does anybody else struggle w/ meth?!?!

[valari]

havent read a lot of threads dealing with meth. i am having a REAL hard time with this. read my other post. somebody please relate to me. i am going straight downhill....

[eddie z.]

Hey, valari!! WELCOME to SR and to our NA forum!! I'm assuming you mean methamphetamine, right? I think lbadeker has some experience there. Here is a link to her thread. Don't let the title throw you off if you've never been on methadone. She has loads of good experience, strength, and hope to share. I also suggest you try going to some NA meetings as soon as you can. I'm sure you will identify, regardless of drug of choice. In the meantime, keep posting and I'll help any way I can, OK?

Love and hugs,
Eddie

[valari]

hey thanks eddie... i'll post more later. just nice to know people care.
valari

[nutz]

Meth was my drug of chioce...it's been a while, but I've been there.

yeah keep posting,
try to get some sleep and rest.
Try to eat
drink lots of water
See a doctor or get a check up

Don't pay to much attention or take things too seriousely
or try to makesense of things at the monet
The mental withdraws are very strong
for meth. You're not going to dy. It's these craving or addiction
cycle that keeps us using again and again
Don't pick up no matter what. Just make one goal..don't use.

It's probably the hardest thing you had to do.
And probably the hardest thing any human being can conquard.
So, every moment, every minute, evreyday that you're
clean , you're a total success. Don't let anybody tell you
different. Don't listen to the negatives from yourself
or others. So give yourself a break.

If possiable, try to make it to an NA meeting.
Close in person surports will help you greatly.
You don't have to this alone.

[eddie z.]

You're welcome, valari!! Hang in there!!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

P.S. Thank you, nutz!!

[Chance]

((((Valari))))

Meth/Ice was and still is my drug of choice. Yes it is very hard to get off of (any drug is) but it can be done I know that. SR can help you, they will do whatever they can I do know that. Just try and take it easy, it takes a while to get back to any kind of normality. I wrote this a while back so I thought that I would share it with you OK>>>

Crystal

I once had a friend who treated me right
She said that she loved me but we would fight

At first we had a very special thing
With laughter, love, and a diamond ring

She made me feel as if I was a man
Then she looked again and she ran

She ran her blood into my vains
She started to take away all my pain

But when after awhile she would leave
I would have too pull up my sleave

To find her once agian in me
But she wouldn't set me free

She took control of the life that we had
The blood thickened and turned bad

Why did you turn on me so much
Youwere with me dinner, breakfast, and lunch

Although you would be my main course
You became my only source

Chrystal don't you still love me a little bit
Why did you have to make me feel like sh*t

Did you come to destrou my life
You took away my children and my wife

You promised that we would never end
You said my life would be only love send

But yet you turned you back on me
You brought heartache and cut down my tree

You said that I was your only one
But yet your trickery took my son

You said taht no matter what whould be
That you would always be good to me

Now you have me with heart and soul
You keep me on the miserable roll

Why can't you just go your way
And leave this world not tomorrow but today

Why did you turn so very bad
At first you made me so very glad

Can't you see how you have lied to him
You have kept them living in sin

You have taken a lot of things
So now I must take back that diamond ring

I have the power throught my LORD today
To put you to rest and make you lay

But yet I hear your voice inside
Saying Babe Babe just one more ride

But yet one is too many and a thousand in never enough
You always did like playing ruff

So now I have a choice to make
I will throw the ring into the lake

The lake of death is in your life
No longer will I have you as wife

So thanks for the adventure down this lane
I hope to God that you never raine

For now you know how very real it feels
That love like that will actually kill

So now you have lost you power over me
For today my Lord has set me free


Written by: Victor W

[eddie z.]

That's awesome, Vic!! Thank you for sharing it with us!!

How you doin' today, valari?

Love and hugs,
Eddie

[valari]

hey, i'm glad you are with me. sometimes this makes me feel so alone. i try so hard to quit but it is all i think about. today is day 2 or maybe 3. scrapped the rest of my baggies a few days ago. didn't get high. only made me feel worse. disconnected. i almost feel drunk. my arms are heavy my mind is blurry.

let me share a journal entry dated 27 april 2000... maybe i am digging way too deep...perhaps the puzzle is in itself the answer i am looking for...i try to live day by day and appreciate life for what it is but i cant...nope. drugs dont help...i've come to realize that the reason why i am so f'd up is called addicton. try to cover it up...

so shortly after i wrote this, i quit. for a couple of years. got healthy. then the monster reappeared. this time is hard as hell. way more painful for some reason. again...i am glad you are with me. my very best friend is also going through the same addiction. she will be joining us soon.
see ya.
valari

[eddie z.]

