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| Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 14,735
| August Sobriety Group Part 4
__________________ Anna ![]() And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 51anna For This Useful Post: | BreakFree (09-23-2009), tallcactus (09-19-2009) |
| | #2 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 346
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Aww, TB. Shake this off - you were doing so great!
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to PurpleCat For This Useful Post: | anono (09-19-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-19-2009), tallcactus (09-19-2009), thirtybubba (09-20-2009) |
| | #3 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 540
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Good Evening... I just got in from our volleyball tournament. We came in second, lost by two points. Very exciting...also, very exhausting. I hoped to see a few more of the ole gang here today. TB..you know it is the addiction...time to kick it to the curb... |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ANEWAUGUST For This Useful Post: | anono (09-19-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-19-2009), tallcactus (09-19-2009), thirtybubba (09-20-2009) |
| | #4 (permalink) |
| Person... Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,250
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Ok, I'm back. Sorta. Cycling down, but it feels like Hell. Staring at the floor, I managed to drink down four bottles in... how many days? Not even sure. My hands are shaking, my head feels like somebody ran it over a few times in a row, and I'm not real impressed with myself. But I am quitting, my mind is made up. This is silly. -TB, who's barely aware but somehow aware that drama happened |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to thirtybubba For This Useful Post: |
| | #5 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 540
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Take care of yourself TB, you know the drill, drink water, keep that candy around, and hold on tight. We are right there with you... |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ANEWAUGUST For This Useful Post: | anono (09-19-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-19-2009), tallcactus (09-19-2009), thirtybubba (09-20-2009) |
| | #6 (permalink) |
| hypercube |
Wildrover, my thoughts are with you and your family. TB, back on your bike, woman. My house is a pigsty, I'm going to attempt to sort through some of the clutter. If I can get two domestic jobs done today I'll be pleased. Exciting, I know.
__________________ There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to box3 For This Useful Post: | anono (09-19-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-19-2009), tallcactus (09-19-2009), thirtybubba (09-20-2009) |
| | #7 (permalink) |
| Person... Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,250
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ANew, Box, Dee--thanks. Box, when you type it it sounds mundane--but when you get it done, the thrill is real... Something to hold onto. -TB, going through Hell again. |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to thirtybubba For This Useful Post: | anono (09-19-2009), box3 (09-19-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-19-2009), tallcactus (09-19-2009) |
| | #9 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Northeastern United States
Posts: 186
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Sunday morning - another beautiful day here in the northeast. Sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky. I haven't been online in a few days so had a chance to catch up on the posts while drinking my coffee. Hubby is out playing in a charity softball game already. (My mother is also in town visiting so that is limiting online time!). Shakespeare - thanks for suggesting the Orthodox Church. There is one less than 2 minutes from my house, so maybe I'll check it out one of these days. TB - thanks for your honesty about thinking I am living a "priviledged" life. Just because you have a nice house, a good job, nice car, and nice things does not necessisarily make you a happy person. My therapist once asked me "how often do you experience true joy?" I can't answer the question. For all that I have, I don't think I am really happy. I am not sure what it will take to make me truly happy. It's not the material things, that's for sure. Having good friends, those who you can truly count on, might be one of those things. I do have one friend, who I don't see that often - I know she would drop everything for me in a heartbeat. But I don't see her but once or twice a month and that is usually at some group gathering. Anono - sure I will tell you why AA didn't work for me. It's not private. I went to a couple of meetings within the past month, when I first decided to embark on this difficult journey. The first one was very "religious" centered - opened with a prayer, lots of religious undertones. That's not me. The other one I went to was "unfriendly". Clearly, I was new. I didn't expect people to rush up to me and greet me, but most of the people had their own "cliques" and stuck with them. I felt like I was intruding. Another one which might have been the most normal (not knowing what to expect of course), was just people talking about nothing. I feel as though I get more support being on SR and "talking" with all of you, even though it's online. I can't see