Feeling very powerless and unmanagable.

[namommy]

OK, sorry for yet another thread, but I just got a phone call.

One of the things that is going on in my life, is helping a sponsee prepare to leave a VERY abusive husband. She has been secretly saving money, getting together important documents, and she found and apartment. I was planning on helping her move, and the day of the move, take her first thing to get a Protection from Abuse order.

Well, she just called, the move is tomorrow. I am not going to be anywhere near home tomorrow. I am fishing in a tournament tomorrow and I will be over 100 miles from home. How can I help her? I feel like I need to be there to protect her. I know my other sponsees and other addicts will be there for her, but trusting that someone else will protect her the way I know I will is hard for me to do.

She also informed me that somehow he found out last night about this, and she really could have used the PFA last night and this morning. I feel like killing this man myself. I don't know how she has managed to go this long (25 years) with this type of abuse. I just want to scream.

Please keep her in your prayers. (she has triplets to take care of too).

[godsonmyside]

(.)

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Please keep her in your prayers. (she has triplets to take care of too).




Ahhh you understand I made a post Thursday u'd like. 2 guys get lost at sea. They land on an island. marooned. They split up and decide to pray for God to help them. One guy gets everything he's praying for. The other guy is w/o a thing. Finally a boat comes and the guy that had been getting everything is leaving the other guy behind. He yells back to the guy on the island, see!! my prayers were answered.

The other guy told him, I've been praying for you and not for me.

You pray for your friend!! Praying for others is the best thing we can do.

[Gooch]

while your turning your will and life over today, remind yourself that God's gotten you through so many things, He has carried tour sponsee through as well for .. 25 years.

Probably the most difficult thing for me to do sometimes is to do what I neeed to to take care of myself and let other people learn to take care of themselves.

What is a sponsor?

THe powerful example that has been set is that a sponsor is a shoulder to cry on, a ride to meetings, someone who will pay for our coffee, etc. etc.

It's no wonder the newcomers don't want to see step work as a priority. Not that the relationship that can develop shouldn't have those acts of generosity or love, nor that we shouldn't or can't become good friends with a sponsor or sponsee, but i think that the example thats set may be a long way from "a guide through the 12 steps of NA".

I have a great sponsor.. sometimes I learn so much through his trials and errors, and the difficulty he has seperating his humanity from his disease. Then in another instant i can see him absolutely, unwaveringly apply spiritual principles. We learn a lot together, and he takes advantage of my mechanical ability sometimes, so every once in a while we get to practice the practical applications of spiritually "dealing with dissatisfaction in services" or "getting a deadbeat to pay up" .

Your sponsee is in the best care in the world and so are you. So when you are out sitting in the middle of the Potomac in the rain, remember you could have just as easily been being a good little control freak, and cheating someone else out of the opportunity to discover their strengths and weaknesses. I say this tongue in cheek, but the Boss has lots of batters warming up in the bullpen, somebody else may need to step up to the plate while "mommy" goes fishing.

(Love ya kiddo .. we expect pictures of the trophy catch)

[Blake]

I'll pray for her.

I hate peices of **** that feel like they need to hit on their wives to make them men. I really wish I was there. I'm 6'7" and 280lbs. I'd tell that fuckhead that if he wants to beat someone up that he's more than welcome to try me. I'm guessing this guy is a short man with "little man's disease" or he has a tiny dick. I HATE MEN THAT HIT WOMEN SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! Call some guys in your area to make sure she is safe when she is moving. I've noticed that men that are abusive to women turn into little pussies if they have to go through another man first. People like that dude make me sick.

I'm sorry about all the anger in this post, but domestic violence really pisses me off.

She is doing the right thing and god will take care of her.

much love,
-Blake

[Paulie]

Mommy -

Gooch said it so well, as usual. What makes you think you could do more for her than anyone else there to help her? What we need is support, and it sounds like she will have alot of it there with her.

You have been going through alot lately...you do what you need to do to take care of YOU, just as she is doing by leaving the a$$.

We love you and want to see your head on at least half straight. , you enjoy fishing....have fun, pray for your sponsee and like Gooch said....we want to see the trophy. but they really have fishing tournaments::::

[namommy]

Thank you guys.

I am sure you already know by now that the name 'NAmommy" is there for a reason. I am a typical care taker. When it comes to my family, my sponsees, my friends, or anyone else in need, I go into 'mother bear' mode: Don't f*** with my cubs!!! That is probably why there are a few people around here (my area) who just call me 'mommy'.

I did what I've learned to do. I posted here, I made a few phone calls, delegated to some of my 'junior mommies' lol. and prayed. I am turning it over. I am hoping to send my 'attack dog' (cleanlady) over with her tomorrow too. That way, I will know she is OK. They are all under direction to call me tomorrow too.