(((((Valari)))))
Thank you for posting and sharing that!! Give yourself a break and get some rest, too, OK? I totally identify with what you said about the baggies and not getting high. I used to save my cotton wads and re-use them when I ran out. Didn't get high too much, but got some nasty infections. I have to remember that when I think about using again. Remember how you feel today and how you felt the last time you used. It'll help you stay clean.

Love and hugs,
Eddie

[dolphin_girl200]

Hello and welcome to SoberRecovery, this is an awesome place to meet some awesome people that are very willing to help. I was into meth really bad and if it wasn't for the judge sentencing me to inpatient treatment I don't think I could of ever got clean and now I have 11 months, so if you need to ever talk about anything feel free to e-mail me dolphin_girl_313_2005@yahoo.com. Wish you the best of luck!!

[Done-With-It]

Hey,

I am recovering from meth. I am going on 17 weeks. You CAN do this!!!
Just hang in there. The beginning is VERY tough! Just keep doing whatever you have to , to not do it again. Each day gets a little easier!!

How are you doing right now?

[Alera]

So now I have a choice to make
I will throw the ring into the lake

What a beautiful poem and wonderful visual you gave me Vic. I am going to use that in my mind when my addict voice starts talking. I will take off that addict ring and throw it into my mental lake.

[emmanuel2012]

i copied and pasted a post i made last year (below) overcoming a meth addiction. (search for the thread "meth ignorant".. a number of people responded and asked me i sold the vitamins and stuff, and no i don't, but i have some hardcore experience with meth, including knowing how to manufacture it, which i wish i could forget. but, knowledge is power. there are a lot of myths about meth to those who simply have never used it. i know what you are going through, physically, and perhaps some mentally. i suggest a good rehab program- and there is treatment for meth addiction called ibogaine therapy- but its usually not covered by insurance. if you want to stop, just try to subsitutue just one time buying a baggie with buying some L-Tyrosine and B vitamins. your body needs replenished of dopamine, and below are the precursors. i should also add that exercise also is an activity that will build more dopamine.

Originally Posted by me last year

crystal meth overcame me late last year. the drug is very powerful. however, twelve step programs have little experience helping meth addicts, who do not care for the listening or the use of the word "god". why is meth different? because it brings temporary energy and clarity to its users. while under the influence, they are more acute, alert and responsive. while off the drug, they are quick to anger and frustration because their hyperclarity has vanished, and sobriety has become a reality that is too slow to endure. its simply too boring. how do you make them stop? well, it usually takes a loved one to explain to them that they are destroying their brains and their life potential and throwing away all of their dreams by clinging to a toxic substance that will eventually give them so much pain and possibly parkinsons disease. also, detoxing from crystal meth takes a lot of good vitamins and supplements, so simply a psychological rehab wont cut it... i did it successfully without any meetings or expensive rehabs... put your money into supplements, because they get expensive. but you need to repair the neurotransmitters! you will need: Vitamin B complex - The vitamin B-complex refers to all of the known essential water-soluble vitamins except for vitamin C. These include thiamine (vitamin B1), riboflavin (vitamin B2), niacin (vitamin B3), pantothenic acid (vitamin B5), pyridoxine (vitamin B6), biotin, folic acid and the cobalamins (vitamin B12) -75 mgs.
VItamin C - helps reduce the accumulation and retention of some toxic chemicals such as lead with a history of withdraw support use - 1200 IU.
Vitamin E - reduces the risk of heart attacks with a history of withdraw support use - 600 IU.
Magnesium - an essential mineral that meth depletes - 250 mgs
CoQ10 - an antioxidant enzyme involved with the production of cellular energy - 90 mgs.
Milk Thistle - works to promote healthy liver function - 150 mgs.
5HTP - works to recover depleted serotonin - 60 mgs.
L-Lysine - promotes calcium absorption and bone, tissue and cartilage formation - 1500 mgs.
L-Tyrosine - an amino acid that helps with energy - 500 mgs.
L-Dopa (extract) - works as a precursor to dopamine - 500 mgs
L-Deprenyl - works at depression and dopamine agonist - 10 mgs.

you are addicted not to the meth but a neurotransmission receptor being overactive. you like feeling bright and shiney. you like feeling smart and creative, and when you come down from the drugs effect, you don't feel this way anymore. things get immediately worse when you wake up, after being up for 4 days. your body aches to feel right..

