To Whom It May Concern: - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Beachbabe · 05-08-2006, 06:23 AM

Hey Ya'll

I just wanted to let you know that I am doing very well. I am now living a life of a normal person.

I am around 120 days clean from a pretty sick 10 yr hydro addiction which consisted of anywhere from 5 to 15 a day, depending on what I had ahead of me that day.

If you feel broken hearted, yet you cant put your finger on it... PLEASE listen to me and listen well.

I was close to a 1/3 of a year clean and things were NOT getting better... this too shall pass WASNT passing. If you are going through this PLEASE seek a Dr. It is so unfair and will eventually do you in one way or another.

A few of my friends here told me, "You may have other problems which lead you to addiction to begin with". Go to the Dr, tell the truth about everything and see what they believe is wrong. So, I did. They assured me that what I was feeling was not only bad for me but not normal.

I was suffering more than I can put into words. Manic days that run like a waterfall for 2-3 days. Only sleeping in 2 hr intravels AT MOST. I was a shell. Dead inside. And was ready to accept that feeling over being an addict. So, my resolve was tested, if nothing else.

I am now in my 4th week of Zoloft 100 mils a day. I sleep like a normal person. I dont wake already in a panic... Im just normal. A normal girl in a crazy world.

I know many of you tried to get me to the Dr and I love all of you for that but Anna and 2Stop... you practically drove me there and you didnt even know it.

Im not pushing drugs. I am a very sick girl (post-tramatic stress syndrome, acute axiety disorder and bi-polar, agoraphobic) that wants to share my experience with anti-depressants in the hopes some other lil lady or dude reads this and reaches out for help. Living like that was so horrid and cruel.

If you have a broken heart, yet cant put your finger on as to why... you need to see a Dr. Your selling yourself short. If I can go to Target alone there is no doubt in my mind the crap works.

Do yourself that favor. Yeah... I take a pill everyday and not only am I NOT ashamed of it, Im actually proud of it because for once in my life I am NORMAL.

No different than a diabetic needing insuling and I be damned if I'll feel guilty about something that has not improved my life but literally CHANGED it in everyway.

I love yall and just wanted to drop a post in case anyone remembered me. Most importantly... maybe someone will read this and be good to themselves. Being normal is an awesome f*&^ing thing! AMEN!

Justme57 · 05-08-2006, 06:27 AM

((((((((((( BB))))))))

I am so happy for you beach babe! and so glad that you have found some peace and happiness!

Thank you for sharing that very important aspect of your recovery !

HUGX
Lee

windysan · 05-08-2006, 06:48 AM

Welcome back to the living. That's one inspiring story.

The_Hammer · 05-08-2006, 07:48 AM

Your story is like my own in some ways. We are all "broke" in some fashion or the other and definitely damged goods in many others. We need work! Thanks for sharing and stick around, you have tons to offer us.

Beachbabe · 05-08-2006, 01:39 PM

Too bad 'good news' posts get little attention. Whereas, catty or dramatic posts get tons of attention. SR is great but far from perfect, I am learning.

Smyle · 05-08-2006, 10:34 PM

I think that comment is catty..actually

The "dramatic" posts as you call them should get more feedback. They are the desperate and hurting...

We all like to read good news.....They get attention too. The posts are for helping in ones recovery, not to compete for attention.

Beachbabe · 05-09-2006, 04:44 AM

Thanks for proving my point.

eddie z. · 05-09-2006, 05:50 AM

Hey, you two play nice! I have to go to work now, but I'll write more later. In the meantime, be good, OK?

Love and hugs,
Eddie

Beachbabe · 05-09-2006, 06:00 AM

Im clean and happy!

I know nothing but nice!

**51anna** · 05-09-2006, 06:16 AM

Beachbabe, I am just so happy that you're doing well and I think it's great that you posted your feelings at this point. We are all happy when we hear that someone is doing well!

Beachbabe · 05-09-2006, 06:28 AM

The_Hammer · 05-09-2006, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachbabe

Too bad 'good news' posts get little attention. Whereas, catty or dramatic posts get tons of attention. SR is great but far from perfect, I am learning.

I think you're right beachbabe. I have found that most newcomers post on nearly all of the boards I have visited are rarely responded to. AA and NA newcomers seem to garner about the same attention. The program has become very clannish and clique oriented. *sigh* Oh well, I am not here for anyone but me, I take what I can use and leave the rest. Seems you have got that down too! Way to go on your journey-you go girl!

Beachbabe · 05-09-2006, 08:16 AM

Thank you for your post hammer. You too have courage!

