its a whole new game

[jeffrey]

i find that getting back into na is rough.last time i was goin to na was in 92.here i am doin the geographical with 116 days clean.my 1st step almost done(that f@#$ has 69 questions)i want a chick,sponser SUGGESTS one year

[Blake]

Welcome to SR jeffrey.

Congrats on the 116 days.

It is suggested for a very good reason that we don't get into a relationship for a year...we struggle enough with learning how to live life with out dope without throwing another person into the equation. I had a very bad experience back last august-october or so with a relationship at 6 months clean. I posted alot about it here and you can check out the older posts if you feel like it, I think one was called "I understand why you're not supposed to get into a relationship for a year now" or something like that.

In the end, people are going to do what they want to do....if you do get in a relationship, don't use no matter what happens and everything will work out how it's supposed to.

Later,
Blake

[Phinneas]

Ditto on the welcome, jeffrey. Glad you are here!



116 days is AWESOME and it sounds like you are working a thorough program. Keep that up - along with lots of meetings and staying close to your NA buddies, and you will do great.

Suggestions are only suggestions, but in my experience, they are there for a reason. Stick with the winners and what they tell you, ok?

[eddie z.]

Jeffrey,
WELCOME to SR's NA forum!! Congrats on your first post, too!! I agree with the suggestion that we wait a while to get into a relationship. I was actually married when I came to NA this time and I found it extremely helpful to spend several months concentrating just on myself. A relationship can be just a big distraction, especially in early recovery. Think about this, too. Do you really want to get involved with someone who has less than a year clean herself? Relationships are tricky business even when we have some time and getting involved with a newcomer isn't good for either party, I believe, and TWO newcomers getting together is a recipe for disaster. We are told to stick with members of the same gender, to stick with the winners, and, like you said, to avoid new relationships for at least the first year. I agree with Blake. There's a very good reason for these suggestions.

I can't imagine how things would have turned out for me and my husband if we hadn't sort of gone our separate ways there at first. Even today, we don't go to many meetings together. My recovery is MINE and his is his. I think our relationship is better for the the time we spent working on ourselves individually. My sponsor says "two sickies don't make a wellie." Both individuals need a good foundation in recovery before they add another person to the mix. While this is my opinion, I think you've already found that it agrees with what is suggested in the rooms. I'm wishing you all the best in YOUR recovery!!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

[Time2Surrender]

Originally Posted by jeffrey

i want a chick,sponser SUGGESTS one year

You can have mine. I wanna be single. I miss it.
Welcome to SoberRecovery and congrats on 116 days. Keep working the steps and listen to your sponsor.

[eddie z.]

Oops!! I almost forgot. CONGRATULATIONS on 116 days, too, Jeffrey!! That's about a third of the way there.

Love and hugs,
Eddie