OMG!! I just wanted to DIE!!!

[thanx2methodone]

Well today started off good for me, cause my old agent(for modeling) who originally "fired" me till i was clean, heard i was clean again and came over to "catch-up". I haven't seen him for like 7 years, so i was really excited to see him and start working again.
When he got here, I was in the middle of moving my drums outside (yes I'm a GIRL and i play drums--crazy--i know) and OMG... while he was moving my snair drum out to the van...guess what fell out of it??!! A RIG!!(sryinge for those who don't know) I JUST ABOUT DIED!!! I had NO IDEA it was in there!!! I had no idea what to say!!..he just kindda looked at me like "WHAT THE H***?!"
I mean, the guy was there cause he offered me my job back cause i was clean--then this happens!!! What s***y timing for something like this to happen!! What am i doing to do??!! I AM CLEAN!! I tried to tell him, but i'm not sure he believes me. This job means so much to me!! It played a big part in my motivation to get clean!! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?! I feel so...mad/upset/shocked/helpless all at once!
How can i let him know for sure that i am CLEAN and that this was just a total fluke? Unless i take him to the doc with me to see my UAs every week for the past 5 months, i have no idea what to do!! Any suggestions!!

[Time2Surrender]

That really sucks.But whats done is done.Hopefully he will see in your behavior,etc that you are clean.You told him you are clean and thats all you can do.I know for me,it will probably take some people years to trust me again.I spent many years burning bridges etc.Its hard to rebuild them overnight.

[thanx2methodone]

Thanx for the reply, T3S. I just feel so stupid right now, I can't believe that happened!! I am sssoo embarressed!!
I don't know what to do or say. I am suppose to call him today and i'm scared. I really don't want him thinking that i still use--his opinion means so much, not only to myself, but to my carreerr also.......I just don't know what to do I feel like crying!!

[Time2Surrender]

Whats done is done.I recommend calling him as if it never happened.Dwelling on this is only gonna drive you nuts.I have a feeling everything is gonna work out just fine.

[Paulie]

I agree, actions speak louder than words. Your actions will show him you are clean.

When we get clean sometimes we forget where we stashed things. The first 2 months I was clean I was driving around a little truck that had a few different things stashed in the door panel, didn't know it.

[Debby]

You got some great advice here. Show him your clean by the way you talk and act now. And if necessary show him your drug tests or have him give you one, I was under the assumption that alot of employees were giving drug tests now. I know your not comfortable that way, but people such as ourselves, and there is alot of us, have to do it so we can do what we love to do.
I hope you get thru to him.
Debby

[thanx2methodone]

Thank you all for your replys. It makes me feel better just talking about. It still kindda sucks though, cause for once in a long time, I am actually being truthful about being clean!!
Do you think I should just leave it? I feel like i have to prove myself...Do you think it would be a good idea to offer to take a drug test for him? or take him to the doc with me, so my doctor can tell him I've been clean for 5 months (and show him proof w/ UAs).
I feel like such an idiot... and it sucks too, cause today is suppose to be a happy day cause i am EXACTLY 5 MONTHS CLEAN!!! YAY me!! But it's a s****y feeling when someone thinks you're still using, when for once, you're actually Not!!