Margareth

Hi Artsoul,

Here is my facebook page: Travellerev Ev | Facebook (I hope so but otherwise search facebook for travellerev ev)

Be warned though, it is very political and a lot of my facebook friends are high profile peace activists and 911 truthers (Some of them are my absolute heroes and it is amazing to find the world so small and to be able to get in touch with them) and yeah I absolutely love it.

stephnc

Just wanted to report I picked up my 60 day chip on July 20...yay! I had a wicked, powerful urge to drink when I got up on the morning of the 20th...it was almost like my disease was saying "scr3w you and your 60 days" - but - the feeling passed with a little prayer and some phone calls. (Playing some online Boggle also helped, hee hee.)

Anyhow. Hugs to my fellow class of May 2010 folks.

:day6

Draciack

^^



Stephnc, congratulations on your 60 days

BobGT

Congrats Steph. 60 days is a big accomplishment.

BobGT

Kind of an off-topic post...

Hey Draciack. I just noticed your signature is from The Wire. I'm watching season 3 now on Netflix. Good show!

Now back to the regularly scheduled sober discussion.

artsoul

Hey Steph - Congratulations on the big 60!!! That's fantastic! I still get those urges to drink, too, but fortunately they're getting a little weaker and less often the longer I'm sober. I have real hope today that this trend will continue. Sobriety is starting to finally feel "normal" - and that's a really good thing!

I've been laid up in the bed the past few days after my back went out. I have arthritis and herniated discs and this happens to me every year or two. I have pain all of the time, and have to take Celebrex some days in order to work. But these episodes are the pits - when I get them, I can't stand up, can barely walk (sometimes have to crawl to the bathroom). It takes a week or two to get over it......

The doctor gave me steriods, hydrocodone and a muscle relaxant. The hydrocodone is awful, and gave me a migrane, so now I have to get through that, too. I can't imagine how anyone can get addicted to those things.

So.... I'm just going to keep resting, I guess. I know it will get better - it just puts a real damper on my plans. At least I have my laptop to keep me company. A few days and I'll be back in the saddle. Just feeling frustrated at the moment.

Hope everyone else is doing well and having a good week! Always good to hear from my MayFlower buddies!!!!

Draciack

Art, damn, that sounds terrible. Glad to see you're toughing it out. Is it one of those things that just flares up and you have to ride it out? Stay strong. I'm going to bake you a cake next week for the big 9-0 A digital cake at least.

Bob, I watched the first four seasons all over again during early sobriety. Something to pass the time at least The show's great, especially in comparison to all the super-fast paced shows out there. Nothing wrong with a fast pace, but I love the build-up of The Wire and how all the pieces come into play for a huge climax. Oh, and Omar rocks (as does Stringer Bell, and Bubbles, and...)

I had a breakthrough a couple of days ago. I had been blaming a lot of my struggles with emotion, making friends, etc., on early sobriety, becoming resentful about the whole process. I finally decided that it's all on me. Even during this rocky time, I'm responsible for my emotions and my actions. No more blaming anything else. I've been a lot calmer ever since.

Hope everyone's doing good.

BobGT

Draciack, that's a good attitude since you can't control anyone other than yourself. But don't spend too much time blaming yourself for past mistakes either. The past is gone. Just do your best in all things one day at a time and the future will take care of itself. Lol, I didn't mean to give a sermon. Oh well.

And Artsoul, I hope you are feeling better. Being sick and/or in pain is a real bummer. It's strange how some people get addicted to a drug like hydrocodone, and others hate the feeling it gives. I guess alcohol is the same. I know people who hate being even a little bit drunk.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

porkchopped

hey you MFers (snicker)..

wanted to pop in real quick before I hit the pavement with some NWA on the iPod. Going to work out and get in touch with my inner gangstah!

Glad to hear that you are all doing well - well... Artsoul - sorry about your back! That sucks. Hang in there.

Need to hit the road before it starts to pour rain. I will be back later. Oh, I am over a month smoke free so I guess that makes me clean AND sober???

xoxox!

Pork

Dee74

don't trip over your bling Pork

D

artsoul

Hey all you FlowerHeads out there! (oops, that sounds kinda druggy, doesn't it?)

