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Old 10-14-2009, 11:52 AM   #26 (permalink)
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PC- probably nobody on this thread. I go up and down, right and wrong, and that's what I do... I'm not a reliable specimen, tehee.

Sooooo, TJ, do tell... how'd it go?

Brent, you guessed right. And, since I think you're about a year off from me, which somehow matters in school (my friends in real life--ie, through work or a common past--tend to be of different generations) how do you have a conversation in facebook? I got an account, I don't understand it really. Probably doesn't help my isolation from people here. I get invites, including from a girl I know who wants me to be a farmer. ??? I'm a farmer's daughter... She's a city girl from the Philipines... huh? Am I looking at this too logically? I decided a few months back to just accept everybody into MySpace and see where it goes... it's actually kinda amusing. But my facebook is my real name/real photo... don't wanna degrade myself like that myspace account. Again, am I thinking about this too seriously for late 20s? Don't know how to act my age really... such a shame.

It's wet and miserable, I got accidentally locked out of my house into the desert rainstorm (if you're not from the desert, understand rain comes once a year or so... flash flooding is how it lands--all at once basically). 3 hours. I was miserable, and I guess coming down... solved that one though. The rain's still outside, my pajama legs are still wet from the knees down, ain't no getting warm today.

Take care y'all,
-TB, still from August and still with more smileys on her calendar than letters...
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Old 10-14-2009, 12:27 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Report on my AA Meeting

So I went to a noon meeting today, figuring that is when "respectable" people who work would probably go to one (what was I afraid of? Skid row bums?)

It was REALLY good. I don't know what else to say. To see that whole room filled with "respectable looking" people -- all ages, men, women, nationalities, races, etc. ALL OF THEM ALCOHOLICS, just like me.

I just introduced myself as a new person but did not share any of my story. Wanted to see how these things work first. Many people shared things, so it was interesting. I enjoyed it and at the end they did this prayer thing where everyone holds hands and says some prayers. Now I'm not too into praying, but I went along with it because it was fine and, besides, I'm used to "touchy feely" stuff from my yoga classes. To be honest, I actually did pray to God last night to relieve me from this burden of drinking. That was while my head was pounding, I was nauseated, and could not sleep.

So one of the interesting things at the meeting was that the speaker (or leader) said, "You are not here today by accident. There is a reason for it." I know that meant different things to different people there, but perhaps more for me because it was my first AA meeting (not counting the one I went to back in....??? last fall???) and I very nearly did not go today. I got showered, dressed, made the drive there, found parking, etc. and I made it -- for a reason.

At the end three very nice women introduced themselves to me and welcomed me. Two of them gave me their phone numbers, hugged me, etc. and said they were so glad I came to the meeting today. One said she is going to call me to make sure I keep going to meetings and that I can and should call either of them if I feel tempted to drink.

So that is my report. I will have the date report later. I have already decided I am ordering cranberry juice on the rocks and if he asks why.... I'll say I'm not drinking these days...

Brent, funny about the Facebook stuff. Yeah, I'm on there way too much and we do get into heated political debates! I'm trying to stay away from them from now on. It's not good for my blood pressure

Later, all!

TB --- are you okay?
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Old 10-14-2009, 12:58 PM   #28 (permalink)
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That is awesome Laura! So glad it was a positive experience. You took a HUGE step and one that I have not even come close to getting the courage to take! Very proud of you!
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Old 10-14-2009, 01:01 PM   #29 (permalink)
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So just wrote an e-mail to my date tonight about meeting (where and when, etc.) and I casually mentioned that I won't be drinking alcohol (that I have stopped "for a while" and that I feel healthier without it, but that it's totally fine if he has something alcoholic. I probably didn't even need to do that, but just wanted to get it out in the open ahead of time...
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Old 10-14-2009, 01:37 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Maybe I'm totally "out of it" (wouldn't be surprised) but it seems to me like that was an extra step...

Most of the guys I meet (and yes, I'm 29, but I pass for 16) want to know if I smoke weed, then they leave my little world. Seems to me you shouldn't have to explain not drinking as much as I don't explain not smoking marijuana (truth is, I'm allergic lol). I tell people I don't drink, nobody seems to have a problem with it (or maybe that's why I have no friends), even though here on SR that's more of a known hit or miss fact...

