Class of June-Part 2

[Jade19]

Chameleon Boy wrote:
I guess I'm the baby of this class? I hope to get to know everyone in the class of June because I really need support right now. I'm so depressed at the way I acted it just doesn't seem to be going away. I wish I would have blacked out the whole time but for some reason this time I do remember what I was like. Not something to be proud of.


Hi Chameleon!!! Welcome Welcome!!! I know exactly how you feel. The guilt can be so overwhelming and it seems the longer I am sober the more the memories flood back to me. I have wished too before that I would have been blacked out the whole time. But the last few nights I wish I could remember, I wish I knew what I had done or said...I wish I knew exactly what I needed to ask forgiveness for. Such a tough road we are all going down but just think we don't ever have to feel this way again. EVER! =) That makes me feel so much better....I need tons of support too, I only have 3 full days after a relapse....we can do this!! Hope you write more....

:ghug

Rebecca

[Jade19]

Junebugs,

I need help..I already got your take Chameleonboy and thanks =).

I got that job at the liquor store guys....I am really freaking out about this because it not only affects my sobriety but my finances as well. I really need some honest advice and thoughts. Please help....In the chat room, I got some replies but I am really struggling with this. Anything would be appreciated.

~Reb

[Lindsay]

Hey Reb! Well, congrats on getting the job...but the most important question is; Can you remain sober working there? Will it trigger you? You are the only one that can answer those questions. I know that there are many alcoholics that work in bars, etc and are okay with it. I personally would not be able to do that right now and remain sober...but everyone is different!

I don't know your financial situation, but if there's a chance it will trigger you...are your finances worth that risk? If you start drinking will you even be able to work?

Lots to think about...let me know what you think!

[ChameleonBoy]

I still have a bad cold and am really miserable and in a dark mood. I know it will get better, it always does. I had to go get some more juice and soup and was feeling a little better and....the thought of drinking popped into my head again. I had to really think about why I would drink. I don't have the answer but I do know some changes have to be made in my life.

It was nice talking to you for a moment in chat Rebecca. So you already know my answer to your question. I didn't know anyone here had less time then me so I guess I'm not the baby, I have a little sister. Glad to here you went to an AA meeting. I haven't been to one since I stopped drinking but I have been in the past and will be going back soon.

Not sure what else to say, sorry you couldn't find a purse Lindsy.

No comment on that time of the month.

Thank you all in this thread for the kind words and support. I am glad you are all here and hope everyone is doing well.

[waterfountain]

Hey everyone!
I'm just getting back from a night out at a festival and concert - I'm dog tired and my legs and feet are killing me!
It was a warm evening, and there was beer EVERYWHERE! That would've normally been enough to get me to stand in line and get a cup of the cheep domestic brew for probably triple the price at a store. Not tonight though - I didn't feel inclined in the slightest to fork over the $3 for the "21+" wristband, plus the $6 for a 14oz plastic cup of beer. I just kept sippin' my water and wanderin' around. So, progress!

I just felt like rambling this off before I go wash up and get to bed. It's closing in on 11:30 already!

I hope everyone has a good night tonight, and a great morning tomorrow. I think I'll sleep in a bit since I have the day off, but then I'll pop in here and see what's shakin'

Take care everyone!

[bnme247]

well..............hell 2 da O....to all of u guys.....i feel neglected so imma go check out some other folks for a while........lol!!!......my family!!!.......hope all are doing good, i'm just peachy!!!...off to work, hang tuff.....luv bnme247

[Jade19]

bnme, are you feeling neglected by this June group? =(


Reb

[Chamabama]

Originally Posted by bnme247

well..............hell 2 da O....to all of u guys.....i feel neglected so imma go check out some other folks for a while........lol!!!......my family!!!.......hope all are doing good, i'm just peachy!!!...off to work, hang tuff.....luv bnme247

???

What do you need that you're not getting bnme? I always find that I have a lot better chance of getting what I need when I'm able to clearly communicate what my needs are. Help us out, please!

[Jade19]

Our thread has dwindled down to just a few now....makes me sad that we started out with such a strong class and there are just a few of us left...btw on day 5 today!!! WOOHOO for me...LOL

[waterfountain]

Originally Posted by Jade19

Our thread has dwindled down to just a few now....makes me sad that we started out with such a strong class and there are just a few of us left...btw on day 5 today!!! WOOHOO for me...LOL

I feel the same way Reb What happened to everyone?

