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03-04-2005, 07:59 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Charlottesville, Va
Posts: 632
| Emotional roller coaster today
Wow, since last night I've felt, sadness, pain, joy and working on acceptance. I've cried today like I haven't cried in over a year of being in recovery. Tears coming out is less pain coming in. My tears though have been of joy, sadness, and indifference. I saw my ex-girlfriend last night, we had dated for 9+ years until about 2 years ago, when my drug addiction had me in the grips. I mend amends to her a couple of months ago, but hadn't seen or talk to her since. Last night at a concert, she happened to be there and we talked. She told me she was so happy to see me happy and enjoying life. She knew that I was a nice guy/sweet/caring guy that she fell in love with. But, my disease progressed so much that I kept her hostage for so many years. She started getting emotional, as I am right now typing this. She reads my amends letter time to time and it has really makes her proud how much I've changed. The shame/guilt that I've caused her is still with me, which just for today I don't pick up because of the shame/guilt that I caused all my close friends/family/myself. I know I've changed but to see someone who I have known for a 3rd of my life, tell me and get emotional was very emotional for me too. She told me she loved me and to keep staying in the light. A reading a few days ago talked about how we have difficulty dealing with success, that is so true. I have difficulty knowing that I'm living the life my Higher Power had in store for me. I can honestly say that the feelings I had last night were one as a brother/sister relationship, and I feel good about that.
__________________ Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. -Lenny Bruce |
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03-04-2005, 08:55 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| bluegrass viking  Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: cape cod, ma.
Posts: 8
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but i'll get back on my feet someday the good Lord willin if He says I may I know that the life I'm livin's no good get a new start live the life I should I'll get up and fly away I'll get up and fly away fly away sounds like you've sprouted wings........from the living dead to feeling again..you are a miracle.... being a deadhead I love your avatar..best of luck..and keep on truckin man |
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03-06-2005, 08:13 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Vision of Hope  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Living on This side of the green!!
Posts: 1,062
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That's what Im talking about!!!!! You are a Vision of Hope... Todd J.
__________________ We get relief through the Twelve Steps which are essential to the recovery process, because they are a new, spiritual way of life that allows us to participate in our own recovery. We Do Recover Todd J. |
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03-06-2005, 09:38 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Just For Today  Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Western New York
Posts: 133
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Thanks for sharing, Moontime 
__________________ God, take my will & my life, Guide me in my recovery, Show me how to live, Just For Today! Identify with the sick and suffering addict... don't judge! |
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