Funny, I'm a farmer's daughter but naive by no means... has the world progressed to the point where an urchin is actually forced to think...?

Gotta go check on my pride & joy... be back y'all.

Still thinking... and aimin' for a month solid of smiley faces...
-TB, drinking 'cause there's no instruction book for handling 5,000 people without alcohol...why not actually...
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Old 10-14-2009, 01:38 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thirtybubba View Post
Brent, you guessed right. And, since I think you're about a year off from me, which somehow matters in school (my friends in real life--ie, through work or a common past--tend to be of different generations) how do you have a conversation in facebook? I got an account, I don't understand it really. Probably doesn't help my isolation from people here. I get invites, including from a girl I know who wants me to be a farmer. ??? I'm a farmer's daughter... She's a city girl from the Philipines... huh? Am I looking at this too logically? I decided a few months back to just accept everybody into MySpace and see where it goes... it's actually kinda amusing. But my facebook is my real name/real photo... don't wanna degrade myself like that myspace account. Again, am I thinking about this too seriously for late 20s? Don't know how to act my age really... such a shame.
Regarding the request to be a farmer - there's two (of many) games on Facebook that involve farming. One is FarmVille and the other is Farm Town. I do FarmVille. You have neighbors, send each other stuff, and plant and harvest crops and take care of animals. The more neighbors you have the easier it is to do things such a expand your farm.

Conversations can be done privately (like our pm's) or on each other's wall where everyone who is a friend can see them. Or you can do a chat.
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Old 10-14-2009, 01:39 PM   #32 (permalink)
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I'm glad you liked the meeting, Laura. Sounds like you have taken a step in a very positive direction.
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Old 10-14-2009, 03:12 PM   #33 (permalink)
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I know it seems silly that you have to explain "not drinking" but at my age (45) and in my social circles, it's very common to drink alcohol socially and not so common to go out for a soda, etc. There's just always that awkward moment when the waiter says, "Can I get you a glass of Chardonnay? Or a pomegranat martini perhaps? " and you say, "Oh, club soda for me." And then your date or friend feels awkward like, "Why isn't she getting a drink? Should I get an alcoholic drink?" So I was trying to avoid that ahead of time.

Anyway.... I will let you all know how it goes!
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Old 10-14-2009, 04:32 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Day 3, sober and exhausted. Not sleeping well and it's catching up with me. Spent the day sleepwalking at work.

TJ, good luck with the new plan! It's great that you found the meeting helpful!

TB, good job on the smiley faces!

I never got into Facebook. I have over 100 "friends" there and I do check in once in a while but only to read about what people have been up to. Don't even have my real picture there, just a funny animal picture.
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Old 10-14-2009, 05:47 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Hi Everyone...

I am back from vacation. It was wonderful.

Going to catch up on the posts.....

Still sober.
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Old 10-14-2009, 05:57 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Good job OB!

Welcome back Anew
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:06 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Hello (((Everyone)))! :)

traderjane...I think it's great that you attended the meeting! Even better that you were able to be in a group that you felt comfortable in! :) WOW! What an experience you are going through. I totally agree that it was no accident. It's quite amazing that you prayed to God last evening and wound up at an AA meeting today :) You sound very strong and determined! Well, you ARE both of those things and if you set your mind to this, I know you can and WILL! :)

sphalerite... I am SO HAPPY for you and your husband...It's SO AWESOME that you are taking this journey TOGETHER. Totally awesome. Congrats on your first of many wonderful, healthy trips to your beloved cabin :)

I have missed connecting with you all on a daily basis. The first thing I noticed when I visited tonight is that ANEW has not checked in. (((ANEW)))...As I stated in my PM to you, this thread is not the same without your cheerful, uplifting avatar...it suits you perfectly! :)

I have been doing wonderfully! :) Being away from the computer is really hard because it's my main source of connection, but it's been unbelievably productive. I am a much better wife, mother, and individual when I am not on the computer all day long. It's really hard for me to regulate myself. I was in a habit of getting up in the morning, grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting in front of the computer for the first few hours of the day. It was not a good start for me. I had a hard time breaking myself away and then I felt defeated because the morning had gotten away from me! :O Honestly, my computer addiction has been more harmful than anything else in my life. In a lot of ways, it has kept me from LIVING my life. I envy those of you who can find balance :)

As for the addiction that brought me here...I am no longer drinking on a daily or even weekly basis. I am still working on the desire to say NO when I am in social situations. I will get there :) For now, I am in a very good place. Life is good.

