I've been sober... - Page 7 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

doorknob · 12-04-2008, 09:03 PM

Where is the blowing your brains out emoticon???

This one really doesn't do how I feel justice...

Ago · 12-04-2008, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doorknob

The meeting time was too close to my appointment time... and the psych eval was horrible. Memory tests triggered OCD symptoms which triggered an anxiety attack and then an emotional breakdown. I almost got locked up...

then you did the right thing and called another alcoholic

remember a balanced diet isn't coffee and red bulls.

Can you make a meeting tomorrow?

doorknob · 12-04-2008, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ago

remember a balanced diet isn't coffee and red bulls.

Quote:

Can you make a meeting tomorrow?

Yeah... tomorrow evening.

stone · 12-05-2008, 02:03 AM

Hey Paul, hope you are doing OK now?

doorknob · 12-05-2008, 06:45 AM

Thanks, bro. Honestly, I'm still feeling wicked depressed. It's 5:30 in the morning and I should still be sleeping. It sucks, because I was feeling great on my way into Spokane and starting with a parking fiasco (office was downtown, parking meters and I had no coins), I just spiralled into an abyss. After giving my whole depressing life story, they gave me a battery of memory tests which I failed miserably at. Then I fell apart like a baby in front of an intelligent and attractive young woman. I wanted to be mad at her, but I couldn't. She was way to nice. There was no one to be mad at but myself. I just wanted to die. Now I'm crying again...

Ago · 12-05-2008, 06:49 AM

going to get coffee call me if you want I'll grab my phone

:atv

Tazman53 · 12-05-2008, 07:39 AM

Paul hang tough Bro, call folks. I will be leaving for the weekend in a few so I will chat with you on Monday, I hope things are going better for you. Don't Red Bulls and the like make folks a bit...... EXTREME!!!!! LOL I know I have drank to much coffee and gotten pretty weirded out, perhaps cutting back on them or eliminating them would help..... speeding has never been benificail for me or folks around me!

stone · 12-05-2008, 09:26 AM

Did the tests make you feel dumb or something cos I can tell you that you aren't. It is obvious from your posts that you are intelligent.

Pot effs up the memory, but it comes back after a while.

Mood swings and extreme emotions are all normal when you first quit Paul, in fact they are real extreme at about 30 days or so.

Just hang in there, things will improve soon.

doorknob · 12-05-2008, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stone

Did the tests make you feel dumb or something cos I can tell you that you aren't.

Yeah, man. They made me feel like a total retard. I wanted to run out...

Quote:

Just hang in there, things will improve soon.

Thanks, bro. This is the first time in the last month that I've really wanted to smoke and drink...

ananda · 12-05-2008, 11:53 AM

DK...sorry you are feeling so bad....

You are not your "test score".....tests are usually ridiculus indicators of anything in my opinion except who takes test well or if a person has one of those photographic memories.

I think for me crying is a good thing...I use to cry all the time but the last 10 years I just don't often, and it really is helpful to let the physical reactions to an emotion get released.

please keep yourself safe from the substances and use us instead...we are pretty good substitute!

(wish there was a more serious hug option in the emotocons)

**Dee74** · 12-05-2008, 01:13 PM

hang in there Paul - s'ok

D

bugsworth · 12-05-2008, 01:23 PM

DK...You are strong...you will prove this to yourself..screw the tests.

doorknob · 12-05-2008, 01:34 PM

I just wanna to lock myself in the bathroom with a case of O'Douls and 2 gallons of orange juice...

doorknob · 12-05-2008, 01:39 PM

Smoke some O'dweeds and slap on a Crack Patch...

bugsworth · 12-05-2008, 02:03 PM

See...you haven't lost your sense of humor! Easy on the OJ...keep it in the day...you can do this!

Horselover · 12-05-2008, 02:14 PM

I am so sorry about your experience regarding the tests. It happened to me too and I totally know where you're coming from. Its like we know things, but when it comes to taking tests we freak out. That's my story at least and again I am so sorry you had it so rough. Not fair!!

desertdonna · 12-05-2008, 02:48 PM

I agree with what everyone else has said. Sorry you had such a traumatic time of of it yesterday, Paul. It blows. But so what. It was just an incident. It's not who you are.

It's good that you can come here and let it out among friends who do not judge.

As long as you're not picking up any of that nasty NA beer, or cave in with some OJ.

Stay strong and focus ahead.

