For the parents...daily support thread
For the parents...daily support thread
Hi everyone,
I wanted to start a thread today as sort of a daily support for the parents/stepparents/grandparents whose children or grandchildren are struggling with addiction.
I'll start as briefly as possible with my own story.
I married a man whose son is an alcoholic and crack addict, primarily, although he has been known to take whatever he can get his hands on. My stepson's story is a long one of evictions, homeless shelters, jails, prisons, violent encounters with dealers, and so on.
Last year around this time he finally asked to go to rehab after friends found him wandering the city streets where he lives in full blown DTs. He went to rehab, lived in a SLH for a while, got a job, and moved into his own apartment--not fancy, but his.
We just heard from him last night, and he has been fired from his job because of his own actions. We don't know if drinking spurred these actions. He did not volunteer that information, and we did not ask.
Time will reveal more.....and yes, it is painful and sad to just sit with this new information. But thankfully we are not in a tizzy about any of it because we have been through this before and know that panic never makes any situation better. For now, Mr. Seren and I wait, and watch, and think about what we may or may not be willing to do for him if he asks.
Hugs to all, and much love to the parents!
S
I wanted to start a thread today as sort of a daily support for the parents/stepparents/grandparents whose children or grandchildren are struggling with addiction.
I'll start as briefly as possible with my own story.
I married a man whose son is an alcoholic and crack addict, primarily, although he has been known to take whatever he can get his hands on. My stepson's story is a long one of evictions, homeless shelters, jails, prisons, violent encounters with dealers, and so on.
Last year around this time he finally asked to go to rehab after friends found him wandering the city streets where he lives in full blown DTs. He went to rehab, lived in a SLH for a while, got a job, and moved into his own apartment--not fancy, but his.
We just heard from him last night, and he has been fired from his job because of his own actions. We don't know if drinking spurred these actions. He did not volunteer that information, and we did not ask.
Time will reveal more.....and yes, it is painful and sad to just sit with this new information. But thankfully we are not in a tizzy about any of it because we have been through this before and know that panic never makes any situation better. For now, Mr. Seren and I wait, and watch, and think about what we may or may not be willing to do for him if he asks.
Hugs to all, and much love to the parents!
S
Thank you Seren. I think this thread is an excellent. Nobody knows the pain and torment that parents go through with this awful disease like another parent who has actually walked in the shoes.
Much appreciation,
dandylion
Much appreciation,
dandylion
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
wow. THIS is wonderful. Thank you.
Was talking with my Nurse friend today at an Alanoon meeting about SR.
She said she may stop by.
She has a son in the Big House doing time for Drugs, Etc., Inc.
So kind of you to think to put a thread for this.
So if she sees this . . . HELLLOOOO, Nurse!
Was talking with my Nurse friend today at an Alanoon meeting about SR.
She said she may stop by.
She has a son in the Big House doing time for Drugs, Etc., Inc.
So kind of you to think to put a thread for this.
So if she sees this . . . HELLLOOOO, Nurse!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 199
I have a 22 year old son who is a recovering alcoholic. He'll be a year sober in November. He was off at college and hid his drinking from us, so we had no clue he had a problem. He was self medicating his anxiety disorder and depression with alcohol. I feel blessed that he's doing so well now and is back in college. He'll graduate in June. He was an absolute mess when we brought him home for a semester to get sober. I'm so thankful to AA, his counselor, his medical Dr., and most of all , to God. It was the worse thing we've ever gone through as a family. It pierced my soul and made me a totally different person.
Hi upset...he was definitely not fired for drinking. He was fired because of an action on his part, that may or may not have been fueled by alcohol. He was involved in a physical altercation with another employee. Let's say it is something that seems out of character of the sober him.
Thanks
Seren: Thank you for starting this thread, being a parent of an addict, I believe, has very different aspects than any other type of relationship with an addict.
WolfpackFan: My situation is so similar to yours. Our 23 year old daughter was in graduate school and we had no clue was drinking and getting high. It was also to cover up anxiety, depression, and a non-existent self-esteem. We only discovered this a few weeks ago, so we are new to this experience. It has also been such a struggle for our family learning to cope and learning to deal with this situation. It gives me hope that your son will have a year clean in November. Thanks for sharing.
WolfpackFan: My situation is so similar to yours. Our 23 year old daughter was in graduate school and we had no clue was drinking and getting high. It was also to cover up anxiety, depression, and a non-existent self-esteem. We only discovered this a few weeks ago, so we are new to this experience. It has also been such a struggle for our family learning to cope and learning to deal with this situation. It gives me hope that your son will have a year clean in November. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Leana, Welcome to SR...although I hate what brings you here.
Please make yourself comfortable, read as much as you can. A thread that helped me when I first arrived here is this one:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
I'll keep your daughter and your whole family in my prayers
Please make yourself comfortable, read as much as you can. A thread that helped me when I first arrived here is this one:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
I'll keep your daughter and your whole family in my prayers
Sorry you haven't heard from your stepson.
I'm doing ok today. Daughter visited for a few hours yesterday on a day pass. She spent most of her time playing with her dog, which was nice since the dog misses her terribly. Poor thing (the dog, not daughter) for the 1st week we had her (while daughter at inpatient), she just sat at the window crying. Every car that drove by her tail would start wagging and then when it passed the house she'd just start crying again.
Even the dogs suffer when an addict relapses.
I'm doing ok today. Daughter visited for a few hours yesterday on a day pass. She spent most of her time playing with her dog, which was nice since the dog misses her terribly. Poor thing (the dog, not daughter) for the 1st week we had her (while daughter at inpatient), she just sat at the window crying. Every car that drove by her tail would start wagging and then when it passed the house she'd just start crying again.
Even the dogs suffer when an addict relapses.
Sorry you haven't heard from your stepson.
I'm doing ok today. Daughter visited for a few hours yesterday on a day pass. She spent most of her time playing with her dog, which was nice since the dog misses her terribly. Poor thing (the dog, not daughter) for the 1st week we had her (while daughter at inpatient), she just sat at the window crying. Every car that drove by her tail would start wagging and then when it passed the house she'd just start crying again.
Even the dogs suffer when an addict relapses.
I'm doing ok today. Daughter visited for a few hours yesterday on a day pass. She spent most of her time playing with her dog, which was nice since the dog misses her terribly. Poor thing (the dog, not daughter) for the 1st week we had her (while daughter at inpatient), she just sat at the window crying. Every car that drove by her tail would start wagging and then when it passed the house she'd just start crying again.
Even the dogs suffer when an addict relapses.
I suspect it was a combination of a certain amount of immaturity and a fellow employee who was constantly needling him. I think the combination led to this. As I say, we don't know if he is drinking again or not. I certainly hope not, but historically he is rather short tempered when drinking....he is threatening when on crack.
@Leanna, how has your daughter been feeling while in rehab? I hope she has been open to the program and willing to do the work needed!
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