Codependency and Beyond Part 23

[Impurrfect]

(((Chino))) - I was posting on another thread where I called my dentist and said "I need PAIN MEDS!!!" (before I was an A). She told me "you NEED antibiotics" and though she did call in a script for Darvocet, she was right....once I took the antibiotics, the pain was tolerable.

I hope you get in soon.

I'm still in the "OMG, I DID IT!!" frame of mind, got Elvis inside, but he wants back out. I'm sure that once dad comes home, I will be out there calling him again, as he's a sneaky little devil and gets out the door quick!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

[frances2011]

Chino I'm so grateful for antibiotics to help ease your pain and start healing.

Woohooooo Amy!!!!!! Congrats!

So grateful for the esh, thank you

[MsPINKAcres]

Amy ~ congrats on finishing the semester ~ that is wonderful news!!!

Chino ~ hope the antibiotics kick in fast & help with the pain!!

Frances ~ how's the PINK hula hoop doing ? good I pray!

I am wondering why the parents/grandparents that struggle to do everything right are the ones that their kids/grandkids hate them & then the parents/grandparents that treat their kids/grandkids like pieces of discarded crap ~ those are the kids that worship those same parents/grandkids ~

The worse that my grandchildren are treated by their parents ~ the more these kids take up for their parents~and the more the resent & hate the ones that are there providing for them.

That's the way it has always been & the way it will always be ~ it sucks completely.

[frances2011]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Rita}}}}}}}}}}}}} so difficult, sending gentle thoughts your way

[Chino]

Rita...

[Gypsy Feet]

Wednesday, May 2, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Our Higher Power

For the next twenty-four hours ...

In recovery, we live life one day at a time, an idea requiring an enormous amount of faith. We refuse to look back - unless healing from the past is part of today's work. We look ahead only to make plans. We focus on this day's activity, living it to the best of our ability. If we do that long enough, we'll have enough connected days of healing living to make something valuable of our life.

...I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only...

We surrender to God's will. We stop trying to control, and we settle for a life that is manageable. We trust our Higher Power's will for us - that it's good, generous, and with direction.

We're learning, through trial and error, to separate our will from God's will. We're learning that God's will is not offensive. We've learned that sometimes there's a difference between what others want us to do and God's will. We're also learning that God did not intend for us to be codependent, to be martyrs, to control or care take. We're learning to trust ourselves.

. . . and the power to carry that through.

Some of recovery is accepting powerlessness. An important part of recovery is claiming the power to take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, we need to do things that are frightening or painful. Sometimes, we need to step out, step back, or step forward. We need to call on the help of a Power greater than ourselves to do that.

We will never be called upon to do anything that we won't be empowered to do.

Today, I can call upon an energizing Power Source to help me. That Power is God. I will ask for what I need.

[Impurrfect]

(((Rita))) - I don't get it either

I just got back from a financial aid workshop. I applied for another loan. There are changes in the grant stuff and though my tuition and one book will be paid for in summer semester, come fall it's likely they won't. I have no idea if I'll get the loan or how much it will be, but can't hurt to try. Dad let me use his card to fill my car up with gas, and I really don't like to do that, but can't drive the car on air.

Good news, though. I got most of my grades for week 14 (there were 15 weeks) and the outstanding stuff is worth 100 in in 2 of the classes, 150 in one and 200 in the other. Unless I totally fail, as in make less than a 50 on any assignments - which I have never made that low - I will have all A's!!

I was in shock, kept rechecking the numbers and it comes out the same. Earlier this semester I was convinced I'd have a C in stats, but nope. I even made a 100 on the paper that I'd apologized to the instructor for as it was NOT my best and I made mistakes?

