For the parents...daily support thread
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Dear Two, What would you have done if your daughter didn't have a child? Would you be as concerned as you are now? Maybe it would help to meet with your RAD's doctor to ease your mind?
Sending prayers for YOUR peace
TT
Sending prayers for YOUR peace
TT
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
TwoFish, I think the way you are considering this is very healthy. It's very easy to jump back in when there is an innocent baby involved. Your questions about the taper are very valid. I educated myself about suboxone years ago when my daughter was taking it for a short time, but it has been a long time and I haven't read much about it recently. I do understand your concerns but also think it is better than alternatives (using) if one is struggling to stay clean. I didn't know that they had inpatient detox for suboxone. It doesn't seem like a normal inpatient rehab with tools to cope to me. I too thought detox from subs was a long taper process.
The idea of trying to get more answers about the program itself as a means of helping you with all your other questions makes sense to me. Of course the ultimate decision is hers, but perhaps knowing more about options will help you decide what is best for you? Lots of hugs....I hope amid the turmoil you find peace.
The idea of trying to get more answers about the program itself as a means of helping you with all your other questions makes sense to me. Of course the ultimate decision is hers, but perhaps knowing more about options will help you decide what is best for you? Lots of hugs....I hope amid the turmoil you find peace.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear SR supportive, kind and nonjudgemental friends,
I did kind of bombard everyone with so many questions and I'm sorry I should of slowed down...
Dear Theresa,
I wondered that too. But as a momma, like yourself, i will worry and be as supportive as this old mind can be. The precious gift of the baby did throw me right back on the Codie bus...her addiction is hers to fix and manage,...but (there's always a "but", is'nt there?)
the grandson, my heart and mind decided I need and want to help her. Detox from Subs?
IMO, this is a taper question. She is working with her therapist and psychiatrist and all are in agreement, taper. Sure she's being sick of being a slave to the subs, she's also impatient.
The taper is the most valid plan I see. Would she rather go back on opiates? NO, she remembers all too well, those awful, long and painful withdrawals. And that's where "I" come in. If the agreed plan requies a w/d, (yep, I'm sure it will...) I will step forward and care and love my first grandson until she is well enough to resume the momma duties. Please pray for us (me) as I do for JJ, that I make the right, healthy, wise decisions.
TF
Dear
Greeteachday,
Thank you for the much needed support. It truly does help me to know I'm safe here and not being "flammed" for getting involved (again) with her disease.
This time, however, I will be taking better care of ME!
Anyway, SR Family, please have a joyous Easter, filled with HOPE and lasting memories.
Bless SR, you have saved and educated me beyond words!
TF
I did kind of bombard everyone with so many questions and I'm sorry I should of slowed down...
Dear Theresa,
I wondered that too. But as a momma, like yourself, i will worry and be as supportive as this old mind can be. The precious gift of the baby did throw me right back on the Codie bus...her addiction is hers to fix and manage,...but (there's always a "but", is'nt there?)
the grandson, my heart and mind decided I need and want to help her. Detox from Subs?
IMO, this is a taper question. She is working with her therapist and psychiatrist and all are in agreement, taper. Sure she's being sick of being a slave to the subs, she's also impatient.
The taper is the most valid plan I see. Would she rather go back on opiates? NO, she remembers all too well, those awful, long and painful withdrawals. And that's where "I" come in. If the agreed plan requies a w/d, (yep, I'm sure it will...) I will step forward and care and love my first grandson until she is well enough to resume the momma duties. Please pray for us (me) as I do for JJ, that I make the right, healthy, wise decisions.
TF
Dear
Greeteachday,
Thank you for the much needed support. It truly does help me to know I'm safe here and not being "flammed" for getting involved (again) with her disease.
This time, however, I will be taking better care of ME!
Anyway, SR Family, please have a joyous Easter, filled with HOPE and lasting memories.
Bless SR, you have saved and educated me beyond words!
