It seemed so innocent..............

[nevermind]

I had surgery about two weeks ago on my arm and the doctor prescribed Vicodin. I started taking them exactly as prescribed with the pain but it seemed like my mind was telling me that I was in more pain that I was actually in. Anything to pop another one. So now I'm out of them and I"m so sad because I want more.

So I tried to go online and find a place to order them. I havent been successful yet which frustrates me. But my problem is that I do not need them but I want them.

How do I just forget about wanting them? I want these thoughts to get out of my head. Oh and when I ran out, I was so moody and irritable and no one wanted to be around me........................ so not good.

What the heck is my problem?

[In memory of miracle]

Addiction is the problem.You woke the beast up.I would get to an NA or AA meeting and call my sponser ASAP.Dont play with it,cause it sure aint playin with you.Bless and prayers going out to you.

[Kahlia]

You are an addict and you fed the craving...you have started a cycle, which you can stop right now, if you choose. DO not buy any drugs online....get to an NA meeting, spill your guts and let go of your pride. You have a problem, this is the way you found out. As far as being irritable, that goes along with NO drugs after you have ate them......it isn't pretty but it is deadly....I hope you get help and let us kn ow how you are.......Kahlia

[nutz]

it's normal, what you went through
I went thourgh the samething after a serious accident.
whine like a bady or exagerated my pain.
"NO more Dude" she said after my second refilled.
I Got real grummpy for a while. I belive she called me
every freanken name in the book.
It was a good thing she loved me.lol

i'll be an addict , holy schit...that's a hell of a problem to have.
I stayed real closed to the program
Went to meeting and bitched a lot.
Called sponsor and bitched a lot.
Did as he said and bitched a lot.
Read books a lot.
wrote a lot.
Pray a lot.

In the NA basic text , The chapter, More will be revealed.
there's writing in there that pretend to this matter.

If you''re an addict like me.
My body and addict mind dosen't know the differnent between street drugs or prescribe drugs.
A drug, is a drug, is a drug, is a drug.
For some stupid reason when I put drugs into my system
My body craves more and my mind gets obsessed. Even thou I know I don't
need it. I just had to accept it and not try to aynalized it.
But you know I did...so I get nutz sometimes.lol

it's not the doctor's fault or my fault that I was in an accident.
What had to be done, had to be done.
I just had to stop beating up on myself and continue my recovery.
Sometimes it felt like my ass was fall'in off, but I did the best I could.
I didn't consider it a relapsed.
That stage passed and on with life and recovery.
I felt pretty good about myself to have gone thur that, after.

[mackat]

nevermind

please listen to what has been posted

this is EXACTLY the trail one of my sponsees went down last year. did surgery, ran out of the scripts. got his 'meds' over the internet. 'forgot' how many dozens he was doing each day. He was clinically dead for over a minute when the parameds brought him back.

He's clean to day. But had his girlfriend not been sittin on the couch talking to him when he went glassy, and had the girl next door not been a nurse in training so she knew her CPR...then we'd be thinking of him in that moment of silence
mackat

[BikerBill8]

Ney Nevermind, Listen to what everyone is saying call yuor sponser and go to a meeting.

[Time2Surrender]

Everyone else pretty much sumed it up.Get to a meeting.

[losttofreedom]

I am so not the touchy/feely granola type of person but you might try getting on your knees, literally, and pray to your higher power. I am not talking religion. Your higher power can be anything that is bigger than you and is loving and caring. Pray for all of those spiritual principles they talk about in recovery:humility, open-mindedness, willingness, faith, trust. It's not as easy to be ok with killing yourself in your disease if you are practicing these principles.
Meetings, meetings, meetings. Get a sponsor if you don't have one and take their direction. Get a commitment at a meeting so you are more likely to go when your disease is trying to get you loaded.
Get phone numbers of people who are clean and sober and pick the phone up and call one of them BEFORE you make that internet order.
You made a step in the right direction already by admitting something is wrong, you are only as sick as your secrets.
Good Luck.

[hopealwayz]

It always seems so innocent. My coke addiction seemed harmless before I took the first hit. Was with friends and we were having fun and then it just seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. I didn't know anything was wrong until the morning that I realized that I crossed the line somewhere and I didn't even realize it. I just feel right over and didn't see it coming. Until the morning I ran out and then thought to myself "I think I am addicted" and what horror those words were! Who me??? Well yes me why now.

So I can finally accept the addict in my today for what it is. Now that I recognize the problem, I can work on finding the solution.

[na4today]

That is how I had my relapse. Pain pills after a car accident. I sucked them up so fast that after the 2nd, the dr said he was concerned about it. I knew where the road I jumped on was going to go so I admitted to him that I'm an addict. No more pills. This is day 3 and at times I think I might go nuts. But I know this shall pass and it will get better. I have decided that I am going to let all the drs that I see know that I'm an addict.

[hopealwayz]

Sad truth is that our bodies do not know the difference between Doctor prescribed and self-prescribed drugs so it takes it as one and all the same.

[Kahlia]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

Sad truth is that our bodies do not know the difference between Doctor prescribed and self-prescribed drugs so it takes it as one and all the same.

Our bodies may not know the difference BUT our sick minds as addicts do. I was addicted to PRESCRIPTION pain killers. I thought "the Dr. gave them to me". Until I realized that I was not functioning, going to work, calling in work sick....I thought I was OK.....NOPE...I was addicted. ALL my Dr's know I am in recovery, they cannot help me unless I tell them the truth. I am glad that you have found out that you have "crossed the line", in other words you have woke up and went "what the hell"? It is soooo common to just one day wake up. I did and I thank God, I flushed those pills.....bad, really bad. I call those my lost 2 years. My best friend told me things I did, I did NOT believe her. I do now....I had no clue as to what I was doing.....I am grateful for today.....Kahlia