Starting today after a harrowing experience last night. Going to my first meeting tonight. Not going to lie I'm scared and things look tough...But I know it's for the better.

Can I get an Amen?!!
 

Abso-freakin-lootly!! :amen:

Unfortunatly practice lots and lots of practice well that and :23:

I don't think I want to continue with this aa stuff. It feels like I'm pledging a fraternity. They hammer home the need for a meeting a day. That wrecks havoc in my schedule. I haven't had a real dinner all week. With work and exercise I don't have time for a meeting every night. Then it creates cognitive dissonance and I end wanting to drink bc of that. Maybe I'm not desperate enough.

Hello everyone! I'm really glad to hear everyone is working so hard at this! I definately find myself thinking about alcohol from time to time. Last night I actually had a dream that I was at the liquor store buying beer... then in my dream I stopped myself and said, "WTF am I doing I can't do this?" I put them back and walked out. It was one of those really intense dreams that when you first wake up you think it really happened! What a relief when I realized that it never happened!!! Perhaps my brain is retraining in the right direction. When I do find myself thinking about booze I immediately try to remember how much I've hurt myself with it and then move to thinking about something else as quickly as possible. I DO NOT want to suffer anymore... my body has been put through so much and deserves better. So I'm going to work extra hard this weekend and go buy myself something nice on sunday with my "booze" money! I will pray for all you (and myself!) this weekend keep your heads up!!!

Tobo

Maybe it's the group you are going to? I know 90 in 90 is often said but the groups I am going to just say 'just keep coming'; I am not doing 7 meetings a week as that would just be too much for me as well - I am doing 5 a week, but I can see me cutting that down to 4 in the next few weeks. Maybe try a different group if you can? AA also says you need to have a balance in your life.

Welcome Last Drop... good your getting some 'extra' help too!

Sarah.... c'mon girl - we're in this together. The weekend is JUST one day and then another after that. Focus on the first day when it comes and find something else to do!!

INH - Definitely AMEN!

Tobo - Do what you need to do today to stay sober. Let tomorrow worry about itself until it gets here. Then do what it takes to stay sober again....

Jobei... yeah, the dreams are definitely strange sometimes... I haven't had any yet... but I still have dreams I'm smoking pot and it's been 20 years!!!

Day 16 here and I'm feeling excellent! Keep up the good work everyone!

If you don't continue with AA what are you going to do instead Tobo?

D

I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm so twisted. I think the truth is there is a huge part of me that doesn't want to stop. I want to drink and not use drugs and have fun. I know, I know, everyone is going to say I can't do that. But can they guarantee I can't? No. My past has shown eventually it catches up with me and I get into a jam. But I want to go out and get drunk and flirt and have wild experiences. Instead I'm laying in bed on a Friday night depressed. I hate this.

I'm gonna go to a meeting tonight. I owe it to the poor sap whose trying to sponsor me. But really I think I'm incorrigible. This is driving me crazy. It's like being mentally infected. A true exorcism.

I can guarantee you I tried for 20 years and almost died trying to drink and not have bad stuff happen.

Bad stuff happens when guys like you or I drink. That's another given.

I love my life now and I'm so glad I stuck with sobriety - who knows what you have waiting for you Tobo?

You've just got to give it a chance :)

D

It should be possible to go out and have wild experiences sober too Tobo, well it better be. I'm being a bit careful at the moment but I have no intention of staying in every night. I've been out to a club sober and to the pub a few times and I think I probably had more fun than if I was drinking. If AA isn't working for you have you looked into AVRT? It seems to be the opposite of AA and very positive and empowering.

I quit cigs and drinking on the same day also. Just 2 days in. However, it is the cigarettes that are giving me the most problem. How about you guys?

If you take the drunk part out it still works. I fully plan on going out and having a good time when I get back to the civilized world anyway, I just plan to do it without beer. Will it take some getting used to at first sure, but I think we put to much stock in using booze to have fun, no one said that you had to have booze to have fun. I think it has become a crutch for all of society but especially the youth, who have been raised by society to belive that the only way you can have fun is with a few drinks in ya. We are all going to first get to the point where we don't need and then don't want alcohol. After that we will be able to go out and learn how to have fun in a social setting without alcohol. I am sure it it possible, and just think of all the flirting you will be able to do with a clear head Tobo! you will have them lining up around the block! Just give it some time a little effort and a lot of patience.

Nice choice on the meeting even if it is just to satisfy your sponsor. If you want to check it out AVRT is working for me thus far I am pretty sure this is the second longest I have been sober and I know that this is the best I have felt sober, even with the pathetic amount of sleep I have gotten.

Hold on everyone here comes the hard part, the weekend :lala But just think how proud of ourselves we will be come monday when we make it!

Hi Muffin, I think it probably was the cigarettes that I craved/crave the most but I know if I gave in to that I'd end up drinking and if I drank I'd want to smoke so they're one and the same to me. Are you using anything to help with either the booze or fags? I did NRT for a bit at the start and that helped ease me into it, and working on learning AVRT. But to be honest I'll try anything if it's needed.

I am concentrating on one thing at a time so I have trippled my intake of soda and coffee and, well actually I have cut back on smoking because I am not at home slamming beer number seven right now and chain smoking to the point where I can't talk in the morning. Still smoking though, and I chew so I pretty much have a constant source of nicotiene in me. smoking might be next on the chopping block though.

INH... no NRT. I figure if I am going to be miserable with the quitting drinking, I don't want to drag out the nicotine withdrawal either. Get it all over with. I have a friend who quits cigs 10 years ago, and she is STILL on them. Scary. They aren't cheap either.

Friday night holding it down with some video games! :P Hang in there everyone. It's seeming worth it to me thus far. Spend time loving yourself. Slow down and apply logic to everything from every angle. Impulsive behavior doesn't work with sobriety.

Well I went to a meeting and I made it through 5 days. I know I can put a few days together. As Ive obviously been crying about I just don't know if I can make the long term commitment. I guess I should just keep trying to abstain for a while, nothing can go wrong with that except this mental torture. Tomorrows gonna be tough with st Patrick's day and all

20 days, need to lay off the coffee horrible anxiety :(

Try and think of tomorrow as just another day Tobo - you don't need to spend it in a bar drinking green beer :)

D

Do you guys find yourself drinking wayyyy to much coffee? I'm going with a friend tonight and yes we are going to a bar but I'm thinking of just getting an O-douls? Is this safe?