I've been sober...

[Ago]

Thanks DK,

I just reread this whole thread, and I thought I would add some, what I think, very important distinctions.

First: I couldn't get sober and stay sober if I always had a "story" I drink because (insert story here) or I am different because (insert story here that makes me unique)

I sponsored a guy who couldn't "get it" because he would say "I'm an alcoholic but since I am an "artist" (insert long story about how he was different and not everything applied to him because he was an "artist" and he was "different" and he "suffered more then ordinary people" because he "was an artist"

He hung himself a few years ago, and in my opinion, it's because he could never let go of the "I'm different and here's how"

There's a woman I know who ends every other sentence with "because I am a musician" and 6 years into the program, she's sicker then she's ever been, once again, just my opinion, it's because she keeps that "escape clause" open and active that stuff doesn't "apply to her and she's different and here's how"

For me, I didn't "get better" until I just admitted to myself that I was just "an alcoholic" and I did what "they" told me, my way didn't work so I was desperate enough to try anything, and surprisingly enough, what "they" said to do worked, it really did.

I mean I had to "address" the "other stuff" but I had to leave it out of dealing with my alcoholism.

My name is Andrew and I am an alcoholic.

that's it. that's the whole story. that's why I drank. If I admit that, I can address that, it becomes very simple and it gives me the power to take charge of my own recovery.

I have friends that if they stop taking their meds, fish talk to them and tell them that they are God...they do this deal the same way as I do, and their "outside stuff" becomes "part of their story" but for me, I didn't "get better" until I "let go" of all my "stories" and all the stuff that "made me different, special or unique.

I'm treading on what I consider thin ice, and going over into "your side of the street" with this, and I apologize, but in my opinion it's that important, this is literally life and death, I've come to "like" you via your posts, and you saving your life is more important to me then you "thinking AGO is a nice guy".

Hang in there kid, and keep us updated.

[doorknob]

That's about how far we are from Spokane. My gf makes that commute every day. I'm probably going to end up doing the same, if not for work, for meetings. I have family there, so that helps.

[Freedom1990]

For as small as our town is here, we do have an AA group that is now 30+ years old, and we have three meetings a week. I am so grateful for that group because I am disabled, on a limited income, and can't afford to commute to Wichita for meetings.

[doorknob]

Originally Posted by Ago

My name is Andrew and I am an alcoholic.

that's it. that's the whole story. that's why I drank. If I admit that, I can address that, it becomes very simple and it gives me the power to take charge of my own recovery.

I've got no problem with that. I'm an alcoholic. How and why that came to be isn't all that important. There's no going back. Same with my marijuana addiction.

[doorknob]

Originally Posted by Freedom1990

For as small as our town is here, we do have an AA group that is now 30+ years old, and we have three meetings a week. I am so grateful for that group because I am disabled, on a limited income, and can't afford to commute to Wichita for meetings.

I can't really afford it either, but maybe I can't afford not to. I'm lucky my gf is making a fairly decent income and getting plenty of work. I've been selling stuff on eBay for gas money, and still have lot's of CD's I can sell. I'm actually a really good eBays seller, I wish I could find a good source of product. I had been doing yard sales, but that's pretty hit and miss. I've got family that will help too, so long as the money is going in the right direction.

[bugsworth]

Hey DK! I have a friend that makes a living selling items on e-bay...craigs list too. She put an add in the paper and sells things on consignment for other people. Granted she lives on Long Island...a bit more populated then where you are but you never know.

Keep doing the next right thing and slowly you will be a new person.

[ananda]

DK....just had to jump in here...sorry...

I really hope you try some meetings. the value of meetings for me is alchoholics sharing how they got sober and stay sober with each other. I have found the uniqueness that gets me drunk is if I think I am so different that I cant relate to others. But we are not cookie cutter people and I have had to deal with all those problem things in my life in order to stay sober so far.

I like meetings and SR because we are all struggling to get and stay sober and so we share and i get new ideas. I don't find that everyones esh here or in meetings is aplicable to me, but I do find we have more in common than is different.