Thanks for all your good wishes for my back .....
Still propped up in my bed (so frustrating), so there's not much to report from my end. I can manage to do some things (slowly), but it's almost like it's not worth it. Like really, how important IS it to pick up that candy wrapper I just dropped or load that dish into the dishwasher? Unless I can do it without pain, I'd rather not bother.

Been hanging out here, and watching crime dramas on TV..... also started a Facebook. Every day gets a teeny weeny bit better. At least I can walk straight up and change my clothes without grimacing.

Hey Draciack and Bob, what's the Wire about? A couple years ago when my back was bad, I rented the first 5 seasons of 24 and watched them nonstop...... it was crazy! When I was finally able to go up to the store for some basics, I was sure there were terrorists ready to jump me at every turn.

Porkchopperina - Congratulations on a smoke free month!! Wow, I'm so jealous, girl. Keep up the great work!

Happy Sober weekend to everyone.

-M Scott Peck (The Road Less Traveled)

artsoul

lmao good one, Dee!!

Draciack

Art, that quote reminds me of an old parable.

A man came to see a wise teacher. This man had problems. Maybe, he thought, the wise teacher could help him straighten them out.

The man tells the wise teacher of his problems: he is a farmer but sometimes it rains too much and ruins the crop; other times it rains too little and his crop withers. He has a good wife, a really good wife, but sometimes she nags. He has good kids, really good kids, but sometimes they don't show him enough respect. And sometimes...

The man goes on like this for some time. Finally he finished and waited for the wise teacher to say the words that would fix all his problems.

The wise teacher says: I cannot help you.

The man flips out: What do you mean 'you can't help me?'

The wise teacher says: Everybody's got problems. In fact, we've all got 83 problems and there's nothing you can do about it.

The man becomes furious: I thought you could help me! What good is your teaching then?

The wise teacher says: Well, maybe it will help you with the 84th problem.

The man asks: The 84th problem? What's that?

The wise teacher replies: You want to not have any problems.

---

I remember reading that a couple of years ago and laughing and laughing. Like, oh, so that's what I'm doing wrong.

I'll post more tomorrow. Too much time in a wet suit on this hot, hot day. My brain feels like scrambled eggs

Best of luck,

AtlasMcGee

CONGRATULATIONS stephnc!!! tHE big 6 0!

Art--- Back pain is one of the most painful & helpless experiences I have ever had. I still have to be careful or my neck can get messed up fairly easy and that throws everything out of whack. It is terribly frustrating.

I'm having a lazy Sunday . I'm about to continue working on step 4 work, I've put it off for a the past couple of weeks, due to trying to get into the new work schedule groove. I'm looking into my past resentments and fears. I actually enjoy working on this when I am actually doing it, but it is not something I look forward to doing, if that makes sense...haha. It is very necessary for me though, because I have to pinpoint the root of my problems so I can pull it out by it's root and see it for what it is. Only by doing this will I be able to identify the problem (or trigger) and properly maneuver around that trap.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful restful weekend & has a blessed week.

Thank you everyone for being here

Crow3000

Hey all

Cradulations steph on 60!! I'm also quickly approaching an anniversary and I find it can be kind of difficult sometimes.

Hope your back is feeling better Art. I through my back out past year and it was the worst.

I'm at q conference right now ... When I went to the same ine last year it was in new Orleans and I got hammered a few nights. What a drinking town that place is...! Anyway, the next morning I felt terrible and could hardly concentrate. This year I hope to really focus on the courses offered and do some so real networking.

Best of days to all around

artsoul

Hey Crow - yeah, watch that New Orlean's scene! I'm less than 2 hours from there, so know about walking the streets with a beer or hurricane in hand. Actually, though, there's alot to do there without drinking (have you been down to the Market, where all the vendors sell stuff off the boats?). The best part of NO is the food anyway, so that's what you need to go for. Hope you have a good conference!

Got through today without any pain medication or muscle relaxants(took the last of my steriods) but tried to do too much, so am back in the bed for now. It's not super painful - more like a headache in my back, but still maddening that I'm not able to do much. Oh well.....this too shall pass. (This is when I start force feeding myself positive thoughts:chatter and knowing that I have a TON to be grateful for - which includes YOU GUYS!!)