TF
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 277
Good morning my fellow moms. Happy Easter to all. I am so sad today. I miss my son in rehab. I know he's where he needs to be but haven't been able to talk with him at all. Love to just hear his voice one time. Addiction so ugly. My heart hurts today I've never been without my 3 sons on a holiday. Use to appreciate such simple things... Everyone enjoy your day. I will be loving who I can today and thankful he's has a chance to stay sober. Hugs to alll.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Happy Easter. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely today, Twofour. I think you have the right idea to consider all that you are grateful for. It doesn't mean you still won't miss your son, but it helps to find the good in today and send positive thoughts out for what is to come. I am a great believer that what we project comes back to us, so that love you send will be returned many fold!
I hope everyone finds peace and joy today.
I hope everyone finds peace and joy today.
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Good and (very early) morning to all!
Twofour, I understand you have been able to talk to your son at least once...is that right? Does he seem to be improving in his attitude? You know that he and you (and your other two sons) are in my prayers!
Twofish, gold stars to you for working through this dilemma that your dear daughter presented you with! I'm so glad that she is still working with her doctors and counselors to devise a plan that will work best for her. You are a champion!
TT, your precious son JJ is hopefully happily ensconced at 'the ranch' by now. I hope and pray that you will hear good things soon!
Hugs and prayers to all this morning!
What fun does your weekend hold? I have a date night with hubby this weekend!! It's been a while since we have both had an evening free at the same time...
Twofour, I understand you have been able to talk to your son at least once...is that right? Does he seem to be improving in his attitude? You know that he and you (and your other two sons) are in my prayers!
Twofish, gold stars to you for working through this dilemma that your dear daughter presented you with! I'm so glad that she is still working with her doctors and counselors to devise a plan that will work best for her. You are a champion!
TT, your precious son JJ is hopefully happily ensconced at 'the ranch' by now. I hope and pray that you will hear good things soon!
Hugs and prayers to all this morning!
What fun does your weekend hold? I have a date night with hubby this weekend!! It's been a while since we have both had an evening free at the same time...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Seren,
This feels like a tight wire I'm walking on, but, atleast I know better this time
around.
My daughter has her problems and issues with addiction, and I have
my codie issues to battle.
I will be stepping outside of my comfort zone to take care of me
and I'm thinking positively that "I" will find a way of getting better, to feel
"normal" again, to not worry and to stop trying to fix what is not mine to fix.
I do know that I can't do this alone, IMO, support and educating myself are
what I need to focus on.
As far as my dear daughter and her taper off of Suboxone goes...this is her disease
and her war to fight, it will be difficult but not impossible. Her focus is on her sobriety.
I will be there to support her, encourage her, be her momma. What I won't do
is rescue her. This time it will be different. This time I will have control over what
I need to do to heal myself
Oh dear, am I being selfish???
Healthy choices, thoughts and decisions.
Thank you for giving "us" a safe place to cry, vent, talk and not to be alone.
TF
This feels like a tight wire I'm walking on, but, atleast I know better this time
around.
My daughter has her problems and issues with addiction, and I have
my codie issues to battle.
I will be stepping outside of my comfort zone to take care of me
and I'm thinking positively that "I" will find a way of getting better, to feel
"normal" again, to not worry and to stop trying to fix what is not mine to fix.
I do know that I can't do this alone, IMO, support and educating myself are
what I need to focus on.
As far as my dear daughter and her taper off of Suboxone goes...this is her disease
and her war to fight, it will be difficult but not impossible. Her focus is on her sobriety.
I will be there to support her, encourage her, be her momma. What I won't do
is rescue her. This time it will be different. This time I will have control over what
I need to do to heal myself
Oh dear, am I being selfish???Healthy choices, thoughts and decisions.
Thank you for giving "us" a safe place to cry, vent, talk and not to be alone.
