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Old 02-24-2009, 05:46 AM   #26 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
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I feel sleep deprived cause I couldn't sleep but about an hour last night. Then woke up out of my little bit of sleep feeling quite sick. I have little to do today but my counseling appt, but don't feel like doing anything but sleeping... if I COULD sleep, that is.

Am stressed out beyond my ability to cope and now no sleep and sick. I don't want to know what else can go wrong...
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Old 02-27-2009, 12:27 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Happy that tomorrow is $ day and I'm going to buy some good food and make Morroccan Chicken.
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:36 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Sick of waking up out of a sound sleep in the early morning. Today's weather forecast calls for rain - yuck. I should be grateful it isn't snow!
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 02-27-2009, 04:39 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Haven't been able to get back to sleep yet and now in a terrible anxiety attack, drinking chamomile tea and breathing...
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 02-27-2009, 09:23 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Despite the early waking, I feel pretty good today. Focusing on my neighbor's kid being here has helped to dissapate the anxiety for now. We're going over to his house to get their dogs and bring them over for a little dog party with my dogs. Four dogs in the house, that should be fun!
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 02-27-2009, 08:41 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Feeling exhausted yet inspired, tired but hopeful.
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Old 02-27-2009, 10:40 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Can't believe it... utterly depressed..
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Old 02-28-2009, 12:04 AM   #33 (permalink)
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((((Jason)))))
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Old 02-28-2009, 05:29 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Had a good sleep last night and woke up feeling better, surrounded by my dogs. Hugs for everyone!:ghug
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 02-28-2009, 09:00 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Woke up feeling better but out of nowhere developed an upset stomach, which is not getting better, despite two shots of pepto bismol. Am feeling anxious as well, don't know why, besides the immediate problem of running out of cigs and having no money...

Am trying to take it one minute at a time here, trying to watch a movie and forget about my restless stomach.
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 02-28-2009, 01:57 PM   #36 (permalink)
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... I don't even know how to describe how I feel.
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Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through
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Old 02-28-2009, 02:11 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Feeling motivated to get stuff done today.
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Old 02-28-2009, 02:24 PM   #38 (permalink)
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IRRITABLE and angry. Because I can't drink.
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Old 02-28-2009, 10:24 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Questioning God's motives.
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I'm locked inside a cell in me, I know that there's a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through
"Words I Never Said" - Lupe Fiasco
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:21 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Fed up with stupid people.Why can't everyone just live the way *I* think they should?They'd be so much better off......LOL!

(yes-I know.But geez it's hard sometimes to just let people do what they do and not comment)

Ugh!
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:39 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Feeling ACCOMPLISHED!

Hey Everyone,

Wow... I didn't even realize it until I sat down and counted these little boxes on my icalendar...

I'm past 100 days of sobriety (day 107 today) and well, I just wanted to share my feelings of accomplishment in my continued success as a new and fabulously sober ME.

Still craving sugar, and indulging regularly. Ha! Right now my thing is Coffee Ice Cream + Hot Fudge and a Brownie = YUMMM (Think mini sundae)

Hope everyone out there is doing well...
Night,
Hollyce
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Old 03-01-2009, 05:02 AM   #42 (permalink)
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Woke up a little earlier than I like and feeling depressed and anxious this morning. Hungry but little in the house to eat, will have to go to the store today.
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:13 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Hadn't been to church much lately so I went today. It usually makes me feel better but not today it didn't. I couldn't keep from looking around at all the other members, happy and successful, but not me. I'm unhappy and unsuccessful. They all have great lives and did great things with their lives, but not me, I've done nothing to make a difference and when I am gone there will be nothing to remember me for.

Even took communion this morning, but only felt guilty and ashamed for it. Not as if I were participating but only mimicing the others. Do'nt know why I'm feeling so shi!tty today. I don't like myself much today, in fact, I dislike myself more today than usual. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in and wanting to be happy like all the happy people I see 'inside'. But just feel more 'outside' of it all than ever.

I'm supposed to go with mom and brother to a concert later on today but don't know if I even want to leave the house. I'm going to force myself to walk the dogs in a bit, because they need the exercise, fresh air, and sunshine, and those things wouldn't hurt me either.


I am full of regret today. All the things I didn't do, and all the bad choices I made, are haunting me, kicking me, telling me what an abject failure I am and have always been. I'm too old and tired to do much to change my life at this point, just hope I can wait it out to the end. I wish I'd done things so much differently, but it's too late now.
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:16 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Sad, raw, very emotional. Alone~
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:52 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Please not Michigan, please not michigan, please not michigan. Worried...tired, upset.
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Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through
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Old 03-04-2009, 12:49 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Keep those feelings coming everyone. It works.

Me- I haven't felt well lately. Hormones are all screwy.
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Old 03-04-2009, 03:30 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Lost, angered, stressed, hurt..
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I'm locked inside a cell in me, I know that there's a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through
"Words I Never Said" - Lupe Fiasco
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Old 03-04-2009, 03:34 PM   #48 (permalink)
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sleepy, lazy and possible apathy
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Old 03-04-2009, 04:03 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Unbearable anxiety and depression the last few days. Got my antidepressants and antianxiety meds refill scrips... but can't afford to get them refilled. Fat lot of good it did to get the refill scrips if I can't afford to actually get them refilled!
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 03-04-2009, 04:09 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Least~ Hubby just got us a prescription discount plan at Walgreens. Just thought you might want to look into it and see if that could help you in any way.
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