My Husband is a Crack Addict

[VeryAngry]

I have heard so many horror stories about what Crack Addicts- well I guess any kind of addict- but especially Crack Addicts will do to get Crack and I am scared to death to think about the things he's done. I do know he has broken into my dad's place of business atleast twice; I know he's broken into a semi that was parked at the local truck stop and I sure know he's stolen from me so many times I can't count; but the thing I am really worried about is if he's "traded himself" for Crack, and believe me that is something he would never admit to.
I guess I am wondering if the horror stories I hear are true. I know anything is possible but; I'm sorry, I am just worried, I really don't even know what I am trying to say.

[Done_With_It]

Hi sweetie,

Welcome to SR. Don't be sorry for talking here, that's why we're here.

Unfortunately those stories are true, whether or not your husband has gotten to that point, I don't know. But drugs can make people do some pretty disgusting things.

There isn't really much you can do for him, but you CAN take care of yourself.

I would also say visit this forum,

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/nar-anon/

Lots of people over there have been through and still are going through what you talk about.

Glad you are here!!

DWI

[teke]

hi angry, so sorry about your troubles, i too have an ah. i come here and the naranon forum for sujpport and am gainning a lot of feedback and support. in only a few hours of my first post, i feel a little better. situation may be basically the same but hey, its me who needs help too, at least i believe that the quality of my life can get better but i know that it has to be one day at a time,

[Phinneas]

Hi, VeryAngry. The disease is the same, the symptoms are the same, but we as individual people are different. Only god and your AH know where he is at, what he has done or not done and what it will take to get him into recovery. My best advice to you is to focus on yourself and get support from Naranon or Alanon.

I am sorry for your pain, VA. The disease of addiction is very, very ugly.

[cinderellawkids]

I too am very angry. My husband too is a crack addict, I usually post on naranon. Ive been watching him try, tehn give up for 3 years now, he used constantly for 3 years prior to that, and Ive finally accepted that he really may never change. He's stolen from everybody including dealers, he's ran guns and other merchandise for a rock, he's afraid of nothing. More recently he'll go months clean, start a savings by things, only to blow all his money and turn around and sell everything we have. It gets old. I wish I had good advice to offer, all I can say is focus on you and trust your gut instinct. He can get better, but only when he chooses to do so, and he has to do it for him, or it will not last.

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by cinderellawkids

...all I can say is focus on you and trust your gut instinct. He can get better, but only when he chooses to do so, and he has to do it for him, or it will not last.

Well said, cinderellawkids! Thanks.

[erykahrenee123]

ive been there, my boyfriend had a problem with that too i went through hell but its up to him if he will stop or not, but you cant enable him it will just give him another excuse to keep using get with me and we can talk if you want

[Phinneas]

Welcome, erykahrenee123. Check out our Naranon and Family and Friends forums.

Glad you found us!

[jcade]

Tell them not to let the door hit them in the a** on there way out!
Seriously cut them off now before it's to late! Long as they have a roof over their heads and a hot meal sometimes they will stay forever!

[Rho]

(((Very Angry))) Hugs to you, I know it does not help things but I am sending you a warm peacful hug. I have been there and still am I fear. I was just going to post a concern I have about "How many times do I give him a 2nd try"?
I got involved with the ugly crack to please him fit in, not lose him only to lose my own self pride and esteem! After 18 months of using, using so much I almost LOST my great job. I praise God and these recovery rooms for my strength and clean time. I have been livin apart from my AH since 2/21/04 and I have been DRUG free since that date also.
The best thing I can say is go to meetings for yourself! Put yourself 1st and realize how important you are, that your self worth and self pride is worth all the happieness in the world. It can be an ugly world out there and when you get help for yourself it will be the best thing ever. Because the addict in your my life does nothing but offer EMPTY promises, I see him get clean swear he is going to stay that way and be a good father to our son (he is almost 4) and it has been nothing but 1 empty promise after another! It is sad an hard to accept but we can not help those who won't help themselves. So girl take care of your self, put your self, your feeling and your pride first and you'll go far.
Your in my prayers:-)

[teke]

