Four police officers at door...
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Four police officers at door...
(Note - I just realized how long this is. Maybe no one will have the patience to read it, if you do, thanks. If no one does, well I think it helped me to just composing it.)
So this afternoon was going well. Planned to go shopping w/ son when he came home from work. He just confirmed to me what time he was working til so that I could plan the rest of my afternoon, and shortly after, two police officers at my door. Wanting to know if I own a certain kind of car.
Yes, I do. Wants to know where it is. I said, my son has it at work. Is he at work now? Yes, I just spoke to him.
Now I'm getting hysterical. Why? Was my son in an accident? (Not logical, I know, I'd spoken to him maybe 10-15 minutes before, so how could he have been in an accident and police are already at my house??! Couldn't of course.)
Now two more cops showed up. Four of them. One tells me, no he wasn't in an accident, my car was involved in illuding (sp?) the police, "which is a SERIOUS matter" he says "a felony" he says -- Asks if he can see a pic of my son to identify if he's the driver. I have one right on the bookcase. My hands are shaking. I feel like I'm having a heart attack (no, it's a panic attack.) Takes quick look and hands it back.
Says - can you call him at work right now? See if he's at work?
I called son, he answered. He was at work, but I could hear his phone do that chirp that indicated his phone battery was dying. I told him, call me back immediately from (co-worker/supervisor)'s phone.
He called right back. Now I have him on the supervisor's phone, so I know beyond any doubt he is at work. I tell him - there are 4 police at the house, looking for your car. Where is the car?
He says a friend had gotten dropped off - came to visit him at work (if you knew where he worked, it would make sense.... it's kind of a tourist attraction). They talked for a bit, he was working, she had a snack with her and it was hot, so she asked if she could sit in his car and have her snack. Sure. Car's locked so he gives her the keys. Have your snack, open the windows. Lock up when you're done.
He's busy working THANK GOD SIDE BY SIDE with supervisor. Time passes, but you know how it is when you're busy, you don't realize how much time. It's a lovely area; he figured either she fell asleep in the car or decided to take a walk through the neighborhood, or was somewhere on his work's property where he could not see her.
I ask - is she there now? Do you see her? - no.
I ask - where is the car He says he'll walk over to where it had been parked. I don't want him to leave his supervisor's side, but the police officer says, yes, let him go look,
He says, no the car is not there.
Cop wants to know - address of his work, who did he give the key to? (He answers) - wants to know her address, how old is she, etc. (he answers)
I tell cops - see, my son is at work! Cop -- how do we know someone didn't just drop him off?
Me - because he's been working w/ his supervisor all day.
I say - what's he supposed to do if she drops off the car? He says we can't take it. We have to call police because this is a criminal matter.
Cops leave. Last one leaving seems nicest. I say, is there a warrant for my son to be arrested? He says (actually sympathetically) -- not yet, and leaves,
I tell son stay with (supervisor) the entire time you're there. I'm calling attorney and will call you back. When you need a ride home call me. If (friend) brings the car back, do not go in it. Call police or call me.
Of course I have to tell the attorney that I have no idea of any of the cops' names, never asked. I was just in a panic, I thought they were there to tell me my son was dead! He says sit tight. He'll call police, find out what's going on and call me back.
He calls back. Connection is terrible. But I can hear enough to know he said that they have identified (friend) as the driver. There was someone else in the car with her (not him -- unknown person), and the words that made my heart sing, "They're not charging your son with anything."
I call son, relay. about 45 minutes later, he says he's ready to come home from work. I pick him up. We circle the block once, just to see if she's dropped off his car. No.
Drive home. I'm still in a panic. I hand my son a pee drug test, which he takes without hesitation and passes THANK YOU GOD.
I'm starting another panic attack because I'm so overjoyed that he's safe, straight, and has witnesses that he never left the work property.
I calm down. Son texts attorney and asks "should we report car stolen?" he says - yes, you're the victims.
We go to police station of his work's town. Talk to police, file report. The offer says that it's not actually "stolen" it's considered "taken without permission". We have to go on Tuesday to their court area and can pick up his incident report and then file charges. he's so nice, so I ask him -- if she tries to contact son, should he ignore her? I don't want him in her trouble. He says, no, go ahead and answer or read the text. See if she says where she went or where she has the car, so you can go get it. He says -- you two are the victims here.
I tell him the other town's (the town where we live) police said we can't just take the car; he makes a face like he thinks they're being ridiculous. As far as he knew at that time she'd not yet been apprehended (they'd checked whatever source police check for these things, to see if my car was in police custody or if she was.)
So it's over five hours since they showed up at my house. We know nothing about the car's whereabouts; she has not tried to call my son.
He's gone to a Meeting where his sponsor will be. Borrowed dad's truck.
