boyfriend started smoking ice after 3 years

[graci]

hi all, i usually post on nar anon, but I think I need some advice from a different point of view. My bf who used to smoke alot of ice and then quit and didnt touch it again for 3 years, went out of town last week, got offered some and started smoking ice, according to friends I have down there, he has smoked it for 3 days straight right off the bat, he has gone thru a ton of money and now probably doesnt have enought to get back home. I refuse to send him money. His brother who he was staying down there with kicked him out of the house, so he was staying in a hotel, so he could continue to use. His connection down there, someone he had know for less than 2 days, who used to smoke meth told my bf brother that the amount of meth that my bf was doing was scaring him and that my bf kept calling him and wanting more and more. He refused to get him more today and states that he wont get him more again. He has been acting paranoid and agitated, my understanding is that this is how coming down feels. he may or may not decide to drive the 10 hours home tommorrow, I know he has no money left to keep getting high and after tonight will have nowhere to stay. he hasent used all day today, how long is he likely to sleep, and after smoking it for only 3 days, how long is a withdrawal period? I dont understand alot about the drug so anyone who could explain things to me would be greatly appreciated. I just want him home and safe, and then to know where do I go from there. My focus has just been reiterating to him that I love him, and not attacking him. he is feeling paranoid of my intentions, im sure effect of coming down. pleas any advice will help

thanks

[Phinneas]

I'm sorry for your situation, graci. This just shows us again that we are only in recovery one day at a time and that we can fall even after 3 years. I am glad you have the support of the Naranon forum - they are better able to advise you on how to take care of yourself during all of this.

As far as his drug use and withdrawals, I can't answer that. Others may be along who have more experience with that particular drug, but ultimately each person is a little different and there are many factors to consider. So no one can give you a definitive answer, I'm afraid.

Please wrap yourself in your faith and take care of you, ok? Prayers going out to you and your bf now.

[BigSis]

Two things I can address from experience...

1. My kid would sleep for 3 days following a meth run. Generally up for a meal or pee... then back down in a deep sleep. The more she used, the more paranoid she became.

2. What I learned at her rehabS (4 of them) is that addiction and recovery are like railroad tracks... running side by side. You can jump off one (addiction) and get on the other (recovery) BUT... you are still moving "forward", and if you "go back out", as you BF did, you are RIGHT where you would have been in your use if you had been using the entire time.

This is incredible dangerous for addicts because the TOLERANCE that allowed them to use heavily before is gone. OD's do happen during relapse for this reason.

Since he is out of money & dope, today he is probably ok and safe. For that I am sure you are both grateful.

His recovery will be whatever he wants it to be, as will yours. I hope this is just a "slip" and he jumps back into recovery full steam, but if he doesn't, I hope YOU also have a plan for how to live YOUR life in the near future.

((((Graci))))

[liveweyerd]

Out of place but can I ask a question....what is ice?

[Time2Surrender]

Originally Posted by liveweyerd

Out of place but can I ask a question....what is ice?

Methamphetamine

[Chance]

Originally Posted by BigSis

This is incredible dangerous for addicts because the TOLERANCE that allowed them to use heavily before is gone. OD's do happen during relapse for this reason. Since he is out of money & dope, today he is probably ok and safe. For that I am sure you are both grateful.

ICE OMG, that came around sometime during the years of 2002 and 2004. I am not sure when it came around for sure, but did find out in 2004 April 16 to be exact that this drug was around.

I was one month and 3 days away from having two years at the time. I decided that to go back out after that much of abstinence. The situation of that relapse was the same that took me out this year on Valentines day (almost to the tee). Anyway I remember going to my connect after two years and said that I wanted a ball. He went and got it for me, and as I was dumping it into my spoon, HE SAID "Vic, what the hell are you doing?" I said you know me! and he said yeah but you don't know this dope. I had only dumped in not even a half a gram, usually I could handle over a gram blast of crank. Well I put in 30 and got back 70. I put back 20, and I proceeded to do the 50. I remember about 30 into it everything started to get blurry. I don't remember too much after that.

He told me that he said "Vic, Vic are you OK!?!???" He said my reply was, If seeing 3 of you is OK then I am doing wonderful. I guess that I sat there for an hour unable to function, droll coming out of my mouth. The reason that I shared that is from what BigSis said that my tolerance from 2 years before was gone, obviously.

I also agree that since he is out of money and dope that he might be OK today. I guess it all depends on what he is still willing to do, in order to get his dope. All of us have done things to get our next fix, let's just pray that he stays clean for today.

Love Vic

[graci]

well thank you all for your responses, I talked to my bf this morning and he says that he will be headed home today, I am not sure whether or not to believe him, he went to his connections house this morning after checking out of his hotel but stated that he was only gonna smoke pot, and that the leftover ice that he had he was going to sell, because he didnt want to flush it, I dont believe a word he says, but I do know that he has only just enough money for gas for the 10 hour drive home. he said he slept about 10 hours last night, and that should be a good thing im guessing, in that if he was able to sleep, he hadnt been smoking it that day, am I wrong to assume this? I havent heard from him since he left his hotel 2 1/2 hours ago, so I dont know if he smoked any today or not, he refuses to admit he is addicted to it and that the amount he is doing is manageable, which is denial i know, any advice on how to approach him if he ever does get home? So far I have just told him that I loved him and that as long as he can be straight and not bring that stuff into my house he is welcome here. I also know that both his pipes were smashed. Please pray for our situation, my greatest fear is that he will not stop and end up living out of his car in arkansas with no money to get himself home, or he will end up dead or in jail. Im so scared, and at this point I am taking things one hour at a time, because the longer I dont hear from him the more fearful I get. Thanku all

[sqrlklr04]

I hear ya Gracie. I'm new to dealing with an addiction. I have a friend that has been using crack cocaine. I've never been in this situation before and don't know what to do. I have another friend who tells me I need to sever all ties with him, but that is not an option. If someone could give me some suggestions as to what I can do that would be great. He's a great guy when he's not using. He's loud and obnoxious, rough around the edges, and just fun to be with. When he uses, that part of him goes off to God knows where. He says he craves it most when he's drinking...so I know that keeping him away from bars would be a start. I just don't know what to do from there. He's a very religious man. I've started going to church with him. This past Sunday is the first time he's been to church in about a month and a half. So please, any suggestions from anyone would be appreciated. Oh and by the way Gracie, I'm from Romeoville also. Now living in Arizona.