August Sobriety Group Pt 5

[traderjane]

Good job on the meeting today, TB. I'm proud of you!!!

I went to my meeting today and it was great. I got lots of phone numbers as well (all women). The men were nice as well - they just don't give out phone numbers. (Protocol, I guess.) They were extremely nice and welcoming. Three of the women were around my age and totally understood exactly what I've been through. Another one was 18 years old, but really sweet and has been sober for two years.

I must say that AA is a very welcoming place. For any of you on the fence about giving it a try, I would say it's probably going to be a positive experience if you do.

Good night!

[anono]

It will be day 70 for me tomorrow. It does get easier.

well done box!

Went to the meeting as promised. They still like me.

Yay TB... keep going it sounds very positive!!

((((zebra))))) just remember yesterday is finished TODAY is the day not to drink

When I walked out to the car..I looked up and saw the most amazing sunset, just breath taking.

I felt as though God had put it there, just for me, to reinforce my choice

...

rewarding your good choice.. thats great.. i feel someone looking after me at time, reinforcing my good decisions feels nice

must say that AA is a very welcoming place. For any of you on the fence about giving it a try, I would say it's probably going to be a positive experience if you do.

i'm so glad you have found it a welcoming place TJ, i really look forward to mine now...


how are the MIA's... breakfree? biddy. beckles ??/ where are you???

[tallcactus]

Good Morning classmates.
((OB,)) great job on those sober days, I know U have been struggling. Yes, I do miss the ocean. When I lived on the East coast, we had a summer home on the beach, just 2 blocks away. Now, I have 2 drive 3.5 hours to reach the closest one. R U close to the sea?
((Zebra)) sorry about the relapse, now get back on the wagon. :-) Lots of support here. Hey, is the purple van in the shop, new transmission needed or what; when R we all going to continue our trip?
((Anew..,)) U were very close. Such willpower that U have. I know that if it was in my shopping cart, it would of been down my throat soon after. It is funny how those drinking thoughts creep up. Was out to dinner Friday night with hubby and friends and heard lots of laughter, and saw the waiter bringing a large tray with so many different, cold/cool drinks to that table and thought, hmm, that looks good. Wow, I hated that in me, felt deprived.
((TJ and Thiry)) Very good job 2 both of U on going to an AA meeting. great support there. Haven't been 2 one in a couple of weeks but doing well, still sober. I go when I feel very weak.
((Box)) Hope yr tooth/teeth problems do go away soon.
((KC1)) Hope U R feeling better soon and glad 2 see U R spending time with friends.
Nothing new here. No plans today, except 2 finish 2 strings of pumpkins to hang on the front door, then to scrub down the patio 4 and up coming party that we R hosting 4 Halloween. There will B lots of music and booze 2. Kinda worried, but when I had over 5 years sober, I did fine.
Hope all R doing well.
MIA check in.
Stay strong everyone.

[PurpleCat]

Hi everyone.

(((zebra)))

Busy weekend for me. A couple of hockey games and a wedding. Beautiful wedding - the bride is one of the sweetest people I know. She's a second (?) cousin (her dad and my mom are cousins). Got to get the patio furniture put up for winter - don't think we'll be using it any more, not that we used it much this non-summer anyways.

Hope all stay strong and have a great rest of the weekend!

PS - good for you, Bubba. :-) You too, TJ.

[KC1]

KC checking in on Sunday morning. Slept for 15 hours last night! The only thing I had to drink was WATER. Got all of my blood work back and my white blood cell count is elevated. Means my body is fighting an allergy or some kind of infection. Guess the doc will put me back on anti-biotics. My back still hurts but not as bad. The ice/hot thing every few hours seems to be helping.
Hanging around the house today for the most part - going to Trader Joe's to pick up something for dinner as hubby is going out to watch football. Bringing in the houseplants that are outside, getting the winter clothes out, etc. Boring but necessary stuff like that. Yuck. I hate winter.
Off to get more coffee for now.....will check in later on.

KC

[thirtybubba]

TC, tranny jobs on magical flying vans, purple or otherwise, take time... those 'upward' gears aren't covered on the basic ASE tests, as I recall. Need at least a Master, possibly one who graduated from Hogwart's...