I told him and my husband told him -- the only thing you're guilty of today is making a bad decision to hand over your car keys. She did the rest without your permission and you were not with her.
I am so thankful he has a sponsor. They just teamed up last weekend. What a God-send, and perfect timing. I don't want him to become stressed or anxious or triggered by all this. I'm so glad he has to work tomorrow. I'll drive him and he'll be busy and productive all day.
So this afternoon was going well. Planned to go shopping w/ son when he came home from work. He just confirmed to me what time he was working til so that I could plan the rest of my afternoon, and shortly after, two police officers at my door. Wanting to know if I own a certain kind of car.
Yes, I do. Wants to know where it is. I said, my son has it at work. Is he at work now? Yes, I just spoke to him.
Now I'm getting hysterical. Why? Was my son in an accident? (Not logical, I know, I'd spoken to him maybe 10-15 minutes before, so how could he have been in an accident and police are already at my house??! Couldn't of course.)
Now two more cops showed up. Four of them. One tells me, no he wasn't in an accident, my car was involved in illuding (sp?) the police, "which is a SERIOUS matter" he says "a felony" he says -- Asks if he can see a pic of my son to identify if he's the driver. I have one right on the bookcase. My hands are shaking. I feel like I'm having a heart attack (no, it's a panic attack.) Takes quick look and hands it back.
Says - can you call him at work right now? See if he's at work?
I called son, he answered. He was at work, but I could hear his phone do that chirp that indicated his phone battery was dying. I told him, call me back immediately from (co-worker/supervisor)'s phone.
He called right back. Now I have him on the supervisor's phone, so I know beyond any doubt he is at work. I tell him - there are 4 police at the house, looking for your car. Where is the car?
He says a friend had gotten dropped off - came to visit him at work (if you knew where he worked, it would make sense.... it's kind of a tourist attraction). They talked for a bit, he was working, she had a snack with her and it was hot, so she asked if she could sit in his car and have her snack. Sure. Car's locked so he gives her the keys. Have your snack, open the windows. Lock up when you're done.
He's busy working THANK GOD SIDE BY SIDE with supervisor. Time passes, but you know how it is when you're busy, you don't realize how much time. It's a lovely area; he figured either she fell asleep in the car or decided to take a walk through the neighborhood, or was somewhere on his work's property where he could not see her.
I ask - is she there now? Do you see her? - no.
I ask - where is the car He says he'll walk over to where it had been parked. I don't want him to leave his supervisor's side, but the police officer says, yes, let him go look,
He says, no the car is not there.
Cop wants to know - address of his work, who did he give the key to? (He answers) - wants to know her address, how old is she, etc. (he answers)
I tell cops - see, my son is at work! Cop -- how do we know someone didn't just drop him off?
Me - because he's been working w/ his supervisor all day.
I say - what's he supposed to do if she drops off the car? He says we can't take it. We have to call police because this is a criminal matter.
Cops leave. Last one leaving seems nicest. I say, is there a warrant for my son to be arrested? He says (actually sympathetically) -- not yet, and leaves,
I tell son stay with (supervisor) the entire time you're there. I'm calling attorney and will call you back. When you need a ride home call me. If (friend) brings the car back, do not go in it. Call police or call me.
Of course I have to tell the attorney that I have no idea of any of the cops' names, never asked. I was just in a panic, I thought they were there to tell me my son was dead! He says sit tight. He'll call police, find out what's going on and call me back.
He calls back. Connection is terrible. But I can hear enough to know he said that they have identified (friend) as the driver. There was someone else in the car with her (not him -- unknown person), and the words that made my heart sing, "They're not charging your son with anything."
I call son, relay. about 45 minutes later, he says he's ready to come home from work. I pick him up. We circle the block once, just to see if she's dropped off his car. No.
Drive home. I'm still in a panic. I hand my son a pee drug test, which he takes without hesitation and passes THANK YOU GOD.
I'm starting another panic attack because I'm so overjoyed that he's safe, straight, and has witnesses that he never left the work property.
I calm down. Son texts attorney and asks "should we report car stolen?" he says - yes, you're the victims.
We go to police station of his work's town. Talk to police, file report. The offer says that it's not actually "stolen" it's considered "taken without permission". We have to go on Tuesday to their court area and can pick up his incident report and then file charges. he's so nice, so I ask him -- if she tries to contact son, should he ignore her? I don't want him in her trouble. He says, no, go ahead and answer or read the text. See if she says where she went or where she has the car, so you can go get it. He says -- you two are the victims here.
I tell him the other town's (the town where we live) police said we can't just take the car; he makes a face like he thinks they're being ridiculous. As far as he knew at that time she'd not yet been apprehended (they'd checked whatever source police check for these things, to see if my car was in police custody or if she was.)
