life on life's terms

[MUMMBLZZ]

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what exactly does this term mean in your oppinion? i have 15 months clean and thought i knew, but lately it seams that my way of doing things in the past were wrong, so now i'm supposed to sit back and let everyone else tell me that what they say is gospel. i feel i shouldn't go to the bathroom without cosulting atleast 5 people who know best. this feeling is going to do me in, i hope i'm wrong, but if i were a betting man, i would bet i relapse within 6 months, and i don't like the feeling.

any help in explaining this term would be appreciated.

[Shakur T.]

peace,

i don't know if i have the answer for you...

for me, i had always tried to live life on MY terms. i wanted life to adapt to me. whenever things didn't go my way, i tried to make things come out the way i wanted them to. i was ALWAYS MAD at the world and everybody in it, because they would not do what I wanted, when i wanted and how I wanted. I wanted to live MY life on MY terms!!

after many years of a self-destructive life (lived on my terms). i was led to recovery as practiced through the 12 steps of NA. i am learning to accept life as it comes. i realize that my self-destruction came from my inability to accept life as it happened. learning to not try to control everything (or that i never was in control) was a step towards acceptance of life...

i came to believe that my life would be better managed by a loving power greater than myself (doesn't make a difference if you believe in God or not)and that if i put my spiritual condition first in my life, things would happen naturally (as they were meant to all along). so, i stopped trying to make things happen for me. started learning to accept the things i could not change. learned to just apprieciate the beauty of today and realized that i was learning to live life on life's terms. i hope this helps you in some small way...

BTW - betting on a relapse might be considered a reservation. Reservations rob us of the benefits that this program has to offer...

peace

[Gooch]

Now that your clean, do you feel like your struggling against the flow of life?

I know I felt that way and living "life on life's terms" seems easier for me when I don't always have to have the answer, or resolve every situation that comes my way.

You don't have to consult 5 or 15 people and consider their opinions and outlooks the gospel, but what could hurt to maintain an open mind toward possibly incorporating some of others perspectives into your approach to dealing wiith things?

Shakur mentioned the devastating effects of living "his" way for all those years. Same happened to me and the beginnings of coping with life on life's terms for me was to question my automatic first response. Just take a second and ask myself if I was running on auto pilot or taking the time to consider that there might be a less drastic approach.


While our way of doing things in the past may not have been totally wrong, thers an analogy I like that goes..."When the only tool you have is a hammer everything starts to look like a nail"

[Gooch]

Oh and welcome to SR... Thanks for sharing.

[stud0134]

I feel like life on lifes terms means being part of society and doing are part in society.
um paying bills, actually returning rented video's,going to work on time and so on. you being responsible.Also when society throws a curve at us being able to deal with it responsibley, obeying the law. these are all the things I didnt do in my addiction and now that Im clean I clean live life on life's terms.

chris addict.

Merry christmas to all and to all A merry christmas

[godsonmyside]

These Guys said some powerful stuff!!!!!!!
THROUGH OUR INABILITY TO ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSABILITY, WE WERE ACTUALLY CREATING OUR OWN PROBLEMS. WE WERE INCAPABLE OF LIVING LIFE ON LIFES TERMS.
I create alot of the things that I don't like happening to me in my life because have to make sure my unmanagability turns out the way I want it to. My additude sucks, I want to blame it on the day. My day sucks!!! The day doesn't suck, The day doesn't care how I feel, the day is gonna happen no matter how I feel. It turns back to me in my additude. There is one thing more than anything else that WILL defeat us in our recovery, that is an additude of ..........
Like Shakur said: Reservations rob us of what this program has to offer!! My ideas and way of thinking brought me to this point, I need to find a New Way to live.
Take some suggestions at meetings, get and use a sponsor, Even if he's the biggest fool you can find, you will still get further than you will by doing it alone, work some step, this is a process of SIMPLE application.
Welcome to SR, you will find some great people here!!
Todd J.

[Shakur T.]

Originally Posted by Gooch

"When the only tool you have is a hammer everything starts to look like a nail"

I love this!! You hit it right on the head....

[cj.]

Welcome To SR Mummblzz:

In my opinion, life on life's terms requires no more from me than it requires of itself. Life is ever changing, ever growing, always renewing and replenishing, adaptable, in balance and responsible for itself, but most of all life goes on whether I take an active part in it or not!!

Life's terms do not change to suit me, but asks me to change and become more accepting of its terms. It is only by acceptance that I find any peace in my life.

That is not to say that all that happens to me is acceptable, because it's not!! There are forces in this world that are against me (my disease) and would love to see me go back into active addiction. My mind is my biggest enemy at any given time!! SO.....I learn to pick my battles and make the choices that will keep me clean for today!

I may not have everything I want in my life today, but through working the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, I have everything I need to make those wants possible. But best of all, I am no longer the screwed up, destructive, hopeless addict that I used to be!!

cj

[tramp]

i don't do this one well, or i should say, i don't do this one by the white mans book. being a member of a counter culture.
i never have fit into society , wasn't "welcomed back with open arms" when i got sober.
i accept that, it's ok. i do n't want to drink over it, though i can see how i could use it as an excuse.

society has done alot of miserable crap to me, much like god, and we have our differences. that doesn't preclude me from benefitting from my new found life in sobriety.
neither i or society will ever change to suit the other, that's just ok.
like cj said "My mind is my biggest enemy at any given time!!".
i notice my manic episodes are getting worse over time . that's one of those things, i just roll with it cause it's the way it is. life on lifes terms.it isn't fair, and i don't like it. but there it i s.
i could drink over that too. i could ( and did) drink over the sun rising or setting.
our attachment to this suffering we love so much is a terrible thing.
now i vent and rage over social injustice, profiling and a million other things, but i don't pick up that bottle.