For Those with Less than 2 Weeks Sober Part 6

[CarolD]

New members are very special to us
please make yourself at home and post often.

You never have to be alone again...someone is
here 24/7 to answer questions and or give support.

Glad you joined us.

[CarolD]

Hello to everyone...Sobriety Rocks!

[steamvessel]

Count me in for day #1 again, tommorrow morning I will have a day under my belt. I did relapse, but I'm going to give it my all again. It's really hard for me to look ahead and get excited about this right now, I do want to get sober, so I've just got to focus on this one moment at a time for now instead of making any proclamations about long term sobriety. For now, I will be sober.

[subzero]

I have to admit, since passing day 7, I've had that little voice in my head saying "see, you made it 7days dry, your NOT an alcho, go on have a drink to celebrate" ...

Mate ... here's what i got for you!!!



and stay down !!!

[BrixtonBear]

I've been struggling again. My alcoholism defeated me on Sunday and yesterday, and I ended up in a bad way.

I just don't know what happened - this disease seems so irrational. I've experienced time and again all the damage caused by alcohol, I've tasted how good life can be if I stay away from drink, and yet I'm still losing some battles.

It seems that the alcohol is refusing to give up without a real fight. But I'm not going to give up without a fight either.

Today I will try to kick-start my recovery and healing, by just staying away from the first drink.

Thanks for this thread.
PB

[November77]

Well crap, my last post didn't make it through... I'm going to try again here.

Mariposa, I know exactly how you feel. I have been feeling that way since last night. I wanted to have a glass of wine so bad I could taste it. Today I have an employee holiday party to attend at a country club. The employer frowns on anyone that doesn't show up. So, here I am, trying to stay away from temptation and it'll be right in my face around 3:30 this afternoon. They will have an open bar and every liquor known to humankind will be available to anyone that desires it. Well, here's the thing, I would love to have a drink but I MUST abstain! It's easier said than done though. I thought "well, I could just have a glass of wine" Then the other voice chirped in and reminded me that if I had that one glass it would end up being more. And then I'd end up going to the bar, maybe not this week but next week it would start with maybe one night, then it would eventually end up being everynight.

It sucks, I know. I wish I could drink like a normal humanbeing, but I can't. I have tried to do the moderation thing and it eventually failed. It's so frustrating, but, I know that it just won't work if I go back to that life again.

I feel for you, and I know what you are going through. Just know that you are not alone

[Eclipse]

I am starting Day 1 again. Feeling pretty deflated and tired and worn out obsessing about alcohol. I just want to feel good again. So I will not drink today.

Good luck everyone, just one day at a time, huh?

[November77]

SubZero,

Yep that voice keeps telling me since I feel so much better to go out and have a drink. But I won't. So it's time to beat some sense into my alcohlic thinking!

[grrrr]

November, that is a great attitude. I feel like I constantly need that club handy to beat back the addict voice when it pops up. I too, learned that moderation doesn't work for me, but it is hard when drinking is so socially acceptable for (it seems) everyone else. Stay strong at your party today, it will feel so good to make the right choice for you!

PB, Eclipse, Steam - Good to see you keeping up the fight. As long as we are still quitting, we are on our way to kicking it for good. ODAAT, not faster, not slower.

I wouldn't have made it without this thread. Day 37 for me, still seems like crazy talk sometimes....

[November77]

Hi PB,

Hon, I know how hard this can be. There is no such thing as an iron clad guarantee that I will remain sober today or next year. You are right, this disease is very irrational. There doesn't seem to be any logic with it whatsoever. All we can do is move forward. Don't feel bad about yourself, this disease is crafty.

[November77]

To everyone on this board!

[Mariposa18]

November~ Thanks for the post, I really appreciate the support =) So you are going to the party, that's showing a lot of strength. Make sure if you start to feel the itch, you are able to leave. I hope it all goes well and will think of you today~ Stay Strong!

Sub~ That's what I've been thinking! Then I tell myself how I've gone almost a year before without a drink, so what's a glass?

It's like, when I'm down after a night of drinking almost 3 bottles of wine, I tell myself I have a problem and shouldn't drink. Then I feel good and think "Why not? I can handle it!" Yeah I can, at first, but whether it's a week or month later, eventually I stop having just 1-2 glasses and have 1-2 Bottles.

I just got off the phone with my Mom and she asked if I wanted her to bring me anything for Thanksgiving, I told her No. Then she said "Well it's not like you will never drink again, you can have a glass on occasion can't you?" I told her I really don't want to and she said "Okay" See, that makes me think if my own Mom thinks I'll be okay, I'll be fine right? UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! So annoying, I'm telling you even as I type this I keep thinking I can do it, I can control it, I'm not an alcoholic I just said that because I was feeling so bad about myself, maybe I just wanted attention, maybe I was being overly cautious. I honestly have myself convinced that I'm not an alcoholic, just had a really bad few months and was too stressed. I mean, nothing bad happened and if anything I was more fun and more relaxed!

WTF is this? Why am I thinking this way?