I talked to aunt M for a while and they are doing good. As I was walking in the house, sm and the brat were leaving. Brat was in a strapless lacy dress? I was on the phone with aunt M and just said "hi/bye"

I am taking today to chill out. Will do stores and catch up tomorrow and Friday, but it's been a looooooong semester, ER visits, trips here and there and I deserve it!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

[Chino]

My antibiotic is kicking in, thank goodness! The first surgery opening is on the 31st, so I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed that the infection doesn't come back. If I have to, I'll have my dentist yank it, but he can't do the graft. None of us want me to have to do an extra procedure. I'm on the surgeons cancel list, just in case something opens up sooner.

I'm so tired and slap happy. I've only had about 8 hrs of sleep in the last 3 days, due to the pain. I'm headed outside to take a nap in the sun

[Impurrfect]

(((Chino))) - I'm glad the antibiotic is kicking in and praying you get in to see the dentist earlier, and the infection goes away QUICK and doesn't come back.

It's too hot, here, to nap in the sun, but my bed is calling me

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

[MsPINKAcres]

Amy ~ wahoooooooo on the good grades!! and I say this is the best way possible - go ahead Ms. Smarty Pants! bwah ha ha ha ha ha!! just joking - i know you work very hard for those grades & you deserve lots of praise!!!!!!

chino - hope there is a cancellation soon & you can get the tooth fixed!! enjoy your nap!

[Impurrfect]

(((Rita))) - Love it! I still think my brain is trying to accept that I really DO still have a brain. Crack didn't kill it, living in dysfunction junction hasn't killed it. I think, sometimes, school is my life-line. It distracts me from most of the stuff around here, and my grades are validation that I'm doing good. I know, I shouldn't NEED validation, but it's still nice to get

I went to visit Elvis out on the deck. It's actually not bad where he's at in the shade. He has no interest in coming in. I've got water on the carport for them, but put another bowl on the deck as he and Patches like laying out there. Patches is sprawled out on the driveway, Mots is snoring on my filing cabinet....such a hard life

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

[Chino]

The sun and heat woke me up but I do feel better. I used to pretty much live every moment of my day consumed by thoughts of my daughter. These last few days I'm doing that with my tooth LOL

[Gypsy Feet]

Originally Posted by Chino

I used to pretty much live every moment of my day consumed by thoughts of my daughter. These last few days I'm doing that with my tooth LOL

Me too Chino, except for awhile now its been men. . .=)

to be fair, I spend far more time focusing on what ever is happening in the now, but if I have free imagining time I do think on MW a lot

sure is more fun than obsessing over my kid

[Gypsy Feet]

Thursday, May 3, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Freedom from Self-Seeking
Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.
—paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous

There is a difference between owning our power to take care of ourselves, as part of God's will for our life, and self-will. There is a difference between self-care and self-seeking. And our behaviors are not as much subject to criticism as are the motives underlying them.

There is a harmonic, gentle, timely feeling to owning our power, to self-care, and to acts with healthy motives that are not present in self-will and self-seeking. We will learn discernment. But we will not always know the difference. Sometimes, we will feel guilty and anxious with no need. We may be surprised at the loving way God wants us to treat ourselves. We can trust that self-care is always appropriate. We want to be free of self-will and self-seeking, but we are always free to take care of ourselves.

God, please guide my motives today, and keep me on Your path. Help me love myself, and others too. Help me understand that more often than not, those two ideas are connected.

[Impurrfect]

(((Chino))) - Hope your feeling better!

I've been giving Elvis water with a syringe all night. He did eat, but just wants to lay on me and I've really got to go out and do stores, so please keep my furbaby in your prayers.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

[MsPINKAcres]

oh no - praying for my dear Elvis ~ hope he is feeling better this morning!!!