Hugs,
Donna

BackToSquareOne · 12-05-2008, 02:59 PM

Hey doorknob, look at the bright side, the worse you do on those tests the better your chances of getting benefits are.

doorknob · 12-05-2008, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne

Hey doorknob, look at the bright side, the worse you do on those tests the better your chances of getting benefits are.

That's true. Hell, not only did I do very poorly on the memory tests, but I had a complete emotional breakdown. I was very close to being involuntarily committed. And the weird thing was, I kinda wanted to be. Of course, I wanted to walk out and make them actually catch me to do it. That would have been fun. If not for the concern of my dogs, I think I would have facilitated that. I wanted to get put away. I still kinda do...

Horselover · 12-05-2008, 04:52 PM

DK - That would be hiding from things and you don't need to do that anymore. You had a breakdown and things overwhelmed you. You better give yourself a break kiddo! I mean facing life is the hardest thing we do when we get sober, but we learn as we go and we FEEL. I think the feel part is difficult myself. You are doing so well and I am glad for your sake as well as your dogs that you only fantasized about that event.

I hope your bad feelings pass soon. You know tomorrow the sun is going to come up, right? You also know there will always be a friend on SR here hoping you'll lean on them? I hope you know those things.

**Dee74** · 12-05-2008, 04:59 PM

What Miss HL said

D

doorknob · 12-05-2008, 05:45 PM

I dunno... I'm feeling pretty dangerous... I'm wearin' myself out on Singsnap, tryin' to complete a take of "Nothin' but a G thang". Not easy...

Horselover · 12-05-2008, 06:21 PM

I think I better take that off. I might get banned. Didn't watch until after I posted it. Me bad!

Inspiring?

doorknob · 12-05-2008, 06:24 PM

I grew up in the hood. It's like watching "Friday". Takes me back...

doorknob · 12-05-2008, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horselover

I think I better take that off. I might get banned. Didn't watch until after I posted it. Me bad!

LMAO, I was wonderin'...

12-04-2008, 09:03 PM	#151 (permalink)
doorknob Knucklehead Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Davenport, WA Posts: 4,014	Where is the blowing your brains out emoticon??? This one really doesn't do how I feel justice... __________________ Get in where you fit in. - Too $hort

12-05-2008, 02:03 AM	#154 (permalink)
stone Member Moon Lander Champion! Shuffle The Penguin Champion! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: UK Posts: 18,199	Hey Paul, hope you are doing OK now? __________________ . As from a fire aflame thousands of sparks come forth, even so from the Creator an infinity of beings have life and to him return again. -- Maitri Upanishads

12-05-2008, 06:45 AM	#155 (permalink)
doorknob Knucklehead Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Davenport, WA Posts: 4,014	Thanks, bro. Honestly, I'm still feeling wicked depressed. It's 5:30 in the morning and I should still be sleeping. It sucks, because I was feeling great on my way into Spokane and starting with a parking fiasco (office was downtown, parking meters and I had no coins), I just spiralled into an abyss. After giving my whole depressing life story, they gave me a battery of memory tests which I failed miserably at. Then I fell apart like a baby in front of an intelligent and attractive young woman. I wanted to be mad at her, but I couldn't. She was way to nice. There was no one to be mad at but myself. I just wanted to die. Now I'm crying again... __________________ Get in where you fit in. - Too $hort

12-05-2008, 06:49 AM	#156 (permalink)
Ago Rawr!!!!!! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Marin County Posts: 2,021	going to get coffee call me if you want I'll grab my phone :atv __________________ Another Day at The Office If you go back to drinking and you haven’t written a Fourth Step inventory, don’t say that you tried A.A. and it failed, because you never tried A.A.

12-05-2008, 07:39 AM	#157 (permalink)
Tazman53 Follow Directions! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Fredericksburg, Va. Posts: 9,284	Paul hang tough Bro, call folks. I will be leaving for the weekend in a few so I will chat with you on Monday, I hope things are going better for you. Don't Red Bulls and the like make folks a bit...... EXTREME!!!!! LOL I know I have drank to much coffee and gotten pretty weirded out, perhaps cutting back on them or eliminating them would help..... speeding has never been benificail for me or folks around me! __________________ All BB quotes are from the First Edition of the BB Follow directions! Sobriety date 18 Sept. 2006 Sober today thanks to AA

12-05-2008, 09:26 AM	#158 (permalink)
stone Member Moon Lander Champion! Shuffle The Penguin Champion! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: UK Posts: 18,199	Did the tests make you feel dumb or something cos I can tell you that you aren't. It is obvious from your posts that you are intelligent. Pot effs up the memory, but it comes back after a while. Mood swings and extreme emotions are all normal when you first quit Paul, in fact they are real extreme at about 30 days or so. Just hang in there, things will improve soon. __________________ . As from a fire aflame thousands of sparks come forth, even so from the Creator an infinity of beings have life and to him return again. -- Maitri Upanishads

