I think I'm bottoming out

[wonderboy75]

I spent the entire night on this site again. Anyone who has talked to me thankyou. I am so alone.

I wish...

I have to go to a NA meeting, my soul is so empty.
I would never hurt myself but I don't want to live this way any more.

It's time to change.

I stilll have some left...damn.

My friend and I just sat up all night doing crystal and I didn't say more than 10 words to him. What's there to say, were junkies..ye..fun.

I hoped I'd be able to meet someone who could help me but I need to go to the hospital or something.

Now I'm going to put on my tie, and trick every person I talk to today into beleiving i'm sober.

Help.

[Paulie]

But....you have stopped tricking yourself. Get to a meeting today, you are NOT alone!

[Millwallj]

Originally Posted by wonderboy75

I spent the entire night on this site again. Anyone who has talked to me thankyou. I am so alone.

I wish...

I have to go to a NA meeting, my soul is so empty.
I would never hurt myself but I don't want to live this way any more.

It's time to change.

I stilll have some left...damn.

My friend and I just sat up all night doing crystal and I didn't say more than 10 words to him. What's there to say, were junkies..ye..fun.

I hoped I'd be able to meet someone who could help me but I need to go to the hospital or something.

Now I'm going to put on my tie, and trick every person I talk to today into beleiving i'm sober.

Help.

Dont listen to yourself, just move your legs to the meeting. Even if your head is screaming to you sit in and use, just let your legs move left right left all the way to the meeting.

we change despite ourselves.

[bikewench]

Wonder...

Your beginning to see the lie...

Praying for you.

[jazpoppy]

Wonderboy;

I am exactly where you are right now, so you are NOT ALONE! I struggle every single day with the desire to use, and some days my desire wins! I come here a lot and read and read and read, and sometimes respond.. I love this site, it has saved me many times. I was thinking that today I am not going to use, maybe tommorrow, but definately not today! If I can say that statement to myself each day, even each hour or minute or whatever, I may just make it through 24 hours without a drink or drug. I have never put that statement to work, but now it is my only hope so I must try. I must also find it in my heart to go to a meeting. I am feeling anti-social right now, and I don't like groups, but I may give it a try one night this week. So lets do this thing! Lets see if we can get through today...I'm rooting for you! Hope you can root for me too!


Luv

Jocelyn

[erino134]

You know. Telling yourself that you are not going to use for just today - and worry about tomorrow later - seems to have been working really well for me. Actually when I really embraced that attitude, it seems like everything in my life got easier. Like a load off my back. When I stopped saying that mantra to myself every 30 minutes, that is when my road to relapse started. I'm back on the wagon and I only know that I am not going to use before bed time tonight. (Even if I have to go to bed at 6 pm.) lol.
You are so NOT alone. That is what is so amazing - how not alone we all are. We are everywhere, in every walk of life, in every place we go. Go to a meeting!!

[Gooch]

(((((((Wonderboy))))))

It says in one of thr readings "we sought help from each other in desperation"


These days I try and go to a meeting or resolve an issue before I get "desperate"

but i was a desperate case when I first walked into a meeting and after I started realizing that I could stay clean by going to those meetings, somebody told me that desperation is a gift.

Hope you enjoy your desperation enough to get to a meeting but not so much you don't do anything about your problem.

We'll be waiting to hear how it goes.

[sweetness]

I think that you are really brave to come on here and let everyone know how you're feeling and what's going on in your head. Sometimes I find that it helps just to let other people know how you're feeling. I think you'll find that a lot of people are feeling the same way and find comfort in the fact that you AREN'T alone. You can over come this. I try to occupy my time with something else that I enjoy, I find the more busy I am the less time I have to use, and as everyone on here has said, worry about today , today and tomorrow , tomorrow. Find that peaceful place where your world consists of nothing but good, put your worrys there it will help you overcome some of the urge. I promise! I'll be praying for you.

~Sweetness

[Kahlia]

[quote=wonderboy75]I spent the entire night on this site again. Anyone who has talked to me thankyou. I am so alone.

I wish...

I have to go to a NA meeting, my soul is so empty.
I would never hurt myself but I don't want to live this way any more.

It's time to change.

I stilll have some left...damn.

My friend and I just sat up all night doing crystal and I didn't say more than 10 words to him. What's there to say, were junkies..ye..fun.

I hoped I'd be able to meet someone who could help me but I need to go to the hospital or something.

Now I'm going to put on my tie, and trick every person I talk to today into beleiving i'm sober.

You need to put on your tie and get to that meeting ASAP...you have been UP all night, literally. it is sad that you have these issues to deal with but you do....ONLY you can do it. We can tell you how it works, we can tell you what to do, we can tell you where to go....but we cannot fix you.....Please go get fixed.....you will need a new tie...the old one will be worn out from putting it on and taking it off......Kahlia...Peace, my friend