Here I am again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 437
Thanks, friends 
RT, I think you are right. At 3 months I'm feeling normal again.
I'm having some interesting improvements with my few friends.
One of them is having a hard time and I am being there for him these days. He is very vulnerable and suffering, and I keep explaining to him that weed is bad for us. He agrees with me most of the time and he is currently 10 days clean. I don't believe he will stop forever, but he is being really understanding. I told him that I don't want to smoke ever again, and I asked him for help. We agreed we will never smoke together again, it's over (we began to smoke together when we were young). I told him that if I ask him for weed someday, he has to say "no" to me. I told him "man I can't relapse, if I do relapse it can't be with you, promise me you won't allow me to relapse near you". And he promised me that. So I'm very glad he passed the test of the true friend, he is a true buddy, I'm happy with that.
I still get some pressure from my other two friends, but they are beginning to understand I'm for real and that quitting is the best thing for me.
RT, I think you are right. At 3 months I'm feeling normal again.
I'm having some interesting improvements with my few friends.
One of them is having a hard time and I am being there for him these days. He is very vulnerable and suffering, and I keep explaining to him that weed is bad for us. He agrees with me most of the time and he is currently 10 days clean. I don't believe he will stop forever, but he is being really understanding. I told him that I don't want to smoke ever again, and I asked him for help. We agreed we will never smoke together again, it's over (we began to smoke together when we were young). I told him that if I ask him for weed someday, he has to say "no" to me. I told him "man I can't relapse, if I do relapse it can't be with you, promise me you won't allow me to relapse near you". And he promised me that. So I'm very glad he passed the test of the true friend, he is a true buddy, I'm happy with that.
I still get some pressure from my other two friends, but they are beginning to understand I'm for real and that quitting is the best thing for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Paco:
It's so great that you have the support of your friends. I have none!!! It's not like they will force me to smoke but I'm sure that they would be happy to smoke with me. I also have ZERO support at home. Yesterday I was struggling a bit and my husband started acting like he was smoking and going something like "yum" or "yeah". He smoked infront of me aswell... What a moron. He has no power over me though and those kinds of behaviors fuel me so stay strong. I told my good friend from overseas who was a pothead with me before I moved to the States and he was cool. He told me that he also had to take breaks or he felt crappy but he was never a smoker as I was. I was a nut!!! So much so that I would buy weed to share with my husband and and then a secret stash so that my husband wouldn't complain about it going so fast. I have honestly spent SO much cash on it, it's unreal. My excuse was always that it was the only thing I really spent on. I'm not into nails and hair and that kind of stuff or shopping so that was my defense.
I'm still going.
It's so great that you have the support of your friends. I have none!!! It's not like they will force me to smoke but I'm sure that they would be happy to smoke with me. I also have ZERO support at home. Yesterday I was struggling a bit and my husband started acting like he was smoking and going something like "yum" or "yeah". He smoked infront of me aswell... What a moron. He has no power over me though and those kinds of behaviors fuel me so stay strong. I told my good friend from overseas who was a pothead with me before I moved to the States and he was cool. He told me that he also had to take breaks or he felt crappy but he was never a smoker as I was. I was a nut!!! So much so that I would buy weed to share with my husband and and then a secret stash so that my husband wouldn't complain about it going so fast. I have honestly spent SO much cash on it, it's unreal. My excuse was always that it was the only thing I really spent on. I'm not into nails and hair and that kind of stuff or shopping so that was my defense.
I'm still going.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 437
14 weeks
Today I'm very sad.
I just discovered that the pain in my back is a problem on my spine.
An irreversible and degenerative problem.
So that's it. Not much to say.
I'm dealing with consequences and it's hard. I'm sad.
But I will survive, and that's the tough part I guess.
Today I'm very sad.
I just discovered that the pain in my back is a problem on my spine.
An irreversible and degenerative problem.
So that's it. Not much to say.
I'm dealing with consequences and it's hard. I'm sad.
But I will survive, and that's the tough part I guess.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
I'm sorry to hear that Paco - I have not the same but similar problems.
It is what it is.
I really encourage you to see a few Drs tho - some will just want to put you on pills or suggest surgery - neither of those options were appealing to me.
A tailored low impact exercise programme helps me.
D
It is what it is.
I really encourage you to see a few Drs tho - some will just want to put you on pills or suggest surgery - neither of those options were appealing to me.
A tailored low impact exercise programme helps me.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 437
Thanks very much, friends.
I was really depressed that day when I discovered my illness. Very shocked and sad. But I already accepted the situation. It is what it is.
I'm in pain, I wake up everyday in pain, but it's not a strong pain so I thank God for that. I can live with that. Maybe I can get rid of this pain, maybe not. We will see. My doctor told me to take an injection of corticoids but I decided I won't take any corticoids, they are too strong and bad for my health. I will find some alternativa approach, more natural, if I can.
Of course this new scenario opened the door for relapsing. Opened a door for the "screw it" mindset. I'm vulnerable right now. But I still won't cave in. I'm dealing with consequences from my lifestyle, and smoking weed is a big part of it. I won't make that mistake again, God help me.
Thanks for the support, I really aprecciate it, it means a lot.
I was really depressed that day when I discovered my illness. Very shocked and sad. But I already accepted the situation. It is what it is.
I'm in pain, I wake up everyday in pain, but it's not a strong pain so I thank God for that. I can live with that. Maybe I can get rid of this pain, maybe not. We will see. My doctor told me to take an injection of corticoids but I decided I won't take any corticoids, they are too strong and bad for my health. I will find some alternativa approach, more natural, if I can.
Of course this new scenario opened the door for relapsing. Opened a door for the "screw it" mindset. I'm vulnerable right now. But I still won't cave in. I'm dealing with consequences from my lifestyle, and smoking weed is a big part of it. I won't make that mistake again, God help me.
Thanks for the support, I really aprecciate it, it means a lot.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Yeah, that's good Paco. Wish I had that mindset a few years ago. Just when you think things are bad and can't get worse.
Except then can get worse.
We have options. Out situations can get better, stay the same, or get worse.
Drugs, and alcohol, don't have the ability to make things better. Simply impossible. Many drug users would argue they could keep things the same. They don't recognize the progressive downhill slide until it's gathered so much momentum, it's nearly impossible to stop.
Logically, using drugs serves no purpose. We know that already though. It's the emotional side that wants to avoid negative feelings and looks for the quick fix.
But the quick fix is also quick to leave. We get maybe a couple hours. Then we are right back to square one with rebound depression added to it.
Except then can get worse.
We have options. Out situations can get better, stay the same, or get worse.
Drugs, and alcohol, don't have the ability to make things better. Simply impossible. Many drug users would argue they could keep things the same. They don't recognize the progressive downhill slide until it's gathered so much momentum, it's nearly impossible to stop.
Logically, using drugs serves no purpose. We know that already though. It's the emotional side that wants to avoid negative feelings and looks for the quick fix.
But the quick fix is also quick to leave. We get maybe a couple hours. Then we are right back to square one with rebound depression added to it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 437
You are completely right. Things can go worse very easily with weed. Thank you for that, InControl.
I am comitted to sobriety, but I am depressed and tired from sleeping with pain, so the relapse thoughts sometimes cross my mind. But it's just a thought, not enough to make me act on it and smoke. Far from it. But I feel vulnerable right now, I don't trust myself that much anymore.
I am comitted to sobriety, but I am depressed and tired from sleeping with pain, so the relapse thoughts sometimes cross my mind. But it's just a thought, not enough to make me act on it and smoke. Far from it. But I feel vulnerable right now, I don't trust myself that much anymore.
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