Anyway, yay! Day 5! That was the last really really tough day for me in the first week - I sincerely hope your toughest days are behind you now as well

Back in a bit!

[spen71]

Well i am still sober. Sorry I do not post as much but I am busier now than I have ever been in my life.

[Jade19]

I dunno Waterfountain...wish they would pop in and say hi to us...I hope everyone is just soberly living life and has gotten to busy like Spen =) So good to see you Spen and I am glad you are doing great!!!

Hope everyone has a stress and temptation free weekend...I am a bit nervous for myself....MISS YOU JUNEBUGS!!! =)

~Reb

[waterfountain]

Originally Posted by spen71

Well i am still sober. Sorry I do not post as much but I am busier now than I have ever been in my life.

Same here, actually. I was never this motivated to actively participate in my life while I was drinking. So I've been out doing things more - living life rather than numbing it down. Today is a vacation day where I plan on laying low, chilling out online, eating whatever I want.... chores can wait until later

Happy Friday!

[waterfountain]

Reb,
I wish the same! We haven't heard from ADAAT, Eog, NB, or Jade09 (and I know there are others too!)in several days - I hope they're getting along okay.

I think I'll make some sushi today. Mmmmm, smoked salmon and asparagus sounds good.... think I should add cream cheese and make it a Philadelphia roll? Tough call.... *giggle*

Oh, and I made raw flax crackers! They turned out GREAT! I also bought some nori-roll snack sticks and a granola bar (all raw) from a fantastic website. So, I'm all set to have a fully raw day or two next week! I'll have to figure out some meals of course too, but snacks are soooooo important to have when trying out a new diet.

Here's to aiming for healthier days!
(day 24 is 3/4ths done! Whoo!)

[Jade19]

OMG!! Sushi sounds amazing right now...I say go for the cream cheese!! Let me know how it turns out...can't you steam veggies for a few minutes and they are still considered raw? What about beans? I was thinking like a bean salad...high protein, low fat type thing....I love healthy food!!

I talk to ADAAT on email and she is doing good. She pops in here to browse every now and then but she is not ready to come back just yet. She is hanging in there tho. I wonder what happened to jade09...NB....I hope they are ok....

Keep me posted on your lunch!! I am gonna go for a run....

~Reb

[Lindsay]

I'm still here!

Today's day 33. I actually had to work today...I have off Monday instead which is odd...I swear everyone else has today off! Anyway, I'm about to leave work shortly here. Three day weekend, yay! I plan on just laying low. I don't have anything too exciting planned...just working out and getting some sun! I'll check in later.

[ChameleonBoy]

Today has been the best I have felt for over a week now. I actually noticed myself smiling when I woke up....not sure why but my mood flipped just like that. Still have a cold and haven't slept much but today was a good day. I knew it would get better I'm just glad to finally see it. One week sober today

Have a good and safe 4th weekend everyone.

[Jade19]

CONGRATS on 7 DAYS!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!! Awesome job Chameleonboy!!!

Hope everyone is doing good!! I had a rough craving day today...but I went for a run and then it was gone....ending day 5 tonight...feeling good....

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!

~Reb

[Chamabama]

Good Morning all! 6 weeks for me today. Yay!

Hope everyone has a wonderful, safe and sober 4th of July! (Even those who aren't in the US! )

[Jade19]

Hi Chama, CONGRATS ON 6 WEEKS!!!!

HAPPY 4th to all and thanks to all who make it possible =)

Hope everyone has an amazing day!!! On day 6 today...going for another run, oddly I have lost about 10 pounds in the last 2 weeks and it seems to be speeding up without the booze =) I only need 10 more to go....YIPPIEEE!!! Heart has calmed down a bit and I can feel my blood pressure dropping...I LOVE this feeling!!!!

Love you all!!!!

~Rebecca

[NewBeginning010]

Hi Everyone Just wanted to pop my head in & say hello. I am always in the "newcomers to recovery" section, reading & sharing. Sometimes I forget that our June thread has been moved here.