Thanks, y'all, again. Still sober, although starting to wonder if it's worth keeping on trying... since it seems inevitable. On the other hand, then I think about how my little drunken escapades are escalating--from guilt and feelings of failure, which I didn't have before, especially the latter--and I don't think I can go back (I mean physically) to how I was before. Just keep going to hard too fast...

I just got my internet back (again). Thing goes down once a day, sometimes it seems like. And it takes probably 20 minutes to restart Vista, it won't go down easily.

And then advises me of an unexpected shutdown--gr ^&^%#. Maybe the computer didn't anticipate that the 25th time I clicked "circle" ">" "Shut Down" it might work... but I was hoping for it.

So I walked around some, smoked a couple cigarettes I realized I didn't even want to... just bored.

Called all those people I got numbers from yesterday... can't fathom why people keep telling me to call them and when I do, tell me alright call me tomorrow. Is this a test?

Got a lot to catch up on--luckily I had the flu/cold/? in public, so I'm sorta excused for the rest of the week, and a lot of my classes on Wed/Thu were furloughed anyways. On the other hand... I can't go back to the library for at least a week. Don't know what I did in there, but I never did find that book--but I did find the print out with the call letters, and I have never in my life printed out call letters... that's what palms are for.

So I think I'm gonna look at my syllabi, and prioritize this week. Try to make a little schedule. It's gonna be tight--again.

And water's good for you, KC... I used to love water... that & lemonade were always my only two non-alcoholic drinks. But I'm starting not to like water so much since it's all I can afford...

Anyways, that's a lot more than I meant to write. Guess I'm avoiding schoolwork again... good thing I didn't have internet access my first 3 years of school... I never would have done anything.

Take care,
-TB, sort of hungry even though she keeps eating things

[KC1]

KC here.

Sunday night - 9:15pm EST. Just watched the Phila Eagles get their a$$ handed to them by Oakland. Whoo Hoo. I bet on the Steelers for my suicide pool so I am still in the running for the $80k grand prize. Made it halfway. Yeah, yeah, I live in Phila area, but can't stand the Phila Eagles...the Beagles.

Anyway, hubby and I are sitting here having a very nice conversation about life. Do I keep my golf club membership next year (no). Does he sell his airplane (yes!). What is important to us? Is it having all of these material things (no). So he is going to sell his plane (assuming he can sell it for what we owe on it) and I am giving up my golf country club membership next year. These material things just are not important to us any more. My sobriety is important. My new job is important. Having our Caribbean vacation is important.

Tonight has been a life changing experience for us. Go figure. No reason why. Just happened this way. Going to notify the golf ladies tomorrow that I am leaving the Club and he is going to put the plane up for sale.

Bye for now.

KC

[anono]

Guess I'm avoiding schoolwork again

lol tb, you sound like my daughter!!

My new job is important

kc i must have missed this post, what is your new job, tell me all about it..
are you still going to play golf?

[bdiddy5522]

Hey everyone. I am here. Sorry I was MIA for the weekend. My wife and I went to the Nebraska Huskers football game over the weekend. So I was away from my computer. We had a blast and so much fun to be at the game. Even though the Huskers lost BOOOOOO! It was still fun to get away for a bit!

I finally got caught up on the posts from the weekend. Hang in there those of you that are doing well! That is so awesome! For those of you that are struggling? Keep going! I know it is hard, believe me!!!! But as long as we have air in our lungs, we are still fighting this fight! God is not done with us yet!

Hugs, Brent

[sphalerite]

Just a quick check-in to say I'm still here, and still sober!
Wednesday will be ONE month for me and hubby! Seriously, that is CRAZY...

We are looking forward to getting our one month medallion/coin/whatever they call it at our AA home group on Thursday--to us it's a big thing--ONE WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT BOOZE! Never thought I could do it--and be HAPPY (well, I'm happy at least some of the time anyway--more than I ever thought was possible when I first decided to stop the insanity).

Take care every one, I'll try to stop in more often!

[bdiddy5522]

Sphal- You are an inspiration to us all! I remember we made the goal to do this together and have the same start date. Well, you are kicking my butt, but I am still working on it. I have WAY more sober days than I have ever had before, so I consider it a partial victory. Not perfect, but better than a couple months ago. So proud of you, and keep going! WHOO HOO!!!!! Hugs.

[thirtybubba]

Originally Posted by sphalerite

--to us it's a big thing--

Yeah, I think that's generally a big thing around here, Sphal, especially in bubbaland.