TF
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 277
Morning Seren. My son sounded good. Didn't get a lengthy talk but have been invited for a 3 day family week When I spoke with his counselor she feels like he is serious this time and it's not her first rodeo. I like her. He sold his phone so no personal phone down there. Think that is good for now and it wasn't my doing. Struggle with the amount of resources it will take to get down there. Ex spouse thought we'd be going together. Crazy man. Think in some bizarre way he's enjoying this time with me ugh. So never going back to the drinking functional man. So my girlfriend is willing to go with and enjoy sun while I do my mom thing. I'm scared about it Want To see him of course Decisions and non stop debt to participate. So great to hear from you. Hope you having great weekend and date nite was nice....can't imagine a man in my life right now. Don't know who would have me with so so much going on
All good me and my little guy making life happen the best we can.......
All good me and my little guy making life happen the best we can.......
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 277
Originally Posted by Twofish 
Dear Seren,
This feels like a tight wire I'm walking on, but, atleast I know better this time
around.
My daughter has her problems and issues with addiction, and I have
my codie issues to battle.
I will be stepping outside of my comfort zone to take care of me
and I'm thinking positively that "I" will find a way of getting better, to feel
"normal" again, to not worry and to stop trying to fix what is not mine to fix.
I do know that I can't do this alone, IMO, support and educating myself are
what I need to focus on.
As far as my dear daughter and her taper off of Suboxone goes...this is her disease
and her war to fight, it will be difficult but not impossible. Her focus is on her sobriety.
I will be there to support her, encourage her, be her momma. What I won't do
is rescue her. This time it will be different. This time I will have control over what
I need to do to heal myself Oh dear, am I being selfish???
Healthy choices, thoughts and decisions.
Thank you for giving "us" a safe place to cry, vent, talk and not to be alone.
TF
This feels like a tight wire I'm walking on, but, atleast I know better this time
around.
My daughter has her problems and issues with addiction, and I have
my codie issues to battle.
I will be stepping outside of my comfort zone to take care of me
and I'm thinking positively that "I" will find a way of getting better, to feel
"normal" again, to not worry and to stop trying to fix what is not mine to fix.
I do know that I can't do this alone, IMO, support and educating myself are
what I need to focus on.
As far as my dear daughter and her taper off of Suboxone goes...this is her disease
and her war to fight, it will be difficult but not impossible. Her focus is on her sobriety.
I will be there to support her, encourage her, be her momma. What I won't do
is rescue her. This time it will be different. This time I will have control over what
I need to do to heal myself
Oh dear, am I being selfish???Healthy choices, thoughts and decisions.
Thank you for giving "us" a safe place to cry, vent, talk and not to be alone.
TF
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Good morning! Still not a peep from JJ. I feel more and more conscious of the codie fears and broken record of my behaviors as I walk through the emotions and scars from the times in the past where he would go dark. I really have to get myself in order here. Whether he is clean or not clean right now, it once again comes down to how I view him. I seem to be "stuck" in viewing him as always wanting to do the right thing, but being incapable of doing it. I realize that is MY perception and it is a filtered view of him. The truth is probably more in line that he is not in recovery, so the addictive ways are completely in charge. Whether he is actually using or not, it is still the addictive ways in charge. I feel like I am very close to a new level of faith and ability to let him go in good and bad times. Please keep praying and supporting my open heart to hearing the voice of truth and recognizing my dysfunctional thinking of old.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Theresa,
You are not "stuck" IMO, you care, and JJ is a lucky man to have such a compassionate
momma who stand by her child, giving all the support she can give!!
If JJ is usung or not, it's ultamiatly up to him to honor his sobriety.
Taking care of YOU, is the support he needs the most from you.
He is responsible for his
recovery. His disease.
I am always willing to support you and your decisions...we both tend to wear our emotions
on our sleeves...for all to see and possibly (in my case YES) judge us...
I don't see your thinking as dysfuntional...you are and have always been the best momma
you can be. JJ should be grateful to have such a strong and supportive mom in his life.
Love JJ for what he is...your son who happens to have a very strong, ugly
and crazy disease. He's
still in there Theresa.
Many sincere prayers coming your way...I know how much this disease hurts not only
JJ, but you too. I know what this heartache and frustration feels like.
Be good to yourself,
TF
You are not "stuck" IMO, you care, and JJ is a lucky man to have such a compassionate
momma who stand by her child, giving all the support she can give!!