If anyone wants to know *my* secret to staying away from alcohol, it is to immerse yourself (completely) in more important things ;) I know some of you beautiful people find yourself in a place in your life where you don't know what that is and my advice to you would be to immerse yourself in finding out what it is...and then GO FOR IT :)

Sending lots of love and hugs to all of you,
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:14 PM   #38 (permalink)
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ANEW! Welcome back from vacation! I hope you had a fabulous time! :) I guess you WERE too busy enjoying life to check in ;) SO GOOD to see you! :) Isn't that amazing that we posted at the same time! Talk about a connection! :)

I have to say...you are all inspiring me to check out an AA meeting...even though I have broken the daily/weekly drinking addiction, I still have unfinished business. I must deal with the infrequent social aspects...there is no such thing as "just one" in my alcoholic brain :( Ugh.

Okay, well...it's time for me to sign off :) So good to see everyone!
Love and hugs,
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:20 PM   #39 (permalink)
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OK, not having much luck trying to upload pics. It says there is an error. If anyone can tell me how to do that to the thread, I would appreciate it. Just send me a PM so we don't cutter up the board. Thanks everyone! Hugs!

Brent
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:33 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Hey Brent!

See? I am bad. Didn't I say I was leaving like a half hour ago? I've been trying to catch up on e-mail and online business before I have to head home! LOL I know you said PM, but I'd like to post to the board because I want to make sure I understand correctly...There is an icon in the REPLY box that looks like a postcard. It is yellow and looks like a mountain/peak with a stamp in the upper right hand corner. I believe this is how you insert an image or a picture. From looking at the pop-up, it almost appears that you need to use an online picture support program like Shutterfly or Google Picasa, which would lead me believe that you cannot upload pictures directly from your computer into a post...This confuses me because I know you can upload a picture from your computer for an avatar...hmmm....Hopefully I am wrong and someone else knows the trick! :)
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:54 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Hi Breakfree ::waves:: Good to see you here again. Glad things are going well for you. I know what you mean about the computer. I spend too much time on it too.
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Old 10-14-2009, 07:12 PM   #42 (permalink)
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TJ - I applaud you for taking the time to email your date about your "not drinking". I am about the same age as you..a bit older...but I agree with you. If you did not order an alcoholic beverage, your date might think he cannot. My mom has a friend who is an alcoholic and whenever my mom is with her, she won't order a drink because she doesn't think she is allowed because her friend does not drink. The friend has told her time and time again that it is SHE, not my mom, who is the alcoholic and my mom can order a glass of wine, etc. Will be waiting to hear about the date! Hope it works out!

As for me, I am pretty much bedridden tonight. I am propped up in my bed right now and have been here since I got home from work. Have ice packs all over my back and leg. My left leg is pretty much numb (not from the ice). Looking more and more like I have a pinched sciatic nerve. Great.......not much to do for that but rest and relaxation and that ain't gonna happen this week. Gotta get better for the Halloween Festival next weekend. The Halloween avatars have me thinking about a costume. I want to be something that no one will recognize...no one. So something with a lot of makeup or some kind of mask I can buy. The Witch is the first thing that comes to mind. I can color my face green, etc. Like the Wicked Witch of the North. Ha ha ha my little pretties....oh man, I am losing it. Maybe the ice has gone to my brain. Costume suggestions are welcome!!!!!

KC


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Old 10-14-2009, 08:33 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Hey everyone!!!

Breakfree!

KC -- So sorry to hear that. OUCH. Feel better. Love the witch costume idea. I just love Halloween in general!

Welcome back, ANEW!!!

Well here is the date report. He was a super nice guy. Really sweet. Upbeat and funny, a gentleman, we had a good time. (The problem: I'm not sure the physical attraction is there, at least for me. Ughhhh.... it's always the way.)