So it's over five hours since they showed up at my house. We know nothing about the car's whereabouts; she has not tried to call my son.
He's gone to a Meeting where his sponsor will be. Borrowed dad's truck.
I told him and my husband told him -- the only thing you're guilty of today is making a bad decision to hand over your car keys. She did the rest without your permission and you were not with her.
I am so thankful he has a sponsor. They just teamed up last weekend. What a God-send, and perfect timing. I don't want him to become stressed or anxious or triggered by all this. I'm so glad he has to work tomorrow. I'll drive him and he'll be busy and productive all day.
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Location: New York
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Oh goodness!! What an upsetting day.
JennaRoseMadre, you handled everything wonderfully. You must've been scared senseless.
I'm so happy your son is okay. Yes, bad decision handing over the keys. Lesson learned, I'm sure. Hopefully, your car turns up soon.
My heart was pounding reading your post. Please take care of yourself. Maybe a nice bubble bath to calm down.
JennaRoseMadre, you handled everything wonderfully. You must've been scared senseless.
I'm so happy your son is okay. Yes, bad decision handing over the keys. Lesson learned, I'm sure. Hopefully, your car turns up soon.
My heart was pounding reading your post. Please take care of yourself. Maybe a nice bubble bath to calm down.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: NYC area
Posts: 856
Hello, Thanks for the kind words. The support here is incredible!
Shortly after I published my post, guess who was back at my door? Two more members of my town's PD! A patrolman and a detective. Que the pounding heart! Wanted to know where my son was. So I said -- at a meeting. What time will he be home -- about 930. The detective said that they needed him to make a statement about what happened today. I told him we'd already done so at the police department in the town where the car went missing from. But that was us saying the car was A.W.O.L. This police dept wanted a statement as part of their case against (friend). Detective said could we come by 11 pm because that's the end of his shift. So they left, I called my son, who was just leaving NA, he came home and off we went to the PD. The detective was a doll. Asked son what happened. He relayed the story. Got to a certain point and the detective said "stop, that's enough" that he needed him to record it, look at a photo array, and then he'd be done. Mission accomplished. He said that there is a warrant for her arrest, and as soon as they find her, he's sure they'll find the car and will get it back to us asap.
My husband? He's just relieved that indeed our son did nothing wrong other than to let someone have his car keys.
Me? I'm sad. I know this young lady. She's been in my home, came out to dinner with our family once. Bought me a Christmas gift. My son did yard work for her father (he's had a stroke and can't)... things like that. Now there's a warrant for her arrest and regardless of anything else, she eluded the police - that's going to be a big charge. I feel sad for her, for her family.
My son is devastated. He considered her such a good friend. He feels betrayed one minute and in denial the next. He really can't believe his friend would do this, betray his trust.
I've been thinking about it since we got home. (Husband and son are both sound asleep ... stress + resolution = sleep for them I guess.) I don't think "she" did this. The addiction did this. My son has known her from around town for a few years, but they grew their friendship because they tend to go to the same Meetings. All I can assume is that she had a "slip" and that altered her personality so that using people, abusing people, lying... were just a means to get what she wanted. I'm angry. But very very sad.
Shortly after I published my post, guess who was back at my door? Two more members of my town's PD! A patrolman and a detective. Que the pounding heart! Wanted to know where my son was. So I said -- at a meeting. What time will he be home -- about 930. The detective said that they needed him to make a statement about what happened today. I told him we'd already done so at the police department in the town where the car went missing from. But that was us saying the car was A.W.O.L. This police dept wanted a statement as part of their case against (friend). Detective said could we come by 11 pm because that's the end of his shift. So they left, I called my son, who was just leaving NA, he came home and off we went to the PD. The detective was a doll. Asked son what happened. He relayed the story. Got to a certain point and the detective said "stop, that's enough" that he needed him to record it, look at a photo array, and then he'd be done. Mission accomplished. He said that there is a warrant for her arrest, and as soon as they find her, he's sure they'll find the car and will get it back to us asap.
My husband? He's just relieved that indeed our son did nothing wrong other than to let someone have his car keys.
Me? I'm sad. I know this young lady. She's been in my home, came out to dinner with our family once. Bought me a Christmas gift. My son did yard work for her father (he's had a stroke and can't)... things like that. Now there's a warrant for her arrest and regardless of anything else, she eluded the police - that's going to be a big charge. I feel sad for her, for her family.
My son is devastated. He considered her such a good friend. He feels betrayed one minute and in denial the next. He really can't believe his friend would do this, betray his trust.
I've been thinking about it since we got home. (Husband and son are both sound asleep ... stress + resolution = sleep for them I guess.) I don't think "she" did this. The addiction did this. My son has known her from around town for a few years, but they grew their friendship because they tend to go to the same Meetings. All I can assume is that she had a "slip" and that altered her personality so that using people, abusing people, lying... were just a means to get what she wanted. I'm angry. But very very sad.
