A question for you all recovering addicts

[goffredo]

this is a question to all the recovering addicts from an addict's parter:

Has anyone of you managed to recover and keep seeing the user friends, dealers?

I know the answer, but my addict partner, who's at the moment relapsing and in total denial says she can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jo

[tink360]

the thing is that your partner has pretty much answered your question. the question you should be asking is how to handle the situation.

[Sugah]

Only when I see them in a meeting.....

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Gooch]

I still have a couple friends that I used toi use with.

One's my sponsor. I took him to his first meeting and he was still straight when I got back.

One was my best man when I got married 19 years ago before I got clean. I hope to be his best man when he gets married next year. Thing is though he grewout of getting loaded all by himself pretty much.

Another of my buds is back in the joint. Crawled around with him on the floor when we were both in diapers. If he's not getting loaded I don't mind hanging with him, if he is .. well nothing I can do but wait til he jumps back on the band wagon.

Have you checked out the narann board?

it's pretty much his program ( or lack of one) and up to him how he's gonna do..

Meanwhile you can look into a new way of life for yourself.

my personal thoughts on the matter are that if you feel the need to post in this forum to garner amunition for your arguement, then all good intentions aside, you have already lost.... think about it.

[Cathy31]

Wow, Dave that's not very nice, not a very nice tone. If Jo is looking for advice, can we not give it in the spirit it was intended?

Jo, I also think Nar-Anon is a good idea for you, the UK has so many groups which meet. It's so hard being in love with an addict, I hope you can find your way through this and do what's best for you.

I love the way the assumption is that you are a boy!

Love
Cathy31
x

[Gooch]

Originally Posted by Cathy31

I love the way the assumption is that you are a boy!

Love
Cathy31
x

It's hard to read after 4 14 hr days of construction when you've been sick.

my apologies for misreading your post jo.

[godsonmyside]

Wow, Dave that's not very nice, not a very nice tone. If Jo is looking for advice, can we not give it in the spirit it was intended?

I think Dave gave an real good reply and although it wasn't probably wanted, it was to the point.

my personal thoughts on the matter are that if you feel the need to post in this forum to garner amunition for your arguement, then all good intentions aside, you have already lost.... think about it.

The pathway to H E L L was paved by Good Intentions!!!!

Sometimes we need to be as blunt and to the point, it doesn't mean that empathy isn't involved. Sometimes I say thinks that you might hate me now but Love me later, seems seems harsh, but you won't die from it. Most of the time we don't find the answers we are looking for because they are right in front of our face.

Peace,
Todd J.

[Cathy31]

Gooch, I don't know if Jo is a girl or not, he/she might be! Didn't mean it to sound catty!

Catty31
x

[Gooch]

Originally Posted by Cathy31

Catty31
x

[In memory of miracle]

((( Gooch ))) You da bomb!

Jo- My answer to your question- no!
Bless, Trish

[Realthing]

I see one of the guys I used to drink and get high with. He still gets high and drunk and I don't. He was, and is a friend and we have things in common besides drugs and alcohol. I did stay away from him for the first six months or so of getting my life back. Most of the people I considered friends really weren't. We just shared the same misery of addiction. I'm straight and sober now and so I don't have anything in common with them. I can be around people who are drinking or are high but I don't care for their company. Have you noticed how self centered a conversation among drunks can be? It's often just blurted out anecdotes about themselves and nobody really converses or listens to what other people say. I like people and I want to share a conversation and not just talk about myself and then wait while they talk about themselves. I also don't like it when people try to get me to drink with them and that happens at some parties. I'm not tempted at all, I just feel kind of annoyed and disrespected.

I also must say that I agree with Dave and I wish you luck in dealing with your partner's denial. I hope that your partner doesn't harm your efforts.

[Jared112987]

My friend and I were allways really close. We all used together and most were involved with dealing. We all mostly kept buissness separate, other than me being the main source to all of them, and for the most part had different customers. When I got clean almost 7 months and 3 weeks ago and walked away from the game and lifestyle, I stoped hanging out with alot of my friends. We still talked but I wouldn't go to parties ot be around them while they used. I still see my friends alot but don't go out with them much. One of my best friends who is 2 years older than me and who was always the big bro I never had used together, and partied together everyday got clean a month before I did. He always looked out for me and we've always had alot in common. We still talk alot and hang out when he's home from college and he keeps an eye on me by checking up with his girlfriend who's in my grade and my classes, and talking to some of my friends. As for my other friends, I stoped talking to a few but for the most part stayed friends with alot of them. I still see them and hang out with them but not when they use or drugs as present. I don't like alot of what I see and hear going on, but nothing I say can change anything and they need to learn themselves. Some of them are really heading for trouble but I guess that's what it's going to take to straighten them out. It is possible to still see friends that you used with. I dont necesarily think it's the best idea but in my case most of my friends realize that I needed to make the decision I did. A few of them are counting down the days until my probation ends which is a week from this coming tues...This is wishful thinking on their part because I don't plan on reliving my past. It's sad because we were all so close and had so many good times but I know I can't go back. Another one of my best friends is a friend who I introduced to the world of drugs. Were really close friends and have been throug alot together and seen alot together. He's still using, and doing whatever he does. We still talk and hangout and he doesn't bring drugs around me. I get scared for him because I see him heading down the wrong path and just doing even more and more to make me think something bad will happen to him. I mean this is a kid who when first started doing drugs didnt even like to get that high or smoke too many times a day and liked the money more. Now he's trying different sh*t I wouldn't have even f*cked around with, and that's saying something. It's sad to see my friends heading down this road but they don't bring stuff around me or pressure me. I still hang out with some of them, not nearly as much as before seeings how I was with them 24/7 before, and when we do hang out theres no drugs around, but I still need to be very carefull not to let my gaurd down and be somewhere where there are drugs or be somewhere where people are using drugs.