The not drinking thing worked out REALLY well. When I got there, he was sitting at the bar with drinking a club soda. I ordered my cranberry on the rocks w/ lime (YUM!) and we got some appetizers. He never once asked why I wasn't drinking alcohol, which is how it should be really. He was enough of a diplomat to not ask, or maybe he did not even care -- who knows? So this drinking of cranberry juice at the bar has opened up a whole new world of socializing for me. I don't need alcohol to socialize!!! I am just as fun, bubbly, silly, talkative etc without alcohol and probably more interesting! It got me thinking: why exactly do we think we need to drink alcohol at a bar anyways?

The other day (while I was still in my drinking phase....ahem...) I had to stop at the wine store for a bottle. This was when I was pretending I was not an alcoholic. I need to stop doing that --- in fact, I think I have. Anyways, my 6 year old son said, "Why do we need wine anyways?" I was actually stumped trying to answer his question. Children are so logical and smart at times. It is us adults that get mixed up with all sorts of stuff they don't need.

I can relate to the comptuer addiction, too. I spend way too much time on here in general as well. Too many websites and things to check on. You have to try to balance it all out somehow. Not easy.

Well, it's bed time for me. G'night!!!
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Old 10-15-2009, 01:02 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Hi all just caught up on posts
Tj I'm so glad u liked the meeting, I too have had positive experiences I have been going on a regular basis and am getting more and more out of them as time goes on. Also glad to hear date went well.
I'm on my phone doing this and it's hard to type so I'll log on later

Bye all
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Old 10-15-2009, 07:50 AM   #45 (permalink)
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Good morning!!! I am doing GREAT on this wet, cold miserable morning in DC!!!

My AA meeting yesterday was a real boost to my spirits. I finally feel like I'm getting a handle on this. I'm going to keep going to meetings and not drink.

So off to work and then yoga class! Have a great day, everyone!!!
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Old 10-15-2009, 08:38 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Good Morning August peeps...

I experienced wonderful fall weather while on vacation. I feel invigorated!!!

I didn't realize how much I needed a break until I got one.

Glad to see folks still here, making positive choices with their lives.

Hoping everyone has a great day.
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Old 10-15-2009, 04:02 PM   #47 (permalink)
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morning all... i'm off to work have a good evening!
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Old 10-15-2009, 05:11 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Good morning, Aussies. And evening, West coast Americans. Night, East coasters...

I'm still here, I let this cold/flu/whatever I got get the better of me, and I'm feeling mighty down because of it.

Drinking too, don't know which begat the other, but I recall thinking that a shot or two would delay the onset of the sickness till I could afford to be sick. That's progressed by a couple bottles, and, more disturbing to me, a hallucinatory form of a blackout in which I've walked through the rain in my socks (got locked out of my apartment) and driven...

Finally off probation at school--finally (after 4 semesters of hunting) tracked down who had put me on academic probation, only to learn they had done so accidentally and they're sorry.

Grr.

Well, I'm still here and nobody knows about me... yet. Don't know how.

I've been thinking a lot about that thread the other day "are you done?" I'd have to say I'm not, based on the proof provided by the fact that I keep going out. But I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to sober up for good... Can't tell y'all how much I want that. It just doesn't show out in my behavior, and I'm more confused than anything. I guess it's the addiction.

I oughtta be ran outta whiskey in a few hours, and then I reckon I'll be back. Starting over--again. I'm so sorry, but I'm running out of enthusiasm for even saying that. The powers that be at school either don't notice, have no sense of smell, or, what I'm thinking, don't care. I missed a major on campus event, but everybody is forgiving me because I'm sick--and I got the sneezing and the red nose to back it up...

Oh and I went to the AA meeting on campus... it was cancelled I guess, with no notice. Wasn't very heartening (opposite of disheartening?). I kinda needed it, or some evidence that someone might care that a sober me is better than this drunken version... Didn't get that evidence. I'm apparently doing just fine says a lot of people... I know I'm not, but I think I'm the only one who knows that.

Take care y'all,
TB
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Old 10-15-2009, 05:36 PM   #49 (permalink)
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TB, I know you are going through some hard times. I don't have any profound words of wisdom, but know that I'm thinking about you and wish you the best.
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Old 10-15-2009, 07:10 PM   #50 (permalink)
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TB-please know how much I care about you...and hate that you are struggling with drinking again...

Your avator reminds me of Count Chocula (not sure that I spelled that right)...

Peace
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