Nothing gets done without committment! Are you committed to destroying your body, brain and/or teeth? i hope not..

check yourself into a rehab, or go to an NA meeting, or both! what do you have to lose besides the insanity you *know* is because of your meth use..
it doesn't get better, it gets worse..

[emmanuel2012]

oh yeah, it gets worse. but then after you stop it kind of just stays bad for awhile, it it may be the hardest time of your life. here is a reading that holds true for this kind of thing:

"Remember All Ye, that existence is pure joy! And all the sorrows are but shadows; they pass, and are Done. But there is that which remains.."

who would of thought that is from a drug addict too? yes, that is Allister Crowley's pertinent reminder-- (note: i do not endorse reading most of this man's work at all). unfortunately for Crowley, he died perplexed from the use of drugs, and was banished from the Golden Dawn because of his behavoir.

[Done-With-It]

Originally Posted by emmanuel2012

i copied and pasted a post i made last year (below) overcoming a meth addiction. (search for the thread "meth ignorant".. a number of people responded and asked me i sold the vitamins and stuff, and no i don't, but i have some hardcore experience with meth, including knowing how to manufacture it, which i wish i could forget. but, knowledge is power. there are a lot of myths about meth to those who simply have never used it. i know what you are going through, physically, and perhaps some mentally. i suggest a good rehab program- and there is treatment for meth addiction called ibogaine therapy- but its usually not covered by insurance. if you want to stop, just try to subsitutue just one time buying a baggie with buying some L-Tyrosine and B vitamins. your body needs replenished of dopamine, and below are the precursors. i should also add that exercise also is an activity that will build more dopamine.



you are addicted not to the meth but a neurotransmission receptor being overactive. you like feeling bright and shiney. you like feeling smart and creative, and when you come down from the drugs effect, you don't feel this way anymore. things get immediately worse when you wake up, after being up for 4 days. your body aches to feel right..

Nothing gets done without committment! Are you committed to destroying your body, brain and/or teeth? i hope not..

check yourself into a rehab, or go to an NA meeting, or both! what do you have to lose besides the insanity you *know* is because of your meth use..
it doesn't get better, it gets worse..

AMAZING STUFF!!! Your so right, I couldn't agree more with what you said. I'm also going to copy that vitamin stuff down, and start it. When I first got off of it, I was doing a strict vitamin program, and I did feel pretty good, but then I stopped doing it and I can tell a difference.

I've read so much stuff about meth, it is such a nasty drug. Ughhh
Thanks for the info. (once again) ;-)

Valeri, How are you doing?

[Chance]

Hey Valari how are you doing today? I haven't seen that you posted today so I was just checking on you. Hope that your doing OK....Hope to see you by the end of the day today.

Love Vic

[valari]

hey. i am not doing good at all. the anxiety is worse today than ever. however, i haven't used. i am so angry. mood swings. afraid to look at myself in the mirror. you guys are a huge key to my existance right now. thank you. i am still crying. there was a documentary in a&e last night about meth. destructve. when will i start to feel better? i will try to post later... i am glad you are still with me.
valari

[Done-With-It]

Oh gosh girl, I'm right there with you! I went through all of that. I really thought my life was over and I'd never get over all that stuff.

You WILL, I PROMISE, Just hold on........ Keep going.....

Meth is so horrible, I've found out the hard way it's called the 'Devils drug'
for a reason......

Don't give up. Whatever you do........ Just keep fighting this right now, and it will get a bit easier each day.

DWI

[Time2Surrender]

Welcome to SoberRecovery. Hang in there.

[LILYBIRD]

Hi Valeri
Hang In There, It Does Get Better
The First Minutes, Hours, Days Can Be Excruiating, But It Does Ease Up As Time Goes By
Whatever You Do, Dont Use
Sleep, Drink Plenty Of Fluids, Eat If You Can, Go To A Meeting
The "dope-sickness" Does Go Away.
I Have Been Clean For 9 Months Now. The Sickness And Hurt Is Gone, But It Did Take Awhile.
Occasionally I Feel The Urge
But Just An Urge
You Can Do It,
Rely On Others
And The Strength You Still Have Inside
Its There
Tap Into It
Best Of Luck To You

[valari]

its more than a computer screen i see here. you all, even though it is so painful now, mean a lot to me. i feel your sincerity. you do care and i just want to thank all.
soon...
valari