I scared about what this $ will do to me!

[thanx2methodone]

I have a huge concern...My grandfather passed away about 6 months ago, and left me a really big inheretince, and i'm really afraid about what it might do to my recovery. I have never even seen this much money in my life, let alone had it!! I don't want to say anything to my parents about it cause they just began to trust me again and little do they know--I don't even know if i can trust myself! I really do want to spend this money in a good way,maybe get a new car and a condo or something, but i am really scared of having all that money in my possession!
Anyone have any suggestions on what to do? I think i get it all in one check next week!! I just signed the papers yesterday!!

[Paulie]

I think telling this to your parents will just help them trust you more. Talk to them, give them the check to hold until you can make some decisions on what you want to do.

[splendra]

Paulie gives some very good advice....... or you could mail it to me and I'll hold it for you....

[nutz]

My mother keeps my money,now.
Yes, seem eresponsiable to some.
I had money in the bank. It's so easy to run to the ATM
at which ever hours and run to different ones.

Real hard to knock on mother's door after 9 p.m..lol
When I do ask for my money , she dose gives it freely.
I get asked questions and get put in check.
She knows I have a good income and I wouldn't really
need to take money out of my savings unless something was up.
Sometimes those urges to spend money passes as I'm driving
to my mother's . Thinking about what she would tell me
changes my mind and I go do something else to try to fill the
viod inside of me. Like go to a meeting ,read my books or
just taking a walk or enjoy and play with the stuff I have already.

I've spent an wasted so much money in recovery.
After spending money or going on a shoping spreed
I still get that empty void and have a bunch of stuff that
I don't have room for.lol
I got about into $30,000 + of remote control toys,
10 + guitars and what not. Do I need all that stuff.
There's only one of me.lol

I had $10,000 can to me in one sum. It went faster then I thought.
My girlfriend and I bring in almost $5000 per month. It gose faster
than I want to.

I'm an Addict and have a lot to recover from.lol

[thanx2methodone]

Does this feeling ever past though...will i ever be able to handle my finances without having this concern...?
I don't really think giving my money to my mother is a good idea, as i could see her not giving it back, cause she already doesn't like the idea of me being handed all this money without working for it.........(Which is ridiculous seeing as she has never work a day in the past 25 years cause she has been living off the money my grandfather has given her!)

[Bewildered]

Meth, if you don't trust your mom to give it back, then do you have a stockbroker or banker that you trust? Then if it was invested, say in an annuity or something for which you are penalized if you take it out early, you might be less likely to be able to spend it on a whim. Nutz is right about the positive effect that someone standing between you and your money can have, if only to take away the option of impulse spending. And, if it is a barrier that you willingly erect between you and your money, then you have taken responsibility for yourself, which should make you feel empowered! Good luck!

[ouch]

hey thanx,

i just took my accounting final yesterday, and I have to say that investing it is the way to go. You will actually be doubling, tripling, quadrupling your money with an annuity (try to get one with a decent interest rate that compounds semi-annually) and in five or ten years you will have a bunch of money-- that you are ready to do something GOOD with!!

best of luck to you, and congratulations on your clean time!! i love your posts, you are always so positive and honest, i'm glad you're here and doing well.

julia

[nutz]

I've taken many classes on keeping a budgets
It dosen't have lasting affect on me.
I start off good..I could have retired by now with
all the money I've wasted.

A grown man giving his money to his mommy.."oh freaken will"
It works for me at the moment

You notice in step #1, it dosn't say any about drugs.
It say I'm powerless over addiction.
I'm an addict, I get addicted to whatever.
So I have to try to work the principle of the steps in other
area of my life as I did with drugs and alcohol.
One day at a time. Sometimes five minuts at a time.
Or a daily reprive

Subtitutions.
We try to fill the viod inside of us with people, places, and things.
My disease. It is why I am at a DIS-EASE
This is why I'm a very needie person.lol The damn hole inside of
me is so freaken big. A thousand is never enough.
The only thing big enough to fill that viod is not of this world.
It has to big BIGGER than that. A HIGHER POWER.
The steps is design to Keep us plug in with our Higher power.

When we get hurt or things don't our way. WE might not pick up
drugs or alcohol. We do things that might just as damaging or worst.
But when we get into that insanity zone ,off we go to
try to fill that damn hole. Only after some type of wreackage
or break down we might think about stopping, just like drugs.
Depending on how crappy we feel about it.
Then the voice say...you might as will get F%#k up ,or get high,now.
I deffernently don't work a perfect program and do stupid things
beside not drinking and using.
Our disease is cunning, baffling , and powerful

Maybe some Bonds , so money can't be taken out for a couple of
years. It'll draw better interest than in a bank accounts.
Realstate is a good investment also.
It might buy time to understand yourself or practicing the program
better.

The urge/feelings do go away just like the desire to use drugs.
It is however only after being honest about it and accepting it.
The problem is...some of us go the extra mile just to find out
or be honest about it.
I'm one of them.
The BIG HAPPY DUDE just laughs and say "did you have enough yet?"

You are doing the right thing for yourself by bringing it issue
up and discussing it. The answers will come.
Just pray about it like you've done with drugs and alcohol.

[cj.]

Hey Thanx:

Lot's of great advice so far. Nothing more to add except.........

If you decide to give it away, I'll happily share with Splendra!!

[splendra]

Hey I would invest it and make it make enough money for us both to retire!!!!

[Shakur T.]

Just for today, I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help in my recovery.

Who can you trust? Money has always been a problem for us. The investments seem like the best idea. Whatever you do remember, you don't HAVE TO use!!

There will come a time when you will be somewhat better at handling your $$. I have been clean over 16 years and $$ is sometimes, still, a mood-altering thing for me. You are right to be concerned and ask for help.

Hang tuff!!

[servicejunkie]

I definately agree with shakur, but also what nutz says. I have tried "retail therapy" in an attemt to "fix" before in recovery. When I was two or three months clean I came into a bit of $$$, I was married at the time so it was easy to let her have control of everything. I didn't trust myself either. At the time however, I have learned to handle things a little bit better. I am only impulsive on occasion, and I never go overboard anymore and buy something I will not get my use out of or a good investment. I just went through my divorce recently and have had a very large amount of cash in my bank account!! Its great how I can trust myself today not to go crazy and buy a bunch of CRAP I'll never use.
I invest in a little real estate. I just closed on a house for myself on Wed. (yeah!!!), and will likely spend/invest most the rest of my money in the next 30-60 days. I do have the task of remodling the house I just bought and I am very tempted to go overboard with things. Of course I am recently divorced and have nothing as far as furniture/adult toys goes. I have learned that I have to be honest about these kind of things with people. Again though, I had $$$ in the account when I got clean, and money was never a "trigger" for me (at least to buy drugs!). In early recovery I had to turn my finances over to someone until I could learn to trust myself, and I still have some fear and have to talk about things 28 months later.

[WNY Addict]

Like someone else said, give the check to your parents and tell them about your concerns. It's going to make them trust you all the more..... and then you know you're not going to be tempted to use it on "other things".

Get to more meetings, T2M. I think you'll find that things like this are real easy to deal with when you have a program and sponsor to fall back on.