where going to a meeting would help me not drink. Anyhow, that's not to say it won't work for anyone else. It's just not my cup of coffee. I don't know what the future holds for me regarding drinking. I really want to stop. I do so well and then I seem to fall down again. I keep getting back up and trying again. I try to equate this with how I would handle something in my business world. I would allow a mistake once, but I would never allow the SAME mistake again. I tell my staff that. It's okay to make a mistake, make it, learn from it, and move on. But don't make the SAME mistake again. And here I am, behind the scenes, making the same mistake, day in and day out. I know, my mistake is an addiction, and their screwing up a balance sheet is a mistake. Big difference. So, I am off to the golf course again to practice. Actually, tomorrow my hubby and I are playing golf together in a charity golf tournament. He does not play golf, as I've said before, but he will hack the ball around for this particular charity. So we will be together tomorrow. Whether it will be fun or not, I don't know. He hits the ball like he is whacking a softball. ![]() I hope everyone has a great day. I am rooting for all of you! And for you football fans, I picked Minnesota to win in my football pool, so go Vikings! KC |
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| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to KC1 For This Useful Post: | anono (09-24-2009), box3 (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-20-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-20-2009) |
| | #10 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 346
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Have fun at golf! My hubby has a baseball swing, but is a pretty good golfer even so. DS is off to golf now - he's a very good golfer. I am leaving in a few hours for a conference. Unless I stop to buy one of those netbooks (which I am seriously considering), I will be pretty much off line until Wednesday. So hope you all have a good few days! |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to PurpleCat For This Useful Post: | anono (09-24-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-20-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-20-2009) |
| | #11 (permalink) |
| Person... Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,250
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Safe trip, PC. I can play mini golf... and I can swing a baseball bat. But I have no idea what a baseball swing is in lifesize golf. It's on the list of things to learn now that I'll be a college graduate... |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to thirtybubba For This Useful Post: |
| | #12 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 540
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Good Evening Everyone... Well, the end of my fourth weekend sober is winding down. At times it feels like I didn't have my brief journey back to the insanity of drinking. I feel like I did when I have years, which, feels pretty amazing. I cannot believe we are coming up on the last full week of September, where has this month gone? Hoping everyones night is restful..... |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ANEWAUGUST For This Useful Post: | anono (09-24-2009), box3 (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-20-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009) |
| | #13 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Northeastern United States
Posts: 186
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Safe travels, PC! We look forward to your return. I am also offline for a day or so..........let's all stay in touch, okay? KC |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to KC1 For This Useful Post: |
| | #14 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 346
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I have a new netbook! Yay!! It's really cute. Took forever to get up here. Arrived well after dark, this is a ski resort with all these cute little chalets. The front desk sent me the wrong way to get to mine - well, I could get to it by hiking up a hill with my luggage...NOT. So I went to the only open place - the bar (of course) where several people I knew were having a drink (of course). The bartender was nice and showed me the way to get to my chalet's parking lot (which is right under a ski lift). The roomn is nice - a very small suite. Has a balcony, but no fridge. I thought there was one, so I didn't bring a cooler for my water. It's now sitting in a plastic bag of ice that I got from the bartender in the trash can. I also got some amber O'Douls which tastes really good. I know some people don't agree with drinking the NA beer, but it really hits the spot and fills my urge for the taste of beer in certain situations. Not missing the alcohol in this instance, just the taste.KC - will definitely do. This little PC is fun! Paid for half of it with my not drinking money. |
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| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to PurpleCat For This Useful Post: | anono (09-24-2009), box3 (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-20-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-22-2009) |
| | #15 (permalink) |
| Person... Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,250
