr. I could go on and on but ill just stop here.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
I think our problem is progressive - what worked for you on those two years may not be enough now?
Maybe now's a good time to look for more support and stuff like that Liz?
Doing something different definitely is key.
D
D
Maybe now's a good time to look for more support and stuff like that Liz?
Doing something different definitely is key.
D
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 250
No real cravings last night 
Saturday and today is the battle of the wardrobe lol a job I have needed to do like forever (to many clothes to small a wardrobe hahahah) but was always to hungover/tired on a Weekend to even think about it
@SlimSlim good article no idea why I have been able to stay sober this time I have wanted to and failed for such a long time SR is helping a lot getting my feelings out there (sorry I have rambled on a bit)
One thing I have started doing and found useful is I have jotted down in a little notepad all the bad experiences with hangovers, stupid things done, blackouts etc and read them every time the little voice in my head says how nice a glass of wine would be (it would have never ended at one glass that's impossible for me).
@Fdm just keep on trying its worth it, learn from what happened and move on ((hugs))
@Kittycat sounds great :-) I am finding I am enjoying food a lot more lately seems to taste better don't know if this is just me seem to be enjoying different kinds of food also more subtle flavours
Hope everyone has a great Saturday
Saturday and today is the battle of the wardrobe lol a job I have needed to do like forever (to many clothes to small a wardrobe hahahah) but was always to hungover/tired on a Weekend to even think about it
@SlimSlim good article no idea why I have been able to stay sober this time I have wanted to and failed for such a long time SR is helping a lot getting my feelings out there (sorry I have rambled on a bit)
One thing I have started doing and found useful is I have jotted down in a little notepad all the bad experiences with hangovers, stupid things done, blackouts etc and read them every time the little voice in my head says how nice a glass of wine would be (it would have never ended at one glass that's impossible for me).
@Fdm just keep on trying its worth it, learn from what happened and move on ((hugs))
@Kittycat sounds great :-) I am finding I am enjoying food a lot more lately seems to taste better don't know if this is just me seem to be enjoying different kinds of food also more subtle flavours
Hope everyone has a great Saturday
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Heart of Dixie, United States
Posts: 433
Well, I hope to remember how nice it is to wake up sand beers like I have today.
I slept ok, despite going to bed with back spasms. I woke up around 0500 and had a case of the dizzies. The Zocor and Flexiril cocktail taken before sleeping is potent for me.
I did get the lawn mowed yesterday evening instead of drinking beer, and I grilled the family turkey burgers for dinner. I'm working on my diet to not have to rely on statin drugs forever.
I have several small projects to get done today at home. I have some outgrown kids clothing to drop off at Goodwill, and I need to fill our portable gas containers. I keep our 2 generators full of fuel and a spare supply 12-14 gallons of Sta-Bil treated fuel. I also need to get a spare full propane bottle for the grill.
I'm a bit of prepper, but a huge believer in being prepared for at least 3-7 days of a power outage or other disruption.
Here's to No beer day! Wish me luck!
I slept ok, despite going to bed with back spasms. I woke up around 0500 and had a case of the dizzies. The Zocor and Flexiril cocktail taken before sleeping is potent for me.
I did get the lawn mowed yesterday evening instead of drinking beer, and I grilled the family turkey burgers for dinner. I'm working on my diet to not have to rely on statin drugs forever.
I have several small projects to get done today at home. I have some outgrown kids clothing to drop off at Goodwill, and I need to fill our portable gas containers. I keep our 2 generators full of fuel and a spare supply 12-14 gallons of Sta-Bil treated fuel. I also need to get a spare full propane bottle for the grill.
I'm a bit of prepper, but a huge believer in being prepared for at least 3-7 days of a power outage or other disruption.
Here's to No beer day! Wish me luck!
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