Is there hope?? At all????

[spantish2004]

I woke up today wondering if the guy I love is dead or alive. He went missing again and we all know what that means. He's got my car, and I don't know what to tell my parents. I live at home and I just want to protect them from knowing about all of the junk that has been happening. I'm so burdened with guilt and shame and ANGER, that it's killing me.

I'm starting to believe that once you're an addict, you always will be. My life with my guy will always be like this won't it? I've only been a memeber to this site for a couple of weeks and I've read tell I've been blue in the face, and to me, everything I've read, leads me to believe that an addict will never be freed from his/her burden.

I guess I'll just have to move on. I hope that I get my car back and I hope that I can get through this and find healing. I am going to try to make it for one of the chat meetings that is here, and hopefully I will find healing.

I am thankful for this site. It has hurt to read and learn the reality of an addicts mind, but I've just got to think for myself now. That's what I'm going to try and do.

[namommy]

Hello, and Welcome to SR.

Have you checked out the Nar-anon forum? It is for friends and loved ones of addicts.
Maybe you can find some help and answers to your questions there as well.

[Shakur T.]

Hi spantish2004,

There is always hope...I'm so glad that the addicts in NA never gave up on me. I tried and tried several times to get and stay clean. I hurt those who loved me and damaged myself in the process.

I just kept coming back to NA. I was blessed to surrender before I died. As long as I had breath in my body, I kept trying...Like namommy said maybe you can find some help at the Nar-Anon board. I don't claim to know a whole lot, but I do know that you must take care of yourself, and try not to make his issues, your issues.

Peace & Blessings

[Debby]

Oh hun, I was there twice in my life. They always abused my love and took my things and never thought about anybody but themselves. I think we all stay with these type of people because it is a challenge for us. Like we have this great love to offer and they will be fine just because of our special love. WRONG!!! Find your strength to leave him, you do have strength because you have to be strong to live this way. The best thing I did was get away, I found that I was not happy in the relationship and was jealous of everyone who was in a good relationship. So I lied and made it sound wonderful. One thing I now is my parents werent stupid, they new, everyone new. They were not there for me when I was with these guys, but they were there when I had enough sense to leave these jerks behind me. And then they called for a year trying to get me back, they said how they changed and would do anything for me. I just coudnt believe it one more time. I was happy and didnt need to be so strong all the time and eventually I found the man of my dreams, who took me away from that life and gave me a new home and alot of love. And now people are jealous of me. I never thought this would come true, but now I have the fairy tale.
Good luck and think of yourself first. Because he wont think of you first.
Debby

[Imagine]

Welcome to SR spantish2004, Like namommy, and shakur T. said, check out the Nar-Anon board, you'll find the support you need there. As a recovering addict myself, I'll tell you the very best thing YOU can do for YOU is to get as far away from him as you can. Report your car stolen and tell them who got it and start working on you. As long as he's active all he's thinking is how to get more, and yes they are a WORLD of HOPE for both of you. "Insanity is doing the samething over again, expecting a different outcome." Such as tring to change someone that don't want to change.

[osier59]

Spantish 2004,

I posted this over in Nar Anon as well. Today is our friend Jack W's NA Birthday.He has 33 YEARS clean... that's 12,054 days. He continues to go to meetings and conventions, he works the steps and he lives his life one day at a time.

Yes, there is HOPE, and yes there is RECOVERY.

And yes, you should check out Nar Anon. There are many there who can relate to your story and your life.

Hugs and love
Barb

[Paulie]

Hope.....YES there is hope, if I give up on hope, what does that mean for my recovery? I am an addict blessed to be sober for over 9 years now. But hope for him is not the question you should be asking. You should be asking about hope for you. I will say DITTO to all the above, hop on over to Naranon, get to know those people on that forum, you can learn alot from them about respect for yourself. That is what it all boils down to for you and for me. Respecting ourselves enough to.... (you fill in the blank).

Good luck and blessings to you.