I feel like her using is my fault...:(

[thanx2methodone]

I saw my bestest friend at the store today (who i haven't seen in 5 months)and the site of her just tore me up inside...she looks aweful!! (obviously still using) I feel so bad for her I don't know what i can do..IF there's anything i can do...) Deep down, i feel responsible for her being like that cause we always use to get high together (she know's no one else who does it).
I just feel so guilty....i wish there was something i could do.....I know she is so alone right now.....I FEEL SO BAD!! She's kindda choked at me right now, cause she feels like i just dumped her...but i had to!! I loved her to death, but being around her would jepordize my recovery!!!
I am so full of guilt right now...I feel like it is all my fault she's like that! and she has absolutly no one.....oh god...i feel just aweful...

[WNY Addict]

You have no reason to feel bad right now, thanx2methodone. If anything, you staying clean is the best thing you can do for your friend (and yourself, obviously).

I've seen friends relapse, and I've also seen friends die. You can't do anything except help yourself, and that's what you're doing by staying clean and living the NA way. You're setting an example for your friend right now, and it's up to her to make the decision of whether or not she wants sobriety too. It's not your choice, and you are not responsible for her self-destruction.

You're doing the right thing, and it's only normal to feel the way you do. It's only human to feel for a friend suffering, but you need to keep your distance and put your recovery before her.

You can't help anyone if you can't even help yourself.

Keep your distance. If anything, offer her an invitation to a meeting. I do that with friends of mine that have relapsed and are out using. I'll call or write them and tell them I love them, but I can't have anything to do with them unless they want my help to recover. I'll drive them to meetings, I'll buy them a dinner after, but I won't give them money or my company if I know they're using.

You did the right thing. Keep it up, and keep that chin up

[ouch]

using was her choice ... i know how you feel because i introduced a friend of mine to heroin, too, and i still feel guilty about it even though it never became her drug of choice... but it was their decision to try it, we didn't force them. and remember, we were really sick ourselves, and in denial about how serious it all was (i thought, hey, getting high is a GOOD thing, what could be bad about it?? i thought i was being nice by introducing her to it....that's just crazy).

and you need to protect yourself, i admire the fact that you got away from all your using friends....i did that with drugs, but alcohol is another story. i can't seem to give up my friends who drink.....but i am working on it. i think as i meet more sober people and get closer to them i will slowly drift away from the others....i hope so, anyway

i'm sorry you are feeling badly right now, but i hope you can see all the good that has come out of your recovery-related decisions......i can understand the guilty feelings, though, it's hard. i did a lot of things that make me cringe and tear up when i think about them

[Shakur T.]

Thank God for the 9th step. It helped me to accept the part I played in situations and make amends to the best of my ability. The longer you stay clean, the more you will understand the amends process. Someone else said that the best thing you can do for your friend is to stay clean. You can be that vision of hope that she may need to light the spark of desire. And that is the only requirement for membership in our fellowship.

I introduced my first two "baby mama's" to heroin. When I got clean I had all of the same guilt and shame about what their lives might have been like if they had not met me! My sponsor helped me to see that I was not responsible for their disease. He told me that I was not that powerful. That I did not have the power to cause or stop anybody's addiction. They alwyas have a choice.

My oldest daughter's mother now has 7 years clean after doing 3 years in Clinton (women's prison), my 16 year old's mother died two years ago as a direct result of her choice to continue using. All I did was continue not to use and take care of my girls. When they asked for help, I was able to point them in the right direction. My heart is clear...