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PC, ...can I be in your suitcase? I'm real quiet, I promise. You can even sit me outside at night, I won't bother you at all... I can't stand this scenery anymore... I need out of here so bad it's not funny. (the comment made a lot more sense before I edited it to death...) -TB, going to sleep 'cause she's posting things that don't make sense at all... |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to thirtybubba For This Useful Post: |
| | #16 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas
Posts: 14,655
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just passing through as well - been a bit poorly for a few days now...I need a rest LOL ![]() Glad to see everyone here is hanging in there.... enjoy it all those of you who are travelling - or even getting outside D
__________________ May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post: | anono (09-20-2009), box3 (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-20-2009) |
| | #18 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 540
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PC - isn't it great that you were able to use some of your not drinking money and get a notebook. Your chalet sounds wonderful..and the surrounding scenery just as nice. OK August gang..be quiet as we sneak into PC's suite. I think if we are very good we can all hang there awhile. KC-have fun with your baseball bat swinging hubby at the golf tournament. My hubby is a golfer, I am not. This has allowed him his man time with his friends over the years. TB-Its nice to se you "back in the saddle again" (just to keep in your country song genre). Anono..good to see you here. TC-how are you doing? BreakFree-hoping your internet free time as gone well. ((Dee))-hoping you feel better soon. Have you been to a doctor? To anyone I missed... ![]() Happy Monday Groupies!!! |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ANEWAUGUST For This Useful Post: | anono (09-21-2009), bdiddy5522 (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-22-2009) |
| | #19 (permalink) |
| Member |
Good Morning and Happy Monday Everyone! :) I'm trying to keep up with everyone without spending too much time on the computer. OH MY! What a challenge! I've been very busy putting things back together around here and trying to get healthy. I am cleaning up my eating and exercising everyday. It feels really good. I've lost 6 pounds! WHOO-HOO! :) Thinking of you all and hoping you have the best day! :) Love and hugs,
__________________ ~BreakFree __________________________________________________ ________________________________________ "This boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life...Now I’m alive, and well..." ~ Dave Matthews |
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| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to BreakFree For This Useful Post: | ANEWAUGUST (09-21-2009), anono (09-21-2009), bdiddy5522 (09-21-2009), box3 (09-21-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-22-2009) |
| | #20 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 272
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Great job Melissa. You are doing it!!!! Keep going! As for me, I am coming off of a 4 day bender. My how depressing. I shouldn't say drank all day for 4 days. I started Thursday night when a bunch of us guys went out golfing, and then out for supper and drinks. I got home at mid-night, and got up at went to work by 8 on Friday. I started drinking again at supper time Friday night and drank way too much that night. I got up Saturday and started drinking right away when I got up until I went to bed. Got up Sunday, went to church and then to dinner with my parents, so I didn't have a drink yesterday until about 2 in the afternoon. I felt so ashamed so I quit about 6 yesterday evening and haven't had a drop since then. So I am at work, going through withdrawals. I am dizzy, tired, feel like vomiting, and just all around crappy. I am pounding water, gatorade, had my vitamins and now just waiting. I just want to feel good. For me, I drink because I want to feel "normal" so I start drinking. I know I could get over this disease if I could just get past the withdrawals and feel good. If I could sleep without drinking, feel good without drinking, etc. I WILL do it this time!!!! I have to! Failure is not an option. I just want to tell someone. ANYONE, but can't bring myself to do it. I want to tell my wife, my parents, go to AA, etc. but I just can't for some reason. I am doing this alone along with my friends here on SR. I know all of you can relate, so that is why I am here. Thanks for listening everyone. Sorry to be such a downer today, as so many of you are doing so well. Hope all of you are well. Brent |
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| The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to bdiddy5522 For This Useful Post: | anono (09-21-2009), box3 (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), KC1 (09-22-2009), sphalerite (09-21-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-22-2009) |
| | #21 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 540
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BreakFree...woo hoo (to quote you) on the six pound weight loss., I am sure that has you feeling good. Keep up the good work! Brent...you know all of us here understand. You also know that you can get past this point, as you have done it before. My hubby never understood that I would drink to avoid going thru the withdrawals....I truly felt like I would die at times. They say once you quit and start back up the body picks up where we left off. I truly believe that. So...get your arse back in the sober sedan and get back on track..... |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ANEWAUGUST For This Useful Post: |