Hi Very Angry, I Am So Sorry That You Are Going Through This. I Would Like To Share With You My Experience Even Though I Don't Think That I Can Say Much Because My Husband Is A Crack Addict Too And I Am Not Doing So Well With That , But I Too Am A Recovering Addict And I Reached My Turning Point When My Family, Friends, And My Addicted Husband Decided That They Would Get Out Of The Way And Let Me Fall. I May Have Sounded Like Your Husband To Others, But When I Was Left To Face The Consequences Of My
Actions, I Soon Realized I Did Not Want To Be Homeless, Hungry,broke,jobless And Almost Childless. I Knew That I Had To Fight To Stay Alive. At The Time, I Thought That The Worst Thing That My Family Could Had Ever Done Was To Turn Their Back On Me When I Needed Them The Most, But Today, I Am So Grateful That They Did, Cause I Am Sure That If They Had Not Cut Me Off, Then, I Would Probably Still Be Out There. One Day At A Time, I Am Still Clean And Sober And I Don't Have Any Plans On Living That Part Of My Life Over. It Was Pure Hell For Me. GETTING SOBER WAS EVEN HARDER BUT LIKE EVERYONE SAYS, I HAD TO REALLY WANT TO GET BETTER, IT CAME TO THE PLACE WHERE, I DID NOT SEE HOW IT COULD BE DONE BUT I HAD TOO BELIEVE THAT OTHERS DID SEE AND I WAS SO DESPERATE, THAT I WAS WILLING TO TRY WHATEVER ANYBODY IN THESE ROOMS SUGGESTED AND IT DOES WORK IF THE ADDICT REALLYT WANTS IT AND DOES THE WORK. Thank You For Letting Me Share That With You, In Doing So, I Can Hear Me, Tell Me Too.

[sissie]

Don't be to hard on him!! But... do pray for him. Crack makes you do crazy things, I do agree. I have been a crackhead myself. Kept it from my husband {as of 5-14-2006} for two years and once I came clean with him I have been off of it for 31 days as of today and "THANK GOD" we pray togerher every day . It has help me in my hard times. He does not trust me yet, But I do not trust me yet either!!! My prayers are with you.

[Peter]

Originally Posted by VeryAngry

I have heard so many horror stories about what Crack Addicts- well I guess any kind of addict- but especially Crack Addicts will do to get Crack and I am scared to death to think about the things he's done.

Yes, unfortunately there is no limit to what addicts will do to obtain more drugs but please do not torture yourself anymore than you have suffered already with trying to second guess every conceivable sin your husband has perpetrated.

Breaking into business places and into motor vehicles is horrific enough as it is but if your man does not get help for himself real soon things are bound to get much, much worse.

Get some help for yourself. Naranon is a good supportive programme. You will need the help of others to help you get through this.

[Rho]

Prayers and best wishes to you sissie. Be strong and if your husband is willing to be there for you and help you stay strong then the best wishes to you all.

I have been there for my AH also and after 2yrs 3 months of my clean time and having my life on the good track in life and he has nothing but 1 excuse after another to not do what he is supose to plenty of relapses and so forth I feel like I have to let go and give up because I can only do so much for hem. Like I have learned in meetings "We can not help those who will not help themselves"

[cinderellawkids]

This thread started a few days ago, and today feeling particularly down, i reread it, including what I wrote. I found it inspiring and profound. Thank you to all those recovering addicts that posted to very angry and previously myself. SOmetimes it helps us all to get better prospective when we see both sides of it.
Now Im going to take my own advice and focus on me.

[an_fn_conqueror]

Here's my theory. There are some sorry people out there who are addicted to crack addicts. Such people are to be termed "crack addict addicts." Seriously, if any of my ex's were having to deal with a drug addict, my response would be simple: dump the dope.

If you have any respect or care for this person's dignity you'd leave the addict and force him to take a hard look at himself. By sticking around despite his negative and self-destructive behavior, you're only encouraging it.

And no, I'm not trolling, it's honest advice; take it for what it's worth.

[Peter]

Originally Posted by an_fn_conqueror

Here's my theory. There are some sorry people out there who are addicted to crack addicts. Such people are to be termed "crack addict addicts." Seriously, if any of my ex's were having to deal with a drug addict, my response would be simple: dump the dope.

Welcome to the forums conqueror. I believe a term sometimes used to describe these so called "crack addict addicts" is "Codependents".

If you honestly believe what you say and honestly want to help then you should know that "crack addict addicts" (codependents) can no more just "dump the dope" than a crack addict can just "not smoke crack"

[rosie45014]

hello

i am in recovery 8 and a half months today to be exact never really thought i would get this far accually....its normal to be scared it is a scary thing people on crack turn into someone totally different almost like the devil. i have done some crazy crazy stuff for dope...never did i trick/ sleep with men for the dope...YET... always put yet on the end of every sentance cause the rate i was going i could have gotten to that point..i was doing things i never thought and my family would never think of me doing like false deposits, robbing my family, lots of other things im ashamed of...i feel for you i know what you may be goin through cause i remember what my mom and family went through when i was putting them through that mess....believe in god and pray for him..my family even my judge thought there was no hope for me but with alot of prayer and na and aa meetings and a sponsor and god in my life i am doing it....i will pray for your husband and you..may god bless you and keep you safe...missy