If JJ is usung or not, it's ultamiatly up to him to honor his sobriety.
Taking care of YOU, is the support he needs the most from you.
He is responsible for his
recovery. His disease.
I am always willing to support you and your decisions...we both tend to wear our emotions
on our sleeves...for all to see and possibly (in my case YES) judge us...
I don't see your thinking as dysfuntional...you are and have always been the best momma
you can be. JJ should be grateful to have such a strong and supportive mom in his life.
Love JJ for what he is...your son who happens to have a very strong, ugly
and crazy disease. He's
still in there Theresa.
Many sincere prayers coming your way...I know how much this disease hurts not only
JJ, but you too. I know what this heartache and frustration feels like.
Be good to yourself,
TF
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Twofish, I can only begin to imagine how much of a tight-rope act all this does feel like for you! Please do take the time to take care of yourself...it is not selfish of you. You have our permission
Teresa, that stuck feeling is something I battle in several areas of my life. I can't live and move forward until X or Y situation is resolved. *sigh* I'm working on that, too. But what I try to tell myself is that, you know what, I can be kind to myself, I can live my life, even when some unhappy situation exists in some part of my life. I don't have to put my entire life on hold just because of someone else's actions. Easier said than done, believe me, I know. But a worthwhile realization, I think, I hope, anyway!
Twofour!! I'm so happy your son sounded good and that his counselor seems positive! That must bring some happy relief to your heart! And yay that your girlfriend is able to go with you to the 3-day family weekend...no need to spend uncomfortable hours in a car with the ex
We finally spoke to "Jr." on the phone. *sigh* Well, at least it seems he has a part-time job, still lives in someone else's currently unoccupied home (temporary), still looking for additional part-time work. Jobs are apparently scarce in this town in which he has landed. At least when he called he was not obviously 3-sheets to the wind
Oh well...time will tell.
Teresa, that stuck feeling is something I battle in several areas of my life. I can't live and move forward until X or Y situation is resolved. *sigh* I'm working on that, too. But what I try to tell myself is that, you know what, I can be kind to myself, I can live my life, even when some unhappy situation exists in some part of my life. I don't have to put my entire life on hold just because of someone else's actions. Easier said than done, believe me, I know. But a worthwhile realization, I think, I hope, anyway!
Twofour!! I'm so happy your son sounded good and that his counselor seems positive! That must bring some happy relief to your heart! And yay that your girlfriend is able to go with you to the 3-day family weekend...no need to spend uncomfortable hours in a car with the ex
We finally spoke to "Jr." on the phone. *sigh* Well, at least it seems he has a part-time job, still lives in someone else's currently unoccupied home (temporary), still looking for additional part-time work. Jobs are apparently scarce in this town in which he has landed. At least when he called he was not obviously 3-sheets to the wind
Oh well...time will tell.
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Another Monday check-in!
Two fish!
Bella!
INgal!
chicory!
seek!
IlovemysonJJ!
GardenMama!
TwoFour!
BellaBlue!
irisgardens!
Impurrfect!
Lovenjoy!
Well, I have known for a long time that I need to get more exercise. I sit on my backside all day at a computer, and it is not doing my health any good. I have to figure out some way to make it a priority for me, regardless of how stressful my life gets!
What drove this home for me this weekend was a birding trip to a nearby National Park with my husband (our version of date night!). I'm so out of shape that my arms are sore just from lifting the binoculars to my eyes
How is everyone?!
Two fish!
Bella!
INgal!
chicory!
seek!
IlovemysonJJ!
GardenMama!
TwoFour!
BellaBlue!
irisgardens!
Impurrfect!
Lovenjoy!
Well, I have known for a long time that I need to get more exercise. I sit on my backside all day at a computer, and it is not doing my health any good. I have to figure out some way to make it a priority for me, regardless of how stressful my life gets!
What drove this home for me this weekend was a birding trip to a nearby National Park with my husband (our version of date night!). I'm so out of shape that my arms are sore just from lifting the binoculars to my eyes
How is everyone?!
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