Atlas - thanks for the sympathy thoughts - So, is your job going well? Do you enjoy it? Glad you were able to have a nice lazy day - I'm sure you needed it after working at a new job all week. Inquiring minds want to know: did ya wear jeans Friday?

Draciack - That story is exactly what I got out of Peck's quote. It's almost like the paradox of accepting our powerlessness over alcohol. There's another quote from some famous guru person, where one of his admirers asks him "Why are you always peaceful?" (or something like that) and his reply is "Because I don't mind what happens." My problem is that I can only feel that way when nothing is going wrong, haha! But I do try to practice acceptance as much as possible.

I find myself getting impatient a LOT (happened both before and after stopping drinking). I practice feeling peaceful when I'm waiting in line, in traffic, or whatever. It does help. My biggest problem is feeling like I can never, ever get enough done - and I probably can't. Mainly it's because there's so much to do in my house/yard, etc. and it's only me......and since I live and work there, it's hard to get away from the constant reminders (this or that needs painting, sweeping, cleaning, trimming, etc.) Makes this back thing a real poke in the butt from the Powers That Be.

Have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow (I go every 3 months or so, to get refills for Prozac and Trazadone). I'll get to tell him I've been sober all this time, which is good, even though he didn't know the full extent of my drinking. He's a good guy - does alot of meditation to keep his own sanity, but he always looks like he's falling asleep when I'm talking to him. WEIRD.........

AtlasMcGee

Hahaha I haven't pulled the jeans out yet at the workplace. I am enjoying the job though, however my behind hurts from sitting all day. I was a server for almost 4 years prior & was constantly moving. There's a walking trail nearby that I recently began to take advantage of during lunch. My brother works in the building beside this trail so we walk together--precious family time!

Draciack

Atlas, when I worked Step 4 I procrastinated like no one's business Kicking those rocks over and seeing what was underneath...definitely uncomfortable, sort of like a yearly physical, but in the end it was rewarding. My ego didn't like it so much though

(Oh, and for me, identifying the problem was half the battle. Once I recognized the bad behavior/thoughts/action, I at least knew I had to fix it.)

Art, exactly like being powerless over alcohol. Once I accepted that, I no longer had to try to control my drinking because that was impossible, and I no longer could think that my alcohol abuse would get better, that moderation was possible, that I could have a relationship with alcohol at all (seriously, the fact that I talk about a relationship with alcohol is proof enough that I'm an alcoholic ).

Patience...early sobriety has a way of forcing me to be patient and wait for improvement rather than expecting to wake up on Day 8 and feel AWESOME. One day at a time.

Random observation from yesterday: I went to Chattanooga, stopped at a restaurant, and ate at the bar (I always feel a little weird about eating at a table in a restaurant by myself). It was all good until the guy next to me ordered 8 shots of beer. He and his friends had this look of pure rapture on their faces, a disturbing neediness, a lust for alcohol. I was repulsed, absolutely disgusted, maybe because I recognized my past behavior in someone else or maybe because when I bottomed out, I began to hate alcohol and my dependency on it. The strength of my reaction surprised me though. No jealously, no envy, just plain disgust, like I was about to witness a horrific act that went against the core of my beliefs. I can't say whether it's good or bad; just wanted to share.

Best,

Dee74

(((Artsoul)))

from one who has back problems and always does too much too soon - don't do what I do OK?

RGO

Hello amigos!

I'm back... I've been very busy lately but I didn't forget about you!

Today is day 72...!

I have some news that I want to share with you. These kind of news reminds me that quitting was the best decision I have made in long time.

This happened in Houston, TX last weekend.

A 19-year old woman killed a 25-years old police officer while she was driving drunk. He was riding a motorcycle home from work and was stopped at a red light when he was hit. The impact threw him 80 to 100 feet and he died at the scene.

She ran from the scene, but was caught about a minute later in a nearby field. She was given a blood-alcohol test that registered .147, over the legal limit of .08, and has been charged with intoxication manslaughter and failure to render aid.



It's a sad story, specially because both of them were young. He was a great guy who had been with the Sheriff's Office since 2008 and was a volunteer firefighter since he was 16 years old.

I'll let you know what's going to happen to her when she goes to trial.

I hope everyone is doing great and please stay out of trouble

Have a great day!