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12-11-2008, 07:36 AM
| #351 (permalink) |
| recovering  |
I was stuck in "two weeks and under" forever. I kept getting back up and crawling back on the wagon. Never give up, never! And don't pick up that first drink! You CAN do this!:ghug
__________________ I'd rather live in my van with my dogs than live in a mansion without them. Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Plus que je connais les hommes, plus j'aime mon chien. (The more I know mankind, the more I love my dog)  |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post: |
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12-11-2008, 09:05 AM
| #352 (permalink) |
| being me  Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: SD, CA
Posts: 238
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I too had a million day 1's until I finally realized that I needed that "divorce" like PB said. I think that is a great way to put it and I too kept trying to "get back together" hoping that it would treat me differently. This thread got me through the first days for sure. Now that I have been "separated" from alcohol for a little while (day 53), I am able to reflect on how it makes me feel and how it treats me like crap. When I try to drink only a few, I can't stop myself from drinking more. When I drink more than a few, I don't know how I will act towards myself and others. As I have begun to accept these facts about this "partner" alcohol, it makes me not want to be with them. I have more giving relationships to pursue. Take care all! Follow the good relationships. |
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12-11-2008, 09:14 PM
| #356 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 974
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Day 11, still going. I'm in a great deal of pain right now due to some betrayal of friendships going on around me, I'm feeling very raw. I'm not going to drink, and I won't overreact, nothing can control me if I don't let it.
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to steamvessel For This Useful Post: | HideorSeek (12-12-2008), least (12-14-2008) |
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12-11-2008, 09:44 PM
| #357 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 10,103
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Hang on steam.....as much as it hurts.....getting through those hard times will be worth it cause you will learn more that makes you stronger if you stay sober through the hard times....Care about you steam...
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| The Following User Says Thank You to ananda For This Useful Post: | steamvessel (12-11-2008) |
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12-11-2008, 10:17 PM
| #358 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 974
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Thanks Ananda, I needed to hear that. I don't know why it is whenever I try to get sober I get challenged so much, I guess it must be part of some bigger plan. It's going to take me a little bit to get my trust back with people, but I don't need to worry about that right now. I haven't felt like this since an insecure teenager, it's no wonder I drank to avoid these emotions. Not going to this time though.
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to steamvessel For This Useful Post: | CarolD (12-12-2008), espresso (12-12-2008), FizzyWater (12-12-2008), least (12-14-2008), Pixy1 (12-12-2008) |
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12-12-2008, 04:51 AM
| #359 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: London
Posts: 235
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Hang in there, Steamvessel. I always get so much from your posts. I really liked what you said the other day, about ensuring that we make room for our own wellness and recovery - that has really helped me during the last few hours infact. Something really strange happened yesterday. When I left work, it was almost as though my feet were on auto-pilot to the supermarket to buy wine. My mind kept saying "No! No! No!", but my feet kept going towards the store. Then, as I was walking down the pavement, my trousers got snagged on some railings, and a loud ripping sound announced the sudden removal of a large piece of my trousers. I was so embarassed, I couldn't go into the shop, I just ran home as fast as I could. And when I got home, I was safe, and filled myself up with lots of fizzy mineral water. I'm so happy today because I didn't drink yesterday!  |
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| The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to PaddingtonBear For This Useful Post: | CarolD (12-12-2008), espresso (12-12-2008), FizzyWater (12-12-2008), grrrr (12-12-2008), least (12-14-2008), Pixy1 (12-12-2008), steamvessel (12-13-2008) |
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12-12-2008, 08:09 AM
| #360 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: PNW
Posts: 87
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Day 19 today for me. The last couple days have been pretty rough, I haven't been able to sleep and haven't had an appetite at all. I've just been in a major funk and not really sure why. I do feel a little better today though. I'm going to a Lifering meeting tonight for the first time so hopefully that goes well. Hope the rest of you are doing well! |
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12-12-2008, 08:29 AM
| #361 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Edina, MN
Posts: 7
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Hi all, Hang in there Steam, we are all here with you. PB the universe works in mysterious ways. I just love stories like that, it feels like something out there is on our side, even if we're having a difficult time cooperating. SB |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Snowbunnie For This Useful Post: | CarolD (12-12-2008), PaddingtonBear (12-15-2008) |
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12-12-2008, 08:49 AM
| #362 (permalink) | |
| Member  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 22
| Quote:
Thanks i really appreciate it...i am feeling to good after just a handful of days i dont want to sit around and let it collapse in on me. I have to get those braces up and start to reinforce my progress. 5 days and WOW what a difference. I wake up in the morning and i feel like i should have to pay some sort of tax or fee to feel this good. Thanks guys all the best  | |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to downtown3 For This Useful Post: | CarolD (12-12-2008), HideorSeek (12-12-2008) |
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12-12-2008, 02:15 PM
| #363 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 928
| Hey Everyone~ I haven't been around much the past few days, been feeling like crap. I'm Frustrated, Pissed Off, Aggravated...wishing the Holiday season was OVER!!!!!!!!! I swear I'm never more miserable than I am between Thanksgiving and New Years. Makes me want to throw in the towel and drink myself into an oblivion until January 1st...