Congrats... & glad to hear that y'all are happy... that's important to me.


I'm only 28 days behind you. Sheesh.

And I managed to still be recovering from the flu at a public event... that I was hosting. Great. It went well in spite of me. Next time I get the flu, I gotta remember it might not be inconvenient, but delaying it with alcohol might knock it into a *really* inconvenient moment.

And my test is delayed till next week, soooo... all I gotta do is not drink for a week. I know it's higher than the day they recommend, but the only way I can get through the next week is to not drink for all of this one. At this point, too much is on the line. No specifics yet, but I think I'm going to have to alter my strategy somewhat until December. The quitting days are the ones I'm getting behind and the drinking days are the ones I no longer remember... this is far worse than when I got here in July. At this rate (even though I still have an AB average... so maybe grains of salt are needed) I'm going to mess up this semester.

Take care y'all,
-TB full of ex-flu and lunch and kinda not thinking clear

[ANEWAUGUST]

Sphal..way to go to you and your hubby!!!!

Today is a beautiful, clear fall day...I love weather that reinforces my mood!!!!

When I went to NY., I was reminded of how much I love pro-sports!!! Where I live it is all about college sports, and I enjoy those..but, I got back in touch with my pro-sports
teams feeling when I was on vacation.

[Zebra1275]

Zebra, checking in. I went to promptcare yesterday morning to get some valium to help with the shakes. I had about a 4 day bender. Went to bed sober last night, but did not sleep well. I'm not feeling well today, tired not much appetite. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I really want to be sober, I don't want to ever feel like this again. Wish me luck.

[KC1]

Anono - my "new" job is my promotion that I got back in August. You may have read about it. Still with the same company, just in a much larger role and now on the exec team. I am still playing golf - in fact - one of my staff told me I should ask that the COMPANY pay for my golf club membership. Gees, never thought about that one. I have been paying for it myself for so long I never thought to ask it be a "perk" of the promotion. I will try it and see what happens. Gotta do some work now, speaking of work.

KC

[traderjane]

Hi everyone -- nice to see so many posts here. Congrats to those doing well and hugs to those who need it!!!

I had a really bad day at work. Very, very bad. I was crying at my desk trying to be strong and get my work done. I can't go into all the details, but I felt as though my boss was going to fire me. He did not. I didn't do anything wrong, but business is business and if you're not making lots of money for the company... why should they keep you on. The consulting business is a bit brutal at the moment.

So.... that's the scoop. I was really sad.

Went to yoga tonight and it helped. The thought of drinking never crossed my mind because I now know that it doesn't solve anything. In fact, it makes things a lot worse.

Take care everyone.

[thirtybubba]

Zebra, remember this feeling... write it down, take a picture, something. I always forget it... sooner or later. Not good, that way.

Hey y'all, how's Monday/Tuesday?

Mine was horrible... but I survived. Started with me in a suit, and ended with me absolutely miserable. O wait, I'm usually miserable if I have to wake up and put on a suit. That's rarely good anyways, although I suppose that'll change after college. Then I got the flu recovery full force... brought on by a combination of detox and so on... and another somewhat cyclic 'illness'... (yeah, detox I count in that group too...). And I had to sit down for pretty much the whole day. Ughhh.

Oh, and one of those people I talked to got me a job and told me about it around 5. By 7 it was impossible to hire me anytime soon, due to x y and z. Actually there was a w in there too. 4 reasons not to hire me, and I don't know what they expect me to do. Because I cannot make it to December--November's fine--any way it's looked at, it made it easier for me to rationalize last week. I'm kinda worried about it, well, my reaction, to be honest. I think I'm gonna try and pay the weekly payments a bunch in advance this week.

Well, I'll deal with it all tomorrow. Good news, my teacher was fine with the delay in an assignment due last Wednesday.

Right now, I'm tired. Night y'all. Take care. Keep getting more days. I'm finishing day 3--and surprisingly for a day 3, if you handed me a cupful of whiskey right now, I'd look at you funny.

Too tired.
-TB

[anono]

ahh kc.. i thought it must have just happened.. i new about that one, glad to hear your still playing golf... good idea asking them to pay as so much business does happen on the golf course doesnt it!

TJ.... i am so glad you didnt have a drink... your right it wont help... i am sorry to hear about your bad day.... .. i hope it gets better


kate

[traderjane]

HI friends!! Kate, CONGRATS on 70 days. That is so cool. You must be feeling really good!

