For Those with Less than 2 Weeks Sober Part 6

[Mariposa18]

Originally Posted by November77

Mariposa ~ How are you doing today?

Today hasn't been so good. I'm so tired of these damn addictions! Alcohol, Food, they both torture me. I drink and can't stop, I eat and can't stop. WTF! No, I haven't had a drink, I'm eating like a pig instead. I've 10lbs already in the past 2 weeks. I'm simply disgusted with myself at the moment...I just keep continuing to replace one addiction with another

[Jakey]

Mariposa you are doing great! I wouldn't worry about the eating problem right now, that is something you can deal with down the road once you are furthur along in your sobriety. Not drinking should be your main priority now and it sounds like that is going pretty well right?

[November77]

Mariposa ~ I know what you mean. I'm smoking more now that I've quit drinking. Which doesn't make a damn bit of sense. Because before I wasn't smoking that much. I've been eating more too of course. Just can't win it seems. Are you eating more carbs? I was doing that too. I'm trying to eat more fruit and soy beans. Not everyone likes soy though. I like putting some sea salt on them, it's yummy and healthy.

When we were drinking(at least for me) I didn't eat a lot of carbs because the alcohol was pretty much filling me up. So since I stopped drinking, I started eating more, especially high carb foods. I think it's way for our bodies to compensate for the lack of alcohol. Just my take on it.

I hope you feel better. Just hang in there.

It seems never ending at times.

[Mariposa18]

Originally Posted by Jakey

Mariposa you are doing great! I wouldn't worry about the eating problem right now, that is something you can deal with down the road once you are furthur along in your sobriety. Not drinking should be your main priority now and it sounds like that is going pretty well right?

The not drinking is actually going very well! You're right Jakey and I know that I need to focus on one thing at a time. I worry because I just recently lost that weight and don't want to lose that battle in order to win this one, you know? I know better than that and I worked my ass off (literally! lol) to get here so I don't want to mess that up.

I swear if I could get all my ducks in a row at the same time I'd conquer the damn world! lol And talk about mood swings! This morning I wanted to run my car into a wall and now I'm feeling better. :wtf2

[Mariposa18]

Originally Posted by November77

Mariposa ~ I know what you mean. I'm smoking more now that I've quit drinking. Which doesn't make a damn bit of sense. Because before I wasn't smoking that much. I've been eating more too of course. Just can't win it seems. Are you eating more carbs? I was doing that too. I'm trying to eat more fruit and soy beans. Not everyone likes soy though. I like putting some sea salt on them, it's yummy and healthy.

When we were drinking(at least for me) I didn't eat a lot of carbs because the alcohol was pretty much filling me up. So since I stopped drinking, I started eating more, especially high carb foods. I think it's way for our bodies to compensate for the lack of alcohol. Just my take on it.

I hope you feel better. Just hang in there.

It seems never ending at times.

Oh Yeah, I'm ingesting WAY too many carbs! Not a fan of Soy but I love fruits and veggies~ I actually enjoy eating healthy but that isn't satisfying me right now, you know? I want carby, fatty, food!

When I was drinking I would at times even skip dinner because as I would say I would rather "Drink My Calories!" Yeah, I would actually say that crap! I think you are on to something November. We deprived our bodies of proper nutrition when drinking and now that we aren't it's like our bodies don't know what to do yet.

I know this shall pass, I just get so frustrated. I've also been stuck in this house all week and I seriously need to get out and do something!!!!!

[November77]

I hear you Mariposa, it sucks!

I'm coming down with a cold. I rarely get sick. It figures now that I stop drinking I get sick. But then there are some people that just don't know when to stay home when they have a cold. This one lady at work, brags how much Paid time off she has, but yet never uses it. Here I am low on PTO and trying to save it and she comes in and coughs on everyone

Then my husband who should learn to keep his damn mouth shut tells me that I brought it on myself, I kept saying that I didn't feel well so therefore I made myself sick. Had nothing to do with the fact that some broad comes into work coughing all over the place, doesn't bother to cover her mouth. Gawd, why is it always my fault when something happens? Sorry, just venting LOL

[Mariposa18]

November~ I'm sorry you are getting sick! Try to rest as much as you can and gets lost of fluids. Gatorade is a saving grace for me when I'm sick.

Those people who brag about never missing days but show up sick BUG ME!!! I mean for real, it's flu season people! I feel you Girl, that's annoying. Hubby thinks you willed yourself to get sick? Smack him! lol I know sometimes it feels like we are getting blamed for everything. Vent away, holding that in is what makes us feel worse, specially right now. Take a time out, I swear I've been taking them all morning! lol

[Jakey]

Nice going steamvessel! I always feel good after a visit to the gym too. Take advantage of that new lease this time, you never know how many more you will get. I know I've already had more than my share!

[November77]

Congrats steamvessel!

[Chook]

Mariposa, November and Steamvessel heartfelt congratulations on your continued success in moving forward. November I hope you are feeling a bit better today and can fully recuperate from your cold over this weekend.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is I haven't touched a drop of alcohol and am now entering day 12. That is my longest period of sobriety for 17 years.

The bad news is that our friend did indeed visit from interstate and did indeed bring the "good times" with him and I'm afraid I did indulge in something other than alcohol. God I feel so terrible. It's not that I have a problem with this other stuff, but what the hell is the point of getting off alcohol if I replace it with something else? I actually consoled myself at the time that it was OK because I definitely wouldn't be drinking. Pathetic.