Anyway, things are great here. I had a great week & probably got more done this week than I have in months. The last few days have been amazing, I talked with my HP for the first time since I was a little kid. Sitting on a rock by the beach with the ocean lapping at my feet. watching the sunset & asking for help. The tv series "the Cleaner" helped me to start talking aloud again, its a great series. PM me if you would like the link to a site that has all of the series & movies too hehe. (one of the moderators removed a link I posted in another thread thinking I was promoting it).

Had a great day today, made pancakes for my father & we watched some tennis/golf at my place for a bit (would usually be hiding out & hungover in the past) then we went out to a beautiful park and played tennis for a few hours (my best playing in years... maybe ever). Then we had lunch & played chess together... man, it was great. I am so close to him & love him so much & find myself thinking/worrying about what it would be like if I ever lost him. My feeling & thoughts are on hyper drive, it feels overwhelming at times. After that I biked up to another park to see a Jazz festival, had a lot of fun outside of being invited to the beer gardens & for drinks a few times.

I am out of work as of the last month or so & have been trying very hard to build my own company with a partner. we have some good ideas but I think we may be too different to work together.. money is getting tight. I am going to have to make some big decisions soon.

Well that is it for now, I did my mass update for the week lol I look forward to your updates. Be good to yourselves, we can do this

Take Care,

NB

[Chamabama]

Hope everyone had a safe sober and wonderful 4th of July. Just checking in. I'm not feeling overly chatty, but I am fine.

Waterfountain is coming up on a month... right?

[bjork]

Reb-I used to feel awkward at AA meetings sometimes too. I went to many different meetings. I was in Chicago, so I had a lot to choose from. Some were not awkward at all. Others were. There was one that always had around 50 people and they would always pass around a microphone. YIKES! I always tried to strategically sit where I thought the mike would never come. I never did speak much at meetings. I am more of a listener. I think a sponsor is a good idea too. My first sponsor didn't work out. She was really busy and really didn't have time. Nevertheless, a sponsor would be great!

Show up at meetings early (even 5-10 minutes). That gives you some time to talk to people. People often approached me. Sometimes nobody did.

What's an IOP?

The only thing I can relate to your relationship is a four year relationship I had with another alcoholic. We really enabled eachother and were eachothers best drinking buddies. We were so forgiving of eachothers stupid drunk antics and never made the other feel bad about drunk actions. We just kind of laughed it off and forgot about it. Whenever I would try to quit drinking, she would usually be on board and want to quit too. One of us would cave and the other would cave too. TOXIC I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have a significnt other right now. Some of the other newbies with partners would probably be able to give some better advice.

About the job....I immediately think "No", but I think you should rely on someone with more sobriety under their belt.

Congratulations on one week today!!!!!!

You've lost ten pounds in the past two weeks??? You're my hero! LOL I can only hope that I lose ten pounds in the next few weeks. My tummy is smaller, but not too much.

[bjork]

Hello everybody! I have been busy (productive and social) the past few days.

BNME247-I hope your 4th went well. I am sorry for your loss associated with the holiday. You wrote: WE HAVE TO REALIZE THE BOOK IS ALREADY WRITTEN WE ARE JUST PLAYING OUT THE CHARACTER.....IT'S OUR MAKER'S NOVEL.......SO PLEASE TRY TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT AND ENJOY That is sooo true!

Welcome Chameleonboy!!!! I think the major thing that got me back in here was actually seeing myself on camera drunk! Not a good thing to see, but, then again, maybe it was the best thing I could see! Congratulations on 8 days today! I'm glad you are feeling better. Keep posting on here.

Waterfountain-Good job on staying strong at the concert! I recently had my first outing where I declined alcohol. It went much better than expected. Glad to hear you had a great time sober. Watch your bank account grow too.

Please pass some sushi and flax crackers my way...yum!

Lindsay congratulations on making it to your one month mark! I know I am chiming in late, but what the heck!

Chama WooHoo 6 weeks and one day today!

[Lindsay]

Heyhey. Hope everyone had a nice 4th of July! I laid out all day and saw The Hangover with my boyfriend. All that I've been hearing is how good it is...it was funny but I didn't think it was THAT great.

It's funny because I've actually loss track/stopped counting what day I'm on...36 or so today? I'm feeling great though.

Congrats on 6 weeks Chama!!!!!