Class of November-Part 10

[ananda]

er...i don't think carrying on will help jason (hug)

relax hon.....takes some deep breaths....

[Pixy1]

Guys :ghug Good Morning.

I'm so sorry I haven't been around. I have been so busy and just not had time to check in properly.

I'm still going strong but had a little slip on Friday. No excuse for it other than it was a posh event and I had never tried Champange before. I did not get drunk and I left early and I'm straight back on track.

I love how I feel too much to go back to a life of alcohol. Although I may need it when Nands arrives with all this touchy stuff!! lol I don't do hugging

I have a new addition to the family, He's a grey Welsh Section A Pony. He has not been broken in yet and unsure of the human race as he is only a year old. He has no name yet so any suggestions will be welcomed. I would like something unusual and spiritual.

Anyway I am off to a horse show with the kids today which should be intresting. I will not buy another one!

[Dee74]

Champagne is very overrated Pix - I could give you a lecture about the dangers of curiosity but you get marks for being back on track anyway

night
D

[ananda]

Pix...if i drank everytime a drink came out that i hadn't tried yet...i'd be drunk a whole lot of the time LMAO

ok..glad you got right back up...

lets just all keep going

where is alley this morning?????

[Dee74]

I better do one of these for Ally too


night nands
D

[ananda]

I'm off to bed too

cranky as h*ll need to restart my day

[Dee74]

*turns lights out in thread*

D

[allport]

I had a sleep in today lol

I'm fine, a bit grumpy but sober.

[Pixy1]

I came back from show to play and you are all asleep......sigh!

It's so dark in here with the lights out I think I may do the same and have a nap

[Pixy1]

Alley

The grumps are just shite! I seem to get a lot of them

[SpeedyJason]

Glad to see all of you are doing alright :ghug2

I think you should name the pony Bibxy. Just because that sounds british to me. Ha.
Post a picture of him and I'll think up names

[ananda]

grumpy...had a little bit of a why don't i just drink, it would be nice moment...saying it out loud cause it was actually more than a little thought...

i'll check iin after coffeee...it's sunday so i can't get a bottle...so no one needs to worry

[SpeedyJason]

Nan

So Pixy, me and nan were brainstorming pony names and we got:

-Caspian
-Achelles
-Skylar
-Kaska
-Darius
-Excaliber
-Xander
-Zodiac
-Theo
-Nova
-Dalton
-Gabriel
-Gatsby
-Wonkey

There might be more later. All of you gotta say which one is your favorite.
Personally, I like Caspian the best.

[Pixy1]

I'm lovin Theo but wonky would be funny.

I wont see him untill next weekend so I will get a picture then.

I had a nap it was lovely. I had a dream about my mum and she said things will get better over the next 24. I'm hoping she meant weeks and not moths or years lol

Making a lovely Sunday dinner and it's a beautiful day

[ananda]

OK...I wanna drink.

I've been clicking off in my head how to do so and what it would mean. I can drive 20 miles down the road to a liquer store that is open. I'de have to call and cancel the step study at my house for 6:30 tonight. I would need to post something about having to take a week off SR for whatever reason. Not sign in to yahoo, and somehow block emails from people in recovery. not answer the phone.

I supsect if i drink i'm not likely to come back to SR. Don't think i could stand the self rigious shite that people would toss at me.

now..i know how much it pisses people off when people post stuff like this and then run...

I have a house to clean (houskeeper got drunk last night), 2 mos of books to balance by 8am tomarrow, grociery shoping and overdue bills to pay. This is actually more likely to keep me sober today than anything else.

I fcked up today...i wanna go away right now...i'm frightened. I'm afraid i'm gonna make things worse. I don't know if i can stand to be "in this moment" anymore. I guess the space i am in I am likely to lash out in fury at anyone who tries to reason with me. I forgot how cuttingly bitchy and selfcentered I can be ... its like a bomb explodes and then i think people are suppose to just be ok with it !!!!! jeez i'm a joke.

I really question why I am bothering to post this..it almost seems to me like i'm seeking attention and yet i don't want attention at all...pretty confused.

So i say i don't want help, yet i post this....causing concern to those who care about me when i dont even know how to talk about this in a rational maner and probably can't hear.

I'll post later tonight if only to say i'm sober.

sorry for venting i hope everyone can just write this off as nands in a mood.

[SpeedyJason]

Nan, don't do it

Keep busy with the stuff you gotta do, you told me yourself that lists can help keep you occupied the other night. I think by making this post you're looking for a way to keep yourself accountable for your actions and it's a good thing you posted

I think subconciously you don't want to drink because you know you'd be throwing a lot away and so you made this post in effort to keep sober, keep from drinking. You're posting before you drink nan, that's a good thing.

Things'll pass, you'll be okay

[Pixy1]

Feel better for sharing?

Nands do anything you have to do to keep busy! Sounds like you have enough on to keep you going!

This is going to pass and you will be all the stronger for it.

Ring your sponser now! and me if you need to, ok?

[ananda]

thanks...a little less shaky...gonna do my book work and see how i feel

[Pixy1]

Hey Nands, has the day got any better?

[ananda]

I ended up sleeping....the day is shot...company in 1 hour...

I'm ok....don't feel a compeling desire to go get the bottle...just worn out and a little dissapointed in my self..ok alot...

I'm very upset that i still have these moments where i have to feel like it was an accomplishment to not drink....I mean most people do this deal and don't even consider drinking there stuff away!

oh well...i'm better pix thanks...just take a little more time to sorta get my head in track.

[bugsworth]

Hey ananda...glad you are feeling better. It's ok to have bad days...they only make the good ones that much richer. Feelings and acting on them are two totally different things...take the grace and walk with it...you did well. Try to enjoy your company.

[Dee74]

hey Nands
sorry I didn't see this post til earlier...

first thing is a housekeeper who gets drunk isn't good...and I'm not being 'moral' here...bottom line - you pay them to do their job so you can do other stuff - and you couldn't do that other stuff today cos you had to do their job too. That sucks.

No wonder you were under pressure. I know you're not great at laying down the law (who is? LOL) but I really think you need to make sure that won't happen again.

As for the thing you fked up - you're human Nands. Cut yourself some slack. Having done the 12 steps and remaining sober doesn't make you Superwoman.

And thinking of drinking is natural for an alcoholic.
I do it too.

I've seen many others who admit to it to. I don't see I'll ever be able to take my sobriety for granted, and I'm grateful for the reminders, in a way.

It's all good sweetie
D

[colagirl]

(((Nands))) sorry I didn't see this earlier. Hope you are feeling better.

I climbed a mountain today! I can barely walk because my ankles hurt so bad but it was great. We (my friend and I) didn't think we would summit when we started and I'm so proud of us!!

...I did get a tick though. First time. Those things are fcking disgusting. I have it sitting in alcohol in a tupperware container in case I end up getting sick and they have to test it. Seriously disgusting.

[Pixy1]

Oh CG thats not good, they are horrible little things!

Well done on climbing the mountain, thats quite somthing

Must dash, off to work and starting my new hourse

[colagirl]

I know, they are nasty! I'm up in the middle of the night nursing my sore climbing muscles . I can barely walk! The redness from the tick has gone down but it's still a little sore. I'm going to call the doctor in the morning to make sure it all seems normal and I didn't leave the head of the horrible creature stuck under my skin or something.

Don't you all love it when I check in with my pleasantries??

Btw Pixy I like Caspian for the horse. Reminds me of Narnia.