| | #22 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 272
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Thank you Newaugust. Yes, I am doing it again. No screwing around this time! I have HAD it and that is final! I wish I could just crawl into bed and stay there until these withdrawals are over, but that is not an option. That would require me to tell my parents (I work with them in the family business) so they would wonder why I wasn't here. My wife would wonder why I am home in bed all day. So I have to put on a front and pretend everything is fine. I seriously feel like I am getting dumber. I am a very intelligent person, but lately I feel like I am just in a fog and I am not even capable of having a complete thought. My mind is just all over the place. Anyone else go through that? Does it get better with sobriety? |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to bdiddy5522 For This Useful Post: | anono (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-21-2009), sphalerite (09-21-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009) |
| | #23 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 540
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You could always beg off with the flu, and get in bed, if that will make you feel better, you might just need to do it. The incomplete thought process, or, brain fog, yes, it does get better. It does take time though. So, be kind to yourself. How many days did you have sober before? This may sound silly...but, do you think your wife has no idea to what extent your drinking is affecting you? I used to think I covered it up really well...I learned though, I was the only one who thought that way. |
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| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to ANEWAUGUST For This Useful Post: | anono (09-21-2009), box3 (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-21-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-22-2009) |
| | #24 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 272
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Yeah, I could do the flu thing, but I think I can tough this out. I just got back from a lunch meeting and feel pretty good. My head hurts, and I am pretty jittery, but otherwise OK. I have xanex that my doctor gave me, that I can take if I need to. I took a half this morning. Honestly? I don't think she has a clue how much I drink. I cover it up well. I just kept a bottle of vodka hidden in the garage, and would take pulls out of it real quick. She never saw me. She would be the type to call me on it if she knew. My parents just think I have severe anxiety, and that is why I don't feel good. Which is true, I do have bad anxiety, but it is from the drinking. Thanks for the advice on the brain fog. I just want to think normally again. My longest stretch sober was 7 days. Then I would "choose" to drink again. Not a lot, but maybe just a few. I now realize I am not capable of moderately drinking. It always ends up back to this. I have couples Bible study tonight at some friends house, so I know I will not drink tonight. Hoping by tomorrow I will feel a little better. |
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| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to bdiddy5522 For This Useful Post: | anono (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-21-2009), sphalerite (09-21-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-22-2009) |
| | #25 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: up north
Posts: 79
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bdiddy. I can relate. Just finished up on a 10 or 12 or.....who knows day bender yesterday morning. Had to pound a few beers just to get my sorry self out of bed yesterday. Hubby and I had been away for the weekend, and the ride home was pretty excruciating. Severe panic, shakes and dry heaves. This only got worse last night. My husband wanted to bring me into emergency because it got so bad at a couple of points, but that would have involved calling someone in (in the middle of the night) to watch the kids, etc, etc. I almost agreed, but got through it with the aid of a few scripted pills. I am sure many of you out there have been through worse, but to me it felt like I was dying. Never never want to be like that again. It was the worst so far, and still isn't a whole lot better. Wish I could just pass out for the next three days and wake up with this detox thing finished. Spent the past hour or so searching out meetings in the area. Hubby asked if I was sure I wanted to go to one already as I am still feeling like cr*p, I told him that this is exactly when I need to go. It would be harder and harder to chicken out when I'm not feeling so horrible. Anyway guys (and gals!) this is where I am (again). I want to say this is the last time. And that I never have to drink again.... I have so much awe and respect for those of you who are making it. Keep up the good work. --sphal |
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| The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to sphalerite For This Useful Post: | anono (09-21-2009), bdiddy5522 (09-21-2009), box3 (09-21-2009), BreakFree (09-23-2009), Dee74 (09-21-2009), tallcactus (09-21-2009), thirtybubba (09-22-2009), Zebra1275 (09-21-2009) |
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