Everyone else in our house (my husband included) has gone out to dinner and then clubbing and they will all be on it tonight. I pretended to be asleep and wouldn't wake up (again - so damn pathetic) so I could stay home tonight. At least I won't be tempted again by our friend's "good times". It just seems that no matter what you say, no matter how you try to prove that you are serious about getting clean, no-one else takes it seriously.

Anyway, the upside is I am safe tonight, I will make it through day 12 and I don't have to please anyone else (also sick of feeling so selfish - wasn't I taught to please everyone else first?).:praying

[ksplash5]

nice to read this last page right now.


i need/needed it

i walked throu some difficult moments. just now. after i dropped my daughter off. I felt rejection. and i wanted to use. then i imagined, unconsciously, what it would be like to hit the pipe again. and i didn't like it. just as i wouldn't like it after i actually used...

but i still wanted to use...so i called people until someone answered the phone. and I continued on my way home. so i'm safe now...pretty safe...either way I'm going to stay clean today no matter whnat. I think the "red flag" moment(s) are past, but i have to be aware. aware of my thoughts.

and speaking of eating...mariposa...oh last night was a bad eating night for me....i ate until my stomach hurt. but, Like you, I didn't use!!!

[Mariposa18]

Hey Guys~ I haven't read through the posts but will later tonight and respond to everyone. I just wanted to pop in and say Hello =) Today is my son's birthday and I couldn't think of a better reason to stay sober, I really am blessed =)

God Bless you all and STAY STRONG!!!!!

[least]

Hugs for everyone. I used to be a permanent resident of this thread. Just couldn't get past two weeks without falling down. But if I can do it, it can be done!

[Mariposa18]

Steamvessel~

Congratulations! Stay strong, you can do it =) Working out is such a natural high, it really is one of the best way for us to stay on track~ Good Going!

[Mariposa18]

Chook~ I'm so proud of you for staying away from the alcohol~ Listen, don't beat yourself up for the "good time" slip. BUT DON"T TOUCH IT AGAIN! I understand rationalizing your way to it, but now that you see what a bad path that is just don't touch it. And seriously, what's up with Friends pressuring you? That pisses me off! I know I"m going to sound like a freaking after school special but say no and walk away. Take a cab home if you need to, go to your room and leave them be. I know it's a lot harder to do than me just saying it, but if they can't respect you trying to get better then how much do they love you anyway, kwim?

You are NOT being selfish. Putting yourself last is probably what got you here to begin with, right? As women we are taught to take care of others and please others first. I mean how many Women out there seem to take joy in saying all they've given up for others? It's not healthy and we need to take care of US, period!

Stay Strong Girl~

[Mariposa18]

KSplash~ I'm so proud of you for recognizing those triggers! It's so good that you realized it and took the time to call someone to talk to until the moment passed. You'll get there, one step at a time! Good Job =)

[Mariposa18]

Least~ Thanks for the encouragement! Good Job on your ongoing sobriety, I see you are coming up on 5 months next Sunday! That's Fantastic =)

[Mariposa18]

Good Morning Everyone~ I hope you are all having a great weekend =)

Well, yesterday went well. My Son had a great birthday surrounded by Family and Friends =) I did have a moment, where I would have KILLED for a Beer! MIL was driving me insane and I told Hubby "I so want a beer!" he answered "No you don't, you want some of my yummy Diet Sunkist!" lol I also had a huge headache. Hubby got up and next thing I know he brought me something to eat and a Sprite =) I ate, took some ibuprofen, and in-laws left! lol It took about an hour but I finally felt better, didn't drink, or over-eat either!!!!! I was proud of me =)

Today is a beautiful day and Day 7~ I plan on doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Actually, I might go get my nails done =) I'm going to relax, read, watch Football, but I'm not answering a phone, going to anyone's house, or doing anything that won't bring me joy =)

[CarolD]

Good to see you are making solid progress Mari...

For my manicure last week...I picked a holiday red
with sparkles. Looks festive and fantastic.

I did an early AA meeting ...joined others for coffee afterwards.
Yes...it will be a football afternoon for me too
Go Falcons! I'll have diet Coke and .

Onward we go...

[sicilia1414]

Hello all, I just wanted to pop in also to see how everyone is doing...

MARI - I'm so happy your son's bday went well! I also had a horrible headache yesterday and took some tylenol for it, which is rare cuz I hate pills but my head was throbbing. Enjoy day 7 just chilling and hanging out.

[BrixtonBear]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted recently, I've not been doing so well recently

Last week I was coming down with flu,
and made the massive mistake of taking a drink to alleviate the symptoms
and it's all gone horribly wrong since then

Got to try to break out of this downward spiral

I wish there were such things as "sobriety angels", like trainee angels who have to earn their wings by helping a suffering, alcoholic human to get and stay sober. I could sure do with one right now


Sorry I'm not doing so well, thanks for listening!

[espresso]

PB can you get to a meeting today? Do you have AA phone nos for support?

[BrixtonBear]

Hi Espresso,

Thanks alot for your post. Yes, I'm going to get to a meeting today after work. I've missed a few meetings the last few days due to feeling too ashamed to attend, but I know I have to get back to meetings quickly - otherwise things will just get worse.

Thanks for helping me!
PB

[espresso]

No need to feel ashamed: people will be glad you've gone back to get well. The illness wants us to feel "ashamed" so that we end up feeling so sh***y in ourselves, we drink again. Good Luck and just keep things in the day!

[Jakey]

Hi guys,

Today is day 15 for me so I guess I need to move on from this thread huh? Seems like just yesteday was day 1, I can't believe its really been 2+ weeks. The first 2 weeks had a lot of highs and lows for me but I am feeling good today and more committed than ever to staying sober forever.

Stay strong!