I am lying to myself

[S-ROD]

I need help but i lie to myself and say i can do it. I was addicted to oxy's for 2 years. I was clean for about 100 days when i started doing perks, vic's, oxy's (yeah again) and even herion. I haven't had H in 4 days and haven't had oxy's in 2 day. haven't had perks for weeks but i have the vicodin. They are helping with the withdrawals. I am not taking it to get high. I take one like every 5 hours so i don't have sweats and stuff. I got them from the dentist because i just had my wisdom teeth out. Well i have 6 left and i am hoping i can taper myself off. is this impossible? I feel like such a failure. It is all because i started dating a guy theat has back problems so he gets perks and when he runs out he gets H. I was doing it here and there then i had to get high every day this has been going on since Jan. 2 months. I cant tell my parents they hate me so much from the first time i needed help. This is my first relapse and i hope last...

Hey S-Rod,
I know where your coming from. I started on the pills and slowly got into heroin and it ruined my life.It sounds like you want to quit but eventually your gonna have to feel ****** to feel better and you know what I'm talking about if this isn't your first time around this stuff. Good luck. All I can say is get to meeting and talk about it. It wont make the dope sickness go away but it will make you feel a little better knowing that there are other people doing the same thing. Hang in there. It is possible to do this and it will get better if you kick this .

Mike ( another recovering dope fiend)

[Kahlia]

I used to use Dilaudid and Morphine. I quit them both cold turkey...not good. I then proceeded to use Vic's to "ease" the pain of WD's. I am now clean for 3 years. You need to get to an NA Meeting as FAST as possible. We fool ourselves because we are fools when it comes to this disease. I hope you get off everything and get clean. You will have a new outlook on life and a NEW life......Just an addict with a little experience.....Kahlia

[cleanlady]

I to was into perks, which led me to my greatest love of all, oxys,and then because of $ led me to H. I couldn't stop til I wanted to die. For me, I could never wean it always took me back to full blown use. Our disease wants us dead but first it wants us to suffer! It will cause us to think of the crazyest things to make us use. After 11 months clean, I found 1 pill, and that got my disease working overtime. I'm sad to say I listened and used. After 1 night, those old feelings came back,the excuses we can make to use again. Thank God that I have a good sponsor and people in my life who love me and want to help me. I got to a meeting and got my hand up and now I can tell you I have 90 days today! The N.A. program has given me my life back, I can learn how to live again. For me it has been the only way to stay clean. I hope you can get clean and stay clean , I'll be thinking of you , try to get to a meeting , it really helps a lot.

[namommy]

I kicked a Heroine habit cold turkey my last time around. It was rough, but obviously I survived it. You will survive this too. I was sick for a few days, on day 4 got my butt to an NA meeting and got my hand up and shared about it. That was 8 1/2 years ago, I have been clean ever since. You can be too.

some detox advice. Drink ALOT of water to help dilute and flush out your system. Tylenol during the day, and Tylenol PM at night for the aches and pains and to help you get at least a little sleep (probably not much). Hot baths and showers often to help relax your muscles, ease up the twitching (also helps the aches and pains). Try to eat something light 4 or 5 small, light meals instead of 1 or 2 big ones. And hang on Tight. You can do it.

[S-ROD]

thank you for all the advice. It is so hard because i work and i can not have time off. This weekend is the end of it. I am coming home friday after work and staying in my house all weekend. Hopefully i will feel better by Monday. I went through all this before with the oxy's. i CAN DO IT AGAIN!!!! Thank you all for all the kind words. Thanks for being a great support. Yeah, i think me and my boyfriend need to get to some meetings. *stacy*