Jan1755

My adult son is addict d to meth and heroin. He has been staying with my daughter but today I plan to bring him to my house. He has druggie friends going in and out of the garage and he even had some pot plants in the garage this past week. He is on searchable probation and was supposed to turn himself into jail last week but did not. We had two cop cars parked in front of my daughters house a couple of nights ago. I told him he has to leave his sisters house because of the drugs and because he could get his sister in trouble also and even her kids taken away. He told me he is trying to come off the drugs and is sleeping and doesn't feel well. My question is am I right to make him come here and get him out of his sisters house. Thanks.

suki44883

If it were me, I would definitely encourage him to leave his sister's house; even trying to convince his sister to make him leave. I would NOT, however, bring him to my home. You will end up with the cops sitting in front of your house, not to mention having an active addict in your home. Trust me...that is the last thing you want.

Also, I wouldn't believe a word he says. The way you know an addict is lying is that you see his lips moving.

Jan1755

Should I just make him leave and be on the street? He needs to do his jail time and the cops need to know where to find him. I agree that I don't want him here as he is any more than he wants to be here but I don't know if I can just kick him to the street. Ideally I would like to place him in some kind of treatment facility

suki44883

An addict won't want to change until he is so miserable that he cannot stand another second of life the way he is currently living. If you or others give him a soft place to land, he will never feel the full consequences of his actions. If he really wants help, he can go to the Salvation Army, which has free rehab services available.

If he belongs in jail, why aren't the cops arresting him if they know he is staying at your daughter's house?

Jan1755

I tried to take him in to jail but they said they won't take him past his turn in date. I am hoping that they will come for him soon. I know he will get clean in jail. I would hope he wouldn't be here for long.

vaya

He can seek help and go to a rehab, a sober living, or even a mission to get a bed for the night. If he is actively using it will bring utter chaos and pain into your life. He can also go into detox for 10 days, get his head together, and they can help him with placements and choices. It's definitely not easy and I've done my share of rescuing my son in various situations and let him back. Leaving him to be homeless was painful, but his choice. Every time I've let him back in my house it's the same thing. What others have said here is true. If he's supposed to turn himself in, why didn't the cops take him into custody. At this point he probably has a warrant out for failing to report or turn himself in, so he will most likely wind up in jail soon. As hard as that can be, it is a blessing to know they can't use (as much) and at least you know they are safe.

MyJoey

Jan are you still around? What happened?

AdelineRose

Please don't bring him to your house, then when they come to search there will be drugs in YOUR house and you will have to deal with all the chaos that comes with it.

He is an adult and he is has made his decision to continue using. I was a heroin addict and my mom said treatment or get out and I left. A couple months later I finally got tired of living in the woods, begging for money, and always being sick and I finally got clean. There isn't a day I don't thank my mom for being strong and sticking to her gut and making me leave. I swear it saved my life, I would have never stopped if I continued to live comfortably for free in my family home.