__________________ ~I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I've ended up where I needed to be~ Sober since 12-01-08 |
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12-12-2008, 05:35 PM
| #364 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA
Posts: 21,649
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PB...mysterious happenings are what I call "God Shots" I get a Zing! and things change for my benefit. I don't recall a rip saving my sobriety tho...  So glad it did for you! Onward we go! 
__________________  Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery! :  |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to CarolD For This Useful Post: | PaddingtonBear (12-15-2008) |
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12-12-2008, 05:53 PM
| #368 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA
Posts: 21,649
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Mari...double Don't forget to be gentle with yourself. You deserve health and healing this year. Yes...you can continue to recover... 
__________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery! : |
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12-12-2008, 07:10 PM
| #369 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 42
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It's Day 6 for me! I am dealing with the Friday Night Blues right now, but I am getting ready to play a game with my girls and watch a movie....I guess I'll remember it tonight! LOL
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| The Following User Says Thank You to chick3 For This Useful Post: | CarolD (12-12-2008) |
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12-12-2008, 09:11 PM
| #371 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 928
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Thanks Carol. I'm just having a hard time.I mainly want a drink not because of the physical aspect of it but because of my emotions. They are all over the place and I just want them to go away! I've had days this week when I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. I feel okay one minute and the next I want to bash my head against a wall... Today I went to the public library and had the AA Big Book in my hands ready to check it out. I was too embarrassed to do so and put it back. I was with my youngest child and I worried the lady would look at me and think "What a horrible parent!" I feel like I'm constantly being judged and I'm sure it's my imagination but it's driving me crazy. Yes, I'm staying sober. But I'm in a lot of emotional pain that I simply wish would disappear...I know a few bottles of wine would make it go away, even if just for one night. But I'd be right back where I started in the morning. I don't want to be sober and miserable, what's the point in that? Not that my misery wasn't there when I drank, I was just able to at least shut it up.
__________________ ~I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I've ended up where I needed to be~ Sober since 12-01-08 | |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mariposa18 For This Useful Post: |
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12-12-2008, 10:21 PM
| #372 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA
Posts: 21,649
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*sigh* Yes...unfortunately ...mood swings are part of early sobriety Mari..... ...and they suck.Here is the Big Book on line. Big Book On Line You will find many things do not apply to you Or the fact that it is slanted to men irratating ...  However.. I've found my silution to happy sober living right there. We also have a Forum here Alcoholism 12 Step Support http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-support/ The top 2 sticky post have information. I'm tickled you are willing to explore everthing possible. 
__________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery! : Last edited by CarolD; 12-12-2008 at 10:37 PM. |
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12-13-2008, 09:18 AM
| #373 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: PNW
Posts: 87
| Quote:
I was feeling pretty lousy most of the week but today I feel great and am feeling better than ever about my sobriety. Its definitely been a rollercoaster of emotions lately.  | |
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12-13-2008, 10:27 AM
| #374 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 928
| Good Morning Everyone~ I"m sorry that I haven't responded to each of you personally. I feel selfish for only venting the past few days =( Carol~ Thanks for the advice, I truly appreciate it =) Day 13 today...this is when I relapsed last time the day before Thanksgiving, 1 day before my 2 weeks were up. Won't do that today. I need and want to be sober, I won't give in no matter how much I think I can't stand the hurt anymore. I'll deal with it the best I can...
__________________ ~I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I've ended up where I needed to be~ Sober since 12-01-08 |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Mariposa18 For This Useful Post: | ananda (12-13-2008), CarolD (12-13-2008), HideorSeek (12-13-2008), least (12-14-2008), PaddingtonBear (12-15-2008) |
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12-13-2008, 10:46 AM
| #375 (permalink) |
| Ending the Old Me. Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
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Starting Day 7 today. This past week flew by, it helps that I was very busy with work. I'm in the middle of transitioning from my old company to a new company on Monday. Which will be stressful but it's also a blessing and another reason to stay sober, I need to be at the top of my game. Had a really great meeting last night. I love this Friday night meeting; it's a great group, always good for a ton of laughs and just what I need on Friday nights to keep my mind off of the bars. Appetite is back with a vengenance and I'm sleeping a ton. I never slept good when I was drinking; either I was passed out or tossed and turned all night. I've been down this path so many times before I know what to expect physically. I can't wait until I really start to feel normal again. Feeling really good this morning but I know the rest of this weekend will be a challenge and the mind games will start. I'm skipping a Christmas party today because I'm just not ready to deal with any triggers right now. I know I could survive the party for a few hours but it's just not worth the stress that always hits me hours later. I'm just trying to stay focused on the here and now and stay in the moment. I'm not drinking at the moment and that is all that matters. I don't know what will happen later, tonight, tomorrow; but at the moment, I'm sober and happy. Hang in there everyone and come visit us here if your getting stressed out and need a break. This can be done, 2 weeks is easy to do.
__________________ "It only takes one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth." George F. Burns |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Omega Man For This Useful Post: | CarolD (12-13-2008), HideorSeek (12-13-2008), least (12-14-2008), Mariposa18 (12-13-2008), PaddingtonBear (12-15-2008) |
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