As far as fishing, I can't wait. I really need a day on the beach, watching the waves roll in and getting in touch with just how Powerless I really am. There is something about the power of the ocean that always puts me back on square. God knew what he was doing when this tournament got scheduled.

Gooch, 2 things: 1: Where the he** is the Potomack? lol 2: I can never manage to post pictures, I am techno impaired remember.

Blake, I think she may do better than having a BIG man there tomorrow. She is going to be surrounded by a whole bunch of recovering women who at one time or another have gotten away from abusive men. He's dead meat!!

Paulie, I can't wait until I get my head back on straight, I think I am getting there though. And yes, they do have fishing tournaments. My husband and I fish on a surf-fishing team, last year in the tournament I was the only woman to get a fish on the leader board, and it was the fish that pushed our team over the top to win. I got to keep the team trophy for 2 weeks. My husband got skunked, and I haven't let him forget it, especially when it was our turn to get the trophy. lol This year my 2 boys are registered in the youth division of the tournament. Wish us luck.

[Paulie]

Luck to you my friend!!! Have a GREAT time!!!

[Blake]

Originally Posted by namommy

Blake, I think she may do better than having a BIG man there tomorrow. She is going to be surrounded by a whole bunch of recovering women who at one time or another have gotten away from abusive men. He's dead meat!!

Agreed....that will be a much scarier situation for that *****.


My thoughts and prayers,
-Blake

[Gooch]

lol .. I dunno I was just being a wise apple.I am bad enough withe cities and states but my river geography is worse yet.

Glad your going to get some rod and reel therapy.

[Phinneas]

Come on, Blake, tell us how you really feel. Don't hold back. lol

NAMommy - you're getting great advice and, what's more, applying the tools. Once again, you're a shining example of real recovery.

hugs,

phinny

[Paulie]

Originally Posted by Gooch

lol .. I dunno I was just being a wise apple.
.

:Lmao

[Time2Surrender]

I'll pray for her Laurie.And good luck in you fishing tornament.Let me know how ya'll do.

[nutz]

Good luck in your tournament tommorow Namommy.

I heard this once.
"if I was responisable for someone's recovery, that would make
me responsiable for their replase,drug use and whatever else too"

Hell, no !!! I'm not. I have a hard enough time keep'in me own stuff
together.

Of couse I care,empytize or sympytize
I can only carry the message and can't live for anyone.
I may lead by example or thourgh my actions..that would be living and enjoying life without the use of drugs, alcohloc and whatever other
negative crap i don't put myself into.

[polkadot]

To Na Mommy: I was married to an abusive husband for 18 years and I had to have enough and leave all by myself and i think thats why i followed through that time with it...I would attempt at times and not actually do it. it took me (with God's help) just leaving and not looking back. I was so scared!!!!!!!!! The best thing you can do is just be a friend to her but she really needs to actually leave on her own, I think because she will think long and hard before she would go back.. my husband would have killed me, I think. She is lucky to have you as a friend! God bless you and her...she is in my prayers! and remember God is with her always. Dot

[namommy]

Well, we're back.

Our team won the tournament. I caught 1 short that had to be thrown back, and my 7 year old son caught his first blue fish. He had his name on the board for about 10 min. until a bigger fish was brought in. At least it was long enough for us to take a picture of it. Last years win was more exciting since I caught the fish that put us over the top. But, it is still cool to kick butt as a team. And we had a good time.

My friend made her move. She is still very scared and upset, and he is making phone calls and making her feel guilty for leaving. I just keep encouraging her, and being her friend.

Just to give you and even bigger clue of what a care taker, NA junkie I am, the 1 and ONLY picture that anyone managed to take of me was when I was on my cell phone on the beach talking to another addict.

Thanks for keeping her in your prayers. Thanks for being here for me too.

[Gooch]

how would they ever get by without you checkin in?

ask me how I know about this..

I am laughing with you.

[historyteach]

Glad you had a good fishing trip, Laurie!
Yes, a shining example of recovery - I agree!!!
Thanks!
Shalom!

[danir]

I will keep you and all those you help in my prayers. *warm huggs*

I dont know if this helps, but if he does find out... What my friend did was tell my X that she was going to call every hour. If I did not pick up the phone and answer and / or she didnt hear the answers from me she wanted... she was going to call the police. He found out about 5 or 6hrs. (he did something to the phone prior to that.. it was odd. I picked up the phone and it said "Please enter your pass code prtoction number" ) before my escape help would arrive.

Your such a blessing.

[Paulie]

, glad you had fun, and a picture on a cell phone is better than no picture are all