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I'm so glad to hear your son is in the clear. One thing I have learned with my child now 2 yrs sober, is allow the sponsor relationship to be theirs. (As long as you see it is a positive one ). Allow the sponsor to be his sounding board so incidents like this don't interfere in your relationship with your son. It's been hard for me but I have realized what a gift the sponsor is to our family. Taken pressure off us so we can heal and heal our relationship.
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Update, this morning I woke about 8 am, came downstairs to make coffee. Opened my front blinds... and MY CAR WAS IN THE DRIVEWAY.
Called the detective we spoke to on Friday. I would prefer to deal only with him because he's got the big picture. He wasn't there, so I got the dispatcher who sent a patrol officer, who contacted his supervisor. They've towed the car because, of course, it was used in a crime and they have to fingerprint it.
At first the officers were acting like I was suspicious -- wanted to know if the girl was at my house? -NO!
Do I know where she is? - NO!
How'd the car get here? -IDK! It wasn't here at 10:30 last night, and it was here at 8 this morning.
Has she contacted me? Is she in my house. -NO! I said, look, I don't mean to sound fresh, but I've been a wreck about this I feel violated.
Again asked if she is a friend or a girlfriend. - Friend.
I asked him if he could tell me what occurred w/ my car. Nope, just "it's under investigation" and "eluded police." he said it's very serious and this young lady is looking at serious jail time and anyone who protects or hides her is charged with (something, i forget).
Anyway, I was sitting on my front steps, the cops were talking, one called a tow truck flatbed. I think they called the detective. Because next time he spoke to me was different.
I was sitting inside, and he came to the door
can I just look on your entry porch? Maybe she left the set of keys there when she dropped off the car; they're not in the ignition. - sure. (Keys weren't there)
At that point my husband introduced himself and my son also.
Then he said, we'll get this processed and then you can have your car back and your part in this is finished. Sorry, it will be dusty. So I'm thinking the detective might have said, yes, they reported it right away, they're the victims, etc.
So it's a holiday weekend, but he said maybe I can get the car Tuesday.
Thanks anyone who's been reading. It helps me keep calm just by writing these posts.
As much as I'm steaming mad at this girl, I am so relieved the car is back, no damage to it which means she wasn't in an accident; she's not hurt nor did she hurt anyone else.
Called the detective we spoke to on Friday. I would prefer to deal only with him because he's got the big picture. He wasn't there, so I got the dispatcher who sent a patrol officer, who contacted his supervisor. They've towed the car because, of course, it was used in a crime and they have to fingerprint it.
At first the officers were acting like I was suspicious -- wanted to know if the girl was at my house? -NO!
Do I know where she is? - NO!
How'd the car get here? -IDK! It wasn't here at 10:30 last night, and it was here at 8 this morning.
Has she contacted me? Is she in my house. -NO! I said, look, I don't mean to sound fresh, but I've been a wreck about this I feel violated.
Again asked if she is a friend or a girlfriend. - Friend.
I asked him if he could tell me what occurred w/ my car. Nope, just "it's under investigation" and "eluded police." he said it's very serious and this young lady is looking at serious jail time and anyone who protects or hides her is charged with (something, i forget).
Anyway, I was sitting on my front steps, the cops were talking, one called a tow truck flatbed. I think they called the detective. Because next time he spoke to me was different.
I was sitting inside, and he came to the door
can I just look on your entry porch? Maybe she left the set of keys there when she dropped off the car; they're not in the ignition. - sure. (Keys weren't there)
At that point my husband introduced himself and my son also.
Then he said, we'll get this processed and then you can have your car back and your part in this is finished. Sorry, it will be dusty. So I'm thinking the detective might have said, yes, they reported it right away, they're the victims, etc.
So it's a holiday weekend, but he said maybe I can get the car Tuesday.
Thanks anyone who's been reading. It helps me keep calm just by writing these posts.
As much as I'm steaming mad at this girl, I am so relieved the car is back, no damage to it which means she wasn't in an accident; she's not hurt nor did she hurt anyone else.
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I know the police are just doing their job, but I sure understand how you feel violated, JennaRoseMadre. I would be a little peeved myself. You did the right thing in reporting the car.
You can bet your car is going to need cleaned. Fingerprinting is a messy business.
Thank goodness it's not your son involved in this awful mess.
You can bet your car is going to need cleaned. Fingerprinting is a messy business.
Thank goodness it's not your son involved in this awful mess.
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Thanks, Opivotal. And I'm so grateful that his witnesses to his whereabouts during the time this girl was eluding the police, are his supervisors at work. Not his friends, not me. His supervisors.
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