Not always a good meeting

[dollhouse]

Hello,My name is Shelley and Iam an addict.I have had experinced bad meetings.I have now learned that you can take what you what out of meetings and leave the bad behind.I usaully chair about 2 meetings a week.As being a chair person I relize U can't please everyone.Sometimes u have to put your foot down.I guess what Iam trying to say is I need to be more in tune to other peoples stuff.The thing that bothers me is that in the summer time,people want to stay outside and smoke and chat.They do not seem to want to come back in.They get upset that they can't get their own way.Tonite I was called real bad names cuze I did not choose their topic.I was fustrated with my own stuff and a little off key.Ofcourse I was the only group member that stayed till the end as always.Anyway I was upset and was going to leave.As I was doing so,I said out loud no Iam not going to leave.Iam glad I stayed.As for the other person,they either went in the other room or they choose to leave.I learned tonite that I need to have just sit and listen.When I was thinking of leaving,a friend of mine came in.Have not seen this person for a while,but I listened to the message and talked after the meeting.The concern was really nice.To me part of recovery is at the rooms of the meetings.Not outside in the parking lot or coffee house.Just my opoion......Thanx for listening.

[Phinneas]

I'm sorry, Shelley, that you had that experience. I know that some meetings can be hard. The good news is that you kept your recovery integrity and composure and did the right thing, even though things weren't going the way you wanted them to go. That takes courage and commitment.

One of my favorite prayers for times like that is to (in my head) throw up my hands and say to god, "Whatever." You know? It kind of takes me out of the picture and lets things just happen without me trying to push that darn river uphill.

[cain11]

I've only been to 5 meetings at 2 different locations, and I'm finding a pattern...there are between 30-50 (big meeting) there, but it's always the same 5 people who have been clean for years that jump in and talk the whole time. On one hand, it's hard to ask someone not to talk, but there is never time for the newbies at the meeting. I'm not exagerating, there have been 2 (out of 3 in the same location) where only these 4 or 5 people talked. And they go on and on about the same things like they have all the answers. I guess they think if we just listen to them, we'll get everything out of the meeting we need. I think newbies need to talk, share themselves, in order to become emotionally invested in the group.

Anyone else experience this? How did you deal with it?

[REZ]

Yes, bad things can happen at meetings. But for crying out loud, we're addicts. Its a miracle that any meeting happen at all. Keep that in mind.

Having said this, making sure that the meetings promotes an atmosphere of recovery is the responsible of the home group members and the chair. In our group, we to stop people from taking up too much time, talking outside issues (drugs, money, legal stuff, etc.), cross talking (i.e. talking right to someone else and telling them what to do), profanity/vulgarity, and sharing if they have obviously used drugs today.
As far as hearing the same oldtimers talking again and again, there's not much to do about that, except listen. You might learn something. If you get bore with someone's rap (i.e. they seem to say almost the same thing every time) go to different meetings to hear different stories...

[dollhouse]

Hello there,Yes I have experienced the same thing.Even though Iam not so new any more,{3 years today}.Sometimes at meetings we don't always get to share.But the advice I can give u is go to more meetings and u will be able to share.If u have stuff on your plate,please take someone aside after the meeting and talk.Please keep coming back to the meetings.This is very important to your recovery.If u do not get a chance to share,maybe share on this site.Good luck.Someone will listen,so keep talking.