Astonefox

I've been struggling to quit for so long. The longest I've gone has been 10 months. Been smoking since I was 21, 48 now.

A friends death, a looming move and no job have me stressing and smoking again. Plus, this "new" Cali weed is so strong, one hit and I'm out all day. Seriously, sleeping, just wasting days away. Wake up feeling like crap with the same problems staring me in the face. Oh yeah, I'm abstinent in OA and the smoking is threatening my abstinence. Ugh... I want to quit, don't even enjoy it anymore and it's causing health issues. Sick of trying to moderate, it doesn't work, I'm an addict.

Was going to flush it this morning, then my head said(yes, the sick mind)' just roll one big joint and smoke it all up today to get rid of it.'
It's too much for one joint.... I'll be glad when it's gone, but refuse to get rid of it. Oh the insanity.

anattaboy

Been there. You know the drill. The anxiety will settle in a day or two. alertness returns gradually. The temptation is actually stronger for me than booze and I never was a daily smoker. I could never throw it away either. Was such a relief when I was out. Best wishes. You can do this.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Astonefox!!

Dee74

My vote is get rid of it - you want a new life? start it today Astonefox

welcoem aboard

D

wackybunny

Hi Astonefox, welcome to the forum. It sounds like you quit at least once for a while so you can do it. I started when I was 14 and smoked until I was 38. I quit almost a year ago. It was hard but I'm fine without it now. In fact, way better off. I know I can't moderate. I have decided I can't smoke it again or I'll soon be right back where I was. Keep us posted on how it's going.

Astonefox

I dumped most of it, kept two bowls worth. Should be gone tomorrow. Going thru the highs and lows. Talking today to a sponsee in another program really, really helped. Thanks for the support.

wackybunny

So how's it going? Did you get through the last of it?

Astonefox

No. I still have some left. Should be out today. I'm already upset about flushing it and thinking of getting more. Or worse, scraping the resin out. Ugh... I'm in that foul mood stage. I know it horrible for me, but mad I can't have it.

Thanks for asking...

Dee74

I hope you resist.

We all have to start somewhere Astonefox - the longer you put it off, the bigger the task it will be to come off it in the end?

D

Astonefox

I'm out.

wackybunny

Ah, scraping resin. Takes me back to my quitting thread. I was doing that for weeks. Not like it was the first time I did that either. And the obsessive searches of the house... anything to keep the hope of getting stoned alive. Eventually all that ran out and my pipes were clean, the stashes were empty, and I started the journey into no weed. Quitting was one of the best things I ever did in my life. It's worth it. Hang in there.

savarna

good. now ride the waves like all of us have to... we are in this together.

Astonefox

Day 1. *bites nails*

Dee74

We've got your back, Astonefox

D

wackybunny

Hope day 1 goes ok. What kind of withdrawal symptoms do you get? I got a lot. Still, is worth it because now I"m on the other side and I'm FREE! The only way out is through.

F50Lurker

dude, I feel ya. I have been there more times than I can count. I'm 53 years old. I said to a friend of mine the other day, "Every time I buy a bag I promise myself this will be the last one and then I'll quit. But I always panic and buy more as soon as I run out. I guess I'm going to have to accept the fact that I'm going to be a lifelong weed smoker." He laughed and said "oh, you're GOING to be one, are you?"

after you smoke that last bowl, I'd advise throwing away all your paraphernalia in a trashcan somewhere that you can't go back to. Good luck.

wackybunny

I did that a thousand times I'm sure. However, one magical time I really didn't get any more! It's not impossible, just don't give in the panic. The panic feels scary but it's just a big old fake boogey man. It goes away. It's easy to say now but trust me - I understand what it's like to stand at the edge of that cliff and not be able to jump.

Astonefox

I ended up scraping the ish out of the pipe and smoked yesterday. So today was really Day 1. Slight headache and some mild mood swings. Nothing major. I can handle it, I just get in my own way most of the time. Hoping this is the end of my weed smoke for awhile. I just have to get out of self will. Boredom and self-pity are big problems too. Throwing away my paraphernalia or hiding it someplace hard to reach, I've done all of that. If I want to smoke, I'll just buy new stuff. For me Those things aren't the problem/issue.

Dee74

Glad you're on your way

mix your routine up a little - try not to sit around too much

Be careful on the social front and try and avoid other smokers...the suggestion to throw out all your pot-related implements is a good one too

D

Astonefox

Had incredibly violent dreams last night. Don't know if it's related.