Members with less than 2 weeks -Part 9

[Dee74]

It's difficult Alan I agree - but I knew that what was 'ok' for my mates was killing me - they'd all sober up and go to work or home to their family - I kept drinking....

Talking to them one on one, explaining my problem and my reasons helped - some of them got it, some of them didn't but they all supported me (even if some supported me by going away)

Talk to your Dad and your mates - tell them as much or as little as you like, but let them know you want to be a non drinker

D

[gtinney1]

Originally Posted by christin1225

Day six and still counting, still not sleeping either (though I'm going to give it another shot in a few minutes). I stayed up a little later than usual (midnight), hoping to sleep. I slept for almost an hour and then laid in bed for what seemed like another two hours (during which time only fifteen minutes had passed). That was about 2.5 hours ago. I'm so tired that I'm walking around dizzy during the day. And now I'm whining. Sorry.

This evening, my husband and I were walking and he told me that he's proud of me because I haven't used. Of course, this past week hasn't been like it was the past couple of months. It's easier on the Sub. I would probably be in relapse again (especially considering the sleep situation) if not for the Sub. My counselor asked me if I feel like I'm cheating (being on the Suboxone) when I'm sitting in the rooms. Of course I do! After all, I know how impossible it was for me to resist relieving the obsession just a couple of weeks ago but, now, voila! I'm not using.

I know that it would help if I could find a way to start accepting this as a worthy means of getting clean instead of being ashamed that I haven't been able to get past the obsession without chemical assistance.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Suboxone is a strong drug, and though it gives the appearance that you are sober it is affecting your mind, body, and spirit. I was on it for three years and the detox is the worst I've ever experienced. You can read about it in detail on the post titled, Suboxone A Must Read. Please read that, and if you'd like any more in depth discussion on the topic I'd be glad to share with you.
With deepest concern and care,
Gerry (gtinney1)

[grrrr]

Hi all, I am back. I have been going between sober life and not so sober life and working with a counselor.

For the last 3 weeks or so I have been slipping into too many old routines. I was proud of who I became without alcohol and then lost sight of that. Going out last night I saw the same brash, over-drinking, over-confident about nothing, individual that I no longer want to be.

I can write down or say out loud that moderation doesn't work for me, but I think that I am finally starting to hear it. My life is so unfulfilling with drugs and alcohol as my friends. And they slowly, slowly, become my best and only friends with no room for me. I can't believe I let them back into my life so fully in the last few weeks. I mean, I can intellectually, but I will take this feeling with me into the future to remember just how easily the deception can creep up.

I started on this thread last October in my first successful attempt at some sober time. As I come up on my year of 'trying' it seems time to make a decision. I like being sober better than the alternative. Period. I am done fighting within myself anymore. There is no argument over whether a drink or a drug will make me feel 'better'. It just doesn't.

Thanks for letting me vent. I know many of us here are struggling and it helps me to hear all of your stories. I am happy to be back hanging around SR and making the decision to take my life back.

[CarolD]

Good to know you are planning for another
clean and sober journey.....

In AA I met so many others who also were
changeing lifestyles Their friendship helps me immensley.

All my best Grrrr

[grrrr]

Hi all! Beginning day 2 for me. I have plans to hang out with non-drinking friends today and am feeling pretty good. Definitely grateful to be sober and not missing the fog right now.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

[ChameleonBoy]

Good to see you back grrr.

[keen2bclean]

Hi all x

LG1 (Alan) I can so relate to your story...I'm on day 2 now but I know I'm going to have to pretty much alienate myself from my social circle to get thru this...I so wish I could just have a couple and leave it there...I wonder if anyone has managed to be successful that....but then that is part of step 1 isnt it...knowing that you have no control over alcohol and life has become unmanageable. I dont belong to an AA program I cant get out to the meetings just yet here alone alot of the time with 3 kids...being alone/bored is a trigger for me...I'm going this alone but am finding this site very helpful.

Hi Carole ...so glad the docs didnt find anything untoward with regard to your breathing problems....I have noticed too that I have difficulty with breathing, it gets laboured very quickly under little exersion...I didnt relate to this my alcohol problem I take it there's a link then (?) I gave up smoking 9 years ago when I had my first child and thought it was down to that. When I quit smoking I had to stay away from bars and smokey places to do it...that's probably when I started drinking at home more....then drinking alone....I cant bring myself to say 'I dont drink anymore' right now...it feels too full on and I'm not sure I can see it thru....I just say I'm not drinking today. x

Good luck to all...one step at a time...

[Dee74]

I'm glad to read yr breathing problems are better too Carol

I'm an asthmatic, so I'm never gonna run a 4 minute mile, LOL, but my breathing is much better since I stopped drinking and smoking, keen2bcleen

D

[dogged]

ive tried to tell my boyfriend to come tot his sight but he wont, so im curious, howlong does it take before the intense cravings go away? he was a drug addict, switched to alcohol and gambling and he has quit all of it, but he cant sleep now? how long before you can sleep?