12-05-2008, 11:53 AM	#160 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	DK...sorry you are feeling so bad.... You are not your "test score".....tests are usually ridiculus indicators of anything in my opinion except who takes test well or if a person has one of those photographic memories. I think for me crying is a good thing...I use to cry all the time but the last 10 years I just don't often, and it really is helpful to let the physical reactions to an emotion get released. please keep yourself safe from the substances and use us instead...we are pretty good substitute! (wish there was a more serious hug option in the emotocons)

12-05-2008, 01:13 PM	#161 (permalink)
Dee74 Forum Leader Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 14,634	hang in there Paul - s'ok D __________________ May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you.

12-05-2008, 01:23 PM	#162 (permalink)
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,857	DK...You are strong...you will prove this to yourself..screw the tests.

12-05-2008, 01:34 PM	#163 (permalink)
doorknob Knucklehead Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Davenport, WA Posts: 4,014	I just wanna to lock myself in the bathroom with a case of O'Douls and 2 gallons of orange juice... __________________ Get in where you fit in. - Too $hort

12-05-2008, 01:39 PM	#164 (permalink)
doorknob Knucklehead Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Davenport, WA Posts: 4,014	Smoke some O'dweeds and slap on a Crack Patch... __________________ Get in where you fit in. - Too $hort

12-05-2008, 02:03 PM	#165 (permalink)
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,857	See...you haven't lost your sense of humor! Easy on the OJ...keep it in the day...you can do this!

12-05-2008, 02:14 PM	#166 (permalink)
Horselover Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: NM Posts: 3,911 Blog Entries: 3	I am so sorry about your experience regarding the tests. It happened to me too and I totally know where you're coming from. Its like we know things, but when it comes to taking tests we freak out. That's my story at least and again I am so sorry you had it so rough. Not fair!! __________________ Sober date: May 13, 2008

12-05-2008, 02:48 PM	#167 (permalink)
desertdonna Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Glitzville Posts: 335	I agree with what everyone else has said. Sorry you had such a traumatic time of of it yesterday, Paul. It blows. But so what. It was just an incident. It's not who you are. It's good that you can come here and let it out among friends who do not judge. As long as you're not picking up any of that nasty NA beer, or cave in with some OJ. Stay strong and focus ahead. Hugs, Donna __________________ Peace doesn't require two people; it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there. Byron Katie

12-05-2008, 02:59 PM	#168 (permalink)
BackToSquareOne Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bethlehem, PA. Posts: 319	Hey doorknob, look at the bright side, the worse you do on those tests the better your chances of getting benefits are.

12-05-2008, 04:52 PM	#170 (permalink)
Horselover Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: NM Posts: 3,911 Blog Entries: 3	DK - That would be hiding from things and you don't need to do that anymore. You had a breakdown and things overwhelmed you. You better give yourself a break kiddo! I mean facing life is the hardest thing we do when we get sober, but we learn as we go and we FEEL. I think the feel part is difficult myself. You are doing so well and I am glad for your sake as well as your dogs that you only fantasized about that event. I hope your bad feelings pass soon. You know tomorrow the sun is going to come up, right? You also know there will always be a friend on SR here hoping you'll lean on them? I hope you know those things. __________________ Sober date: May 13, 2008

12-05-2008, 04:59 PM	#171 (permalink)
Dee74 Forum Leader Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 14,634	What Miss HL said D __________________ May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you.

12-05-2008, 05:45 PM	#172 (permalink)
doorknob Knucklehead Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Davenport, WA Posts: 4,014	I dunno... I'm feeling pretty dangerous... I'm wearin' myself out on Singsnap, tryin' to complete a take of "Nothin' but a G thang". Not easy... __________________ Get in where you fit in. - Too $hort

12-05-2008, 06:21 PM	#173 (permalink)
Horselover Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: NM Posts: 3,911 Blog Entries: 3	I think I better take that off. I might get banned. Didn't watch until after I posted it. Me bad! Inspiring? __________________ Sober date: May 13, 2008

12-05-2008, 06:24 PM	#174 (permalink)
doorknob Knucklehead Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Davenport, WA Posts: 4,014	I grew up in the hood. It's like watching "Friday". Takes me back... __________________ Get in where you fit in. - Too $hort

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