Living In Sobriety Part 4

[51anna]

The last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-21.html (Living in Sobriety Part 3)

[Believe808]

A new part :ghug

[scaredykat]

I though SR be off by now.

Ro- Sorry about how your feeling. Wish there was something I could say or do for you. Been feeling like crap myself lately. So i have no words of wisdom for anyone today.

Believe- i think it would take at least 8 hours to drive to Canada from your house. It's over 2 hours from my house to NYC. But I'm just guessing.

[stone]

I would have SR would be down by now too.

7.30pm here and I am enjoying a pizza I just got delivered, I think the chilies on a hot day was a bad idea though. Looking forward to bed already, I hope the tablets work.

[Believe808]

Well, as I said before Dee got the times all messed up That's what he gets for making fun of me.

Thanks Scaredy, I will drive if Ro want's me too No bullsh*t.
Scaredy, you got to stop watching those movies, they're not good for your head. Why do you do that.

Stone, Pizza w/chiles sounds delicious yummy!!!!

This site is gonna go down when I'm bored tonight, watch and see. yep, that's whats gonna happen when I could have been all finished by then.

[scaredykat]

I'm wondering if it's more then the movies Believe. i don't know. I can't stand myself today. I guess i should call my sponser. Been wanting to drink for the past 3 or so days. I haven't picked up. but I'm still miserable as all ........ I've been sober over a year and i really hate feeling like this. I feel like an idiot.

[Believe808]

Don't feel like an idiot honey. I would definitely call my sponsor though, if I was you. Barb, think back to the worse things you did when drinking. I'm sure there were some horrible times that you would rather not remember, maybe now is the time to remember them. You really don't want to go back there. When I was sober for the 15 yrs, I thought I would be able to drink 1 or 2 and be fine. Let me tell you, it was a nightmare from day 1. I actually just wanted to drink the 1 but I ended up getting f*cked up. And it just kept up until this time with me being rushed to hospital od'ed. It's really not worth it Barb. Please get that idea out of your head.

[scaredykat]

Just got off the phone with my sponser. Talking about depression. I'm going to Nicotine anonymous tonight. Day 11 not smoking. So like she said. "No wonder I've been depressed, with so much going on in my life recently".

[Believe808]

It's really dangerous ground honey. I posted on Saturday I think about a friend who had time in program, 31 years old, decided to try it on his own, Barb, he is dead!!! Yeah, he died from picking up again. This disease doesn't give a sh*t about you or me, IT WANTS US DEAD. Drinking is not an option Barb.

[Believe808]

I didn't know you quit smoking again? No wonder you are feeling like this honey

[Believe808]

Thank God for meetings, any meetings, that's all I can say

[scaredykat]

Originally Posted by Believe808

Don't feel like an idiot honey. I would definitely call my sponsor though, if I was you. Barb, think back to the worse things you did when drinking. I'm sure there were some horrible times that you would rather not remember, maybe now is the time to remember them. You really don't want to go back there. When I was sober for the 15 yrs, I thought I would be able to drink 1 or 2 and be fine. Let me tell you, it was a nightmare from day 1. I actually just wanted to drink the 1 but I ended up getting f*cked up. And it just kept up until this time with me being rushed to hospital od'ed. It's really not worth it Barb. Please get that idea out of your head.

My sponser just told me all that. She also told me to get my paper out i wrote. I posted a lot of them on SR when I first got sober.

[Believe808]

come on go play a game, get your mind off all of this. I'll challenge you and see who beats who I've been playing Midas Mahjong lately, I don't know how some opponents have such high scores, it pis*es me off. I was trying to figure out how to get Ro as a friend, couldn't figure it out, and I open my mail this morning and Ro invited ME to be a friend. She just signed up the day before yesterday. She knows how to do it already. She even has hair already, I just got mine yesterday and its not even my hair color, lol.

[Believe808]

She is right Barb, we easily forget what it was like. We need to be constantly reminded of how bad it was. And it really doesn't get better. Just ask anyone who has relapsed, and that's if they make it back.

[Believe808]

Barb, do you have AIM for instant messaging?

[scaredykat]

Originally Posted by Believe808

I didn't know you quit smoking again? No wonder you are feeling like this honey

Yep, lot going on. Day 11 not smoking.
Parents just went back home to Texas. Won't see them ever again unless we come up with the money.
Another Birthday to get through sober.
Hormones.
Weather sucks lately.
Watching movies i shouldn't watch about a kid being torchered when I have PTSD. I know dumb.

[Believe808]

Well honey, what do you expect, your parents leaving, no smoking, horror movies,

[scaredykat]

Originally Posted by Believe808

Barb, do you have AIM for instant messaging?

No. I just talk on forums and E-Mail. That's it.

[least]

THis has been the Day from Hell... and it's not over yet...

[Rowan]

Hi guys. Sorry Barb to hear you are still struggling. depression is a son of a bitch I know. You got a lot going on, but I'm grateful to see you reaching out, calling your sponsor, talking here, going to nicotine meeting, etc. You're staying sober, and living life on life's terms. You inspire me young lady. I remember your early struggles here at SR and yes you inspire me.

I got a lot of work done this afternoon and it was good for me to just dive into business and forget what was happening in my brain. I feel less shaky.

[Rowan]

Oh gosh I just read back on part 3 of this thread and nearly cried seeing you googling where I live, Donna. I live about 30 miles north of Toronto. But I'm going to be okay, I promise. Thank you, everyone, for being SO kind and supportive.

[Believe808]

Are you sure Ro? I really would try to come. I'm gonna hold both you and Barb in the pocket of my shirt next to my heart in hopes that you will both feel better. You can hear my prayers for you both.

[least]

The Day from Hell is coming to an end, thank God. I ate some jello and kept it down so now am having some chamomile tea to help the anxiety. Still having weird body temp issues, too hot then too cold, almost like menopause all over again... and that was 11 yrs ago.

Feeling guilty cause too sick to walk the dogs... but they don't complain, bless their doggie hearts.

[HideorSeek]

Hi Least. Do you want to talk about why your day was so bad? ((((Hugs))))

Scaredy, I agree with Bee. Don't let that AV wiggle in ANYWHERE. It isn't worth it, really, and you know this. It won't change anything and will only make things worse. I know that you know these things, but I'm just saying them out loud. ((((((Hugs))))))

Ro, I'm glad you are feeling better! What about our Bee, huh? A heart the size of the universe!

And Bee, you are the poster child of compassion ((((hugs)))))

[IO Storm]

Hugs out to all...

So sorry to hear about the sorrows..Ro))))..hope the upped Prozac kicks in real soon.

Barb))) Wow...what an ordeal. I'm glad you called sponsor...always the thing to do

when you "feel like" drinking. And no beating yourself up for feeling like that, either.

it is what we alcoholics do when things get to a breaking point. Just remember that

feelings are distressing, not dangerous. I learned this a long time ago.

Glad you are a little better Least )))))

Donna))))

Stoney))))

You peeps seem to be okay today...okay!

Yesterday I had a Dr. appt...it was all right, she said I am doing "good"...then I went

with sober GF's to lunch and the movies to see Hangover. I am feeling sick today

though, a little...tummy trouble, it happens. I am not supposed to eat popcorn..but I

just... can't...resist it.

Lovies,

Take care everyone