To all of you, thanks for caring. Being loved and loving yourself is the best part of recovery! If not the essential catalyst needed to beat the odds, for some.

The_Hammer · 05-09-2006, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachbabe

Thank you for your post hammer. You too have courage!

To all of you, thanks for caring. Being loved and loving yourself is the best part of recovery! If not the essential catalyst needed to beat the odds, for some.

I will be "on a boat in the gulf" come Saturday the 13th. I can't wait. I fish ith my uncle about every year at this time. He and I rent a place down in Cudjoe Key, FL and fish for Mahi, snapper, etc. Very relaxing, and there is nothing in the world like being in the tropics when you're from Nebraska.

Beachbabe · 05-09-2006, 01:24 PM

I am very greatful to live in a place like Clearwater Florida. Getting here on the otherhand, wasnt all that easy.

Florida is expensive!!

Been here close to 10 yrs now and wild horses couldnt drag me away.

c'est la vie · 05-09-2006, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Too bad 'good news' posts get little attention

With 90some reads I would hardly call your post un-noticed. I hope you believe that somewhere there is a struggling addict that read your post and is praying for the same strength that got you to where you are. You have so much to offer here.
I don't deny that I also wish for many responses when I post some pathetic plea for help. I agree that the other folks are screaming for help in their own odd way.

Keep doing what you're doing because it seems to be working. And keep posting whether they're responded to or not. (Sometimes I don't even know what to say so I don't post, but I don't mean that in a mean way)

Beachbabe · 05-09-2006, 02:56 PM

Thanks winelover, however, I posted this thread 6 am yesterday. Other than the sweeties that always give hugs when people are doing well (thanks yall), noone replied until Smyle's negative post TODAY at around 3.

Then others shut her down and the thread started out nice again.

When I was posting... noone else was... dates are above your avatar as to when the post was written. Thanks, hope youre doing well.

But as you can see, many agree that we need to support the ones doing well also. Otherwise, whats the catalyst to keep us coming back? Its a give and take.

I brought light to this for that very reason. Had little to do with me at all. I see good new posts ignored daily. No drama on this thread? Welp, off to another... thats the point I made.

Smyle · 05-09-2006, 06:41 PM

I do apologize if you thought my post was negative.....it was not intended to be .. I was just slightly offended that your post was so negative. I know a lot of people are always there to encourage you. I am not sure what point I helped to prove but like you said you are still learning. There are no cliques or clans, just some damaged individuals that are reaching out and looking for answers.
Peace ~ Beezy

Beachbabe · 05-09-2006, 07:03 PM

Me... Negative? Youre cute.

Do us a favor... dont click this link hun. As of yet, you have had nothing nice to say so be a big girl and dont say anything at all.

Work for you? Because ignore is an option as well.

But Im sure you'll be handled before I have to go that far. Because perhaps when you reach a certain level of sobriety we could end up best of friends and its sad to think we could miss out on that and learning through eachother.

That being said, I dont want to ignore you but Im not getting any real feedback that could possibly help me or anyone else.

Your just not a nice person right now. Sorry, but I call it like I see it.

Your post, furthermore, was not to apologize... it was a side-ways slap. We arent stupid. And I wont play into you.

Bully someone else, pick and choose your battles wisely and always pass up the opportunity to rain on someones parade to give a heart felt smile instead.

You'll feel better about yourself and not act out like this.

**Phinneas** · 05-09-2006, 08:15 PM

Whoa - Time out, folks.

BeachBabe - this is a recovery site where people reach out to help other people by sharing their own experience, strength and hope. I am sorry if you read negatively into previous posts - or lack of posts as the case may be - but that is no reason to flame as I, personally, interpret your last post. Please use the ignore button rather than lash out here.

The NA forum does not get as much traffic as some of the other forums, which is why this post may not have as many replys.

The program of NA is neither cliquey or clannish... the program is a set of principles wirtten so simply that we can (if we choose to) follow them in our daily lives. The fellowship, on the other hand,is a group of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem... sick mofos if you will

... If someone is looking for help staying clean, these sick (but clean) mofos can help...

In the meantime, we are all sick people trying to get well TOGETHER in recovery.

I don't recall you being a member of NA, BB. Do you have a sponsor? Perhaps a helpful discussion would be how important is it to be kind vs. be right? I know that is an issue I came into the program with. Just some food for thought.

Carry on.

**Peter** · 05-09-2006, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachbabe

Too bad 'good news' posts get little attention.