[subzero]

Nov77 - It is a very crafty monster indeed !! Hopefully I (we all) can try to keep the voice as quiet as possible. Being this my first try at this, I cant claim any experience, but so far I have tried to just hand myself over and believe I'm an alkie, and me and alcohol dont mix anymore .. (so dont even bother trying to suggest it "voice")

Mariposa - I do get exactly how yr feeling about "surely, I'll be right after a glass or two" .. then my brain kicks into remembering the night after night after night sat alone drinking myself to pass out stage (which I called sleep) .. and then how I felt the day after, but then do it again, feel bad, do it again, feel bad .. till I lost a business because of it .. something had to change .. hopefully now I have found a step towards a better life !!

Yet again, I give my thanks to all on SR .. I seriously never would have believed a forum could be so supportive in helping me be on the way to getting my life back. Though we do have a fairway to go yet .. but one day at a time !!

THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!

:ghug

[espresso]

PB (and anyone else who identifies), have you got the Big Book? Suggested reading; The Doctor's Opinion PXXV, 4th edition and More About Alcoholism (Chapter 3, 4th edition)
Big Book On Line

The above link is Copyright 2008 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.

[subzero]

hmm .. need to work on my formatting . soz

[subzero]

  
   I am here
        |
  have a drink ?  --> yes --> that was good, one more?
        |             ^                        |     <- This can go on for a bit
        |             | <-----------------------   
       No
        |
  Road to recovery

I know it ain't great, but wanted to post it too remind myself!!

[ksplash5]

thanks subzero....that's cool.

i've had some thoughts of drinking/using today. but i simply am not going there. the thoughts passed. I will stay focused on my intention to stay and be clean today!

keep up the good work eveeryone

[Eclipse]

keep going that "yes" route is a freakin' big, fat, scary monster nightmare!

[Horselover]

Originally Posted by subzero

Nov77 - It is a very crafty monster indeed !! Hopefully I (we all) can try to keep the voice as quiet as possible. Being this my first try at this, I cant claim any experience, but so far I have tried to just hand myself over and believe I'm an alkie, and me and alcohol dont mix anymore .. (so dont even bother trying to suggest it "voice")

Mariposa - I do get exactly how yr feeling about "surely, I'll be right after a glass or two" .. then my brain kicks into remembering the night after night after night sat alone drinking myself to pass out stage (which I called sleep) .. and then how I felt the day after, but then do it again, feel bad, do it again, feel bad .. till I lost a business because of it .. something had to change .. hopefully now I have found a step towards a better life !!

Yet again, I give my thanks to all on SR .. I seriously never would have believed a forum could be so supportive in helping me be on the way to getting my life back. Though we do have a fairway to go yet .. but one day at a time !!

THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!

:ghug

I just want to say Sub that after reading your post here it felt exactly as if I was reading an old post of my own. The parts I put in bold were the ones that could have been written by me 6 months ago. The only way I have succeeded this far is because of saying and believing alcohol is part of my past life and there's no room in the future for it. I drank enough for many lives and now I am being born into a life that has no room for it.

I usually just read in this 2 weeks and under thread, but I HAD to respond after reading your post.

You are all going to make it. I can feel it. Thanks again Sub!

[Hope]

Every recovery begins with one sober hour, one sober day.

Every day sober counts.

I know that you can all do this. It isn't easy sometimes. It is a real struggle. But just for today, you can make the choice to stay away from it.

We all deserve recovery.

[hollyce]

Originally Posted by Eclipse

Day 3 for me. Feeling relief. Still a little shaky and have a huge headache, but this will pass.

Good job everyone!

I'm on Day 3 too. Feeling less tense when I just think about today. Funny though, I wondered this afternoon, "I'm quitting drinking alcohol, but do I have to quit partying otherwise if every other substance I use doesn't grab a hold on me? Like eating mushrooms 3 times a year? Or doing coke 3 times a year? Or smoking pot if my back hurts?"

I wondered if I could do these things and NOT drink. Hmmm...
Thoughts?

[colagirl]

Hi everyone,
I'm going to start posting on this thread again. I got to 35 days twice earlier this year and this thread helped a lot. Then I stopped using it and have been sucked back in to the addict voice. Even right now my stomach is tensing a little bit, trying to tell me that it would feel nice to have a glass of wine. I've given in too many times in the past few weeks and ended up back at the same place - at least a bottle in, passed out on the couch in my clothes, miserable the next day. So tonight, my sober voice wins... day one!! I will try to repeat that tomorrow and each day after.

Glad you are all here. :ghug

[Horselover]

Good for you CG! Fine whatever worked for you before and stick with it hon. Remember cravings past, but they can be a huge pain in the ___________! I have had them more too and I am currently around 6 months. Don't know why they've returned, but its good to know if you can do something else to occupy yourself they will pass. Glad your sober voice wins tonight and hopefully, tomorrow night and the night after and I am getting too far out there. Well, I am out there. LOL!

I thought you were going to change to Diet Colagirl?

[colagirl]

Thanks HL. Diet colagirl is a special name for you and Ananda only . Officially I'm still on the "real" stuff.

I HATE the cravings! But I don't have to give into them. I've been letting myself just because I "feel like it", and that's just stupid.

[CarolD]

hollyce....
Welcome to our support thread...good to know you
are interested in a healthy sober life.

To answer your question about using various other drugs
while continuing to not drink...recovery is such a
awesome way to live...I refuse to diminish mine with drugs.

Also...you can not become addicted
or have problems with substances not ingested.

You might want to do research on cross addiction
and on addictive personalities.

Well done on your sober time..