I'm on Day 7. That's good for me. Since I have no desire to ever drink again, I intend to just keep 'piling up' the sober days.

Yes, TB, yesterday was a BAD day. I agree. My Dad always used to say to me, "Laura, some days you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you." Yesterday was a bear eating me kind of day. But today is a new day and I'm going to face life's challenges head on. Drinking would not have helped and I would have been hungover today trying to pick up the pieces again. Oh, what a horrible cycle that was.

Have a great Tuesday, everyone!

[OceanBound]

So my little experiment failed and I've been drinking since Saturday. Lasted only 6 days. The truth is I don't think I'm ready to give up alcohol. I know it's wrong for me and I know it'll eventually kill me but that buzz when you are still not too drunk is the closest I've come to feeling happy for as long as I remember. How can I give that up?

Anyway, I'm out of ideas here. I want to scare or will myself into sobriety but it doesn't seem to work this way. I would have celebrated 6 months yesterday had I not restarted this madness. Sorry to disappoint you all.

Ocean

[bdiddy5522]

Hello everyone! Looks like so many of us are doing well! TJ, TB, Anono, and Zebra getting back on track! So happy for all of you, and the power of self will taking over! It is a tough struggle as so many of you know, but not one that we can't win!

Like I have said before, I am not counting days. All I know is I haven't had a drop for 3 days now, and it feels good! I just want more of these feelings! I didn't sleep for crap last night! Only about 4 hours as I was up at 6 to meet my guys for breakfast. I have a seminar I have to give today to a bunch of senior citizens on estate planning, and hope I don't fall asleep while I am up there! haha.

Weird thing happened last night, and I don't know if it was a dream or reality. I was laying on my side trying to go to sleep, and maybe I was asleep, don't know. But All the sudden my heart felt like it was beating like 200 beats per minute. I felt like I was about to black out, and couldn't breathe. It only lasted about 10 seconds, then everything was fine and I felt normal. I am wondering if it was just a muscle twitch in my side? Possibly a dream? Or if this really happened? I have never had anything like this happen before, so just wondering if anyone has any insight on this? I know we can't give medical advice here, and I am not looking for any. Just wondering if anyone else has had something like this happen.

Here is to a sober day! And a sober one it will be. I have a big meeting tomorrow with an attorney AND CPA that I am hoping to bring on staff to our firm to do estate planning and legal work, as well as income tax for our clients. Wish me luck!

Hugs, Brent

[traderjane]

Good luck, Brent!!!

And OB -- please don't give up. We're here for you.

Laura

[bdiddy5522]

OB- I know all too well that feeling you are describing. I always called it the "calm before the storm" where everything just feels normal and right, but you also know what is coming afterward! It IS a good feeling, and I think all of us would agree with you! But I think more importantly is you have to know what is going to come after that and get out of there! We know the storm is coming. Is it worth it? I also know what you mean about being happy for that brief moment. I swear we are the same person. But what I have gotten a little taste of is that when you are sober for a period of time, your whole day feels like that calmness you describe. Yes, life throws crap in your way, but it isn't anything you can't deal with. Hang in there buddy! You can do this!

[ANEWAUGUST]

Hello everyone...

well...my resolve fell by the wayside...slipped, fell, on my butt...

Zebra....I am like you, going thru the physical crap of withdrawing..to say nothing of the emotional bs I am dealing with.

Trying not to think of myself as a loser....but,....geez louise...how many time do I need to be hit over the head.

[traderjane]

((((ANEW, Zebra and Ocean))))

I just wanted to say that when I was drinking I loved getting into the "comfortable buzz" phase, too. Funny thing was I got buzzed REALLY FAST, like after 1 drink. I would immediately start doing stupid things that would get progressively stupider the longer I drank. I was someone who while buzzed, never really thought about how I was going to feel the next day -- I was too caught up in the moment. Maybe that is why we drink? To stay in the moment and not have to deal with the future and all the other crap and consequences life shells out?

In any event, the unfortunate reality is that that feeling of being carefree and happy just doesn't last. It is so shortlived and followed by (for me) a form of hell on earth in terms of a physical and emotional hangover.

Being sober has provided me with a sense of calm, which I think is even better (way better) than that feeling of being buzzed -- and more than that, it's real, not the result of a drug.

So let's all pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get back in the van!!!