My brother is on his way to treatment today. he has been off alchohol for 15 months and prior to that one day had one year. He had some pain issues related to his cancer surgury and treatment and has been on codiene and some other thing in with it. They have been "stepping him down" since August but he is unable to follow the directions for taking it. When they began the tapering off process in August he started back to AA (which he hates...sorry he admires the people he just doesn't find it useful). He was going to one meeting a day this whole time. He is miserablely depressed right now and was depressed all the time before he ever drank or drugged. It is an underlying issue for him.

What I see in him and in you DK is a very strong desire and a very strong willingness to do whatever it takes to get through this and find a solution other than alchohol or drugs.

Sorry you are having a bad morning (hug) I see you on a path that is really going to get you where you need to be ...sober, clean and with an improvement in your "other" stuff.

[doorknob]

Originally Posted by ananda

DK....just had to jump in here...sorry...

Why would you apologize for that? Silly girl! Thanks for your reply.

[desertdonna]

Hey Paul,

Just posting a note of encouragement. You might not be feeling your best, but you're on the road and moving forward.

Like others have said, it's just today and doing the right thing just today. Those small, seemingly insignificant acts and decisions (even posting more here) build up to larger decisions and actions resulting in events shifting around in your favor.

Keep on keeping on. Congrats on all these sober days.

Hugs,

Donna

P.S. Not to hijack, but hi Ananda...I've been thinking of you. Hugs to you, too.

[mtnmagic]

Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you today. Thanks for the honesty you put in your posts.

[least]

I'm glad I know you!

[doorknob]

10 full days today. Thanks for all your support!

[desertdonna]

Way to go, Paul! Every day, just for today.

Hugs,

Donna

[ananda]

DON'T DRINK IF YOUR A$$ FALLS OFF!!!!!!!

[Tazman53]

Keep at it Paul, put a whole bunch of cliches in this post, keep in mind they only become cliches because they work!!!LOL

Paul there is a couple in my neighborhood that makes thier living off of E-Bay, I know one of the ways they get product to sell is Estate sales and yard sales. I know they do their research before they buy things to sell, one item he picked up was a working Juke box, he tripled what he paid for it.

Here is one thing to check out, go to Craigs list and go to the "Wanted" section, this will tell you what people would like to buy ( A lot of stuff I could not beleive! LOL).

BTW you would be amazed at how many folks find work just talking before and after meetings.

Congrats on the 10 days! Cliche, Cliche, & CLICHE!!!!

[doorknob]

I'm checking out locations of AA and NA meetings in Spokane, and trying to psych myself up to go. It looks like AA and NA both have a clubhouse and they're fairly close together. Unfortunately no LifeRing or SMART meetings...

[Freedom1990]

*sprinkles positive psych dust allll over doorknob*

[doorknob]

I went to a meeting in Spokane.

[Ago]

woot grats

how'd it go?

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by doorknob

I went to a meeting in Spokane.

[doorknob]

I'm thinking that out of the whole valley, I hit the right group first!

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by doorknob

I'm thinking that out of the whole valley, I hit the right group first!

Amen, my brother from another mother in a parallel universe! :ghug

I am so so hyped for you!

I'd go outside and do a happy dance, but it's raining right now...lol!

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

go grab a newspaper and go through the Want ads applying for every job advertised

Have you looked at the Want Ads in a newspaper lately. The "Help Wanted" section is shorter than the "Horse & Buggy For Sale" section.

[doorknob]

There were several noon meetings, so I picked the one at the Alano club, allowing me to check that out at the same time. Also, it was the closest to my mom's house, where I had left my dogs, Sienna and Shady. I got there about 15 minutes early, just before the lot started filling up. I was a bit nervous, so I sat in the car for a minute or two, then headed for the door. I opened the door, and the first thing I see, on a big bulletin board, is a flyer that says "Alano Club Karaoke - Friday Nights 9:00 - 11 PM".

[desertdonna]

Originally Posted by doorknob

I went to a meeting in Spokane.

When I saw that you posted this morning that you were psyching yourself up to check out a meeting in Spokane, and then didn't see you around the rest of the day, I thought, "He's getting in his jalopy and doing it!"

Hooray!!! Paul, I'm grinning from ear to ear.

More updates soon, please.

Hugs,

Donna