"God, please guide my motives today, and keep me on Your path. Help me love myself, and others too. Help me understand that more often than not, those two ideas are connected. "
love this Lisa ~ thanks for the reading! great prayer

Breathe In, Breathe out ~ One Day at a Time, One Minute at a Time, One Thought at a time ~
Easy Does it & First Things First ~
PINK HUGS,
Rita

[Chino]

I hope Elivs is OK

A good friend of my dad's died the other day and his funeral was last night, burial this morning. I felt awful that I couldn't be there for him and his family, because he was there for us and my dad when he died. It didn't matter to me that I found out at the last minute, I still felt awful. This man was poor as a church mouse, as are all his relatives, but he still found a way to make the trip for my dad. He lived on a reservation in another state, and gave my dad a proper send off according to his tribal culture.

So I did the next best thing and sent flowers. I asked the florist - the only in that area - what had been delivered so far, and learned there was no casket spray and hardly any flowers. Like I said, they're all poor. That was the first casket spray I've ever sent, and I made sure it was big enough to cover the entire casket. Since I couldn't send him off properly, I made sure he went out with a blaze of glorious color. I know he and my dad are chuckling about it together

My mom was really upset, especially because he had called her late last Saturday but she hadn't returned his call yet. She was glad I called her so she could at least send flowers, too. We had a wonderful conversation going down memory lane, and it felt good to share tears together. Thank you Gary, for the gift.

My gastro system finally caved in from the onslaught of meds, and I'm glad I had imodium. It's this website where I learned about opiates, imodium, and the enteric nervous system, how it all works. My stomach was fine while I was on painkillers, but the minute I stopped taking them it all went to hell. I've learned so much because of this place, and have used all of it.

[MsPINKAcres]

what a beautiful gift Chino ~ that he was such a dear friend to you & your family and that you were able to share a gift with them ~ prayers of comfort for you & all who love him!

sweet & gentle PINK HUGS!

[Impurrfect]

(((Chino))) - I'm really glad that you were able to send (((Gary))) off with lots of color. When dad ordered the flowers for my cousin (((Gary))), I told him to ask that the be bright, but not gaudy, and to please put a butterfly in it somewhere, and they really did a good job.

Glad you had the immodium. It doesn't take much to set my stomach off, these days, so I keep it on hand. I really hope you get through with all this stuff quickly.

Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts for Elvis. I got home, everyone swore they hadn't let him out Sm said he had "no energy" and she'd found him asleep with his head and a paw in the food bowl? I called and called, then called some more. Was getting a bit panicky, finally decided to check outside, as he's quite sneaky at getting out when he wants to. He was laying in the driveway, just looking at me (I looked around outside when I got home).

He's a bit perkier, did eat but noticed he was swallowing funny and his mouth is dry as can be. He still won't drink water, so I've already started the syringe thing again.

I am exhausted, Tess reminded me that I just finished a tough semester, had a fire in the back yard, have had a sick kitty AND have had next to no sleep in 2 days, so as soon as I send in orders for my stores, Elvis and I are going to take a long nap.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

[Gypsy Feet]

Friday, May 4, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Freedom from Compulsive Disorders

Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today.
—paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous

When I first began my recovery from codependency, I was furious about having to begin another recovery program. Seven years earlier, I had begun recovery from chemical dependency. It didn't seem fair that one person should have to address two major issues in one lifetime.

I've gotten over my anger. I've learned that my recoveries aren't isolated from one another. Many of us recovering from codependency and adult children issues are also recovering from addictions: alcoholism, other drug dependency, gambling, food, work, or sex addiction. Some of us are trying to stay free of other compulsive disorders - ranging from caretaking to compulsively feeling miserable, guilty, or ashamed.

An important part of codependency recovery is staying clean and free of our compulsive or addictive behaviors. Recovery is one big room we've entered called healthy living.

We can wave the white flag of surrender to all our addictions. We can safely turn to a Power greater than ourselves to relieve us of our compulsive behavior. We know that now. Once we begin actively working a program of recovery, God will relieve us of our addictions. Ask God each morning to help us stay free of our addictions and compulsions. Thank God for helping us the day before.

Today, God, help me pay attention to all my recovery issues. Help me know that before I can work on the finer points of my recovery, such as my relationships, I must be free of addictive behaviors.