These are a few well attended "good news" threads, taken from just one message board. There are many more, you just have to look for them...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...one-68398.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ive-61786.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-me-86861.html

**Done_With_It** · 05-09-2006, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachbabe

Too bad 'good news' posts get little attention. Whereas, catty or dramatic posts get tons of attention. SR is great but far from perfect, I am learning.

I find that insulting.

No place is perfect, but SR is one hell of a place and one that I am proud to be a part of.

If I get one response then I am happy, if I get none; I hope someone got something from it.

I've gotten nothing but support on my Eve thread, and it's full of positive good stuff, it's like one big cartoon sometimes.

It's all how you look at it.

Quote:

I think you're right beachbabe. I have found that most newcomers post on nearly all of the boards I have visited are rarely responded to. AA and NA newcomers seem to garner about the same attention. The program has become very clannish and clique oriented. *sigh*

It's a RARITY that our newcomers are not responded too here. We work hard here as a team to ensure that doesn't happen. Yesterday's newcomers are tomorrow's SR family. That is how we see the newcomer.
We reach out, it's up to you to reach back.

This place is EXACTLY what you make of it.
Nothing more, Nothing less.

TheGirlInside · 05-09-2006, 10:01 PM

Beach Babe,

Please relax, step back, think, and study:

Resentment

Humility

Serenity Prayer

Faith

Grandiose Thinking

Sponsor

Meeting

That's all I got to say.

05-08-2006, 06:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312	To Whom It May Concern: Hey Ya'll I just wanted to let you know that I am doing very well. I am now living a life of a normal person. I am around 120 days clean from a pretty sick 10 yr hydro addiction which consisted of anywhere from 5 to 15 a day, depending on what I had ahead of me that day. If you feel broken hearted, yet you cant put your finger on it... PLEASE listen to me and listen well. I was close to a 1/3 of a year clean and things were NOT getting better... this too shall pass WASNT passing. If you are going through this PLEASE seek a Dr. It is so unfair and will eventually do you in one way or another. A few of my friends here told me, "You may have other problems which lead you to addiction to begin with". Go to the Dr, tell the truth about everything and see what they believe is wrong. So, I did. They assured me that what I was feeling was not only bad for me but not normal. I was suffering more than I can put into words. Manic days that run like a waterfall for 2-3 days. Only sleeping in 2 hr intravels AT MOST. I was a shell. Dead inside. And was ready to accept that feeling over being an addict. So, my resolve was tested, if nothing else. I am now in my 4th week of Zoloft 100 mils a day. I sleep like a normal person. I dont wake already in a panic... Im just normal. A normal girl in a crazy world. I know many of you tried to get me to the Dr and I love all of you for that but Anna and 2Stop... you practically drove me there and you didnt even know it. Im not pushing drugs. I am a very sick girl (post-tramatic stress syndrome, acute axiety disorder and bi-polar, agoraphobic) that wants to share my experience with anti-depressants in the hopes some other lil lady or dude reads this and reaches out for help. Living like that was so horrid and cruel. If you have a broken heart, yet cant put your finger on as to why... you need to see a Dr. Your selling yourself short. If I can go to Target alone there is no doubt in my mind the crap works. Do yourself that favor. Yeah... I take a pill everyday and not only am I NOT ashamed of it, Im actually proud of it because for once in my life I am NORMAL. No different than a diabetic needing insuling and I be damned if I'll feel guilty about something that has not improved my life but literally CHANGED it in everyway. I love yall and just wanted to drop a post in case anyone remembered me. Most importantly... maybe someone will read this and be good to themselves. Being normal is an awesome f*&^ing thing! AMEN!

05-08-2006, 06:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	((((((((((( BB)))))))) I am so happy for you beach babe! and so glad that you have found some peace and happiness! Thank you for sharing that very important aspect of your recovery ! HUGX Lee __________________

05-08-2006, 07:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
The_Hammer Beat, but not beaten.... Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 729	Amazing! Your story is like my own in some ways. We are all "broke" in some fashion or the other and definitely damged goods in many others. We need work! Thanks for sharing and stick around, you have tons to offer us.

05-09-2006, 05:50 AM	#8 (permalink)
eddie z. No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 7,610	Hey, you two play nice! I have to go to work now, but I'll write more later. In the meantime, be good, OK? Love and hugs, Eddie __________________

05-09-2006, 06:16 AM	#10 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,498	Beachbabe, I am just so happy that you're doing well and I think it's great that you posted your feelings at this point. We are all happy when we hear that someone is doing well! __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

05-08-2006, 06:48 AM	#3 (permalink)
windysan Big Idiot Man Child Join Date: May 2004 Location: La Posts: 3,739	Welcome back to the living. That's one inspiring story.