[CarolD]

keen2bcleen ...
Welcome to our Daily Support thread
I'm glad to know you are here with us.

Bless your heart for asking....but no....my lung problems
have nothing to do with my alcoholism. It is caused
by a fungual infection that also settled in my eyes.
I am now using an i inhaler ...it helps somewhat.

I am also a old woman....my "parts" are wearing out.

I do admire the fact you gave up smoking...well done!
As you probably know....coming off any destructive
substance is difficult to do ...especially early on.
It has been my experience that the longer I remain
free from alcohol....the easier it is.

Congradulations on beginning your journey
Blessings to you and your family...

[CarolD]

Please check out this link dogged

Insomnia? 42 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures

My sleeping got back in balance by 2 weeks off alcohol.

Blessings to both of you...

[OceanBound]

Day 1 again here. Almost made it 4 months last time but then life was too much to handle. Drank for over a week. Sick of it now. I don't think I could've done it differently and not sure what if anything will work this time. But I think I want to give it another try.

[CarolD]

Mega OB....

By having success for those months....you now know you
can quit. That's an acompilshment some
people never experience.

Well done on the 4....Day 1 is the new beginning for more!

Welcome back

[OceanBound]

Another day 1. I don't know what else to say... Will it ever stick???

[Dee74]

As long as you never give up OB, you have the best chance of making it stick.

Maybe you need to post here on SR more when life is getting tough and you want to drink? If you want to be talked through a struggle or talked out of drinking, it's what we're here for

D

[OceanBound]

Thanks, Dee.

[CarolD]

(((OB)))

How about that workbook you were doing?
Did you find that helped you work thru things?

SMART has an interesting approach ...sorry
I don't remember if you tried CBT or not.

Here is a link full of various resources for exploration

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html (Recovery Programs and Resources)

BTW....I finally quit drinking...4 years
after my initial decision.
I remember the pain many Day 1's......

[ChameleonBoy]

Originally Posted by OceanBound

Another day 1. I don't know what else to say... Will it ever stick???

I unfortunately know the feeling OB, we're in the August thread together, I say we stay in it for while and see what happens.

[sunrise1]

Wow, where have I been?! This is a GREAT thread and section of SR.... I have been sticking with the "alcoholism" forum and have missed all this great support and encouragement.

I have lots of reading to do!

Today is day 7 for me. I nearly had 60 days mid-summer but apparently had a lesson or two left for me to learn.

Most importantly, I've realized that "my way" isn't working so good; I have been going to meetings this week and really actively looking for a sponsor.

Glad to be here and now I have lots of reading to get to!

[CarolD]

Sunrise ....
Welcome to our Daily Support Forum and this thread.

I remember you from Alcoholism....I share there too.

Good to know you have re started your sobriety
eep in focus ...you too can win over alcohol.


Here is the link to the August group
you may want to check that out too.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html (August Sobriety Group Part 2)

[CarolD]

CB.....
Good to see you here again
All my best

[LG1]

Hey gang... LG1 here from earlier in this thread. I'm on day 6 right now which may not sound like much but is a HUGE acomplishment for me (I havent' gotten past day 3 in years). I now have a list of AA meetings at my fingertips ready to be called on whenever the urge arrises. I've been amazed at the support I've gotten from my drinking friends... and even my Dad. Sobriety feels like it's going to stick this time. One day at a time, right?! Good luck gang. And for those of us who fall every now and again... the key (in my opinion anyway) is not so much to beat yourself up... but to shake it off and try again. Never stop trying until it sticks. That's my 2 cents anyway.

[CarolD]

LG......Hi.....

Congratulations for moving past your previous sober days.
Glad you are here with us....

[grrrr]

Hi everyone.
OB, I can really relate, Day 1 again for me too today. It is hard to end the cycle. Your courage to post is really helping me share right now.
It is frustrating, but I am not going to give up. I have too much to live for and the drinking just doesn't help a thing. I too was able to get some sober time and I want that success again.
keen - I agree that it has been daunting at times to think 'I will never drink again'. I can tell you that right now it is a comforting thought for me and something that I am striving for and not afraid of any more. I am afraid of keeping my life the way it is. Thank you for sharing that, it helps me remember my journey too.
-K

[AboveItAll]

Today is day one for me. It's only 11:00 a.m. and I've already made it a few hours past my normal "start drinking" time. But it is h311 and it is SO EARLY in the day still! I've spent most of the last few hours browsing this site and hoping it will keep me from drinking.

Will someone come looking for me here again tomorrow? I think it will help knowing that someone expects me to make it to day 2.