05-08-2006, 01:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312	Too bad 'good news' posts get little attention. Whereas, catty or dramatic posts get tons of attention. SR is great but far from perfect, I am learning.

05-08-2006, 10:34 PM	#6 (permalink)
Smyle Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Newfie-Land, Mo Posts: 1,623	I think that comment is catty..actually The "dramatic" posts as you call them should get more feedback. They are the desperate and hurting... We all like to read good news.....They get attention too. The posts are for helping in ones recovery, not to compete for attention.

05-09-2006, 04:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312	Thanks for proving my point.

05-09-2006, 06:00 AM	#9 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312	Im clean and happy! I know nothing but nice!

05-09-2006, 06:28 AM	#11 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312

05-09-2006, 08:16 AM	#13 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312	Thank you for your post hammer. You too have courage! To all of you, thanks for caring. Being loved and loving yourself is the best part of recovery! If not the essential catalyst needed to beat the odds, for some.

05-09-2006, 01:24 PM	#15 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312	I am very greatful to live in a place like Clearwater Florida. Getting here on the otherhand, wasnt all that easy. Florida is expensive!! Been here close to 10 yrs now and wild horses couldnt drag me away.

05-09-2006, 02:56 PM	#17 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312	Thanks winelover, however, I posted this thread 6 am yesterday. Other than the sweeties that always give hugs when people are doing well (thanks yall), noone replied until Smyle's negative post TODAY at around 3. Then others shut her down and the thread started out nice again. When I was posting... noone else was... dates are above your avatar as to when the post was written. Thanks, hope youre doing well. But as you can see, many agree that we need to support the ones doing well also. Otherwise, whats the catalyst to keep us coming back? Its a give and take. I brought light to this for that very reason. Had little to do with me at all. I see good new posts ignored daily. No drama on this thread? Welp, off to another... thats the point I made.

05-09-2006, 06:41 PM	#18 (permalink)
Smyle Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Newfie-Land, Mo Posts: 1,623	I do apologize if you thought my post was negative.....it was not intended to be .. I was just slightly offended that your post was so negative. I know a lot of people are always there to encourage you. I am not sure what point I helped to prove but like you said you are still learning. There are no cliques or clans, just some damaged individuals that are reaching out and looking for answers. Peace ~ Beezy

05-09-2006, 07:03 PM	#19 (permalink)
Beachbabe Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On a Boat in the Gulf Posts: 312	Me... Negative? Youre cute. Do us a favor... dont click this link hun. As of yet, you have had nothing nice to say so be a big girl and dont say anything at all. Work for you? Because ignore is an option as well. But Im sure you'll be handled before I have to go that far. Because perhaps when you reach a certain level of sobriety we could end up best of friends and its sad to think we could miss out on that and learning through eachother. That being said, I dont want to ignore you but Im not getting any real feedback that could possibly help me or anyone else. Your just not a nice person right now. Sorry, but I call it like I see it. Your post, furthermore, was not to apologize... it was a side-ways slap. We arent stupid. And I wont play into you. Bully someone else, pick and choose your battles wisely and always pass up the opportunity to rain on someones parade to give a heart felt smile instead. You'll feel better about yourself and not act out like this.

05-09-2006, 08:15 PM	#20 (permalink)
Phinneas Forum Leader Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy Posts: 2,597	Whoa - Time out, folks. BeachBabe - this is a recovery site where people reach out to help other people by sharing their own experience, strength and hope. I am sorry if you read negatively into previous posts - or lack of posts as the case may be - but that is no reason to flame as I, personally, interpret your last post. Please use the ignore button rather than lash out here. The NA forum does not get as much traffic as some of the other forums, which is why this post may not have as many replys. The program of NA is neither cliquey or clannish... the program is a set of principles wirtten so simply that we can (if we choose to) follow them in our daily lives. The fellowship, on the other hand,is a group of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem... sick mofos if you will ... If someone is looking for help staying clean, these sick (but clean) mofos can help... In the meantime, we are all sick people trying to get well TOGETHER in recovery. I don't recall you being a member of NA, BB. Do you have a sponsor? Perhaps a helpful discussion would be how important is it to be kind vs. be right? I know that is an issue I came into the program with. Just some food for thought. Carry on. __________________ “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~Marianne Williamson

05-09-2006, 10:01 PM	#23 (permalink)
TheGirlInside In Recovery Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Upper Midwest Posts: 235	Beach Babe, Please relax, step back, think, and study: Resentment Humility Serenity Prayer Faith Grandiose Thinking Sponsor Meeting That's all I got to say.